Part 11

When fruit is brought on, a small fruit napkin is placed across the knee or held in the right hand, with which to hold the fruit, and when it is no longer needed, it should be laid beside the plate.

NAVY, SECRETARY OF--HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have, sir, the honor to remain your most obedient servant.

A social letter begins: My dear Mr. Wilson, and ends: I have the honor to remain most sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: Hon. John J. Wilson, Secretary of the Navy.

NEW ACQUAINTANCES.

WOMEN. New acquaintances should not be invited to entertainments unless agreeable to all concerned.

An entertainment can be given to meet new acquaintances if there be some special reason for so doing.

Elderly persons and professional people can send their cards to younger persons if they wish to continue acquaintance.

NEWCOMERS.

BALL INVITATIONS. It is allowable for a new- comer wishing to give a ball to borrow the visiting list of some friend; but she should enclose in each invitation a calling card of this friend, so that the invited ones may know that the friend is acting as a sponsor.

DUTY OF. No effort should be made to obtain recognition of older residents.

Visits from neighbors should be returned within a week. If from any reason a newcomer is unable to call, a note stating the reason should be sent.

If visit of neighbor's male relative is desired, a woman may send him a written or verbal invitation; but if visit is not desired, no notice is taken of his card, in the event of one having been left.

RESIDENTS' DUTY TO MEN. When calling, kinswoman leaves cards of all the male members of family who are in society. If these cards left by kinswoman are not followed by an invitation to call, it is presumed that the acquaintance is not desired. Men can not call upon women of the family of new resident, unless invited to do so by either verbal or written message.

RESIDENTS' DUTY TO WOMEN. The newcomer receives the first call from the older resident, which should be made within a reasonable time. Women making the first call, leave their own card and those of the male members of the family.

It is unnecessary to be introduced in the absence of letters of introduction. Visits should be of short duration.

OLIVES are eaten with the fingers.

OPERA. See THEATRE.

ORANGES, served in divided sections, sweetened, and the seeds removed, should be eaten with the fork. If served whole, cut into suitable portions. Remove seed and skin.

ORGANIST AT WEDDINGS. The organist is selected by the bride, but the fee is paid by the groom.

OVERCOAT--MEN CALLING ON WOMEN. When making a formal or brief call, the overcoat should be left in the hall.

P. P. C. CARDS (VISITING). These letters--standing for Pour prendre conge (To take leave)--are written in the lower left-hand corner of the visiting-card. These cards are used as a formal farewell to such friends and acquaintances whose friendship it is desired to continue.

They may be left in person, or sent upon departure from city or winter or summer resort. They are rarely used in brief visits, and should only be used at the close of a season.

Care should be exercised in sending them, as an oversight in so doing may cause the loss of good friends.

PAGES AT WEDDINGS. At the wedding, if pages are present, they are usually dressed in satin court costumes, and carry the bride's train.

PALL-BEARERS. It is not good taste to ask relatives to be pall-bearers. The usual number is six to eight elderly men for elderly person, and of young men for a young man. Six young women in white would be a suitable number to act as pall-bearers for a young woman.

Pall-bearers should be asked either by note or by a representative of the head of the family of the deceased.

The pall-bearers assemble at the house at the appointed hour, and there take the carriages reserved for them. They disperse after the church service.

Except in the case of young women, carriages are not sent to bring pall-bearers to the house.

CALLS. After accepting an invitation to act as a pall-bearer, a man should call at the house of the bereaved and leave his card.

A few days after the funeral he should call again and leave his card. If he wishes, he may simply ask at the door after the women of the family.

DRESS. The pall-bearers wear black frock coat, trousers, and waistcoat, a black silk hat with a mourning band, black shoes, and black kid gloves. The linen should be white

FLOWERS. Unless there has been a request not to send flowers, a pall-bearer may do so after his first call.

If he wishes, a few days after the funeral he may send flowers to the women of the family with his card, on which should be written: With the compliments of -----.

INVITATIONS. The invitation should be promptly accepted or declined, and if accepted only illness or unavoidable absence from the city would excuse a man from attending.

PAPER WEDDING. The first wedding anniversary is called the paper wedding, and is not usually celebrated. If, however, it is celebrated, the invitations may bear the words: No presents received. Congratulations should be extended in accepting or declining the invitations. Any article of paper would be an appropriate gift. An entertainment should follow.

PARTIES. These are less formal than balls.

They generally begin at nine or nine-thirty, with dancing at ten-thirty or eleven. The supper precedes the dancing. Those who do not take part in the dancing may leave before it begins.

