Chapter 18

Bedreddin, Vizier of Yemen, had a young brother of singular beauty and kept strait watch over him. So he applied himself to seek a governor for him and coming upon an elder of dignified and reverend aspect, chaste and pious, lodged him in a house next his own, whence he used to come daily to the Vizier's dwelling, to teach the latter's brother. After awhile, the old man's heart was taken with love for his pupil and longing grew upon him and his entrails were troubled, till, one day, he made moan of his case to the boy, who said, 'What can I do, seeing that I may not leave my brother day or night? Thou seest how careful he is over me.' Quoth the governor, 'My lodging adjoins thine; so, when thy brother sleeps, do thou rise and entering the wardrobe, feign thyself asleep. Then come to the parapet of the roof and I will receive thee on the other side of the wall; so shalt thou sit with me awhile and return without thy brother's knowledge.' 'I hear and obey,' answered the boy. So, when awhile of the night was past, he entered the closet and waited till his brother lay down on his bed and was drowned in sleep, when he rose and going to the parapet of the roof, found the governor awaiting him, who gave him his hand and carried him to the sitting-chamber, where he had made ready various dainties for his entertainment, and they sat down to carouse.

Now it was the night of the full moon, and as they sat, passing the wine-cup to one another, her rays shone upon them, and the governor fell to singing. But, whilst they were thus in mirth and joyance and good cheer, such as confounds the wit and the sight and defies description, the Vizier awoke and missing his brother, arose in affright and found the door open. So he went up to the roof and hearing a noise of talk, peeped over the parapet and saw a light shining in the governor's lodging. He looked in and espied his brother and his governor sitting carousing: but the latter became aware of him and sang the following verses, cup in hand, to a lively measure:

He gave me wine to drink, of his mouth's nectar rare, Toasting with down of cheeks and what adjoineth there; Then passed with me the night, embracing, cheek to cheek, A loveling midst mankind unpeered and past compare. The full moon gazed on us all night; pray then to her, So to his brother she to tell of us forbear.

Now the Vizier was a merry man; so, when he heard this, he said, 'By Allah, I will not betray you!' And he went away and left them to their diversion.

THE LOVES OF THE BOY AND GIRL AT SCHOOL.

A boy and a girl once learnt together in a school, and the boy fell passionately in love with the girl. So, one day, when the other boys were heedless, he took her tablet[FN#93] and wrote on it the following verses:

Tell me, what sayst thou unto him, whom sickness for thy love Hath worn and wasted, till he's grown distraught and stupefied? Him who of passion maketh moan; for love and longing pain, That which is in his heart, indeed, no longer can he hide.

When the girl took her tablet, she read the verses and wept for pity of him; then wrote thereunder these others:

An if we see one languishing for very love of us, Our favours, surely, unto him shall nowise be denied. Yea, and of us he shall obtain that which he doth desire Of love-delight, whate'er to us in consequence betide.

Now it chanced that the teacher came in on them And taking the tablet, unnoticed, read what was written thereon. So he was moved to pity of their case and wrote on the tablet the following verses, in reply to those of the girl:

Favour thy lover, for he's grown distracted for desire, And reck thou not of punishment nor fear lest any chide. As for the master, have no dread of his authority, For he with passion an its pains aforetime hath been tried.

Presently, the girl's master entered the school and finding the tablet, read the above verses and wrote under them the following:

May Allah never separate your loves, whilst time abide, And may your slanderer be put to shame and mortified! But, for the master of the school, by Allah, all my life, A busier go-between than he I never yet espied.

Then he sent for the Cadi and the witnesses and married them on the spot. Moreover, he made them a marriage-feast and entreated them with exceeding munificence; and they abode together in joy and contentment, till there came to them the Destroyer of Delights and the Sunderer of Companies.

EL MUTELEMMIS AND HIS WIFE UMEIMEH.

