SCENE III.[3520

_Enter_ LA CASTRE, NANTOLET, LUGIER, ROSALURA, _and_ LILLIA BIANCA.

_La Cast._ You and your beauteous daughters are most welcome. Beshrew my blood, they are fair ones!—Welcome beauties, Welcome, sweet birds.

_Nant._ They are bound much to your courtesies.

_La Cast._ I hope we shall be nearer acquainted.

_Nant._ That’s my hope too: 5 For, certain, sir, I much desire your alliance. You see ’em; they are no gypsies. For their breeding, It has not been so coarse but they are able To rank themselves with women of fair fashion; Indeed, they have been trained well.

_Lug._ Thank me. 10

_Nant._ Fit for the heirs of that state I shall leave ’em: To say more, is to sell ’em. They say your son, Now he has travell’d, must be wondrous curious And choice in what he takes; these are no coarse ones. Sir, here’s a merry wench—let him look to himself— 15 All heart, i’ faith—may chance to startle him; For all his care, and travell’d caution, May creep into his eye. If he love gravity, Affect a solemn face, there’s one will fit him.

_La Cast._ So young and so demure?

_Nant._ She is my daughter, 20 Else I would tell you, sir, she is a mistress Both of those manners and that modesty You would wonder at. She is no often-speaker, But, when she does, she speaks well; nor no reveller, Yet she can dance, and has studied the court elements, 25 And sings, as some say, handsomely; if a woman, With the decency of her sex, may be a scholar, I can assure ye, sir, she understands too.

_La Cast._ These are fit garments, sir.

_Lug._ Thank them that cut ’em. Yes, they are handsome women; they have handsome parts too, 30 Pretty becoming parts.

_La Cast._ ’Tis like they have, sir.

_Lug._ Yes, yes, and handsome education they have had too, Had it abundantly; they need not blush at it. I taught it, I’ll avouch it.

_La Cast._ Ye say well, sir.

_Lug._ I know what I say, sir, and I say but right, sir. 35 I am no trumpet of their commendations Before their father; else I should say farther.

_La Cast._ Pray ye, what’s this gentleman?

_Nant._ One that lives with me, sir; A man well bred and learn’d, but blunt and bitter; Yet it offends no wise man; I take pleasure in ’t. 40 Many fair gifts he has, in some of which, That lie most easy to their understandings, H’as handsomely bred up my girls, I thank him.

[_Lug._] I have put it to ’em, that ’s my part, I have urg’d it. It seems, they are of years now to take hold on ’t. 45

_Nant._ He ’s wondrous blunt.

_La Cast._ By my faith, I was afraid of him. Does he not fall out with the gentlewomen sometimes?

_Nant._ No, no; he ’s that way moderate and discreet, sir.

_Ros._ If he did, we should be too hard for him.

_Lug._ Well said, sulphur! 50 Too hard for thy husband’s head, if he wear not armour.

_Enter_ MIRABEL, PINAC, BELLEUR, DE GARD, _and_ ORIANA.

_Nant._ Many of these bickerings, sir.

_La Cast._ I am glad they are no oracles. Sure as I live, he beats them, he ’s so puissant.

_Ori._ Well, if ye do forget——

_Mir._ Prithee, hold thy peace. 55 I know thou art a pretty wench; I know thou lov’st me; Preserve it till we have a fit time to discourse on ’t, And a fit place. I’ll ease thy heart, I warrant thee. Thou seest I have much to do now.

_Ori._ I am answer’d, sir: With me ye shall have nothing on these conditions. 60

_De Gard._ Your father and your friends.

_La Cast._ You are welcome home, sir; Bless ye, ye are very welcome! Pray, know this gentleman, And these fair ladies.

_Nant._ Monsieur Mirabel, I am much affected with your fair return, sir; You bring a general joy.

_Mir._ I bring you service, 65 And these bright beauties, sir.

_Nant._ Welcome home, gentlemen, Welcome with all my heart!

_Bel. & Pin._ We thank ye, sir.

_La Cast._ Your friends will have their share too.

_Bel._ Sir, we hope They ’ll look upon us, though we show like strangers.

_Nant._ Monsieur De Gard, I must salute you also, 70 And this fair gentlewoman; you are welcome from your travel too. All welcome, all.

_De Gard._ We render ye our loves, sir. The best wealth we bring home.—By your favours, beauties.— [_Aside to Ori._] One of these two: you know my meaning.

