SCENE IV.[1992

[_Enter_] FACE, KASTRIL, _and_ Dame PLIANT.

[_Face._] Come, lady: I knew the doctor would not leave Till he had found the very nick of her fortune.

_Kas._ To be a conntess, say you?

[_Face._][1993] A Spanish countess, sir.

_Dame P._ Why, is that better than an English countess?

_Face._ Better! ’Slight, make you that a question, lady? 5

_Kas._ Nay, she is a fool, captain, you must pardon her.

_Face._ Ask from your courtier to your inns-of-court-man, To your mere milliner; they will tell you all, Your Spanish jennet is the best horse; your Spanish Stoop is the best garb;[1994] your Spanish beard 10 Is the best cut; your Spanish ruffs are the best Wear; your Spanish pavin the best dance; Your Spanish titillation in a glove The best perfume: and for your Spanish pike, And Spanish blade, let your poor captain speak.— Here comes the doctor.

[_Enter_ SUBTLE _with a paper._]

_Sub._ My most honour’d lady, For so I am now to style you, having found By this my scheme,[1995] you are to undergo An honourable fortune very shortly, 19 What will you say now, if some——

_Face._ I ha’ told her all, sir, And her right worshipful brother here, that she shall be A countess; do not delay ’em, sir; a Spanish countess.

_Sub._ Still, my scarce-worshipful captain, you can keep No secret! Well, since he has told you, madam, Do you forgive him, and I do.

_Kas._ She shall do that, sir; 25 I ’ll look to it; ’t is my charge.

_Sub._ Well then: nought rests But that she fit her love now to her fortune.

_Dame P._ Truly I shall never brook a Spaniard.

_Sub._ No?

_Dame P._ Never sin’ eighty-eight[1996] could I abide ’em, And that was some three years afore I was born, in truth. 30

_Sub._ Come, you must love him, or be miserable; Choose which you will.

_Face._ By this good rush, persuade her, She will cry[1997] strawberries else within this twelve month.

_Sub._ Nay, shads and mackerel, which is worse.

_Face._ Indeed, sir!

_Kas._ God’s lid, you shall love him, or I ’ll kick you.

_Dame P._ Why, 35 I ’ll do as you will ha’ me, brother.

_Kas._ Do, Or by this hand I ’ll maul you.

_Face._ Nay, good sir, Be not so fierce.

_Sub._ No, my enraged child; She will be rul’d. What, when she comes to taste The pleasures of a countess! to be courted—— 40

_Face._ And kiss’d and ruffled!

_Sub._ Ay, behind the hangings.

_Face._ And then come forth in pomp!

_Sub._ And know her state!

_Face._ Of keeping all th’ idolators o’ the chamber Barer to her, than at their prayers!

_Sub._ Is serv’d Upon the knee!

_Face._ And has her pages, ushers, 45 Footmen, and coaches——

_Sub._ Her six mares——

_Face._ Nay, eight!

_Sub._ To hurry her through London, to th’ Exchange.[1998] Bet’lem,[1999] the China-houses[2000]——

_Face._ Yes, and have The citizens gape at her, and praise her tires,[2001] And my lord’s goose-turd bands,[2002] that rides with her! 50

_Kas._ Most brave! By this hand, you are not my suster If you refuse.

_Dame P._ I will not refuse, brother.

[_Enter_ SURLY.]

_Sur. Que es esto, senores, que non se venga? Esta tardanza me mata!_[2003]

_Face._ It is the count come: The doctor knew he would be here, by his art.

_Sub. En gallanta, madama, Don! gallantissima!_ 56

_Sur. Por todos los dioses, la mas acabada Hermosura, que he visto en ma vida!_[2004]

_Face._ Is ’t not a gallant language that they speak?

_Kas._ An admirable language! Is ’t not French? 60

_Face._ No, Spanish, sir.

_Kas._ It goes like law French, And that, they say, is the court-liest language.

_Face._ List, sir.

_Sur. El sol ha perdido su lumbre, con el Resplandor que trae esta dana! Valga me dios!_[2005]

_Face._ H’ s your sister.

_Kas._ Must not she make curt’sy. 65

_Sub._ ’Ods will, she must go to him, man, and kiss him! It is the Spanish fashion, for the women To make first court.

_Face._ ’T is true he tells you, sir: His art knows all.

_Sur._ _Porque no se acude?_[2006]

_Kas._ He speaks to her, I think.

_Fact._ That he does, sir. 70

_Sur. Por el amor de dios, que es esto que se tarda?_[2007]

_Kas._ Nay, see: she will not understand him! Gull, Noddy.

_Dame P._ What say you, brother?

_Kas._ Ass, my suster, Go kuss him, as the cunning man would ha’ you; I ’ll thrust a pin i’ your buttocks else.

_Face._ O no, sir. 75

_Sur. Senora mia, mi persona muy indigna esta Allegar a tanta hermosura._[2008]

_Face._ Does he not use her bravely?

_Kas._ Bravely, i’ faith!

_Face._ Nay, he will use her better.

_Kas._ Do you think so?

_Sur. Senora, si sera servida, entremos._[2009] 80 [_Exit with_ Dame PLIANT.]

_Kas._ Where does he carry her?

_Face._ Into the garden, sir; Take you no thought: I must interpret for her.

_Sub._ Give Dol the word. [_Aside to_ FACE, _who goes out_.] —Come, my fierce child, advance, We’ll to our quarreling lesson again.

_Kas._ Agreed. I love a Spanish boy with all my heart. 85

_Sub._ Nay, and by this means, sir, you shall be brother To a great count.

_Kas._ Ay, I knew that at first. This match will advance the house of the Kastrils.

_Sub._ ’Pray God your sister prove but pliant!

_Kas._ Why, Her name is so, by her other husband.

_Sub._ How! 90

_Kas._ The Widow Pliant. Knew you not that?

_Sub._ No, faith, sir; Yet, by the erection of her figure,[2010] I guess’d it. Come, let ’s go practise.

_Kas._ Yes, but do you think, doctor, I e’er shall quarrel well?

_Sub._ I warrant you. [_Exeunt._]