Part 8

"'Perhaps,' I said, 'you will tell me first of all what you have done, then I will tell you what I have done, and possibly the meaning may come.'

"'Firstly,' he exclaimed, 'will you explain how you can have run off with my wife when you are here, and she is not? Where is she?'

"I felt aggravated, and therefore inclined to be aggravating. 'I left her,' I answered, 'as you know is generally the end of man's inconsistency in this case.'

"'This is ridiculous!' he replied, a dangerous light coming into his eyes. 'If you don't take care you will tempt me too far!'

"I felt nothing would please me more than to get him to murder me, then after he had been hanged Vera might go free.

"'I hope,' I said, 'you like your wedding trip, you coward. Who, half drunken with the father's wine, made a stage-play scene for the benefit of his child, when her very innocence should have protected her? Who lied about his private property, when he was in reality a beggar and will soon be a bankrupt? Who at last decided to marry in the hope of living on his wife's fortune?'

"He had come nearer and was now standing over me; his hand was on my throat; but for his natural cowardice he would have strangled me. His eyes glared down with fiendish anger!

"'You devil!' he cried, 'for devil I believe you are! Curse you! Curse you!'

"'I have still a trifle of news left, it may be a comfort for you to reflect upon it,' I said. 'Mr. Soudin is as badly off as you are. I heard the newsboy shouting that an unlimited bank has failed in which he is considerably interested. Probably if your mortgagees are merciful he may be bankrupt before you even now!'

"Vancome looked at me for a moment, then, seeming satisfied that as I knew so much it might be safe to rely upon me even in this, sank back in his chair. The last blow had tamed him. He was not only robbed of his wife, but what to him seemed far worse, utterly ruined, with or without her; cut off from his long-cherished hope of redeeming his fortune by marriage. I felt toward him almost a sensation of pity.

"After a pause he muttered, 'I cannot believe it! Some one told me that Soudin was very wealthy--a regular miser, rolling in gold! Look here,' he continued, turning to me, but the anger had left his face. 'Tell me plainly, how do you know all these things? How did you know we were here? What have you done with Vera? And why in the name of fortune are you travelling with me to America?'

"I should have been a good deal puzzled to reply to the last question, and had no intention of answering the three others, so I remained silent. At this moment the doctor entered, and I expressed a wish to speak to him alone. Vancome left us evidently unwillingly.

"'I see from your manner,' I said to the doctor, 'that you believe me to be insane. I must therefore try to convince you that this is not the case, though you were quite justified in accepting the view you did. I came on board this ship hoping to find out something of great importance. During my search the vessel started. I then heard very bad news, and having in my excitement not tasted food for many hours, I fainted. Will you let the captain know, however, that I am well provided with money, and willing to pay for the best accommodation possible?'

"I took out my pocket-book and handed him a card, and at the same time drawing out a roll of notes which represented over L2000. I had brought this money with me for the purpose of bribery, for had I found it necessary to resort to that expedient, ready cash would have been required.

"The sight of the money had more effect in satisfying the doctor that he had not to deal with an escaped lunatic than any words could have done; but I noticed he was meditating on the probability of my being an escaped thief instead. However, having apparently decided that such matters were out of his line of business, and seeing a good chance of being paid for his services, his manner changed, and he became the friendly practitioner.

"I was soon supplied with a few requisites for the journey and also moved to very comfortable quarters; but I was most anxious to get an opportunity of returning at once to England. In the evening I consulted the captain, but though I offered a large reward if he could put me on a homebound vessel, he declined to stop the ship on her trial trip.

"Fortune nevertheless favoured me. We had been talking for some time, and it was well on into the night. The sea was smooth, though a gentle westerly breeze was blowing. The passengers had retired for the night.

"'How much did you say you were prepared to give?' he asked presently.

"I saw he was wavering, and doubled the sum.

"'Well,' he said looking out, 'if I am not mistaken, that is a Southampton schooner in the distance. Will you swear to keep the matter dark if I get you on board?'

"I assented.

"'Do you know any one on this vessel?' he then asked.

"'Only one man,' I replied, 'and he will be less surprised at my disappearance than he was at my appearance. He believes I am a magician.'

"'We will chance it,' he said. 'You are not a passenger, and the whole business can be done in ten minutes.'

"He gave some instructions and signalling went on. Then he crossed to one of the mates, with whom he had a private conversation, which led to a boat being got ready. The schooner had tacked and was coming quickly towards us.

"'It is all right,' the officer said. 'I know the Captain of this ship, and my mate will explain to him that you are willing to pay L100 for your trip to Southampton. He will keep the matter dark. Good-bye!'

