Part 18
Nor did the matter end there. The verses were taken to another sister, and were praised by her in turn. My second brother also, who saw them next, declared boldly that they were not mine; or if they were, must have been made up of odds and ends by some unconscious trick of the memory. The answer was easy: I knew no poetry, and therefore the idea of plagiarism had no grounds to rest upon. And this last consideration made my triumph complete. My intellectual being awoke from its long slumber, and sprang at once into conscious life. Poetry became a passion. I read all I could lay my hands upon. I composed and filled volumes with my own lucubrations; my spirit within me yearned under the burden of a thousand new and contending romantic emotions; and while I continued busily my classical studies (for about this time it was settled that I should go to college), I read and wrote much in addition, and was never idle for a single moment.
Still, though the first step had thus been taken in the right direction, much remained to be done. When alone with my books, I felt and enjoyed the freedom I had acquired. I no longer looked on myself as below my fellow-men, but recognized my birthright of intellectual power, and delighted in the exercise of it. The case, however, was different when I was with strangers, or even with members of my own family. Immediately the fancied giant slunk back again into the stunted dwarf. The fault of my education came over me like a cloud. The lesson that had been drilled into me so early was not to be easily eradicated; and the consequence was, that, while my indignant spirit secretly rebelled at my own cowardice, I was obliged to submit with a good grace, and cut but a poor figure in the eyes of my companions and fellow-students.
Nor did this proud diffidence lose in intensity when I was introduced into the little world of academical life. The same fault haunted me still; and keeping aloof from others, I not only forfeited many advantages, but likewise ran the risk, incurred by all solitary men, of increasing selfishness and egotism. Circumstances, however, in some degree broke down this barrier to freedom of intercourse with others, which unwise friends had unconsciously helped to raise; and though I had a small but select circle of acquaintances, my evil genius was still with me; and I finally left the university, having missed much it was calculated to teach.
My next experience dates from the time when I found myself a curate in a large manufacturing town. All my old troubles began over again. When I stood up in public, my sensitiveness came back to me with tenfold force. The thought of my extreme ugliness, the recollection of my ridiculously little and flat nose, overwhelmed me with confusion. I was keenly alive to the ludicrous: and hence the picture I involuntarily drew of myself wounded my vanity in the extreme. My first appearance in the desk was formidable. I was miserable. My poor little nose, through intense self-consciousness, actually ached on my face. If I caught the full glance of an eye, I suspected at once that it was fixed on that particular feature; and I had by an express effort to call all my reasoning powers together to lay this ghost of my own morbid fancy.
This extreme sensitiveness, however, soon began to wear off. I made up my mind to be ugly; and the strong brotherhood I felt with many others in this respect came to the aid of my philosophy.
But there was a worse evil, which was not so soon overcome. Having been for so many years of my life looked upon as stupid, I was now seized again with that distrust of self which I had once so nearly shaken off. It seriously crippled my usefulness; and I had the mortification to see others, with half my abilities and acquirements, but more self-reliant, occupy positions with applause where I was compelled to be silent. The struggle in my heart was very bitter; and if at last I did break through the trammels in some degree, it was not till many a wasted year had flown, and many a golden opportunity had gone by forever.
Like all other young men too, I fell in love, and then the thought of my ugliness came down on me like a thunderbolt. Of course the young lady was perfection, and her nose a thorough contrast to my own. The fact that ugly men often obtained beautiful wives was very consoling, I allow; and I often ran over in my own mind a list of all the plain men I knew who were married to lovely women. Still my own ugliness distressed me, and I began in consequence an awkward and unwieldy flirtation. I tried to be agreeable, but my shyness prevailed; and I generally ended by making some blunder, such as plunged me in disgrace. Then a period of silence and distance would ensue, at which the fair object of my affections was visibly piqued and puzzled; and, as was but natural, soon let me feel her anger and annoyance. Then immediately, with the proverbial inconsistency of a lover, I forgot my own conduct that had caused the alteration in her manner, and attributed the change to a rooted dislike of my person. And so at last we separated; and a happier rival appeared, who carried her off at once, and wears the flower to this day.
