SCENE II.[4068

[_Enter_] OVERREACH, GREEDY, _and_ MARRALL.

_Over._ Spare for no cost; let my dressers crack with the weight Of curious viands.

_Greedy._ “Store indeed ’s no sore,” sir.

_Over._ That proverb fits your stomach, Master Greedy. And let no plate be seen but what ’s pure gold, Or such whose workmanship exceeds the matter 5 That it is made of; let my choicest linen Perfume the room, and, when we wash, the water, With precious powders mix’d, so please my lord That he may with envy wish to bathe so ever.

_Mar._ ’T will be very chargeable.

_Over._ Avaunt, you drudge! 10 Now all my labour’d ends are at the stake, Is ’t a time to think of thrift? Call in my daughter. [_Exit_ MARRALL.] And, Master Justice, since you love choice dishes, And plenty of ’em——

_Greedy._ As I do, indeed, sir, Almost as much as to give thanks for ’em. 15

_Over._ I do confer that providence,[4069] with my power Of absolute command to have abundance, To your best care.

_Greedy._ I ’ll punctually discharge it, And give the best directions. Now am I, In mine own conceit, a monarch; at the least, Arch-president of the boil’d, the roast, the bak’d; 21 For which I will eat often, and give thanks When my belly ’s brac’d up like a drum, and that ’s pure justice. _Exit._

_Over._ It must be so. Should the foolish girl prove modest, She may spoil all; she had it not from me, 25 But from her mother: I was ever forward, As she must be, and therefore I ’ll prepare her. [_Enter_] MARGARET. Alone—and let your women wait without.

_Marg._ Your pleasure, sir?

_Over._ Ha! this is a neat dressing! These orient pearls and diamonds well plac’d too! 30 The gown affects me not, it should have been Embroider’d o’er and o’er with flowers of gold; But these rich jewels and quaint fashion help it. And how below? since oft the wanton eye The face observ’d, descends unto the foot, 35 Which being well proportion’d, as yours is, Invites as much as perfect white and red, Though without art. How like you your new woman, The Lady Downfall’n?

_Marg._ Well, for a companion; Not as a servant.

_Over._ Is she humble, Meg, 40 And careful too, her ladyship forgotten?

_Marg._ I pity her fortune.

_Over._ Pity her! trample on her. I took her up in an old tamin[4070] gown, (Even starv’d for want of twopenny chops,) to serve thee; And if I understand she but repines 45 To do thee any duty, though ne’er so servile, I ’ll pack her to her knight, where I have lodg’d him, Into the Counter[4071] and there let ’em howl together.

_Marg._ You know your own ways; but for me, I blush When I command her, that was once attended With persons not inferior to myself 51 In birth.

_Over._ In birth! why, art thou not my daughter, The blest child of my industry and wealth? Why, foolish girl, was ’t not to make thee great That I have run, and still pursue, those ways 55 That hale down curses on me, which I mind not? Part with these humble thoughts, and apt[4072] thyself To the noble state I labour to advance thee; Or, by my hopes to see thee honourable, I will adopt a stranger to my heir, 60 And throw thee from my care. Do not provoke me.

_Marg._ I will not, sir; mould me which way you please.

_Re-enter_ GREEDY.

_Over._ How! Interrupted!

_Greedy._ ’T is matter of importance. The cook, sir, is self-will’d, and will not learn From my experience. There ’s a fawn brought in, sir, 65 And, for my life, I cannot make him roast it With a Norfolk dumpling in the belly of it; And, sir, we wise men know, without the dumpling ’T is not worth three-pence.

_Over._ Would it were whole in thy belly, To stuff it out! Cook it any way; prithee, leave me. 70

_Greedy._ Without order for the dumpling?

_Over._ Let it be dumpl’d Which way thou wilt; or tell him, I will scald him In his own caldron.

_Greedy._ I had lost my stomach Had I lost my mistress dumpling; I ’ll give thanks for ’t. [_Exit._]

_Over._ But to our business, Meg; you have heard who dines here? 75

_Marg._ I have, sir.

_Over._ ’T is an honourable man; A lord, Meg, and commands a regiment Of soldiers, and, what ’s rare, is one himself, A bold and understanding one; and to be A lord and a good leader, in one volume, 80 Is granted unto few but such as rise up The kingdom’s glory.

_Re-enter_ GREEDY.

_Greedy._ I ’ll resign my office, If I be not better obey’d.

_Over._ ’Slight, art thou frantic?

