SCENE I.[3104

_Enter_ JASPER _and_ Boy.

_Jasp._ There, boy, deliver this; but do it well. Hast thou provided me four lusty fellows, [_Gives a letter_.] Able to carry me? and art thou perfect In all thy business?

_Boy._ Sir, you need not fear; I have my lesson here, and cannot miss it: 5 The men are ready for you, and what else Pertains to this employment.

_Jasp._ There, my boy; Take it, but buy no land. [_Gives money._]

_Boy._ Faith, sir, ’t were rare To see so young a purchaser. I fly, And on my wings carry your destiny. 10

_Jasp._ Go and be happy! [_Exit_ Boy.] Now, my latest hope, Forsake me not, but fling thy anchor out, And let it hold! Stand fixt, thou rolling stone, Till I enjoy my dearest! Hear me, all You powers, that rule in men, celestial! _Exit._ 15

_Wife._ Go thy ways; thou art as crooked a sprig as ever grew in London. I warrant him, he’ll come to some naughty end or other; for his looks say no less: besides, his father (you know, George) is none of the best; you heard (20) him take me up like a flirt-gill,[3105] and sing bawdy songs upon me; but i’ faith, if I live, George——

_Cit._ Let me alone, sweetheart: I have a trick in my head shall lodge him in the Arches[3106] for one year, and make him sing _peccavi_ ere (26) I leave him; and yet he shall never know who hurt him neither.

_Wife._ Do, my good George, do!

_Cit._ What shall we have Ralph do now, (30) boy?

_Boy._ You shall have what you will, sir.

_Cit._ Why, so, sir; go and fetch me him then, and let the Sophy of Persia come and christen him a child.[3107] 35

_Boy._ Believe me, sir, that will not do so well: ’t is stale; it has been had before at the Red Bull.[3108]

_Wife._ George, let Ralph travel over great hills, and let him be very weary, and come (40) to the King of Cracovia’s house, covered with velvet; and there let the king’s daughter stand in her window, all in beaten gold, combing her golden locks with a comb of ivory; and let her spy Ralph, and fall in love with him, and (45) come down to him, and carry him into her father’s house; and then let Ralph talk with her.

_Cit._ Well said, Nell; it shall be so.—Boy, let’s ha ’t done quickly.

_Boy._ Sir, if you will imagine all this to be (50) done already, you shall hear them talk together; but we cannot present a house covered with black velvet, and a lady in beaten gold.

_Cit._ Sir boy, let’s ha ’t as you can, then.

_Boy._ Besides, it will show ill-favouredly (55) to have a grocer’s prentice to court a king’s daughter.

_Cit._ Will it so, sir? You are well read in histories![3109] I pray you, what was Sir Dagonet? Was not he prentice to a grocer in London? (60) Read the play of “The Four Prentices of London,”[3110] where they toss their pikes so. I pray you, fetch him in, sir, fetch him in.

_Boy._ It shall be done.—It is not our fault, gentlemen. _Exit._ 65

_Wife._ Now we shall see fine doings, I warrant ’ee, George.

[SCENE II.][3111]

_Enter the_ Lady [POMPIONA], RALPH, Squire, _and_ Dwarf.

_Wife._ Oh, here they come, how prettily the King of Cracovia’s daughter is drest!

_Cit._ Ay, Nell, it is the fashion of that country, I warrant ’ee.

_Pomp._ Welcome, Sir Knight, unto my father’s court, 5 King of Moldavia: unto me Pompiona, His daughter dear! But, sure, you do not like Your entertainment, that will stay with us No longer but a night.

_Ralph._ Damsel right fair, I am on many sad[3112] adventures bound, 10 That call me forth into the wilderness; Besides, my horse’s back is something gall’d, Which will enforce me ride a sober pace. But many thanks, fair lady, be to you For using errant knight with courtesy! 15

_Pomp._ But say, brave knight, what is your name and birth?

_Ralph._ My name is Ralph; I am an Englishman, As true as steel, a hearty Englishman, And prentice to a grocer in the Strand By deed indent,[3113] of which I have one part: 20 But fortune calling me to follow arms, On me this holy order I did take Of Burning Pestle, which in all men’s eyes I bear, confounding ladies’ enemies.

_Pomp._ Oft have I heard of your brave countrymen, 25 And fertile soil, and store of wholesome food; My father oft will tell me of a drink In England found, and nipitato[3114] call’d, Which driveth all the sorrow from your hearts.

_Ralph._ Lady, ’t is true; you need not lay your lips 30 To better nipitato than there is.

_Pomp._ And of a wild fowl he will often speak, Which powd’red[3115]-beef-and-mustard called is: For there have been great wars ’twixt us and you; But truly, Ralph, it was not ’long of me. 35 Tell me then, Ralph, could you contented be To wear lady’s favour in your shield?

_Ralph._ I am a knight of religious order, And will not wear a favour of a lady 39 That trusts in Antichrist and false traditions.

_Cit._ Well said, Ralph! convert her, if thou canst.

_Ralph._ Besides, I have a lady of my own In merry England, for whose virtuous sake I took these arms; and Susan is her name, 45 A cobbler’s maid in Milk Street; whom I vow Ne’er to forsake whilst life and Pestle last.

_Pomp._ Happy that cobbling dame, whoe’er she be, That for her own, dear Ralph, hath gotten thee! Unhappy I, that ne’er shall see the day 50 To see thee more, that bear’st my heart away!

_Ralph._ Lady, farewell; I needs must take my leave.

_Pomp._ Hard-hearted Ralph, that ladies dost deceive!

_Cit._ Hark thee, Ralph: there’s money for thee [_gives money_]; give something in the King of Cracovia’s house; be not beholding to him. 56

_Ralph._ Lady, before I go, I must remember Your father’s officers, who truth to tell, Have been about me very diligent. Hold up thy snowy hand, thou princely maid! There’s twelve-pence for your father’s chamberlain; 61 And another shilling for his cook, For, by my troth, the goose was roasted well; And twelve-pence for your father’s horse-keeper, For nointing my horse’ back, and for his butter[3116] 65 There is another shilling; to the maid That washt my boot-hose[3117] there ’s an English groat, And two-pence to the boy that wipt my boots; And last, fair lady, there is for yourself Three-pence, to buy you pins at Bumbo Fair.

_Pomp._ Full many thanks; and I will keep them safe 71 Till all the heads be off, for thy sake, Ralph.

_Ralph._ Advance, my squire and dwarf! I cannot stay.

_Pomp._ Thou kill’st my heart in passing thus away. _Exeunt._

_Wife._ I commend Ralph yet, that he will (75) not stoop to a Cracovian; there ’s properer[3118] women in London than any are there, I-wis. But here comes Master Humphrey and his love again now, George.

_Cit._ Ay, cony; peace. 80