SCENE I.[1846

[_Enter_] SIR EPICURE MAMMON _and_ SURLY.

_Mam._ Come on, sir. Now you set your foot on shore In _Novo Orbe_;[1847] here’s the rich Peru: And there within, sir, are the golden mines, Great Solomon’s Ophir! He was sailing to ’t Three years, but we have reach’d it in ten months. 5 This is the day wherein, to all my friends, I will pronounce the happy word, BE RICH; THIS DAY YOU SHALL BE SPECTATISSIMI.[1848] You shall no more deal with the hollow die, 10 Or the frail card; no more be at charge of keeping The livery-punk[1849] for the young heir, that must Seal, at all hours, in his shirt: no more, If he deny, ha’ him beaten to ’t, as he is That brings him the commodity; no more Shall thirst of satin, or the covetous hunger 15 Of velvet entrails[1850] for a rude-spun cloak, To be display’d at Madam Augusta’s, make The sons of Sword and Hazard fall before The golden calf, and on their knees, whole nights, Commit idolatry with wine and trumpets: 20 Or go a feasting after drum and ensign. No more of this. You shall start up young viceroys, And have your punks and punkettees, my Surly. And unto thee I speak it first, BE RICH. Where is my Subtle there? Within, ho!

[FACE,_ within_.] Sir, 25 He’ll come to you by and by.

_Mam._ That is his fire-drake,[1851] His Lungs, his Zephyrus, he that pulls his coals, Till he firk[1852] nature up, in her own centre. You are not faithful,[1853] sir. This night I’ll change All that is metal in my house to gold: 30 And, early in the morning, will I send To all the plumbers and the pewterers, And buy their tin and lead up; and to Lothbury For all the copper.

_Sur._ What, and turn that, too?

_Mam._ Yes, and I’ll purchase Devonshire and Cornwall, 35 And make them perfect Indies! You admire now?

_Sur._ No, faith.

_Mam._ But when you see th’ effects of the Great Med’cine, Of which one part projected on a hundred Of Mercury, or Venus, or the Moon, 40 Shall turn it to as many of the Sun;[1854] Nay, to a thousand, so _ad infinitum_; You will believe me.

_Sur._ Yes, when I see ’t, I will. But if my eyes do cozen me so, and I Giving ’em no occasion, sure I’ll have 45 A whore, shall piss ’em out next day.

_Mam._ Ha! why? Do you think I fable with you? I assure you, He that has once the flower of the sun, The perfect ruby, which we call elixir, Not only can do that, but by its virtue, 50 Can confer honour, love, respect, long life; Give safety, valour, yea, and victory, To whom he will. In eight and twenty days, I’ll make an old man of fourscore, a child.

_Sur._ No doubt; he’s that already.

_Mam._ Nay, I mean, 55 Restore his years, renew him, like an eagle, To the fifth age; make him get sons and daughters, Young giants; as our philosophers have done, The ancient patriarchs, afore the flood, But taking, once a week, on a knife’s point, 60 The quantity of a grain of mustard of it; Become stout Marses, and beget young Cupids.

_Sur._ The decay’d vestals of Pickt-hatch[1855] would thank you, That keep the fire alive there.

_Mam._ ’T is the secret Of nature naturiz’d ’gainst all infections, 65 Cures all diseases coming of all causes; A month’s grief in a day, a year’s in twelve; And, of what age soever, in a month. Past all the doses of your drugging doctors, I ’ll undertake, withal, to fright the plague 70 Out o’ the kingdom in three months.

_Sur._ And I ’ll Be bound, the players shall sing your praises then, Without their poets.[1856]

_Mam._ Sir, I ’ll do ’t. Meantime, I ’ll give away so much unto my man, Shall serve th’ whole city with preservative 75 Weekly; each house his dose, and at the rate——

_Sur._ As he that built the Water-work does with water?

_Mam._ You are incredulous.

_Sur._ Faith, I have a humour, I would not willingly be gull’d.[1857] Your stone Cannot transmute me.

_Mam._ Pertinax Surly, 80 Will you believe antiquity? Records? I ’ll show you a book where Moses, and his sister, And Solomon have written of the art; Ay, and a treatise penn’d by Adam——

_Sur._ How!

_Mam._ Of the philosopher’s stone, and in High Dutch. 85

_Sur._ Did Adam write, sir, in High Dutch?

_Mam._ He did; Which proves it was the primitive tongue.

_Sur._ What paper?

_Mam._ On cedar board.

_Sur._ O that, indeed, they say, Will last ’gainst worms.

_Mam._ ’T is like your Irish wood ’Gainst cobwebs. I have a piece of Jason’s fleece too, 90 Which was no other than a book of alchemy, Writ in large sheepskin, a good fat ram-vellum. Such was Pythagoras’ thigh, Pandora’s tub, And all that fable of Medea’s charms, 94 The manner of our work; the bulls, our furnace, Still breathing fire; our argent-vive,[1858] the dragon: The dragon’s teeth, mercury sublimate, That keeps the whiteness, hardness, and the biting; And they are gather’d into Jason’s helm, 99 Th’ alembic, and then sow’d in Mars his field, And thence sublim’d so often, till they’re fix’d. Both this, th’ Hesperian garden, Cadmus’ story, Jove’s shower, the boon of Midas, Argus’ eyes, Boccace his Demogorgon,[1859] thousands more, 104 All abstract riddles of our stone.—How now!