SCENE II.[21

[_Enter_] DARES, SAMIAS, SCINTILLA, _and_ FAVILLA.

_Dar._ Come, Samias, didst thou ever hear such a sighing, the one for Cynthia, the other for Semele, and both for moonshine in the water?

_Sam._ Let them sigh, and let us sing. How (5) say you, gentlewomen, are not our masters too far in love?

_Scint._ Their tongues, haply, are dipp’d to the root in amorous words and sweet discourses, but I think their hearts are scarce tipp’d on (10) the side with constant desires.

_Dar._ How say you, Favilla, is not love a lurcher,[22] that taketh men’s stomachs away that they cannot eat, their spleen that they cannot laugh, their hearts that they cannot fight, (15) their eyes that they cannot sleep, and leaveth nothing but livers to make nothing but lovers!

_Favil._ Away, peevish boy; a rod were better under thy girdle than love in thy mouth! It will be a forward cock that croweth in the 20 shell.

_Dar._ Alas, good old gentlewoman, how it becometh you to be grave!

_Scint._ Favilla, though she be but a spark, yet is she fire. 25

_Favil._ And you, Scintilla, be not much more than a spark, though you would be esteemed a flame.

_Sam._ [_Aside to Dares._] It were good sport to see the fight between two sparks. 30

_Dar._ [_Aside to Samias._] Let them to it, and we will warm us by their words.

_Scint._ You are not angry, Favilla?

_Favil._ That is, Scintilla, as you list to take it. 35

_Sam._ That, that!

_Scint._ This it is to be matched with girls, who coming but yesterday from making of babies,[23] would before to-morrow be accounted matrons.

_Favil._ I cry your matronship mercy. Because (40) your pantables[24] be higher with cork, therefore your feet must needs be higher in the insteps. You will be mine elder because you stand upon a stool and I on the floor.

_Sam._ Good, good! 45

_Dar._ [_To Samias._] Let them alone, and see with what countenance they will become friends.

_Scint._ Nay, you think to be the wiser, because you mean to have the last word. 50

_Sam._ [_To Dares._] Step between them lest they scratch.—In faith, gentlewomen, seeing we came out to be merry, let not your jarring mar our jests; be friends. How say you?

_Scint._ I am not angry, but it spited me to (55) see how short she was.

_Favil._ I meant nothing till she would needs cross me.

_Dar._ Then, so let it rest.

_Scint._ I am agreed. 60

_Favil._ And I. Yet I never took anything so unkindly in my life. [_Weeps._]

_Scint._ ’Tis I have the cause, that never offered the occasion. [_Weeps._]

_Dar._ Excellent, and right like a woman. 65

_Sam._ A strange sight to see water come out of fire.

_Dar._ It is their property to carry in their eyes fire and water, tears and torches, and in their mouths honey and gall. 70

_Enter_ [_at the opposite side_] SIR TOPHAS [_and_ EPITON].

_Scint._ You will be a good one if you live. But what is yonder formal fellow?

_Dar._ Sir Tophas, Sir Tophas, of whom we told you. If you be good wenches, make as though you love him, and wonder at him. 75

_Favil._ We will do our parts.

_Dar._ But first let us stand aside, and let him use his garb,[25] for all consisteth in his gracing. [_The four retire._]

_Top._ Epi!

_Epi._ At hand, sir. 80

_Top._ How likest thou this martial life, where nothing but blood besprinkleth our bosoms? Let me see, be our enemies[26] fat?

_Epi._ Passing fat: and I would not change this life to be a lord; and yourself passeth all (85) comparison, for other captains kill and beat, and there is nothing you kill, but you also eat.

_Top._ I will draw out their guts out of their bellies, and tear the flesh with my teeth, so mortal is my hate, and so eager my 90 unstaunched stomach.

_Epi._ [_Aside._] My master thinks himself the valiantest man in the world if he kill a wren; so warlike a thing he accounteth to take away life, though it be from a lark. 95

_Top._ Epi, I find my thoughts to swell and my spirit to take wings, insomuch that I cannot continue within the compass of so slender combats.