INVITATIONS. These are engraved, giving hour for beginning in lower left-hand corner, and should be sent two weeks in advance. One envelope only need be used. They should be answered promptly.

PATRONESSES. It is customary for the management of any institution giving a public ball to formally invite six, eight, or more married women to act as patronesses, and for their names to appear on the invitations. If badges are worn, each patroness is sent one or given one at the ball-room.

The patronesses, after being welcomed at the ball by the management committees, take their places, ready to receive the guests.

The Committee of Arrangements should look after the patronesses, introduce distinguished guests to them, escort them to supper and finally to their carriages.

See also COTILLIONS BY SUBSCRIPTIONS-- PATRONESSES. DANCES.

PEACHES should be quartered and the quarters peeled, then taken up by the fingers and eaten.

PEAS are eaten with a fork.

PLUMS AND GRAPES should be eaten one by one, and the pits allowed to fall noiselessly into the half-closed hand and then transferred to the plate.

POSTAL CARDS. It is wise to restrict the use of postals to impersonal communications; but if they must be used, the message should be brief with an apology for its use. It is a good plan in addition to omit the usual My dear, and to sign with the initials only and the full surname.

POSTPONING DINNERS See CANCELING DINNERS.

POSTPONING WEDDINGS. See WEDDINGS--INVITATIONS RECALLED.

PRECEDENCE.

DINNERS. See DINNERS--PRECEDENCE.

FUNERALS. See FUNERALS--PRECEDENCE.

THEATRE. See THEATRE--PRECEDENCE.

PRESENTS. See GIFTS.

PRESIDENT--HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have the honor to remain your most obedient servant.

A social letter begins: My dear Mr. President, and ends: I have the honor to remain most sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: President John Wilson.

PRINCE, ROYAL--HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Sir, may it please your Royal Highness, and ends: I have the honor to remain, sir, your Royal Highness' humble servant.

A social letter begins: Dear Sir, and ends: Your Royal Highness' most obedient servant.

The address on the envelope is: To His Royal Highness, the Prince of Wales.

PRINCESS, 'ROYAL-HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Madam, may it please your Royal Highness, and ends: Your Royal Highness' most obedient servant.

A social letter begins: Dear Madam, and ends: Your Royal Highness' most obedient servant.

The address on the envelope is: To Her Royal Highness, the Princess of Wales.

PRIVATE WEDDINGS. These are attended only by intimate friends and members of the family, and vary but little from home weddings.

If the family is in mourning the cards are issued with the name of bride and groom and new address, together with card having bride's maiden name, and the announcement cards are sent after the ceremony.

Afternoon dress should be worn at an afternoon wedding, and evening dress at an evening wedding.

PROPOSALS OF MARRIAGE. The time, manner, and details of proposals of marriage are appropriately left to the good taste and judgment of the groom. If the proposal is rejected, good taste, womanly refinement, and courteous consideration demand that it be kept an inviolate secret, and any such breach of confidence may be rightly deemed the act of a woman without taste or tact, and unworthy of respect.

Proposals by women, while permissible, are not customary.

PUBLIC BALLS, By public balls are meant county and charity balls, and balls given by social institutions where dancing is the main feature. These public balls differ from private ones in that all the duties of the hostess fall upon some committees.

These committees would follow the same rules as laid down for a hostess--issuing engraved invitations from fourteen to seventeen days in advance, engaging a caterer, etc.

The etiquette for a public ball is the same as for a private one, save that guests arrive and depart when they please without taking leave of those who receive, and men wishing introductions apply for them to the Floor or Reception Committee.

At the cloak-rooms a small fee is paid to the attendant.

SEE ALSO all entries under Balls.

BADGES. It is customary for the men and women on the committees to wear on the left side of the breast ornamental and embroidered badges, with the official position designated on it.

COMMITTEE. The committee at a public ball takes the place of the hostess, filling all her duties and offices.

PATRONESSES. It is customary for the management formally to invite six, eight, or more married women to act as patronesses of the ball, and for their names to appear on the invitations. If badges are prepared for the patronesses, one is sent to each patroness or handed to her on the evening of the dance.

The patronesses should be welcomed at the ball by the management, and they then take their position ready to receive the guests.

The management should look after the patronesses, to see that they are taken into supper, to introduce prominent guests to them, and, finally, to escort the patronesses to their carriages.

PUBLIC PLACES. SEE ALSO ELEVATORS. RESTAURANTS, STREET-CARS. STREET ETIQUETTE.

R. S. V. P. The use of these letters-standing for Repondez, s'il vous plait (Answer, if you please)-is decreasing. All invitations to which acceptances are expected should be answered at once. If preferred, however, the above abbreviations may be used on the following: invitations to ceremonious receptions, breakfasts, luncheons, dinners, and to meet a prominent person.