"The steamer had slackened, and we glided noiselessly toward the sailing ship. As the boat was lowered I handed the speaker a handful of notes. In less than five minutes I was on board the schooner, and before the week was out, in London."

*CHAPTER VI*

"I found among the letters waiting attention, one from Mr. Soudin, thanking me most warmly for my action in saving his daughter from Lord Vancome, to whom he referred in language that hardly bears repetition. It was a diplomatic letter, striving to shield Vera as much as possible, and endeavouring to make out that she had not only left home against her will, but even hinting that she had been drugged, as he said that since her return with Mrs. Freshfield she had been unable to give any account of what had happened, and that she evidently looked upon Vancome with absolute detestation. This satisfied me that the influence which I had exercised had been successful, and the girl remembered nothing about the marriage. It was also plain that her father had no idea of the truth. You may well conceive that my position was both a painful and difficult one. I decided to go at once to Scotland, and hoped that during the journey I might be able to form some plans for future action.

"There was also a note from Mr. Marsden, saying that his scheme was progressing favourably, and that he considered it would be better to make Lord Vancome a bankrupt; he had got possession of all his bills, and now only awaited instructions before taking final action.

"Without replying to either of the letters, I started for the North by the night train, and slept nearly the whole time, instead of devoting it to unravelling the entangled skein, which was probably the better plan, for I was thoroughly tired. Consequently I arrived at Heather Lodge refreshed, but without having the least idea of what course to pursue.

"Mr. Soudin had gone out, and I found Vera sitting alone, engaged in reading a novel. She seemed pleased to see me, and we sat for some time talking on trivial matters, which gave me an opportunity of reading her thoughts, and thus finding out whether the memory of her journey to Liverpool had returned. With some relief I soon discovered that, though she had a dim remembrance of having intended to run away from home with Vancome, and of a journey with some unknown lady, the intervening period was still a blank; and, moreover, that she had been persuaded even this remembrance was but a delusion owing to illness. After her return she had suffered from a slight fever, brought on no doubt by the excitement; and during recovery it was easy to make her believe that what remembrance she retained was simply the effect of delirium. Though she now disliked Vancome, it was not difficult to perceive that she had not forgotten our former quarrel. Her father had apparently been urging her strongly to accept my suit and had prevailed, but there was no sign that she loved me; and this fact, considering the strange position in which we were placed, ought to have caused me more relief than it did.

"I found it impossible to convince my heart that, considering the circumstances, such a husband had any right over this girl; though at the same time I fully realized how all hope of my marrying her was at an end, and that my love must in future be unselfish, desiring neither any return of affection nor other reward.

"You may think that from the time I became acquainted with the marriage, it was my duty to stamp out all feeling of affection and accept this as a sign that I had previously been mistaken in supposing our lives were for all time to influence each other, or that I was still responsible for the girl's future. In fact, considering her character, one so placed might well, from a selfish point of view, have rejoiced in regaining freedom from a burden that could only bring pain and trouble through life. Such views have become the accepted canons of society, and in most cases it would be foolish to fight against them. Marriage in itself is a wise law fitted to the present condition of our lower animal natures, and to tamper with it is not only a dangerous, but a retrograde step. For it shadows forth the nobler union of souls, and in some few cases may even bring a foretaste of future joy.

"On the other hand, it is equally false to assume that this legal or so-called religious tie has any necessary spiritual significance; and while at the present day the bond is often held too lightly, there are some, who, conscious of nobler feelings and aspirations, regard wedlock as a divine union of souls. This view, though correct as an ideal, finds too seldom its realization; hence arises no little confusion of ideas and much unnecessary trouble of heart. The scoffers ask, with the Sadducees of old, which man's wife shall such a one be in the resurrection, forgetting that the body is nothing, and that the passions of the body are nothing but the trivialities of a transitory condition. Such things are intended to seem important to us whilst on earth; and bear an apparent significance out of all proportion to their spiritual importance. Thus we live in a world full of heaven-sent delusions. No observation of other lives can destroy them, for each man or woman must learn the lesson by experience.

"Think of all that has been written and all that has been said about love, and yet how year by year we see the same picture reproduced. When first a girl attracts a youth, or may be a man of mature years, what are his feelings? If only he can get her to consent to be his wife, he believes that his whole existence must be changed to one of joy; that in her company all other interests will be as nothing; that it must be impossible to tire of her presence, to be a moment absent from her without pain, that they will in fact continue lovers to the end. If he looks round on his married acquaintances it is nothing to him that he can find no such state of existence; others can never have felt as he feels, for no one had like cause. He may be half conscious that he is being tricked by his emotions, but he prefers not to question his mind on the subject. Nature is too strong for reason, and having her work to accomplish, fulfils her mission."