It is related that El Mutelemmis[FN#94] once fled from En Numan ben Mundhir[FN#95] and was absent so long that the folk deemed him dead. Now he had a handsome wife, Umeimeh by name, and her family pressed her to marry again; but she refused, for that she loved her husband El Mutelemmis very dearly. However, they were instant with her, because of the multitude of her suitors, and importuned her till she at last reluctantly consented and they married her to a man of her own tribe.

On the night of the wedding, El Mutelemmis came back and hearing in the camp a noise of pipes and tabrets and seeing signs of festival, asked some of the children what was toward, to which they replied, 'They have married Umeimeh, widow of El Mutelemmis, to such an one, and he goes in to her this night.' When he heard this, he made shift to enter the house with the women and saw there the bride seated on her throne. By and by, the bridegroom came up to her, whereupon she sighed heavily and weeping, recited the following verses:

Ah would, (but many are the shifts of good and evil fate), I knew in what far land thou art, O Mutelemmis mine!

Now El Mutelemmis was a renowned poet: so he answered her with the following verse:

Right near at hand, Umeimeh! Know, whene'er the caravan Halted, I never ceased for thee with longing heart to pine.

When the bridegroom heard this, he guessed how the case stood and went forth from among them in haste, repeating the following verse:

I was in luck, but now I'm fall'n into the contrary. A hospitable house and room your reknit loves enshrine!

So El Mutelemmis took his wife again and abode with her in all delight and solace of life, till death parted them. And glory be to Him at whose command the earth and the heavens shall arise!

THE KHALIF HAROUN ER RESHID AND THE PRINCESS ZUBEIDEH IN THE BATH.

The Khalif Haroun er Reshid loved the Princess Zubeideh with an exceeding love and laid out for her a pleasaunce, in which he made a great pool and led thither water from all sides. Moreover, he set thereabout a screen of trees, which so grew and interlaced over the pool, that one could go in and wash, without being seen of any, for the thickness of the leafage. It chanced, one day, that Zubeideh entered the garden and coming to the basin, gazed upon its goodliness, and the limpidity of the water and the interlacing of the trees over it pleased her. Now it was a day of exceeding heat; so she put off her clothes and entering the pool, which was not deep enough to cover her, fell to pouring the water over herself from an ewer of silver.

The Khalif heard she was in the pool; so he left his palace and came down to spy upon her, through the screen of the leaves. He stood behind the trees and saw her naked, with all her secret charms displayed. Presently, she became aware of him and turning, saw him behind the trees and was ashamed that he should see her naked. So she laid her hands on her kaze, but it escaped from between them, by reason of its much greatness and plumpness; and the Khalif turned and went away, wondering and reciting the following verse:

I looked on her whom I adore And longing rose in me full sore.

But he knew not what to say next; so he sent for Abou Nuwas and bade him make a piece of verse commencing with the above line. 'I hear and obey,' replied the poet and in a twinkling extemporized the following lines:

I looked on her whom I adore, And longing rose in me full sore For a gazelle that ravished me, By double lote-trees shaded o'er. The water on her dainty part With silver ewer did she pour And would have hidden it, seeing me, But all too small her hands therefor. Would I were on it, wel-a-way, An hour or liefer two or more!

The Khalif smiled and made him a handsome present, and he went away rejoicing.

HAROUN ER RESHID AND THE THREE POETS.

The Khalif Haroun er Reshid was exceeding restless one night; so he rose and walked about his palace, till he happened on a damsel overcome with wine. Now he was greatly enamoured of this damsel; so he toyed with her and pulled her to him, whereupon her girdle fell down and her trousers were unloosed and he besought her of amorous dalliance. But she said to him, 'O Commander of the Faithful, wait till to-morrow night, for I am unprepared for thee, knowing not of thy coming.' So he left her and went away.

On the morrow, he sent a page to her to announce his visit to her apartment; but she sent back to him, saying, 'The day obliterates the promise of the night.' So he said to his minions, 'Make me somewhat of verse, introducing these words, "The day obliterates the promise of the night."' 'We hear and obey,' answered they; and Er Recashi[FN#96] came forward and recited the following:

By Allah, an thou feltst my longing and my pain, Repose had turned away from thee and taken flight. A maid hath made me love-distraught, nor visiting Nor being visited, a sad and love-lorn wight. She promised me her grace, then turned away and said, "The day obliterates the promise of the night."