RAILROAD-MEN. A man should remove his hat in a parlor-car, but not in a day coach.

RECALLING WEDDING INVITATIONS. When from some good reason a wedding has to be canceled or postponed, the parents of the bride should send, as soon as possible, printed notices, giving reasons to all the guests.

RECEPTIONS. Reception days are placed in the lower left-hand corner of visiting-cards-as, UNTIL LENT, or, In JANUARY-and may be either engraved or written.

Daughters have no reception day of their own, but receive on their mother's reception day.

The etiquette at receptions is the same as at afternoon teas.

SEE ALSO AFTERNOON TEAS. AT HOMES.

HOURS. Afternoon receptions are held from 4 to 7 P.M.

Evening receptions are held from 9 to 11 P.M.

INVITATIONS, ACCEPTING OR DECLINING. These should be acknowledged within a week, either by a letter accepting, or declining with regret.

INTRODUCTIONS. The man should seek an introduction to any woman he wants to meet.

The hostess makes what introductions she deems proper.

DRESS. For an afternoon reception guests should wear afternoon dress, and for an evening reception evening dress.

AFTERNOON, GIVEN BY BACHELORS. See BACHELORS' TEAS.

EVENING. The etiquette is the same as for an afternoon tea (formal), save that no cards are left by the guests, and that the guests should wear evening dress.

See also AFTERNOON TEAS (FORMAL).

WEDDING. See WEDDING RECEPTIONS.

REFRESHMENTS.

WEDDING RECEPTIONS. The refreshments are placed on tables, and the guests help themselves or are helped by the bridesmaids. The groom and bride are waited upon by the guests.

REGISTER, SIGNING OF. This is sometimes done by the bride and the groom. This takes place in the vestry, and the best man signs as chief witness and some of the guests as witnesses.

REHEARSALS, WEDDING. Rehearsals should be held even for a quiet home wedding, and at a sufficiently early date to insure the presence of all who are to participate.

REPORTERS AT WEDDINGS. If such is the wish of the family of the bride, the best man attends to the reporters, and furnishes them with the names of groom, bride, relatives, friends, description of gowns, and other suitable details.

RESIDENCE, CHANGE OF--WOMEN. After a change of residence, the cards of the entire family should be sent out as soon as possible.

RESTAURANTS. If at a table, and a woman bows, the man should rise and bow in return. If a man is one of a party sitting at a table, and a woman with her escort stops to pass greetings, he should rise and stand until they depart.

One man introduced to another who is surrounded by male friends should rise to acknowledge the honor of the introduction.

When a man is with a woman he should exercise great care in recognizing male acquaintances who may be in doubtful company. He should avoid being in such company himself when in such places.

Smoking in restaurants is a general custom. The rules of the house govern this.

All fees to the waiters should be paid by the one who pays the bills. If a woman is paying her own bill when with a man, it is in order for her to fee the waiter.

RIBBONS AT CHURCH WEDDINGS. One way of distinguishing the pews reserved for the family, relatives, and dearest friends of both families is the placing of white ribbons at the dividing pews. Before the arrival of the bride, the ushers, in pairs, at the same time, untie these ribbons, and stretch them along the outside of these pews, and thus enclose the guests and bar further intrusion.

If these ribbons are used, it is a good plan to enclose in the wedding invitation a card giving number of pew.

The advantage of not using ribbons is the avoidance of any possible discrimination.

RICE AT WEDDINGS. The throwing of rice is to be discouraged; but if it is to be done, the maid of honor should prepare packages of rice and hand them to the guests, who throw it after the bridal couple as they leave the house for their wedding trip.

RIDING.

MEN. When riding with a woman, a man should always assist her both to mount and to alight, even if a groom is present.

It is customary for the woman to set the pace, and for the man, who always rides on her right, to accommodate himself to her-- trotting, galloping, or walking his horse as she may do.

He should always be ready to open all gates for her, and to do all things that will make the riding pleasant for her. If at a fox-hunt, this would mean that he must be ready to sacrifice much of his personal pleasure that she may enjoy herself.

DRESS. There is a perfectly well-accepted dress for men who ride in the park, though it is open to elderly men to wear clothes less pronounced.

The correct dress is full riding-breeches, close-fitting at the knee, leggings, a high-buttoned waistcoat, and a coat with the conventional short cutaway tails. The hat is an alpine or a derby, and the tie the regulation stock. These, with riding-gloves and a riding-crop, constitute the regular riding-dress for a young man.

