Chapter 25

_Enter_ THEUROPIDES, _followed by_ ATTENDANTS.

THEU. (_to himself_). Neptune, I do return extreme thanks to thee that thou hast just dismissed me from thee, _though_ scarce alive. But if, from this time forward, thou shalt only know that I have stirred a foot upon the main, there is no reason why, that instant, thou shouldst not do with me that which thou hast now wished to do. Away with you, away with you from me henceforth for ever after to-day; what I was to entrust to thee, all of it have I _now_ entrusted.

_Enter_ TRANIO, _overhearing him._

TRA. (_apart_). By my troth, Neptune, you've been much to blame, to have lost this opportunity so fair.

THEU. After three years, I've arrived home from Aegypt. I shall come a welcome _guest_ to my household, I suppose.

TRA. (_apart_). Upon my faith, he might have come a much more welcome one, who had brought the tidings you were dead.

THEU. (_looking at the door_). But what means this? Is the door shut in the daytime? I'll knock. (_Knocks at the door._) Hallo, there! is any one going to open this door for me?

TRA. (_coming forward, and speaking aloud_). What person is it that has come _so_ near to our house?

THEU. Surely this is my servant Tranio.

TRA. O Theuropides, my master, welcome; I'm glad that you've arrived in safety. Have you been well all along?

THEU. All along, as you see.

TRA. That's very good.

THEU. What about yourselves? Are you _all_ mad?

TRA. Why so?

THEU. For this reason; because you are walking about outside; not a born person is keeping watch in the house, either to open or to give an answer. With kicking with my feet I've almost broken in the panels?

TRA. How now? Have you been touching this house?

THEU. Why shouldn't I touch it? Why, with kicking it, I tell you, I've almost broken down the door.

TRA. What, you touched it?

THEU. I touched it, I tell you, and knocked at it.

TRA. Out upon you! THEU. Why so?

TRA. By heavens! 'twas ill done.

THEU. What is the matter? TRA. It cannot be expressed, how shocking and dreadful a mischief you've been guilty of.

THEU. How so?

TRA. Take to flight, I beseech you, and get away from the house. Fly in this direction, fly closer to me. (_He runs towards_ TRANIO.) What, did you touch the door?

THEU. How could I knock, if I didn't touch it?

TRA. By all that's holy, you've been the death--

THEU. Of what person? TRA. Of all your family.

THEU. May the Gods and Goddesses confound you with that omen.

TRA. I'm afraid that you can't make satisfaction for yourself and them.

THEU. For what reason, or what new affair is this that you _thus_ suddenly bring me _news of_?

TRA. And (_whispering_) hark you, prithee, do bid those people to move away from here. (_Pointing to the_ ATTENDANTS _of_ THEUROPIDES.)

THEU. (_to the_ ATTENDANTS). More away from here.

TRA. Don't you touch the house. Touch you the ground [1]

as well. (_Exeunt the_ ATTENDANTS.

THEU. I' faith, prithee, do speak out now.

TRA. Because it is now seven months that not a person has set foot within this house, _and_ since we once for all left it.

THEU. Tell me, why so?

TRA. Just look around, whether there's any person to overhear our discourse.

THEU. (_looking around_). All's quite safe.

TRA. Look around once more.

THEU. (_looking around_). There's nobody; now then, speak out. TRA. (_in a loud whisper_). The house has been guilty of a capital offence [2].

THEU. I don't understand _you_. TRA. A crime, tell you, has been committed _there_, a long while ago, one of olden time and ancient date.

THEU. Of ancient date?

TRA. 'Tis but recently, in fact, that we've discovered this deed.

THEU. What is this crime, or who committed it? Tell me.

TRA. A host slew his guest, seized with his hand: he, I fancy, who sold you the house.

THEU. Slew _him_?

TRA. And robbed this guest of his gold, and buried this guest there in the house, on the spot.

THEU. For what reason do you suspect that this took place?

TRA. I'll tell _you_; listen. _One day_, when your son had dined away from home, after he returned home from dining; we all went to bed, _and_ fell asleep. By accident, I had forgotten to put out my lamp; and he, all of a sudden, called out aloud--

THEU. What person? My son?

TRA. Hist! hold your peace: just listen. He said that a dead man came to him in his sleep--

THEU. In his dreams, then, you mean?

TRA. Just so. But only listen. He said that he had met with his death by these means--

THEU. _What_, in his sleep?

TRA. It would have been surprising if he had told him awake, who had been murdered sixty years ago. On some occasions you are absurdly simple. But look what he said: "I am the guest of Diapontius, from beyond the seas; here do I dwell; this has been assigned me as my abode; for Oreus would not receive me in Acheron, because prematurely I lost my life. Through confiding was I deceived: my entertainer slew me here, and that villain secretly laid me in the ground without funereal rites, in this house, on the spot, for the sake of gold. Now do you depart from here; this house is accursed, _this_ dwelling is defiled." The wonders that here take place, hardly in a year could I recount them. Hush, hush! (_He starts._)

THEU. Troth now, what has happened, prithee?

TRA. The door made a noise. Was it he that was knocking?

THEU. (_turning pale_). I have not _one_ drop of blood! Dead men are come to fetch me to Acheron, while alive!

TRA. (_aside_). I'm undone! those people there will mar my plot. (_A noise is heard from within._) How much I dread, lest he should catch me in the fact.

THEU. What are you talking about to yourself? (_Goes near the door._)

TRA. Do get away from the door. By heavens, fly, I do beseech you.

THEU. Fly where? Fly yourself, as well.

TRA. I am not afraid: I am at peace with the dead.

A VOICE (_from within_). Hallo! Tranio [3].

TRA. (_in a low voice, near the door_). You won't be calling me, if you are wise. (_Aloud, as if speaking to the_ APPARITION.) 'Tis not I that's guilty; I did not knock at the door.

THEU. Pray, what is it that's wrong? What matter is agitating you, Tranio? To whom are you saying these things?

TRA. Prithee, was it you that called me? So may the Gods bless me, I fancied it was this dead man expostulating because you had knocked at the door. But are you still standing there, and not doing what I advise you?

THEU. What am I to do? TRA. Take care not to look back. Fly; cover up your head!

THEU. Why don't you fly?

TRA. I am at peace with the dead.

THEU. I recollect. Why then were you so dreadfully alarmed just now?

TREA. Have no care for me, I tell you; I'll see to myself. You, as you have begun _to do_, fly as quick as ever you can; Hercules, too [4], you will invoke.

THEU. Hercules, I do invoke thee! (_Runs off._)

TRA. (_to himself._) And I, as well, old fellow, that this day he'll send some heavy mishap upon you. O ye immortal Gods, I do implore your aid. Plague on it! what a mess I have got into to-day. (_Exit._

[Footnote 1: _Touch you the ground_)--Ver. 457. The ancients were in the habit of reverentially touching the earth, when engaged in any affairs that related to the dead or the infernal Deities.]

[Footnote 2: _Guilty of a capital offence_)--Ver. 464. "Capitalis aedes facta est;" meaning that a murder had been committed in it.]

[Footnote 3: _Hallo! Tranio_)--Ver. 502. Weise's Edition gives these words to Theuropides. Rost, no doubt rightly, suggests that these words are spoken by Philolaches from inside (perhaps in a low voice, to ask Tranio how matters are going on). On this, Tranio turns it to good account, by pretending that the Ghost is calling out to him for his supposed impiety in daring to knock at the door.]

[Footnote 4: _Hercules, too_)--Ver. 514. Hercules having slain so many monsters, was naturally regarded as a Deity likely to give aid in extreme danger.]