_Ori._ Well, sir; They are fair and handsome, I must needs confess it, 75 And, let it prove the worst, I shall live after it. Whilst I have meat and drink, love cannot starve me; For, if I die o’ th’ first fit, I am unhappy, And worthy to be buried with my heels upward.

_Mir._ To marry, sir?

_La Cast._ You know I am an old man, 80 And every hour declining to my grave, One foot already in; more sons I have not, Nor more I dare not seek whilst you are worthy. In you lies all my hope, and all my name, The making good or wretched of my memory, 85 The safety of my state.

_Mir._ And you have provided, Out of this tenderness, these handsome gentlewomen, Daughters to this rich man, to take my choice of?

_La Cast._ I have, dear son.

_Mir._ ’T is true, ye are old and feebled; Would ye were young again, and in full vigour! 90 I love a bounteous father’s life, a long one: I am none of those that, when they shoot to ripeness, Do what they can to break the boughs they grew on. I wish ye many years and many riches, And pleasures to enjoy ’em; but, for marriage, 95 I neither yet believe in ’t, nor affect[3521] it; Nor think it fit.

_La Cast._ You will render me your reasons?

_Mir._ Yes, sir, both short and pithy, and these they are:— You would have me marry a maid?

_La Cast._ A maid! what else?

_Mir._ Yes, there be things called widows, dead men’s wills, 100 I never lov’d to prove those; nor never long’d yet To be buried alive in another man’s cold monument. And there be maids appearing, and maids being: The appearing are fantastic things, mere shadows; And, if you mark ’em well, they want their heads, too; 105 Only the world, to cozen[3522] misty eyes, Has clapt ’em on new faces: the maids being A man may venture on, if he be so mad to marry, If he have neither fear before his eyes, nor fortune; And let him take heed how he gather these too; 110 For, look ye, father, they are just like melons, Musk-melons are the emblems of these maids; Now they are ripe, now cut ’em, they taste pleasantly, And are a dainty fruit, digested easily; Neglect this present time, and come to-morrow, 115 They are so ripe they are rotten gone, their sweetness Run into humour, and their taste to surfeit.

_La Cast._ Why, these are now ripe, son.

_Mir._ I ’ll try them presently, And, if I like their taste——

_La Cast._ ’Pray ye, please yourself, sir.

_Mir._ That liberty is my due, and I ’ll maintain it.— 120 Lady, what think you of a handsome man now?

_Ros._ A wholesome too, sir?

_Mir._ That’s as you make your bargain. A handsome, wholesome man, then, and a kind man, To cheer your heart up, to rejoice ye, lady?

_Ros._ Yes, sir, I love rejoicing.

_Mir._ To lie close to ye? 125 Close as a cockle? Keep the cold nights from ye?

_Ros._ That will be look’d for too; our bodies ask it.

_Mir._ And get two boys at every birth?

_Ros._ That’s nothing? I have known a cobbler do it, a poor thin cobbler, A cobbler out of mouldy cheese perform it, 130 Cabbage, and coarse black bread. Methinks, a gentleman Should take foul scorn to have an awl out-name[3523] him. Two at a birth! Why, every house-dove has it. That man that feeds well, promises as well too, I should expect indeed something of worth from. 135 You talk of two!

_Mir._ [_Aside._] She would have me get two dozen. Like buttons, at a birth.

_Ros._ You love to brag, sir. If you proclaim these offers at your marriage, (Ye are a pretty-timber’d man, take heed.) They may be taken hold of, and expected, 140 Yes, if not hoped for at a higher rate too.

_Mir._ I will take heed, and thank ye for your counsel. Father, what think ye?

_La Cast._ ’T is a merry gentlewoman; Will make, no doubt, a good wife.

_Mir._ Not for me. I marry her, and, happily,[3524] get nothing: 145 In what a state am I then, father? I shall suffer. For any thing I hear to the contrary, _more majorum_; I were as sure to be a cuckold, father, A gentleman of antler——

_La Cast._ Away, away, fool!

_Mir._ As I am sure to fail her expectation. 150 I had rather get the pox than get her babies.

_La Cast._ Ye are much to blame. If this do not affect[3525] ye, Pray, try the other; she ’s of a more demure way.