A man should always consult his tailor, that the dress in all its details may be strictly up to date.

WOMEN--DRESS. There is a well-prescribed riding-dress for women as for men. The habit of dark material, with skirt falling just over the feet when in the saddle, and the close-fitting waist, with long or short tails, together with the white collar and black or white tie, constitute the regulation dress. The derby hat is smaller than formerly. Gloves of a dark color and a crop with a bone handle are always in place. Any jewelry, save that which is absolutely necessary, should be shunned.

In summer it is permissible to modify this costume.

As in the case of a man, a woman should consult a tailor of good practical experience, that her costume may be in the correct style.

RING, ENGAGEMENT. See ENGAGEMENT RING.

RING, WEDDING. See WEDDING RING.

RISING FROM THE TABLE. The signal to leave the table is always given by the women, and the men rise to let the women pass. At a formal dinner the signal is given by the hostess.

SALT is best taken up with the tip of the knife.

SALTED NUTS are eaten with the fingers.

SEAT OF HONOR is at the right of the host.

SECOND HELPING. At formal dinner parties, luncheons, and breakfasts, second helpings are never offered by the host or hostess, and should not be asked for by the guests. This is only permissible at a small dinner party or at the daily family meal.

Of course, this does not apply to a second glass of water, for which the guest asks, or for wine. It is the duty of the waiter to see that the guest is constantly supplied.

SECOND MARRIAGES. See WIDOWS--WEDDINGS.

SECRETARY OF AGRICULTURE. See AGRICULTURE, SECRETARY OF.

SECRETARY OF COMMERCE. See COMMERCE, SECRETARY OF.

SECRETARY OF INTERIOR. SEE INTERIOR, SECRETARY OF.

SECRETARY OF NAVY. SEE NAVY, SECRETARY OF.

SECRETARY OF STATE. See STATE, SECRETARY OF.

SECRETARY OF TREASURY. See TREASURY, SECRETARY OF.

SECRETARY OF WAR. SEE WAR, SECRETARY OF.

SEEDS should be removed from the mouth with the aid of a fork, or dropped into the half-closed hand.

SENATOR--HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have, sir, the honor to remain your most obedient servant.

A social letter begins: My dear Senator Wilson, and ends: Believe me, most sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: Senator John J. Wilson, or, To the Hon. John J. Wilson.

SERVANTS-TIPPING. It is customary for guests leaving a house after a visit to tip the servants, unless positively requested by the hostess not to do so. The average tip would be one dollar, with more for extra attention.

SHAKING HANDS.

DANCES. It is not customary to shake hands at formal dances.

HOST AND HOSTESS. The host and the hostess should shake hands with each guest as they arrive.

If guest takes leave of host and hostess, they should shake hands. If they are surrounded by guests, a pleasant nod of farewell is admissible.

MEN. At a wedding, the opera, or a dance, and all very formal occasions, gloves should not be removed when shaking hands.

If the hostess wears gloves at any formal affair, a man wears his when he shakes hands with her. He should give a slight pressure only.

A man with hands gloved should never shake hands with a woman without an apology for so doing, unless she likewise wears gloves. A sudden meeting, etc., may make a handshaking in gloves unavoidable. Unless the other party is gloved, a man should apologize.

When men are introduced to men, they always shake hands. It is bad form to crush the hand when shaking it.

When introduced to a woman, men should bow, but not offer to shake hands.

CALLS. If the woman is seated when a man enters the room, she rises to greet him, and, if she wishes, shakes hands. She has the option to shake hands or not, and should make the first advances. It is bad form for him to do so.

WOMEN. Upon introduction, a woman may shake hands with either men or women, but a slight inclination of the body, a pleasant smile, and an appropriate remark are more correct.

A young girl, upon being introduced to an older woman, should await the action of the elder, who will shake hands if kindly disposed.

If one person extends the hand, it should be accepted without the slightest hesitation, to avoid embarrassment.

SIGNING LETTERS. See ADDRESSING AND SIGNING LETTERS.

SILK WEDDINGS. This is the name of the forty-fifth wedding anniversary, and is now seldom observed. If it is, any article of silk would be appropriate as a gift, and congratulations may be extended in accepting or declining the invitations. The invitations may have the words: No presents received. An entertainment usually follows.

SILVER WEDDINGS. After twenty-five years of married life, the silver wedding may be celebrated. On the invitations sent out may be engraved the words: No presents received.

Congratulations may be extended in accepting or declining the invitation. Any article of silver is appropriate as a gift. An entertainment follows.

At a silver wedding the invitations may be appropriately engraved in a silver-gray color, and the decorations are usually of the same color.