I was surprised to hear Sydney speaking in this way, and interrupted him by asking if he did not believe in the possibility of an enduring and true love on earth.

"Yes," he replied, "most certainly; but not in this fascination lasting. True love can only be tested by those who have learned the lesson of self-renunciation. If you wish to know whether you love or not, face these questions--Is it for myself this possession is desired, or am I striving only for the happiness of the one beloved? Should she change, and the beauty, if there is beauty, turn to the most repulsive ugliness; her apparent saintliness to sin; her affection to hatred, or her sanity to madness, should I still love her? If you can truly say this, and have sufficient imagination to realize fully the meaning of the change, yours is love; and if in after times, when trial comes, your self-confidence leaves you, such love may even then rest assured it is eternal, because it is of God. But we see this devotion more often exhibited in the passion of parent for child than in love between man and wife. The reason of this being that the latter relationship begins with the expectation of a love to be returned, and the former with a ministry of tenderness which can at the time receive no active response. It is ever owing to seemingly adverse circumstances that the finer qualities of man's nature are drawn forth, and I have more reason to be thankful for the misery and perplexity which my love for Vera brought into my life than for all the hours of happiness which I have known. Much, however, as we may appreciate these disguised blessings in retrospect, it does not make them more agreeable to pass through; and this time which I spent at Heather Lodge was perhaps, with one exception, the most miserable period of my life.

"I felt that it was absolutely necessary to take the first opportunity of letting Mr. Soudin know the truth. As soon as he returned, and I had a chance of speaking to him alone, I started on the unpleasant task. He listened patiently to the outline of the story till I came to the marriage-licence, then turning livid with anger he lost all self-control.

"'I don't believe it!' he said. 'It is outrageous--monstrous! Why, the girl's not of age. He would have been bound to get my consent. You must know that the thing's out of the question!'

"When I explained that the age had been altered, he grew still more furious.

"'I'll have him up for perjury!' he cried. 'Get the marriage annulled, for after all it was never consummated; the thing's preposterous. He drugs the girl, gets her into his power, commits perjury, and hopes thereby to live on me for the rest of his life; but he is mistaken; the thing shall be put right at once!'

"As soon as he was a little calmer I tried to reason with him, and show that it would be no easy matter to prove that Vera was not a consenting party.

"'Had you not better,' I asked, 'go to Liverpool, and see the registrar before whom the marriage took place, and also examine the signatures? A prosecution for perjury might possibly fall upon your daughter if you are not careful how you act.'

"At last he consented to take the course suggested, on the condition that I did not leave until his return, and the following morning he started for Liverpool.

"I was left practically alone with Vera, her mother being still confined nearly all day to her room. I decided to let my powers, as far as possible, lie dormant, and to watch her only as I should have done before the development of my new sense; to see her as any other man might, and endeavour to judge how much of her inner character was obvious to those who came in contact with her in ordinary life.

"It is always easy thus to throw off a possession that has been recently acquired, and it is often a relief to do so. My animal nature gained in strength the moment it was released from the new spiritual bondage. Moreover, my companion seemed conscious of a similar relief; I had never seen her so bright and happy; she became at once a merry, playful child, recklessly mischievous and fascinatingly coquettish.

"In the afternoon, the day after my arrival, we walked together over the moors to a little village by the sea. Though the autumn was now far advanced, it was one of those Indian summer days in which each act of breathing becomes a separate joy, when every soft breath of wind helps to intoxicate the brain. I felt as if with every mile I walked a year of life dropped from me, till, when we reached the seashore, I had arrived at boyhood and had cast away all care, all thoughts of the past.

"The girl beside me was no longer the wife of an enemy, but my child-playfellow; our spirits acted and reacted upon each other. We were alone with the seagulls and the waves. The cries of the former and the music of the latter harmonized with the reckless exultation that overwhelmed us. Barefooted we waded in the chilly water, or chased each other over the warm sand with laughter and shouting. Among the rocks and caves we hunted for curious sea-creatures, sadly missing our childhood's buckets in which to place the captives. Near at hand was a rocky basin, which became our aquarium; hither we brought, with mingling sounds of exultation and fear, the wriggling captives, pride in each new treasure demanding appreciation from the less fortunate.

"The clear pool was soon teeming with live creatures thus reluctantly brought into close contact, and through the forest of delicate seaweed we watched some fierce and deadly battles; whilst the more lymphatic species lay around, allowing their bodies with equal complacency to be made the stepping-stones to victory or the shelter from defeat.

"Thus in childish pleasure the hours went by, till, tired out with our play, we sat down side by side to rest.

"'Whatever would people think if they could see us?' Vera said, covering up her bare feet in the warm sand.

