The chief Elizabethan dramatists, excluding Shakespeare

SCENE V.[2218

Chapter 1631,450 wordsPublic domain

_Enter the_ LORD MAYOR _and the_ EARL OF LINCOLN.

_L. Mayor._ Believe me, on my credit, I speak truth: Since first your nephew Lacy went to France, I have not seen him. It seem’d strange to me, When Dodger told me that he stay’d behind, Neglecting the high charge the king imposed. 5

_Lincoln._ Trust me, Sir Roger Oateley, I did think Your counsel had given head to this attempt, Drawn to it by the love he bears your child. Here I did hope to find him in your house; But now I see mine error, and confess, 10 My judgment wrong’d you by conceiving so.

_L. Mayor._ Lodge in my house, say you? Trust me, my lord, I love your nephew Lacy too too dearly, So much to wrong his honour; and he hath done so, 14 That first gave him advice to stay from France. To witness I speak truth, I let you know How careful I have been to keep my daughter Free from all conference or speech of him; Not that I scorn your nephew, but in love I bear your honour, lest your noble blood 20 Should by my mean worth be dishonoured.

_Lincoln._ [_Aside._] How far the churl’s tongue wanders from his heart!— Well, well. Sir Roger Oateley, I believe you, With more than many thanks for the kind love So much you seem to bear me. But, my lord, 25 Let me request your help to seek my nephew, Whom if I find, I’ll straight embark for France. So shall your Rose be free, my thoughts at rest, And much care die which now lies in my breast.

_Enter_ SYBIL.

_Sybil._ Oh Lord! Help, for God’s sake! (30) My mistress; oh, my young mistress!

_L. Mayor._ Where is thy mistress? What’s become of her?

_Sybil._ She’s gone, she’s fled!

_L. Mayor._ Gone! Whither is she fled? 35

_Sybil._ I know not, forsooth; she’s fled out of doors with Hans the shoemaker; I saw them scud, scud, scud, apace, apace!

_L. Mayor._ Which way? What, John! Where be my men? Which way? 40

_Sybil._ I know not, an it please your worship.

_L. Mayor._ Fled with a shoemaker? Can this be true?

_Sybil._ Oh Lord, sir, as true as God’s in Heaven.

_Lincoln._ Her love turn’d shoemaker? I am glad of this.

_L. Mayor._ A Fleming butter-box, a shoemaker! 45 Will she forget her birth, requite my care With such ingratitude? Scorn’d she young Hammon To love a honniken,[2219] a needy knave? Well, let her fly, I’ll not fly after her, 49 Let her starve, if she will: she’s none of mine.

_Lincoln._ Be not so cruel, sir.

_Enter_ FIRK _with shoes_.

_Sybil._ I am glad, she’s scapt.

_L. Mayor._ I’ll not account of her as of my child. Was there no better object for her eyes, But a foul drunken lubber, swill-belly, A shoemaker? That’s brave! 50

_Firk._ Yea, forsooth; ’t is a very brave shoe, and as fit as a pudding.

_L. Mayor._ How now, what knave is this? From whence comest thou?

_Firk._ No knave, sir. I am Firk the shoemaker, (55) lusty Roger’s chief lusty journeyman, and I have come hither to take up the pretty leg of sweet Mistress Rose, and thus hoping your worship is in as good health, as I was at the making hereof, I bid you farewell, yours, Firk. 65

_L. Mayor._ Stay, stay. Sir Knave!

_Lincoln._ Come hither, shoemaker!

_Firk._ ’T is happy the knave is put before the shoemaker, or else I would not have vouchsafed (70) to come back to you. I am moved, for I stir.

_L. Mayor._ My lord, this villain calls us knaves by craft.

_Firk._ Then ’t is by the gentle craft, and (75) to call one knave gently, is no harm. Sit your worship merry! Syb, your young mistress—I ’ll so bob[2220] them, now my Master Eyre is lord mayor of London.

_L. Mayor._ Tell me, sirrah, whose man are you? 80

_Firk._ I am glad to see your worship so merry. I have no maw to this gear, no stomach as yet to a red petticoat. _Pointing to_ SYBIL.

_Lincoln._ He means not, sir, to woo you to his maid, 85 But only doth demand whose man you are.

_Firk._ I sing now to the tune of Rogero. Roger, my fellow, is now my master.

_Lincoln._ Sirrah, know’st thou one Hans, a shoemaker? 90

_Firk._ Hans, shoemaker? Oh yes, stay, yes, I have him. I tell you what, I speak it in secret: Mistress Rose and he are by this time—no, not so, but shortly are to come over one another with “Can you dance the shaking of the (95) sheets?” It is that Hans—[_Aside._] I’ll so gull[2220] these diggers![2221]

_L. Mayor._ Know’st thou, then, where he is?