After this event I began to look upon myself as a confirmed bachelor. No woman, I thought would ever take me, who have no gold to gild my ugliness; and I grew almost contented with my solitude. But Providence ordered it otherwise. This is not a love story, but a true tale; and when I learnt from the lips of her I love best, some months after marriage, that the honesty and intelligence, written on my face, threw a veil over its ugliness and almost glorified my insignificant and troublesome nose, I felt, and I still feel, that if all the world thinks me ugly, I am perfectly content with the verdict; and if most men have better noses than myself, there are many without my share of intellect and sense; or else with all their various defects, they have no warm-hearted wife like mine, to love and admire them for the few good qualities they possess.
But before I close, I have one more confession to make after all. I never see a very good nose to this day without thinking of my own bad one, and envying for the moment the more fortunate possessor. To this day also, I am somewhat shy both in public and in private, and can not wholly get over that nervous regard for the opinions of others, which my unwise training has only served to increase. This defect in my character has hindered my advancement in life. My little nose has prevented me from being a big man. God, however, has richly blessed me in many ways. I have a nice parish, a pleasant vicarage, a good wife and a large family. Many kind friends, too, have gathered around me, and assure me of increasing usefulness. Yet my one great fault of intense self-consciousness haunts me still, mars my enjoyment, unnerves me often in the very moment of action, and makes me feel every day the evil brought upon a too sensitive disposition, when defects, whether physical or mental, are made a theme for ridicule and banter, without regard to the present pain and future loss such a course is only too sure to entail.—_Temple Bar._
* * * * *
A missionary steamer, whose hull and machinery weigh only six tons, is now moored in the Thames, in London. The vessel is named “Peace,” and has been built for the Baptist Missionary Society, who destine it for the service of the mission in the upper reaches of the Congo River. The boat can be taken to pieces readily for transport purposes, and the total number of pieces, none of which would be too heavy for a man to carry, would be 800. The greatest possible use has been made of all available space, and the two cabins are admirably fitted. A kitchen adapted for a stove and other cooking appliances forms part of the equipment. A substantial awning covers the deck, and between this and the sides of the vessel a wire awning is fitted to stop arrows and other missiles. It is intended to take the steamer to pieces and pack the sections in boxes, which will be sent to the mouth of the Congo. From thence they will be borne by 800 men a distance of 300 miles up to Stanley Pool, where the steamer will be reconstructed by missionaries.
THE C. L. S. C.
_President_: Lewis Miller.
_Superintendent of Instruction_: J. H. Vincent, D. D.
_Counselors_: Lyman Abbott, D. D.; Bishop H. W. Warren, D. D.; J. M. Gibson, D. D.; W. O. Wilkinson, D. D.
_Office Secretary_: Miss Kate F. Kimball.
_General Secretary_: Albert M. Martin.
1.—AIM.
This new organization aims to promote habits of reading and study in nature, art, science and in secular and sacred literature, in connection with the routine of daily life (especially among those whose educational advantages have been limited), so as to secure to them the college student’s general outlook upon the world and life, and to develop the habit of close, connected, persistent thinking.
2.—METHODS.
It proposes to encourage individual study in lines and by text-books which shall be indicated; by local circles for mutual help and encouragement in such studies; by summer courses of lectures and “students’ sessions” at Chautauqua, and by written reports and examinations.
3.—COURSE OF STUDY.
The course of study prescribed by the C. L. S. C. shall cover a period of four years.
4.—ARRANGEMENT OF CLASSES.
Each year’s course of study will be considered the “first year” for new pupils, whether it be the first, second, third or fourth of the four years’ course. For example, “the class of 1886,” instead of beginning October, 1882, with the same studies which were pursued in 1881-’82 by “the class of 1885,” will fall in with “the class of ’85,” and take for their first year the second year’s course of the ’85 class. The first year for “the class of 1885” will thus in due time become the fourth year for “the class of 1886.”