_Greedy._ Frantic! ’T would make me frantic and stark mad, Were I not a justice of peace and quorum too, Which this rebellions cook cares not a straw for. 86 There are a dozen of woodcocks——

_Over._ Make thyself Thirteen, the baker’s dozen.

_Greedy._ I am contented, So they may be dress’d to my mind; he has found out A new device for sauce, and will not dish ’em With toasts and butter. My father was a tailor, 91 And my name, though a justice, Greedy Woodcock; And, ere I ’ll see my lineage so abus’d, I ’ll give up my commission.

_Over._ [_loudly._] Cook!—Rogue, obey him! I have given the word, pray you now remove yourself 95 To a collar of brawn,[4073] and trouble me no further.

_Greedy._ I will, and meditate what to eat at dinner. _Exit._

_Over._ And as I said, Meg, when this gull[4074] disturb’d us, This honourable lord, this colonel, I would have thy husband.

_Marg._ There ’s too much disparity 100 Between his quality and mine, to hope it.

_Over._ I more than hope’t, and doubt not to effect it. Be thou no enemy to thyself, my wealth Shall weight his titles down, and make you equals. Now for the means to assure him thine, observe me: 105 Remember he ’s a courtier and a soldier, And not to be trifled with; and, therefore, when He comes to woo you, see you do not coy it: This mincing modesty has spoil’d many a match By a first refusal, in vain after hop’d for. 110

_Marg._ You ’ll have me, sir, preserve the distance that Confines a virgin?

_Over._ Virgin me no virgins! I must have you lose that name, or you lose me. I will have you private—start not—I say, private; If thou art my true daughter, not a bastard, 115 Thou wilt venture alone with one man, though he came Like Jupiter to Semele, and come off, too; And therefore, when he kisses you, kiss close.

_Marg._ I have heard this is the strumpet’s fashion, sir, Which I must never learn.

_Over._ Learn any thing, 120 And from any creature that may make thee great; From the devil himself.

_Marg._ [_Aside._] This is but devilish doctrine!

_Over._ Or, if his blood grow hot, suppose he offer Beyond this, do not you stay till it cool, But meet his ardour; if a couch be near, 125 Sit down on ’t, and invite him.

_Marg._ In your house, Your own house, sir! For Heaven’s sake, what are you then? Or what shall I be, sir?

_Over._ Stand not on form; Words are no substances.

_Marg._ Though you could dispense With your own honour, cast aside religion, 130 The hopes of Heaven, or fear of hell, excuse me, In worldly policy this is not the way To make me his wife; his whore, I grant it may do. My maiden honour so soon yielded up, Nay, prostituted, cannot but assure him 135 I, that am light to him, will not hold weight Whene’er[4075] tempted by others; so, in judgment, When to his lust I have given up my honour, He must and will forsake me.

_Over._ How! forsake thee! Do I wear a sword for fashion? or is this arm Shrunk up or wither’d? Does there live a man 141 Of that large list I have encounter’d with Can truly say I e’er gave inch of ground Not purchas’d with his blood that did oppose me? Forsake thee when the thing is done! He dares not. 145 Give me but proof he has enjoy’d thy person, Though all his captains, echoes to his will, Stood arm’d by his side to justify the wrong, And he himself in the head of his bold troop, Spite of his lordship, and his colonelship, 150 Or the judge’s favour, I will make him render A bloody and a strict account, and force him, By marrying thee, to cure thy wounded honour! I have said it.

_Re-enter_ MARRALL.

_Mar._ Sir, the man of honour ’s come, Newly alighted.

_Over._ In, without reply. 155 And do as I command, or thou art lost. _Exit_ MARGARET. Is the loud music I gave order for Ready to receive him?

_Mar._ ’T is, sir.

_Over._ Let ’em sound A princely welcome. [_Exit_ MARRALL.] Roughness awhile leave me; For fawning now, a stranger to my nature, 160 Must make way for me.

_Loud music_. _Enter_ LORD LOVELL, GREEDY, ALLWORTH, _and_ MARRALL.

_Lov._ Sir, you meet your trouble.

_Over._ What you are pleas’d to style so is an honour Above my worth and fortunes.

_All._ [_Aside._] Strange, so humble.

_Over._ A justice of peace, my lord. _Presents_ GREEDY _to him._

_Lov._ Your hand, good sir.

_Greedy._ [_Aside._] This is a lord, and some think this a favour; 165 But I had rather have my hand in my dumpling.

_Over._ Room for my lord.

_Lov._ I miss, sir, your fair daughter To crown my welcome.

