SCENE IV.

_A Hall in the Castle._

_Enter SPADO._

_Spado._ So many eyes about--I can do nothing; if I could but raise a commotion to employ their attention--Oh! here's Don Juan, father to Fernando, just arrived--Yes, if I could but mix up a fine confusion now--ay, that's the time to pick up the loose things--but hold, I am told this Don Juan is very passionate--heh! to set him and Don Scipio together by the ears--Ears!--I have it.

_Enter DON JUAN in a travelling Dress._

_Don Juan._ Egad, my coming will surprise my son Fernando, and Don Scipio too--tell him I'm here--I hope I'm time enough for the wedding.

_Spado._ [_Slily._] A grim-looking old gentleman!

[_Bows obsequiously._

_Don Juan._ Who's dog are you?

_Spado._ How do you do, signor?

_Don Juan._ Why, are you a physician?

_Spado._ Me a physician! Alack-a-day, no, your honour, I am poor Spado.

_Don Juan._ Where's Don Scipio? What the devil, is this his hospitality? he has heard that I am here?

_Spado._ He hear! Ah, poor gentleman--hear! his misfortune!

_Don Juan._ Misfortune! What, he's married again?

_Spado._ At the brink.

_Don Juan._ Marry, and near threescore! What, has he lost his senses?

_Spado._ He has nearly lost one, sir.

_Don Juan._ But where is he? I want to ask him about it.

_Spado._ Ask! then you must speak very loud, sir.

_Don Juan._ Why, what, is he deaf?

_Spado._ Almost, sir, the dear gentleman can scarce hear a word.

_Don Juan._ Ah, poor fellow! Hey! Isn't yonder my son?

[_Walks up._

_Spado._ Now if I could bring the old ones together, I should'nt doubt of a quarrel.

_Enter DON SCIPIO._

_Don Scipio._ Ah, here's my friend, Don Juan! Spado, I hope he ha'n't heard of his son's pranks.

_Spado._ Hear! Ah! poor Don Juan's hearing! I've been roaring to him these five minutes.

_Don Scipio._ Roaring to him!

_Spado._ He's almost deaf.

_Don Scipio._ Bless me!

_Spado._ You must bellow to him like a speaking trumpet.

[_Exit SPADO._

_Don Scipio._ [_Very loud._] Don Juan, you are welcome.

_Don Juan._ [_Starting._] Hey! Strange that your deaf people always speak loud--[_Very loud._] I'm glad to see you, Don Scipio.

_Don Scipio._ When people are deaf themselves, they think every body else is too--How long have you been this way?

[_Bawling._

_Don Juan._ Just arrived.

[_Bawling in his Ear._

_Don Scipio._ I mean as to the hearing.

[_Very loud._

_Don Juan._ Ay, I find it's very bad with you. [_Bawling._] Zounds, I shall roar myself as hoarse as a raven!

_Don Scipio._ Ah, my lungs can't hold out a conversation--I must speak by signs.

[_Motions to drink._

_Don Juan._ What now, are you dumb too?

_Enter VASQUEZ. Whispers SCIPIO._

_Don Scipio._ Oh, you may speak out, nobody can hear but me.

_Don Juan._ [_To VASQUEZ._] Pray, is this crazy fool, your master here, going to be married?

_Don Scipio._ What!

[_Surprised._

_Vas._ [_To SCIPIO._] Don Fernando would speak to you, sir.

[_Exit VASQUEZ._

_Don Scipio._ I wish he'd come here and speak to this old blockhead, his father.--[_Takes his Hand._]--Don Juan, you are welcome to my house--but I wish you had stayed at home.

_Don Juan._ I am much obliged to you.

_Don Scipio._ You will soon see your son--as great an ass as yourself.

_Don Juan._ An ass! you shall find me a tiger, you old whelp!

_Don Scipio._ Why, zounds! you're not deaf!

_Don Juan._ A mad--ridiculous!--

_Enter FERNANDO and VICTORIA._

Fernando! hey, boy, what the devil dress is this?