_Bel._ [_Aside._] That I had but the audacity to talk thus! I love that plain-spoken gentlewoman admirably; 155 And, certain, I could go as near to please her, If down-right doing—she has a per’lous countenance— If I could meet one that would believe me, And take my honest meaning without circumstance——

_Mir._ You shall have your will, sir; I will try the other; 160 But ’t will be to small use.—I hope, fair lady, (For, methinks, in your eyes I see more mercy,) You will enjoin your lover a less penance; And though I ’ll promise much, as men are liberal, And vow an ample sacrifice of service, 165 Yet your discretion, and your tenderness, And thriftiness in love, good huswife’s carefulness To keep the stock entire——

_Lil._ Good sir, speak louder. That these may witness, too, you talk of nothing. I should be loth alone to bear the burden 170 Of so much indiscretion.

_Mir._ Hark ye, hark ye! ’Ods-bobs,[3526] you are angry, lady.

_Lil._ Angry! no, sir; I never own’d an anger to lose poorly.

_Mir._ But you can love, for all this; and delight too. For all your set austerity to hear 175 Of a good husband, lady?

_Lil._ You say true, sir; For, by my troth, I have heard of none these ten year, They are so rare; and there are so many, sir, So many longing women on their knees too, That pray the dropping-down of these good husbands— 180 The dropping-down from Heaven; for they are not bred here— That you may guess at all my hope, but hearing——

_Mir._ Why may not I be one?

_Lil._ You were near ’em once, sir. When ye came o’er the Alps; those are near Heaven. But since ye miss’d that happiness, there’s no hope of ye. 185

_Mir._ Can ye love a man?

_Lil._ Yes, if the man be lovely, That is, be honest, modest. I would have him valiant, His anger slow, but certain for his honour; Travell’d he should be, but through himself exactly, For ’t is fairer to know manners well than countries. 190 He must be no vain talker, nor no lover To hear himself talk; they are brags of a wanderer, Of one finds no retreat for fair behaviour. Would ye learn more?

_Mir._ Yes.

_Lil._ Learn to hold your peace, then: Fond[3527] girls are got with tongues, women with tempers. 195

_Mir._ Women, with I know what; but let that vanish. Go thy way, good-wife Bias! Sure, thy husband Must have a strong philosopher’s stone, he will ne’er please thee else.— Here ’s a starch’d piece of austerity!—Do you hear, father? Do you hear this moral lecture?

_La Cast._ Yes, and like it. 200

_Mir._ Why, there’s your judgment now; there’s an old bolt shot! This thing must have the strangest observation,[3528] (Do you mark me, father?) when she is married once, The strangest custom too of admiration On all she does and speaks, ’t will be past sufferance. 205 I must not lie with her in common language. Nor cry, “Have at thee, Kate!”—I shall be hiss’d then; Nor eat my meat without the sauce of sentences, Your powder’d beef and problems, a rare diet! My first son, Monsieur Aristotle, I know it, 210 Great master of the metaphysics, or so; The second, Solon, and the best law-setter; And I must look[3529] Egyptian god-fathers, Which will be no small trouble; my eldest daughter, Sappho, or such a fiddling kind of poetess. 215 And brought up, _invita Minerva_, at her needle! My dogs must look their names too, and all Spartan, Lelaps, Melampus; no more Fox and Bawdy-face. I married to a sullen set of sentences! To one that weighs her words and her behaviours 220 In the gold-weights[3530] of discretion! I ’ll be hang’d first.

_La Cast._ Prithee, reclaim thyself.

_Mir._ Pray ye, give me time, then. If they can set me any thing to play at, That seems fit for a gamester, have at the fairest, Till I see more, and try more!

_La Cast._ Take your time, then; 225 I’ll bar ye no fair liberty.—Come, gentlemen; And ladies, come; to all, once more, a welcome! And, now let’s in to supper. [_Exeunt_ LA CASTRE, NANTOLET, LUGIER, ROSALURA, _and_ LILLIA BIANCA.]

_Mir._ How dost like ’em?

_Pin._ They are fair enough, but of so strange behaviours—— 230

_Mir._ Too strange for me. I must have those have mettle. And mettle to my mind. Come, let’s be merry.

_Bel._ Bless me from this woman! I would stand the cannon, Before ten words of hers. [_Exeunt_ MIRABEL, PINAC, _and_ BELLEUR.]

_De Gard._ Do you find him now? Do you think he will be ever firm?

_Ori._ I fear not. [_Exeunt._] 235