CHAPTER XIX.

LOCAL RETURNED LETTER OFFICE.

The Bristol Post Office has its returned letter branch, with which almost all the towns in the West of England, and South Wales are affiliated for "dead letter" work. Through its agency over a million letters and postal packets are returned to senders annually. Book packets and circulars form 50 per cent. of the total number, and of these only 75 per cent. can be restored to the persons who posted them. Over 10,000 letters containing property are recorded in the ledgers, and they represent a total value in cash, bank-notes, bills, cheques, postage stamps, etc., of about L36,000 per annum, nearly the whole of which reaches the hands of the senders. About 400 letters containing money orders, and 1,700 letters containing value, compulsorily registered, are returned in the course of the year. Amongst the curiosities of returned letter office experience may be mentioned the following. A letter was received thus peculiarly addressed:--"Miss ----, 4, Pleasant View, in that beautiful city which charms even eyes familiar with the masterpieces of Bramanto and Palladio, and which the genius of Anstey and of Smollett, of Frances Burney and of Jane Austen has made classic ground." The pundits in the returned letter office who deal with derelict letters properly divined that the place so glowingly described was Bath, and issuing the letter accordingly, it was duly delivered in the fair city.

A packet was received simply addressed "Post Office, Bristol, to be called for." The contents were an army reserve man's discharge papers and pension application forms. The application bore evidence that it referred to Lichfield, and the packet was accordingly sent to that military depot. Two or three days afterwards an old soldier called at the Bristol office for his letter, and could not possibly understand why it had been opened in the returned letter branch, and the contents sent to Lichfield. His fury was unbounded, and he consigned all and sundry to Hades. His papers were soon obtained for him from Lichfield, and his gratitude at getting them, was as effusively manifested as his disappointment had been in not finding the papers awaiting him on first application. His thanks were conveyed in the following terse communication:--

"Dear Boss,--A thousand pardons, everything comes right to those who wait. Patience is a virtue.

"Obt servt, W. H. ----."

"Sir," wrote a Bristol citizen on a postcard, "I have lost a ingine off 3 gine oneing to the delay of a post care wich Mr. ---- send of wine ts plaa to ingury and abould youre turly I ----, 10, ---- lane rielence Bristol." It was not at first apparent what the writer of the card actually required, but by degrees it was made out that what he meant was:--"I have lost an engagement of 3 guineas owing to the delay of a postcard which Mr. ---- sent, of Wine Street. Please to enquire and oblige, yours truly, I. ----, 10, ---- Lane, Residence, Bristol."

Danger lurks in unexpected places, even for Post Office cleaners. Packages which have remained in the returned letter office for the prescribed period have to be destroyed from time to time. Sometimes they contain chemicals. It chanced that at Bristol one of the charwomen, when pouring out hot water into a large waste bucket, was startled by the emission from the bucket of a fierce, bright, flame which badly burned her hand and caused her no small fright. The flame lasted for a minute. The fumes were overpowering, and unpleasantly pervaded the whole telegraph gallery above. Upon investigation, it appeared that another charwoman who had been instructed to "dispose" of a bottle of sodium amalgam, had carelessly emptied it into the waste bucket with the startling result narrated.

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The Post Office is ever progressing, and in course of time there will be further particulars for a future writer to relate concerning the "Bristol Royal Mail."

THE END

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Transcriber's Note: Discovered publisher's punctuation errors have been corrected. In addition, the following spelling errors have been corrected:

p. 22: 6th instant intead[instead] of on the first of the month. The

p. 136: in the chair, the Post Office is again roproved[reproved]

p. 163: about 30,000 letters. Birminghan[Birmingham] comes next in

p. 229: spoken of the disclipine[discipline] and training telegraph

p. 283: Office, hailng[hailing] from the Emerald Isle, had, like all

p. 164: pension or gratuity is given. The apppointment[appointment]

p. 112: Post Office now was was[delete second 'was'] the centre of

p. 153: not [been] offered, would most likely have been sent

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