_Don Fer._ My father--Sir--I--I--

_Don Scipio_. [_To VICTORIA._] What are you doing with that fellow?

_Vict._ Your pardon, dearest father, when I own that he is now my husband.

_Don Scipio._ Eh! eh! By this ruin, this eternal disgrace upon my house, am I punished for my unjust severity to my poor son, Don Caesar--married to that rascal!

_Don Juan._ Call my son a rascal!

_Don Scipio._ Zounds, man! who's thinking of your son? But this fellow to marry the girl, and disgrace my family!

_Don Juan._ Disgrace! He has honoured your family, you crack-brained old fool!

_Don Scipio._ A footman honour my family, you superannuated, deaf old idiot!

_Enter DAME ISABELLA._

Oh, Dame, fine doings! Pedrillo here has married my daughter.

_Don Juan._ But why this disguise?--what is all this about? tell me, Fernando.

_Isab._ What, is this really Don Fernando?

_Don Scipio._ Do you say so, Don Juan?

_Don Juan._ To be sure.

_Don Scipio._ Hey! then, Dame, your daughter is left to the valet--no fault of mine, though.

_Isab._ What a vile contrivance!

_Don Fer._ No, madam, yours was the contrivance, which love and accident have counteracted, in justice to this injured lady.

_Isab._ Oh, that villain Spado!

_Don Juan._ Spado? why that's the villain told me you were deaf.

_Don Scipio._ Why, he made me believe you could not hear a word.

_Isab._ And led me into this unlucky error.

[_Exit ISABELLA._

_Don Juan._ Oh, what a lying scoundrel!

_Enter SPADO, behind._

_Spado._ I wonder how my work goes on here!--[_Roars in DON JUAN's Ear._] I give you joy, sir.

_Don Juan._ I'll give you sorrow, you rascal!

[_Beats him._

_Don Scipio._ I'll have you hang'd, you villain!

_Spado._ Hang'd! dear sir, 'twould be the death of me.

_Pedrillo._ [_Without._] Come along, my cara sposa--tol-de-rol--

_Enter PEDRILLO._

How do you do, boys and girls?--Zounds! my old master!

_Don Juan._ Pedrillo! hey-dey! here's finery!

_Ped._ I must brazen it out.--Ah, Don Juan, my worthy dad!

_Don Juan._ Why, what in the name of--but I'll beat you to a mummy, sirrah!

_Ped._ Don't do that--I'm going to be married to an heiress, so mustn't be beat to a mummy.--Stand before me, spouse.

[_Gets behind LORENZA._

_Don Juan._ Let me come at him.

_Spado._ Stay where you are, he don't want you.

_Don Fer._ Dear sir.

_Don Scipio._ Patience, Don Juan; your son has got my daughter--so our contract's fulfilled.

_Don Juan._ Yes, sir; but who is to satisfy me for your intended affront, hey?

_Don Scipio._ How shall I get out of this--I'll revenge all upon you, you little rascal! to prison you go--Here, a brace of alguazils, and a pair of handcuffs.

_Spado._ For me! the best friend you had in the world!

_Don Scipio._ Friend, you villain! that sha'n't save your neck.

_Spado._ Why, I've saved your throat.

_Don Scipio._ How, sirrah?

_Spado._ Only two of the banditti here in the castle, this morning.

_Don Scipio._ Oh, dear me!

_Spado._ But I got them out.

_Don Scipio._ How? how?

_Spado._ I told them they should come and murder you this evening.

_Don Scipio._ Much obliged to you.--Oh, lord!

[_A Crash and tumultuous Noise without; BANDITTI rush in, armed; DON CAESAR at their Head--FERNANDO draws, and stands before VICTORIA._

_Band._ This way!

_Don Scipio._ Oh, ruin! I'm a miserable old man! Where's now my son, Don Caesar?--If I hadn't banished him, I should now have a protector in my child.

_Don Caesar._ Then you shall.--Hold! [_To BANDITTI._] My father!

[_Kneels to DON SCIPIO._

_Don Scipio._ How! My son, Don Caesar!