_Favil._ This passeth! } 100 _Scint._ Why, is he not mad? } [_Aside._] _Sam._ No, but a little vainglorious.}

_Top._ Epi!

_Epi._ Sir.

_Top._ I will encounter that black and cruel (105) enemy that beareth rough and untewed[27] locks upon his body, whose sire throweth down the strongest walls, whose legs are as many as both ours, on whose head are placed most horrible horns by nature as a defence from all harms. 110

_Epi._ What mean you, master, to be so desperate?

_Top._ Honour inciteth me, and very hunger compelleth me.

_Epi._ What is that monster? 115

_Top._ The monster _Ovis_. I have said,—let thy wits work.

_Epi._ I cannot imagine it. Yet let me see,—a “black enemy” with “rough locks.” It may be a sheep, and _Ovis_ is a sheep. His sire so (120) strong: a ram is a sheep’s sire, that being also an engine of war. Horns he hath, and four legs,—so hath a sheep. Without doubt, this monster is a black sheep. Is it not a sheep that you mean? 125

_Top._ Thou hast hit it: that monster will I kill and sup with.

_Sam._ [_Aside._] Come let us take him off. [SAMIAS, DARES, FAVILLA, _and_ SCINTILLA _come forward_.] Sir Tophas, all hail! 130

_Top._ Welcome, children; I seldom cast mine eyes so low as to the crowns of your heads, and therefore pardon me that I spake not all this while.

_Dar._ No harm done. Here be fair ladies (135) come to wonder at your person, your valour, your wit, the report whereof hath made them careless of their own honours, to glut their eyes and hearts upon yours.

_Top._ Report cannot but injure me, for that (140) not knowing fully what I am, I fear she hath been a niggard in her praises.

_Scint._ No, gentle knight, report hath been prodigal, for she hath left you no equal, nor herself credit, so much hath she told, yet no (145) more than we now see.

_Dar._ A good wench.

_Favil._ If there remain as much pity toward women as there is in you courage against your enemies, then shall we be happy, who, 150 hearing of your person, came to see it, and seeing it, are now in love with it.

_Top._ Love me, ladies? I easily believe it, but my tough heart receiveth no impression with sweet words. Mars may pierce it, 155 Venus shall not paint on it.

_Favil._ A cruel saying.

_Sam._ [_Aside._] There’s a girl.

_Dar._ Will you cast these ladies away, and all for a little love? Do but speak kindly. 160

_Top._ There cometh no soft syllable within my lips; custom hath made my words bloody and my heart barbarous. That pelting[28] word love, how waterish it is in my mouth; it carrieth no sound. Hate, horror, death, are (165) speeches that nourish my spirits. I like honey, but I care not for the bees; I delight in music, but I love not to play on the bagpipes; I can vouchsafe to hear the voice of women, but to touch their bodies, I disdain it as a (170) thing childish and fit for such men as can digest nothing but milk.

_Scint._ A hard heart! Shall we die for your love and find no remedy?

_Top._ I have already taken a surfeit. 175

_Epi._ Good master, pity them.

_Top._ Pity them, Epi? No, I do not think that this breast shall be pest’red with such a foolish passion. What is that the gentlewoman carrieth in a chain? 180

_Epi._ Why, it is a squirrel.

_Top._ A squirrel? O gods, what things are made for money!

_Dar._ Is not this gentleman over-wise?

_Favil._ I could stay all day with him, if (185) I feared not to be shent.[29]

_Scint._ Is it not possible to meet again?

_Dar._ Yes, at any time.

_Favil._ Then let us hasten home.

_Scint._ Sir Tophas, the god of war deal (190) better with you than you do with the god of love.

_Favil._ Our love we may dissemble, digest we cannot; but I doubt not but time will hamper you and help us. 195

_Top._ I defy time, who hath no interest in my heart. Come, Epi, let me to the battle with that hideous beast. Love is pap, and hath no relish in my taste because it is not terrible.

[_Exeunt_ SIR TOPHAS _and_ EPITON.]

_Dar._ Indeed a black sheep is a perilous (200) beast; but let us in till another time.

_Favil._ I shall long for that time. _Exeunt._