"It may have been her action, or something in the tone of her voice. In a moment the happy, boyish feeling left me. The years began to hurry back, the innocent pleasure to fade, and in its place the passion of manhood came with overwhelming power, baffling and mocking me. I looked at my companion--child-playmate no longer. Her face was flushed, her uncovered head a mass of soft, light, waving curls; her eyes sparkled with merry mischief, but beneath the mischief there was that look I had surprised before, the reflection of my own feeling on the girl's nature; but how differently did it affect me now! When first I had seen it, Vera had promised to be my wife; now she was the wife of another. It seemed almost incredible that a mere legal formality, such as her marriage had been, could so entirely alter our relationship; but still stranger how the knowledge of this alteration strengthened all the lower passions of my nature, at the expense of the higher. Every feeling that had hitherto been sanctified by love was now sacrilege against that love. I made a desperate effort to regain the mastery over my weakness; but, alas! I had kindled a new fire of temptation.

"Vera came close to me, and laying her hand on mine, said--'Alan, I think that I will forgive you, after all. I like you better to-day than ever before.'

"What had I done? My object having been to help this girl, my want of success was pitiable. Having deprived her of the knowledge of her marriage, and caused her to hate her husband, I was now bringing her once more beneath the influence of a passion which could only end in misery and degradation. Yet, as I looked at her, it seemed impossible to withstand the temptation of taking her once more, if only once, into my arms. She was waiting for my kiss of reconciliation; and more than this, of the torrent of love long restrained. I was powerless, and knowing that no strength of my own could save me, with one last cry for help, I gave over the contest. At the same instant I was free.

"Of all the strange mysteries connected with our nature, nothing is more remarkable than what is called the efficacy of prayer. As long as a man fights against his temptations he but increases their force, especially in such a contest as this. But should his will be really against the temptation, a path is always open. Let him once acknowledge his own weakness, and allow for a moment his spirit to cry for assistance, and he will find himself lifted from the burden of the body, in a way that those who have never experienced the sensation would think impossible. One thing only is necessary, but that is essential: the cry must be an honest desire of the heart, and not a weak prompting of habit.

"It is not that strength to resist the evil is sent as an answer to the prayer, but that the temptation is utterly removed, the force of the body being, as it were, for the time annihilated; so at least have I ever found it, and so it proved in this case. I could look now at my companion without fear, and love her with a love that I knew was innocent. The very remembrance of my past thoughts filled me with a wondering horror. Summoning all my strength of will, I strove to recall to her mind the page which had been obliterated, and to bring back her natural feeling towards Vancome, which had changed to hatred.

"Whilst doing this, I repeated the story, hoping thereby to assist her memory, but, from a then unknown reason, I failed utterly, and the only impression which she formed was that I had gone mad. When I tried to take her hand in mine so as to gain more influence over her will, she rose and left me.

"I could see her in the distance evidently getting ready to start for home. I dared not follow her, knowing that had I done so, she would in her fear have run bare-headed and bare-footed over the moor, rather than let me come near her.

"She, however, seemed undecided in her mind, and for the first time that day I began to be conscious of her thoughts. Seeing that I had made no attempt to follow her, or to exhibit any further signs of insanity, the sudden fear had evidently diminished, and she began to fancy that probably I had only been fooling her for the pleasure of seeing if she could be made to believe the story. At length, being satisfied that this was the explanation, she began to walk slowly towards the place where I was sitting, and then called to me, saying that it was time to go back. I answered that I was quite ready, but that it seemed a pity to go so soon. My voice still further reassuring her, she came and looked over the rock, saying--

"'So you thought you could take me in with that rubbish, did you?'

"'Well,' I replied, 'that was my intention, but as it's evidently of no use, I must give in. Your imagination is not so easily influenced as I thought.'

"'I should think not,' she said. 'But you acted very well, and I really thought for the moment you had gone mad. It was very nasty of you to spoil our happy day in that manner. I suppose you did it in revenge.'

"'No, I did not, dear,' I answered. 'But come and sit down. We will say no more about it.'

"She did as I asked her, protesting all the while that I was a brute; but in five minutes I had managed to change the subject, and to get her to take my hand. Then without speaking I willed her to sleep. Slowly she leant further back; her head sank down, and in less than a minute she was quite unconscious.

"There would, I now knew, be no difficulty in impressing on her mind what had previously been obliterated, and moreover, there was plenty of time to consider whether it might not be well to keep her still in ignorance of some part of her experience with Vancome. But thinking the matter over, I decided it would not under the circumstances be right to interfere with the past. So I willed her to remember all, and to awake with the same feelings towards her husband as those which she felt before she left the ship; moreover, that she should not only understand what course I had pursued, but my reason for pursuing it, and my ignorance of the marriage.