5.—C. L. S. C. COURSE OF READING, 1882-’83.
_I. Required._
1. Readings in the History and Literature of Greece, England, Russia, Scandinavia, China, Japan and America.
2. Readings in Science; Geology, Astronomy, Physiology, and Hygiene.
3. Readings in Bible History, and in Biblical and General Religious Literature.
_II. White Seal._
1. Additional Readings in Greek, English and Biblical History.
2. Additional Readings in English and American Literature.
_III. White (Crystal) Seal for Graduates._
Readings in History, Literature and Science, in the line of the Required Course for the year.
This is a Special Course for Graduates of the Class of 1882 who wish to continue their connection with the Circle.
6.—BOOKS FOR THE C. L. S. C. COURSE, 1882-’83.
_I. Required._
History of Greece, by Prof. T. T. Timayenis. Vol. 1. Parts 3, 4 and 5. Price, $1.15.
Preparatory Greek Course in English, by Dr. W. C. Wilkinson. Price, $1.
Chautauqua Text-Book, No. 5, Greek History, by Dr. J. H. Vincent. Price, 10 cents.
Recreations in Astronomy, by Bishop Henry W. Warren, D. D. Price, $1.10.
Chautauqua Text-Book, No. 2, Studies of the Stars, by Bishop H. W. Warren, D. D. Price, 10 cents.
First Lessons in Geology, by Prof. A. S. Packard, Jr. Price, 50 cents.
Chautauqua Text-Book, No. 4, English History, by Dr. J. H. Vincent. Price, 10 cents.
Chautauqua Text-Book, No. 34, China, Corea and Japan, by W. Elliot Griffis. Price, 10 cents.
Evangeline, by Henry W. Longfellow. Price, paper, 20 cents; cloth, 50 cents.
Hampton Tracts: A Haunted House, by Mrs. M. F. Armstrong; and Cleanliness and Disinfection, by Elisha Harris, M. D. Price, 15 cents.
THE CHAUTAUQUAN.[G]
Price, $1.50—in which will be published, (monthly): Pictures from English History, by C. E. Bishop, Esq.; Chapters from Early Russian History, by Mrs. M. S. Robinson; Passages from Scandinavian History and Literature, by Prof. L. A. Sherman, of New Haven, Conn.; Sabbath Readings in Classic Religious Literature, selected by Dr. J. H. Vincent.
THE CHAUTAUQUAN will also contain, in the department of _Required Readings_, brief papers as follows: Studies in Ancient Greek Life; Selections from English Literature; Readings from Russian Literature; Readings from the Literature of China and Japan; Readings in Bible History; Readings in Biblical Literature; Readings in Geology; Readings in Astronomy; Readings in Physiology and Hygiene.
ADDITIONAL READINGS FOR STUDENTS OF THE CLASS OF ’83.
Hints for Home Reading, by Dr. Lyman Abbott. Price, cloth, $1; board, 75 cts.
The Hall in the Grove, by Mrs. Alden. (A story of Chautauqua and the C. L. S. C.) Price, $1.50.
Outline Study of Man, by Dr. Mark Hopkins. Price, $1.50.
_II. For the White Seal._
Persons who pursue the “White Seal Course” of each year, in addition to the regular course, will receive at the time of their graduation a white seal for each year, to be attached to the regular diploma.
History of Greece, by Prof. T. T. Timayenis. Vol. 1; completed. Price, $1.15.
William the Conqueror, and Queen Elizabeth, Abbott’s series. Price, 80 cents.
Outlines of Bible History, by Bishop J. F. Hurst, D. D. Price, 50 cents.
Chautauqua Library of English History and Literature. Vol. 1. Price, paper, 60 cents; cloth, 80 cents.
Outre-Mer, by Henry W. Longfellow. Price, paper, 15 cents; cloth, 40 cents.
Hamlet. Rolfe’s edition. Price, paper, 50 cents; cloth, 70 cents.
Julius Cæsar. Rolfe’s edition. Price, paper, 50 cents; cloth, 70 cents.
