Category: Humour

The Celebrity at Home

For it is nice to do as you like even if it isn't good for you. It is nice to overeat yourself even though it does make you ill afterwards. It is a positive pleasure to go out and do something that catches you a cold, if you want to, and to leave off your winter clothes a mont...

Chapters

1. CHAPTER I

For it is nice to do as you like even if it isn't good for you. It is nice to overeat yourself even though it does make you ill afterwards. It is a positive pleasure to go out a...

2. CHAPTER II

You don't get a very good class of servant down this way, my mother says, but then she is so particular. She is the kind of mistress who knows how to do everything better hersel...

3. CHAPTER III

"I don't see why you need put that poor child in Coventry?" she said. "You had more need to be grateful to her than not. How much longer was it going to go on, I want to know? H...

4. CHAPTER IV

We went into a house and into a large empty room with whole streets of coggley chairs and a kind of pulpit thing in the middle. A jug of water and a tumbler stood on it. There w...

5. CHAPTER V

It is no fun for George now, when everybody knows he is a married man. Lady Scilly took care of that, and told everybody as a good joke, and all her friends at the Go-ahead Club...

6. CHAPTER VI

George makes a point of refusing to be interviewed. He hates it, unless it is for one of the best papers. Then he says that it is a sheer kindness, and that a successful man has...

7. CHAPTER VII

I wonder if other families have got tame countesses, who come bothering and interfering in their affairs? I don't mind our having a house-warming party at all, but I do hate tha...

8. CHAPTER VIII

About nine they all began to arrive, and by ten o'clock the house was overflowing. Ben was a capital commissionaire in a District Messenger's costume he had borrowed, with Georg...

9. CHAPTER IX

Smart women like having a fluffy dog or a child to drive with them in the afternoons. Lady Scilly hasn't got either of her own, so she is always borrowing me, and sending for me...

10. CHAPTER X

It is a very odd thing that with a father a novelist, who can sell ten thousand copies of a book, you can't get any sort of useful advice on the subject he has made peculiarly h...

11. CHAPTER XI

George came back from his yachting tour with the Scillys very brown and cheerful, having collected enough sunshine for a new book, and Christina is typing it at his dictation.

12. did. It is awkward for Ariadne, I admit, for Mother not going out, and

That can't be helped, but Ariadne is always hasty and strikes while the iron is too hot. Simon Hermyre did _rather_ like her, but he wasn't quite sure that he actually wanted to...

13. CHAPTER XII

We never used to go away for more than a week every summer to Brighton or Herne Bay, but now that we live in the heart of the town, as of course St. John's Wood is, it has been...

14. CHAPTER XIII

"They can't be parted long, poor things!" Aunt Gerty said, and Mother hushed her. She brought her great friend Miss Irene Lauderdale with her, for a good blow, before she went t...

15. CHAPTER XIV

The young man that Ariadne loves is a more than friend of Lady Scilly, and I knew him first. He was there that day I lunched for the first time. On rice-pudding, I remember. Ari...

16. did. The men mopped their foreheads when they thought no one was

looking, and the women used _papier poudrée_ slyly in their handkerchiefs. Only Ariadne had none to use, and kept cool by sheer force of will. I was all right, being only a child.

17. CHAPTER XV

When George came, he took out a family subscription to the weekly balls at the Saloon, and we go, Ariadne and I. Mother will not and Aunt Gerty may not. Mother expressly stipula...

18. CHAPTER XVI

We all hoped that Mr. Bowser would find he liked Aunt Gerty well enough to wish to relieve us of her, but we evidently wished it so strongly that he did not see his way to oblig...

19. did. Missing tensions of sewing-machines and valves of cycles and stray

door-knobs and other bits of rolling stock--all disappeared. When it came to the spare sugar-tongs and my best silver scissors, however, I had to scold her. Oh, she'll be a grea...

20. CHAPTER XVII

Ariadne got fatter at Rattenraw, which is humiliating enough to a girl in her position. I can't say that she kept that up at all well, beyond looking sad, sometimes when she was...

21. CHAPTER XVIII

Lady Scilly has had three nervous chills this autumn, and one motor spill and a half, so I think that the sixpence was well spent on beeswax. Christina in her letter to us said...

22. CHAPTER XIX

Dear Simon let his hair grow comparatively long to be married to Ariadne in, to please me. I was chief bridesmaid, and stood next Almeria; Jane Emerson Tree was third bridesmaid...

23. CHAPTER XX

My mother is changed--not horrid, but quite changed. She goes out nearly every morning at ten, with Aunt Gerty, whose manners are worse than ever, and who has a little chuckling...

24. CHAPTER XXI

"Shall I type your Good-bye to George?" I asked Mother. She said, "What do you mean?" I said, "The one you will leave pinned to your pincushion in the usual place?"