Chapter 65

_Enter LACHES._

LACHES. I've this convenience from my neighb'ring villa; I'm never tir'd of country or of town. For as disgust comes on, I change my place. --But is not that our Parmeno? 'Tis he For certain.--Whom d'ye wait for, Parmeno, Before that door?

PAR. Who's that? Oh, Sir! you're welcome: I'm glad to see you safe return'd to town.

LACHES. Whom do you wait for?

PAR. I'm undone: my tongue Cleaves to my mouth through fear.

LACHES. Ha! what's the matter? Why do you tremble so? Is all right? Speak!

PAR. First, Sir, I'd have you think, for so it is, Whatever has befall'n has not befall'n Through any fault of mine.

LACHES. What is't?

PAR. That's true. Your pardon, Sir, I should have told that first. --Phædria, Sir, bought a certain Eunuch, as A present to send her.

LACHES. Her!--Her! whom?

PAR. Thais.

LACHES. Bought? I'm undone! at what price?

PAR. Twenty Minæ.

LACHES. I'm ruin'd.

PAR. And then Chærea's fall'n in love With a young music-girl.

LACHES. How! what! in love! Knows he already what a harlot is? Has he stol'n into town? More plagues on plagues.

PAR. Nay, Sir! don't look on me! it was not done By my advice.

LACHES. Leave prating of yourself. As for you, rascal, if I live--But first Whatever has befallen, tell me, quick!

PAR. Chærea was carried thither for the Eunuch.

LACHES. He for the Eunuch!

PAR. Yes: since when, within They've seiz'd and bound him for a ravisher.

LACHES. Confusion!

PAR. See the impudence of harlots!

LACHES. Is there aught else of evil or misfortune You have not told me yet?

PAR. You know the whole.

LACHES. Then why do I delay to rush in on them? (_Exit._

PAR. There is no doubt but I shall smart for this. But since I was oblig'd to 't, I rejoice That I shall make these strumpets suffer too: For our old gentleman has long desir'd Some cause to punish them; and now he has it.

[Changes:

_Harper_ --But is not that our Parmeno? 'Tis he For certain.--Whom d'ye wait for, Parmeno _Colman 1768_ --But is not that our Parmeno? 'Tis he. Parmeno, who is it you're waiting for

_Harper_ PAR. First, Sir, I'd have you think, for so it is _Colman 1768_ PAR. First be persuaded, Sir,--for that's the case

_Harper_ --Phædria, Sir, bought a certain Eunuch, as A present to send her. LACHES. Her!--Her! whom? PAR. Thais. _Colman 1768_ --Phædria lately bought a certain Eunuch By way of present to this gentlewoman. LACHES. What gentlewoman, sirrah? PAR. Madam Thais.

_Harper_ Has he stol'n into town? More plagues on plagues. _Colman 1768_ Is he in town? misfortune on misfortune!

LACHES. Confusion! _1768 edition has question mark_]