Then Abou Musab came forward and recited these verses:

When wilt thou put away this dotage from thy spright? Thy heart is dazed and rest to thee forbidden quite. Is't not enough for thee to have a weeping eye And vitals still on fire for memory and despite? For self-conceit, indeed, he laugheth, when he saith, "The day obliterates the promise of the night."

Last came Abou Nuwas and recited the following:

Love was prolonged and far was union out of sight, Nor skilled it aught to feign aversion and despite. One day, she came into the palace, drunk with wine, But even her drunkenness with pudour was bedight. Her upper garments dropped and left her shoulders bare And loosened trousers showed the dwelling of delight; Yea, and the breeze shook hips, full heavy, and a shape, As 'twere a branch, whereon pomegranates twain unite. "Give me a tryst," quoth I; and she replied, "The place Of visiting will be to-morrow clean and right." Next day, I came and said, "Thy promise;" but quoth she, "The day obliterates the promise of the night."

The Khalif bestowed a myriad each on Er Recashi and Abou Musab, but bade strike off Abou Nuwas's head, saying, 'Thou west with us yesternight in the palace.' 'By Allah,' answered the poet, 'I slept not but in my own house! I was directed to what I said by thine own words as to the subject of the poem; and indeed quoth God the Most High (and He is the truest of all speakers), "As for poets (devils ensue them!) dost thou not see how they run wild in each valley and say that they do not?"'[FN#97] So the Khalif forgave him and bestowed on him two myriads of gold.

MUSAB BEN EZ ZUBEIR AND AAISHEH DAUGHTER OF TELHEH.

It is told of Musab ben ez Zubeir[FN#98] that he met Izzeh, who was one of the shrewdest of women, in Medina and said to her, 'I have a mind to marry Aaisheh,[FN#99] daughter of Telheh, and I would have thee go to her and spy out for me how she is made.' So she went and returning to Musab, said, 'I have seen her, and her face is more beautiful than health; she hath large and well-opened eyes, an aquiline nose and smooth, oval cheeks and a mouth like a cleft pomegranate, a neck like an ewer of silver and a bosom with two breasts like twin pomegranates, a slim waist and a slender belly, with a navel therein as it were a casket of ivory, and backside like a hummock of sand. Moreover, she hath plump thighs and legs like columns of alabaster; but I saw her feet to be large, and thou wilt fall short with her in time of amorous dalliance.' Upon this report, he married her and Izzeh invited Aaisheh and the women of the tribe of Kureish to her house, when Aaisheh sang the following, with Musab standing by:

The mouths of girls, with their odoriferous, Sweet breath and their witching smiles, are sweet to buss; Yet ne'er have I tasted them, but in thought of him; And by thought, indeed, the Ruler rules over us.

The night of his going in to her, he departed not from her, till after seven courses; and on the morrow, a freed-woman of his met him and said to him, 'May I be thy ransom! Thou art perfect, even in this.'

Quoth a certain woman, 'I was with Aaisheh, when her husband came in to her, and she lusted to him; so he fell upon her and she puffed and snorted and made use of all manner of rare motions and strange inventions, and I the while within hearing. So when he came out from her, I said to her, "How canst thou, with thy rank and nobility and condition, do thus, and I in thy house?" Quoth she, "A woman should bring her husband all of which she is mistress, by way of excitations and rare motions. What mislikest thou of this?" And I answered, "I would have this anights." "Thus is it by day," rejoined she, "and by night I do more than this; for, when he sees me, desire stirs in him and he falls on heat; so he puts out his hand to me and I obey him, and it is as thou seest."'

ABOUL ASWED AND HIS SQUINTING SLAVE-GIRL.

Aboul Aswed bought a native-born slave-girl, who was squint- eyed, and she pleased him; but his people decried her to him; whereat he wondered and spreading out his hands, recited the following verses:

They run her down to me, and yet no fault in her find I, Except perhaps it be a speck she hath in either eye. To compensate this fault, if fault it be, o' the upper parts She's slim and heavy of the parts beneath the waist that lie.