_Don Caesar._ Yes, sir; drove to desperation by--my follies were my own--but my vices----

_Don Scipio._ Were the consequence of my rigour.--My child! let these tears wash away the remembrance.

_Don Caesar._ My father! I am unworthy of this goodness.--I confess even now I entered this castle with an impious determination to extort by force--

_Sang._ Captain, we didn't come here to talk. Give the word for plunder.

_Band._ Ay, plunder!

[_Very tumultuous._

_Don Caesar._ Hold!

_Spado._ Ay, captain, let's have a choice rummaging.

[_Cocks his Pistol._

_Ped._ Oh, Lord! there's the barrel-organ!

_Don Caesar._ Stop! hold! I command you.

_Don Scipio._ Oh, heavens! then is Ramirez the terrible captain of the cut-throats--the grand tiger of the cave?--But all my fault! the unnatural parent should be punished in a rebellious child. My life is yours.

_Don Caesar._ And I'll preserve it as my own.--Retire, and wait your orders.

[_Exeunt all BANDITTI but SPADO._

_Don Scipio_ What, then, you won't let me be murdered. My dear boy! my darling! Forgive me!--I--I--I pardon all.

_Don Caesar._ Then, sir, I shall first beg it for my companions; if reclaimed, by the example of their leader, their future lives will show them worthy of mercy; if not, with mine let them be forfeit to the hand of justice.

_Don Scipio._ Some, I believe, may go up--Eh, little Spado, could you dance upon nothing?

_Spado._ Yes, sir; but our captain, your son, must lead up the ball.

[_Bows low._

_Don Scipio._ Ha! ha! ha! Well, you know, though ill bestowed, I must try my interest at Madrid.--Children, I ask your pardon; forgive me, Victoria, and take my blessing in return.

_Vict._ And do you, sir, acknowledge me for your child?

_Don Scipio._ I do, I do; and my future kindness shall make amends for my past cruelty.

_Ped._ Ha, here comes my sposa--Eh! got a beau already?

_Enter ALPHONSO and LORENZA._

_Don Caesar._ My beloved Lorenza! } [_Embrace._ _Lor._ My dearest.

_Don Alph._ My good captain! as I knew this lady only by the name of Victoria, you little imagined, in your friendly promises to me, you were giving away your Lorenza; but, had I then known we both loved the same mistress, I should, ere now, have relinquished my pretensions.

_Lor._ My good-natured Alphonso! Accept my gratitude, my esteem; but my love is, and ever was, in the possession of----

_Don Caesar._ Dear father, this is the individual lady whose beauty, grace, and angelic voice, captivated my soul at Florence; if she can abase her spotless mind, to think upon a wretch stained with crimes, accompany her pardon with your approbation.

_Don Scipio._ Isabel has been too good, and I too bad a parent!--Ha! ha! ha! then fate has decreed you are to be my daughter, some way or other.

_Ped._ Yes; but has fate decreed that my sposa is to be another man's wife?

_Spado._ And, sir, [_To SCIPIO._] if fate has decreed that your son is not to be hanged, let the indulgence extend to the humblest of his followers.

[_Bows low._

_Don Scipio._ Ha! ha! ha! Well, though I believe you a great, little rogue, yet it seems you have been the instrument of bringing about things just as they should be.

_Don Juan._ They are not as they should be, and I tell you again, Don Scipio, I will have----

_Don Scipio._ Well, and shall have--a bottle of the best wine in Andalusia, sparkling Muscadel, bright as Victoria's eye, and sweet as Lorenza's lip: hey, now for our brace of weddings--where are the violins, lutes, and cymbals? I say, let us be merry in future; and past faults our good-humoured friends will forget and forgive.

GLEE.--FINALE.

_Social powers, at pleasure's call,_ _Welcome here to Hymen's hall;_ _Bacchus, Ceres, bless the feast,_ _Momus lend the sprightly jest,_ _Songs of joy elate the soul,_ _Hebe fill the rosy bowl,_ _Every chaste and dear delight_ _Crown with joy this happy night._

[Exeunt.

THE END.

End of Project Gutenberg's The Castle of Andalusia, by John O'Keeffe