_III. Required._—_For the White (Crystal) Seal, for Graduates of 1882._
THE CHAUTAUQUAN. Required Reading.
History of Greece. Vol. 1. By T. T. Timayenis.
William the Conqueror and Queen Elizabeth. Abbott’s Series.
Outre-Mer, by Henry W. Longfellow.
Hamlet. Rolfe’s edition.
Julius Cæsar. Rolfe’s edition.
The following is the distribution of the
SUBJECTS AND BOOKS THROUGHOUT THE YEAR:
[Ch. stands for CHAUTAUQUAN.]
_October._
History of Greece. Vol. 1. (Timayenis.) (Parts 3, 4, and 5.)
Chautauqua Text-Book, Greek History. (Vincent.)
Geology. (Packard.)
Readings in English, Russian, Scandinavian, and Religious History and Literature. (Ch.)
Readings in Geology. (Ch.)
_November._
History of Greece. Vol. 1. (Timayenis.) (Parts 3, 4, and 5.)
Geology. (Packard.)
English, Russian, Scandinavian, and Religious History and Literature. (Ch.)
Readings in Geology. (Ch.)
_December._
Preparatory Greek Course in English. (Wilkinson.)
English, Russian, Scandinavian and Religious History and Literature. (Ch.)
Studies in Ancient Greek Life. (Ch.)
Readings from Russian Literature. (Ch.)
_January 1883._
Preparatory Greek Course in English. (Wilkinson.)
English, Russian, Scandinavian, and Religious History and Literature. (Ch.)
Readings in Bible History and Literature. (Ch.)
_February._
Recreations in Astronomy. (Warren.)
Chautauqua Text-Book, Studies of the Stars. (Warren.)
Readings in Astronomy. (Ch.)
English, Russian, Scandinavian, and Religious History and Literature. (Ch.)
Readings in Bible History and Literature. (Ch.)
_March._
Recreations in Astronomy. (Warren.)
Readings in Astronomy. (Ch.)
Chautauqua Text-Book, English History. (Vincent.)
English, Russian, Scandinavian, and Religious History and Literature. (Ch.)
Selections from English Literature. (Ch.)
_April._
Physiology, Hygiene, and Home. Hampton Tracts.
Readings in Physiology. (Ch.)
English, Russian, Scandinavian, and Religious History and Literature. (Ch.)
Selections from English Literature. (Ch.)
_May._
Evangeline. (Longfellow.)
English, Russian, Scandinavian, and Religious History and Literature. (Ch.)
Readings in Physiology. (Ch.)
_June._
Chautauqua Text-Book, China, Corea and Japan. (Griffis.)
English, Russian, Scandinavian, and Religious History and Literature. (Ch.)
Readings from the Literature of China and Japan. (Ch.)
7.—SPECIAL COURSES.
Members of the C. L. S. C. may take, in addition to the regular course above prescribed, one or more special courses, and pass an examination upon them. Pupils will receive credit and testimonial seals to be appended to their regular diploma, according to the merit of examination on these supplemental courses.
8.—THE PREPARATORY COURSE.
Persons who are too young, or not sufficiently advanced in their studies, to take the regular C. L. S. C. course, may adopt certain preparatory lessons for one or more years.
For circulars of the preparatory course, address Miss K. F. Kimball, Plainfield, N. J.
9.—INITIATION FEE.
To defray the expenses of correspondence, memoranda, etc., an annual fee of fifty cents is required. This amount should be forwarded to Miss K. F. Kimball, Plainfield, N. J. (by New York or Philadelphia draft, or post-office order on Plainfield, N. J.) Do not send postage stamps if you can possibly avoid it.
N. B.—In sending your fee, be sure to state to which class you belong, whether 1883, 1884, 1885, or 1886.
10.—APPLICATION FOR MEMBERSHIP.
Persons desiring to unite with the C. L. S. C. should forward answers to the following questions to Miss K. F. Kimball, Plainfield, N. J. The class graduating in 1886 should begin the study of the lessons required October, 1882. They _may_ begin as late as January 1, 1883.