HAROUN ER RESHID AND THE TWO SLAVE-GIRLS.

The Khalif Haroun er Reshid lay one night between two slave-girls, one from Medina and the other from Cufa, and the latter rubbed his hands, whilst the former rubbed his feet and made his yard to stand up. Quoth the Cufan girl, 'I see thou wouldst keep the whole of the stock-in-trade to thyself; give me my share of it.' And the other answered, 'I have been told by Malik, on the authority of Hisham ibn Orweh,[FN#100] who had it of his [grand]father,[FN#101] that the Prophet said, "Whoso bringeth the dead to life, it is his."' But the Cufan took her unawares and pushing her away, took it all in her own hand and said, 'El Aamesh[FN#102] tells us, on the authority of Kheithemeh,[FN#103] who had it of Abdallah ben Mesoud,[FN#104] that the Prophet said, "Game belongeth to him who taketh it, not to him who raiseth it."'

THE KHALIF HAROUN ER RESHID AND THE THREE SLAVE-GIRLS.

The Khalif Haroun er Reshid lay once with three slave-girls, a Meccan, a Medinan and an Irakite. The Medina girl put her hand to his yard and handled it, whereupon it rose and the Meccan sprang up and drew it to herself. Quoth the other, 'What is this unjust aggression? I have heard of Malik,[FN#105] on the authority of Ez Zuhri,[FN#106] who had it of Abdallah ibn Salim,[FN#107] on the report of Said ben Zeid,[FN#108] that the Apostle (whom God bless and preserve) said, "Whoso revivifies a dead land, it is his."' And the Meccan answered, 'Sufyan[FN#109] tells us, on the authority of Abou Zenad,[FN#110] who had it of El Aarej,[FN#111] on the report of Abou Hureireh,[FN#112] that the Apostle of God said, "The game is his who catches it, not his who starts it."' But the Irak girl pushed them both away and taking it to herself, said, 'This is mine, till your contention be decided.'

THE MILLER AND HIS WIFE.

There was a miller, who had an ass to turn his mill; and he was married to a wicked wife, whom he loved; but she hated him and loved a neighbour of hers, who liked her not and held aloof from her. One night, the miller saw, in his sleep, one who said to him, 'Dig in such a spot of the ass's circuit in the mill, and thou shalt find a treasure.' When he awoke, he told his wife the dream and charged her keep it secret; but she told her neighbour, thinking to win his favour, and he appointed with her to come to her by night. So he came and they dug in the mill and found the treasure and took it forth. Then said he to her, 'How shall we do with this?' 'We will share it equally between us,' answered she; 'and do thou leave thy wife and I will cast about to rid me of my husband. Then shalt thou marry me, and when we are united, we will add the two halves of the treasure, one to the other, and it will be [all] in our hands.' Quoth he, 'I fear lest Satan seduce thee and thou take some man other than myself; for gold in the house is like the sun in the world. Meseems, therefore, it were better that the money be all in my hands, so thou mayst study to win free of thy husband and come to me.' 'I fear the like of thee,' rejoined she, 'and I will not yield up my part to thee; for it was I directed thee to it.' When he heard this, covetise prompted him to kill her; so he killed her and threw her body into the empty hole; but the day overtook him and hindered him from covering it up; so he took the treasure and went away.

Presently, the miller awoke and missing his wife, went into the mill, where he fastened the ass to the beam and shouted to it. It went on a little, then stopped; whereupon he beat it grievously; but the more he beat it, the more it drew back; for it was affrighted at the dead woman and could not go on. So he took out a knife and goaded it again and again, but still it would not budge. Then he was wroth with it, knowing not the cause of its obstinacy, and drove the knife into its flanks, and it fell down dead. When the sun rose, he saw his wife lying dead, in the place of the treasure, and great was his rage and sore his chagrin for the loss of the treasure and the death of his wife and his ass. All this came of his letting his wife into his secret and not keeping it to himself.