_Over._ May it please my lord To taste a glass of Greek wine first, and suddenly She shall attend my lord.

_Lov._ You ’ll be obey’d, sir. _Exeunt all but_ OVERREACH. 170

_Over._ ’T is to my wish: as soon as come, ask for her! Why, Meg! Meg Overreach.— [_Re-enter_ MARGARET.] How! tears in your eyes! Hah! dry ’em quickly, or I ’ll dig ’em out. Is this a time to whimper? Meet that greatness That flies into thy bosom, think what ’t is 175 For me to say, “My honourable daughter;” And thou, when I stand bare, to say, “Put on;” Or, “Father, you forget yourself.” No more: But be instructed, or expect——He comes. _Re-enter_ LORD LOVELL, Greedy, ALLWORTH, _and_ MARRALL. A black-brow’d girl, my lord,

_Lov._ As I live, a rare one. _They salute._ 180

_All._ [_Aside._] He ’s took already: I am lost.

_Over._ [_Aside._] That kiss Came twanging off, I like it.—Quit the room. [_Exeunt all but_ OVERREACH, LOVELL, _and_ MARGARET.] A little bashful, my good lord, but you, I hope, will teach her boldness.

_Lov._ I am happy In such a scholar: but——

_Over._ I am past learning, 185 And therefore leave you to yourselves.—Remember! _Aside to_ MARGARET _and exit._

_Lov._ You see, fair lady, your father is solicitous To have you change the barren name of virgin Into a hopeful wife.

_Marg._ His haste, my lord, Holds no power o’er my will.

_Lov._ But o’er your duty. 190

_Marg._ Which forc’d too much, may break.

_Lov._ Bend rather, sweetest: Think of your years.

_Marg._ Too few to match with yours: And choicest fruits too soon pluck’d, rot and wither.

_Lov._ Do you think I am old?

_Marg._ I am sure I am too young.

_Lov._ I can advance you.

_Marg._ To a hill of sorrow, 195 Where every hour I may expect to fall, But never hope firm footing. You are noble, I of a low descent, however rich; And tissues match’d with scarlet[4076] suit but ill. O, my good lord. I could say more, but that 200 I dare not trust these walls.

_Lov._ Pray you, trust my ear then.

_Re-enter_ OVERREACH [_behind_], _listening_.

_Over._ Close at it! whispering! this is excellent! And, by their postures, a consent on both parts.

_Re-enter_ GREEDY _behind._

_Greedy._ Sir Giles, Sir Giles!

_Over._ The great fiend stop that clapper!

_Greedy._ It must ring out, sir, when my belly rings noon. 205 The bak’d-meats are run out, the roasts turn’d powder.

_Over._ I shall powder you.

_Greedy._ Beat me to dust, I care not; In such a cause as this, I’ll die a martyr.

_Over._ Marry, and shall, you barathrum[4077] of the shambles! _Strikes him._

_Greedy._ How! strike a justice of peace! ’T is petty treason. 210 _Edwardi quinto:_ but that you are my friend, I would commit you without bail or main-prize.[4078]

_Over._ Leave your bawling, sir, or I shall commit you Where you shall not dine to-day. Disturb my lord, When he is in discourse!

_Greedy._ Is ’t a time to talk 215 When we should be munching!

_Lov._ Hah! I heard some noise.

_Over._ Mum, villain; vanish! Shall we break a bargain Almost made up? _Thrusts_ GREEDY _off_.

_Lov._ Lady, I understand you. And rest most happy in your choice, believe it; I ’ll be a careful pilot to direct 220 Your yet uncertain bark to a port of safety.

_Marg._ So shall your honour save two lives, and bind us Your slaves for ever.

_Lov._ I am in the act rewarded, Since it is good; howe’er, you must put on An amorous carriage towards me to delude 225 Your subtle father.

_Marg._ I am prone to that.

_Lov._ Now break we off our conference.—Sir Giles! Where is Sir Giles? [OVERREACH _comes forward._]

_Re-enter_ ALLWORTH, MARRALL, _and_ GREEDY.

_Over._ My noble lord; and how Does your lordship find her?

_Lov._ Apt, Sir Giles, and coming; And I like her the better.

_Over._ So do I too. 230

_Love._ Yet should we take forts at the first assault, ’T were poor in the defendant; I must confirm her With a love-letter or two, which I must have Deliver’d by my page, and you give way to ’t.

_Over._ With all my soul:—a towardly gentleman! 235 Your hand, good Master Allworth: know my house Is ever open to you.