1. Give your name in full. 2. Your postoffice address, with county and State. 3. Are you married or single? 4. What is your age? Are you between twenty and thirty, or thirty and forty, or forty and fifty, or fifty and sixty, etc.? 5. If married, how many children living under the age of sixteen years?[H] 6. What is your occupation? 7. With what religious denomination are you connected? 8. Do you, after mature deliberation, resolve, if able, to prosecute the four years’ course of study presented by the C. L. S. C.? 9. Do you promise to give an average of four hours a week to the reading and study required by this course? 10. How much more than the time specified do you hope to give to this course of study?
11.—TIME REQUIRED.
An average of forty minutes reading each week day will enable the students in nine months to complete the books required for the year. More time than this will probably be spent by many persons, and for their accommodation a special course of reading on the same subject has been indicated. The habit of thinking steadily upon worthy themes during one’s secular toil will lighten labor, brighten life, and develop power.
12.—MEMORANDA.
The annual examinations will be held at the homes of the members, and in writing. Memoranda will be forwarded to them, and by their written replies the committee can judge whether or not they have read the books required.
13.—ATTENDANCE AT CHAUTAUQUA.
Persons should be present to enjoy the annual meetings at Chautauqua, but attendance there is not necessary to graduation in the C. L. S. C. Persons who have never visited Chautauqua may enjoy the advantages, diploma, and honors of the Circle. The ASSEMBLY DAILY HERALD is published on the grounds during the Chautauqua Assembly. Send $1 for the DAILY HERALD to T. L. Flood, Meadville, Pa. Back numbers can be supplied.
14.—MISCELLANEOUS.
For the story of the C. L. S. C., and explanation of the Local Circles, the Memorial Days to be observed by all true C. L. S. C. members, St. Paul’s Grove at Chautauqua, etc., etc., address (inclose three-cent stamp), Miss K. F. Kimball, Plainfield, N. J., who will forward the Chautauqua Hand-Book, No. 2, sixty-four pages. Blank forms, containing the ten questions given in paragraph 10, will also be sent on application.
15.—OUR CLASS MOTTOES.
We study the Word and the Works of God.
Let us keep our Heavenly Father in the midst.
Never be discouraged.
16.—BOOKS OF THE C. L. S. C.
Address Phillips & Hunt, 805 Broadway, New York; and Walden & Stowe, Cincinnati and Chicago.
FOOTNOTES:
[G] THE CHAUTAUQUAN is a monthly magazine containing more than one half the “required” reading. Ten numbers for the year. 72 pages a month. Price, $1.50 a year. For all the books address Phillips & Hunt, New York, or Walden & Stowe, Cincinnati or Chicago. For THE CHAUTAUQUAN address, _Theodore L. Flood, Meadville, Pa._
[H] We ask this question to ascertain the possible future intellectual and moral influence of this “Circle” on your homes.
EDITOR’S OUTLOOK.
C. L. S. C. Literature.
Among the many notable features connected with Chautauqua work, not the least is the influence of the C. L. S. C. on the educational literature of the times. Book making of a peculiar sort, to meet a special demand, has been one of its results. It is a maxim of commerce that whenever there is a demand there will be a supply to meet it. It is not strange that the supply did not exist at the beginning, for the demand, the want of a school of the people, such as the C. L. S. C. aims to be, is without precedent in our history. Books for the public schools and academies lacked adaptability as well as attractiveness in many instances. The greater part of them were too elementary, being prepared for younger minds and those more advanced and mature were generally too special in their character, failing to give that “outlook” which figures so largely in the Chautauqua Idea. It had to be recognized that the mind of one grown to adult years, though perhaps no farther advanced in a particular branch of study than the boy at school, yet because of other development, experience and observation required that the subject be presented in a different manner. College text books were not suited to the needs of the student of this People’s College. They were often too deep and not wide enough, too much of the students’ _sanctum_ to be suited to the fireside of the home.