Part 6

PORTEOUS. [_Spluttering._] Well, well, well! . . . [_Helplessly._] I like him, Kitty, it's no good pretending I don't. I like him.

TEDDIE. The moon's shining, Elizabeth. We'll drive all through the night.

PORTEOUS. They'd better go to San Michele. I'll wire to have it got ready for them.

LADY KITTY. That's where we went when Hughie and I . . . [_Faltering._] Oh, you dear things, how I envy you!

PORTEOUS. [_Mopping his eyes._] Now don't cry, Kitty. Confound you, don't cry.

TEDDIE. Come, darling.

ELIZABETH. But I can't go like this.

TEDDIE. Nonsense! Lady Kitty will lend you her cloak. Won't you?

LADY KITTY. [_Taking it off._] You're capable of tearing it off my back if I don't.

TEDDIE. [_Putting the cloak on ELIZABETH._] And we'll buy you a tooth-brush in London in the morning.

LADY KITTY. She must write a note for Arnold. I'll put it on her pincushion.

TEDDIE. Pincushion be blowed! Come, darling. We'll drive through the dawn and through the sunrise.

ELIZABETH. [_Kissing LADY KITTY and PORTEOUS._] Good-bye. Good-bye.

[_TEDDIE stretches out his hand and she takes it. Hand in hand they go out into the night._

LADY KITTY. Oh, Hughie, how it all comes back to me! Will they suffer all we suffered? And have we suffered all in vain?

PORTEOUS. My dear, I don't know that in life it matters so much what you do as what you are. No one can learn by the experience of another because no circumstances are quite the same. If we made rather a hash of things perhaps it was because we were rather trivial people. You can do anything in this world if you're prepared to take the consequences, and consequences depend on character.

[_Enter CHAMPION-CHENEY, rubbing his hands. He is as pleased as Punch._

C.-C. Well, I think I've settled the hash of that young man.

LADY KITTY. Oh!

C.-C. You have to get up very early in the morning to get the better of your humble servant.

[_There is the sound of a car starting._

LADY KITTY. What is that?

C.-C. It sounds like a car. I expect it's your chauffeur taking one of the maids for a joy-ride.

PORTEOUS. Whose hash are you talking about?

C.-C. Mr. Edward Luton's, my dear Hughie. I told Arnold exactly what to do and he's done it. What makes a prison? Why, bars and bolts. Remove them and a prisoner won't want to escape. Clever, I flatter myself.

PORTEOUS. You were always that, Clive, but at the moment you're obscure.

C.-C. I told Arnold to go to Elizabeth and tell her she could have her freedom. I told him to sacrifice himself all along the line. I know what women are. The moment every obstacle was removed to her marriage with Teddie Luton, half the allurement was gone.

LADY KITTY. Arnold did that?

C.-C. He followed my instructions to the letter. I've just seen him. She's shaken. I'm willing to bet five hundred pounds to a penny that she won't bolt. A downy old bird, eh? Downy's the word. Downy.

[_He begins to laugh. They laugh, too. Presently they are all three in fits of laughter._

[The Curtain Falls]

THE END

Transcriber's Note

This transcription is based on scanned images posted by the Internet Archive from a copy in the University of California, Santa Barbara Library:

archive.org/details/circlecomedyinth00maug

The following changes were noted:

- In the original text, titles for each act (e.g., "THE FIRST ACT") were printed on otherwise blank pages. In addition, the associated versos were blank, as were two of the pages facing these pages. These pages were not included or otherwise identified in the transcription, and thus in the html version of this transcription pp. 6-8, pp. 34-35, and pp. 64-66 are missing from the page count.

- p. 15: ...and a note was found on the pin-cushion.--Deleted hyphen in "pin-cushion" for consistency.

- p. 36: ...you'll discover that onlokers are expected...--Changed "onlokers" to "onlookers".

- p. 40: She's tinsel You think I'm...--Inserted a period after "tinsel".

- p. 44: [_Almost giving it up as a bad job._ Oh, my God!--Inserted a closing bracket after "_job._"

The html version of this etext attempts to reproduce the layout of the printed text. However, some concessions have been made. For example, stage directions printed flush right were indented the same amount from the left margin and coded as hanging paragraphs.