_All._ (_Aside._) ’T was shut till now.

_Over._ Well done, well done, my honourable daughter! Thou ’rt so already. Know this gentle youth, And cherish him, my honourable daughter. 240

_Marg._ I shall, with my best care. _Noise within, as of a coach._

_Over._ A coach!

_Greedy._ More stops Before we go to dinner! O my guts!

_Enter_ LADY ALLWORTH _and_ WELLBORN.

_L. All._ If I find welcome, You share in it; if not, I ’ll back again, Now I know your ends; for I come arm’d for all Can be objected.

_Lov._ How! the Lady Allworth! 245

_Over._ And thus attended! LOVELL _salutes_ LADY ALLWORTH, LADY ALLWORTH _salutes_ MARGARET.

_Mar._ No, “I am a dolt! The spirit of lies had ent’red me!”

_Over._ Peace, Patch;[4079] ’T is more than wonder! an astonishment That does possess me wholly!

_Lov._ Noble lady, This is a favour, to prevent[4080] my visit, 250 The service of my life can never equal.

_L. All._ My lord, I laid wait for you, and much hop’d You would have made my poor house your first inn: And therefore doubting that you might forget me, Or too long dwell here, having such ample cause, 255 In this unequall’d beauty, for your stay, And fearing to trust any but myself With the relation of my service to you, I borrow’d so much from my long restraint And took the air in person to invite you. 260

_Lov._ Your bounties are so great, they rob me, madam, Of words to give you thanks.

_L. All._ Good Sir Giles Overreach. _Salutes him._ —How dost thou, Marrall? Lik’d you my meat so ill, You ’ll dine no more with me?

_Greedy._ I will, when you please, 264 An it like[4081] your ladyship.

_L. All._ When you please, Master Greedy; If meat can do it, you shall be satisfied. And now, my lord, pray take into your knowledge This gentleman; howe’er his outside ’s coarse, _Presents_ WELLBORN. His inward linings are as fine and fair 269 As any man’s; wonder not I speak at large: And howsoe’er his humour carries him To be thus accoutred, or what taint soever, For his wild life, hath stuck upon his fame, He may ere long, with boldness, rank himself With some that have contemn’d him. Sir Giles Overreach, 275 If I am welcome, bid him so.

_Over._ My nephew! He has been too long a stranger. Faith you have, Pray let it be mended. LOVELL _confers aside with_ WELLBORN.

_Mar._ Why, sir, what do you mean? This is “rogue Wellborn, monster, prodigy, That should hang or drown himself;” no man of worship, 280 Much less your nephew.

_Over._ Well, sirrah, we shall reckon For this hereafter.

_Mar._ I ’ll not lose my jeer, Though I be beaten dead for ’t.

_Well._ Let my silence plead In my excuse, my lord, till better leisure Offer itself to hear a full relation 285 Of my poor fortunes.

_Lov._ I would hear, and help ’em.

_Over._ Your dinner waits you.

_Lov._ Pray you lead, we follow.

_L. All._ Nay, you are my guest; come, dear Master Wellborn. _Exeunt all but_ GREEDY.

_Greedy._ “Dear Master Wellborn!” so she said: Heaven! Heaven! If my belly would give me leave, I could ruminate 290 All day on this. I have granted twenty warrants To have him committed, from all prisons in the shire, To Nottingham gaol; and now “Dear Master Wellborn!” And, “My good nephew!”—but I play the fool 294 To stand here prating, and forget my dinner. _Re-enter_ MARRALL. Are they set, Marrall?

_Mar._ Long since; pray you a word, sir.

_Greedy._ No wording now.

_Mar._ In troth, I must. My master, Knowing you are his good friend, makes bold with you, And does entreat you, more guests being come in Than he expected, especially his nephew, 300 The table being full too, you would excuse him, And sup with him on the cold meat.

_Greedy._ How! No dinner, After all my care?

_Mar._ ’T is but a penance for A meal; besides, you broke your fast.

_Greedy._ That was But a bit to stay my stomach. A man in commission 305 Give place to a tatterdemalion!

_Mar._ No bug[4082] words, sir; Should his worship hear you——

_Greedy._ Lose my dumpling too, And butter’d toasts, and woodcocks!

_Mar._ Come, have patience. If you will dispense a little with your worship, And sit with the waiting women, you ’ll have dumpling, 310 Woodcock, and butter’d toasts too.

_Greedy._ This revives me: I will gorge there sufficiently.

_Mar._ This is the way, sir. _Exeunt._