_Firk._ Yes, forsooth; yea, marry!

_Lincoln._ Canst thou, in sadness[2222]—— 100

_Firk._ No, forsooth, no, marry!

_L. Mayor._ Tell me, good honest fellow, where he is, And thou shalt see what I’ll bestow on thee.

_Firk._ Honest fellow? No, sir; not so, sir; my profession is the gentle craft; I care not (105) for seeing, I love feeling; let me feel it here; _aurium tenus_, ten pieces of gold; _genuum tenus_, ten pieces of silver; and then Firk is your man—[_Aside._] in a new pair of stretchers.[2223]

_L. Mayor._ Here is an angel, part of thy reward, 110 Which I will give thee; tell me where he is.

_Firk._ No point. Shall I betray my brother? No! Shall I prove Judas to Hans? No! Shall I cry treason to my corporation? No, I shall be firkt and yerkt then. But give me your (115) angel; your angel shall tell you.

_Lincoln._ Do so, good fellow; ’t is no hurt to thee.

_Firk._ Send simpering Syb away.

_L. Mayor._ Huswife, get you in. 119 _Exit_ SYBIL.

_Firk._ Pitchers have ears, and maids have wide mouths; but for Hans Prauns, upon my word, to-morrow morning he and young Mistress Rose go to this gear, they shall be married together, by this rush, or else turn Firk to a firkin of butter, to tan leather withal. 125

_L. Mayor._ But art thou sure of this?

_Firk._ Am I sure that Paul’s steeple is a handful higher than London Stone,[2224] or that the Pissing-Conduit[2225] leaks nothing but pure (129) Mother Bunch?[2226] Am I sure I am lusty Firk? God’s nails, do you think I am so base to gull you?

_Lincoln._ Where are they married? Dost thou know the church? 134

_Firk._ I never go to church, but I know the name of it; it is a swearing church—stay a while, ’t is—ay, by the mass, no, no,—’t is—ay, by my troth, no, nor that; ’t is—ay, by my faith, that, that, ’t is, ay, by my Faith’s Church under Paul’s Cross. There they shall (140) be knit like a pair of stockings in matrimony; there they’ll be inconie.[2227]

_Lincoln._ Upon my life, my nephew Lacy walks In the disguise of this Dutch shoemaker.

_Firk._ Yes, forsooth. 145

_Lincoln._ Doth he not, honest fellow?

_Firk._ No, forsooth; I think Hans is nobody but Hans, no spirit.

_L. Mayor._ My mind misgives me now, ’t is so, indeed.

_Lincoln._ My cousin speaks the language, knows the trade. 150

_L. Mayor._ Let me request your company, my lord; Your honourable presence may, no doubt, Refrain their headstrong rashness, when myself Going alone perchance may be o’erborne. Shall I request this favour?

_Lincoln._ This, or what else. 155

_Firk._ Then you must rise betimes, for they mean to fall to their hey-pass and repass,[2228] pindy-pandy, which hand will you have, very early.

_L. Mayor._ My care shall every way equal their haste. 160 This night accept your lodging in my house, The earlier shall we stir, and at Saint Faith’s Prevent this giddy hare-brain’d nuptial. This traffic of hot love shall yield cold gains: They ban[2229] our loves, and we’ll forbid their banns. _Exit._ 165

_Lincoln._ At Saint Faith’s Church thou say’st?

_Firk._ Yes, by their troth.

_Lincoln._ Be secret, on thy life. _Exit._

_Firk._ Yes, when I kiss your wife! Ha, ha, here ’s no craft in the gentle craft. I came (170) hither of purpose with shoes to Sir Roger’s worship, whilst Rose, his daughter, be cony-catcht by Hans. Soft now; these two gulls will be at Saint Faith’s Church to-morrow (174) morning, to take Master Bridegroom and Mistress Bride napping, and they, in the mean time, shall chop up the matter at the Savoy. But the best sport is, Sir Roger Oateley will find my fellow lame Ralph’s wife going to (179) marry a gentleman, and then he’ll stop her instead of his daughter. Oh brave! there will be fine tickling sport. Soft now, what have I to do? Oh, I know; now a mess of shoemakers meet at the Woolsack in Ivy Lane, to cozen[2230] my gentleman of lame Ralph’s wife, that’s true. 185 Alack, alack! Girls, hold out tack! For now smocks for this jumbling Shall go to wrack. 190 _Exit._