THE SIMPLETON AND THE SHARPER.

A certain simple fellow was once going along, haling his ass after him by the halter, when a couple of sharpers saw him and one said to his fellow, 'I will take that ass from yonder man.' 'How wilt thou do that?' asked the other. 'Follow me and I will show thee,' replied the first. So he went up to the ass and loosing it from the halter, gave the beast to his fellow; then clapped the halter on his own head and followed the simpleton, till he knew that the other had got clean off with the ass, when he stood still. The man pulled at the halter, but the thief stirred not; so he turned and seeing the halter on a man's neck, said to him, 'Who art thou?' Quoth the sharper, 'I am thine ass and my story is a strange one. Know that I have a pious old mother and came in to her one day, drunk; and she said to me, "O my son, repent to God the Most High of these thy transgressions." But I took the cudgel and beat her, whereupon she cursed me and God the Most High changed me into an ass and caused me fall into thy hands, where I have remained till now. However, to-day, my mother called me to mind and her heart relented towards me; so she prayed for me, and God restored me to my former shape of a man.' 'There is no power and no virtue but in God the Most High, the Supreme!' cried the simpleton. 'O my brother, I conjure thee by Allah, acquit me of what I have done with thee, in the way of riding and so forth.'

Then he let the sharper go and returned home, drunken with chagrin and concern. His wife asked him, 'What ails thee and where is the ass?' And he answered, 'Thou knowest not what was this ass; but I will tell thee.' So he told her the story, and she exclaimed, 'Woe worth us for God the Most High! How could we have used a man as a beast of burden, all this while?' And she gave alms and asked pardon of God. Then the man abode awhile at home, idle, till she said to him, 'How long wilt thou sit at home, idle? Go to the market and buy us an ass and do thy business with it.' Accordingly, he went to the market and stopping by the ass-stand, saw his own ass for sale. So he went up to it and clapping his mouth to its ear, said to it, 'Out on thee, thou good-for-nought! Doubtless thou hast been getting drunk again and beating thy mother! But, by Allah, I will never buy thee more!' And he left it and went away.

THE IMAM ABOU YOUSUF WITH HAROUN ER RESHID AND ZUBEIDEH.

The Khalif Haroun er Reshid went up one noon-tide to his couch, to lie down, and mounting, found thereon fresh semen; whereat he was startled and sore perturbed and troubled. So he called the princess Zubeideh and said to her, 'What is that spilt on the bed?' She looked at it and replied, 'O Commander of the Faithful, it is semen.' 'Tell me truly what this means,' said he; 'or I will lay violent hands on thee forthright.' 'O Commander of the Faithful,' answered she, 'indeed, I know not how it came there and I am guiltless of that whereof thou suspectest me.' So he sent for the Imam Abou Yousuf and told him the case. The Imam raised his eyes to the roof and seeing a crack therein, said to the Khalif, 'O Commander of the Faithful, the bat hath semen like that of a man, and this is bats' semen.' Then he called for a lance and thrust it into the crack, whereupon down fell the bat. In this manner the Khalif's suspicions were dispelled and Zubeideh's innocence was made manifest; whereat she gave vent to her joy and promised Abou Yousuf a liberal reward.

Now there were with her magnificent fruits, out of their season, and she knew of others in the garden; so she said to Abou Yousuf, 'O Imam of the Faith, which wouldst thou rather of the two kinds of fruits, those that are here or those that are not here?' 'Our code forbids us to pronounce judgment on the absent,' answered he. 'When they are present, we will give judgment.' So she caused bring the two kinds of fruits before him, and he ate of both. Quoth she, 'What is the difference between them?' And he answered, 'As often as I think to praise one kind, the other puts in its claim.' The Khalif laughed at his answer and made him a present. Zubeideh also gave him what she had promised him, and he went away, rejoicing. See, then, the blessed qualities of this Imam and how at his hands were made manifest the truth and the innocence of the lady Zubeideh.

THE KHALIF EL HAKIM AND THE MERCHANT.