Part 10

KISS, WEDDING. The kiss in the wedding ceremony is being done away with, especially at church weddings. Only the bride's parents and her most intimate friends should kiss her, and for others to do so is no longer good form.

KNIFE AND FORK. The knife is always held in the right hand, and is only used for cutting the food. The fork is used not only in eating fish, meat, vegetables, and made dishes, but also ices, frozen puddings, melons, salads, oysters, clams, lobsters, and terrapin.

The knife should never be used to carry food to the mouth.

See also SPOON.

KNIGHT--HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have the honor to remain, sir, your obedient servant.

A social letter begins: Dear Sir John Wilson, and ends: Believe me, dear Sir John, faithfully yours.

The address on the envelope is: To Sir John Wilson.

WIFE OF. See Wife of Knight.

LAUNDRESS--TIPS. Guests at the end of a house party do not tip the laundress unless she has done special work for them.

LEATHER WEDDING. This is the twelfth anniversary of the wedding-day, and is not usually observed. If, however, it is observed, the invitations may bear the words: No presents received, and congratulations may be extended in its acceptance or declination. Any article of leather would be an appropriate gift. An entertainment usually follows.

LETTERS.

ADDRESSING. See ADDRESSING AND SIGNING LETTERS, and also under title of person addressed --as, GOVERNOR, MAYOR, etc.

WRITTEN AFTER HOUSE PARTIES. If the visit has been more than two days in length, a guest should write to the hostess a short letter, telling of his pleasant visit and safe journey home.

CONCLUSION OF. See CONCLUSION OF A LETTER.

OF CONDOLENCE. See CONDOLENCE, LETTERS OF.

OF INTRODUCTION. See INTRODUCTION, LETTERS OF.

LETTUCE leaves should not be cut, but folded up with a fork, and then lifted to the mouth. In the event of these being too large for this treatment, they should be broken into suitable pieces with the fork.

LICENSE, MARRIAGE. A license, when required by State law, should be obtained by the groom and handed to the officiating clergyman the day before the ceremony. Usually a small fee is charged, and the details, when entered upon the clerk's records, are open to public inspection. The day need not be named, and until the marriage is solemnized the license has no binding effect.

LUNCHEONS. Usually only women are invited to these entertainments. Oddities, such as pink, blue, and yellow luncheons, are not in good taste. They should be as simple as possible.

Informal luncheons are the same as informal breakfasts. A more formal luncheon is proper when introducing a special guest.

Small tables are used, and diagrams of their arrangement are placed in the dressing-room, designating the places of the guests.

CALLS. Calls should be made a week after entertainment.

WOMEN. Women dress in visiting toilettes and wear their bonnets, laying aside their wraps in the dressing-room. Gloves should be removed at table.

After coffee, the guests should take their leave, making some gracious remark to the hostess.

Calls should be made a week after the entertainment.

GIVEN BY BACHELORS. See Bachelors' Luncheons.

GUESTS. Only women, as a rule, attend luncheons. For further details, see LUNCHEONS--WOMEN.

HOSTESS. Introductions take place in the parlor. At the appointed hour the hostess leads the way to the drawing-room, followed by the guests.

The hostess and principal guest should sit at one of the centre-tables. Between the courses the hostess and two of the women seated with her rise and change seats with others. This may be done by others also if they desire. They take their napkins with them.

HOURS. The hour is from 1 to 2 P.M.

INTRODUCTIONS. Introductions take place in the parlor.

INVITATIONS. Cards are engraved, and sent two weeks in advance.

MEN--LEAVING CARDS. If men are invited, they should, after a luncheon, leave a card for host and hostess, whether the invitation was accepted or not; or it may be sent by mail or messenger, with an apology for so doing.

MAIDS--TIPS. It is customary for guests leaving after a visit at a private house to remember the maid who has taken care of the room by giving her a reasonable tip. A woman should give more for extra attention.

MAID OF HONOR. This important person is selected by the bride, and acts for her in all details, being virtually mistress of ceremonies and filling a position requiring administrative ability and tact. She acts in the same capacity as the best man does for the groom.

She is invited, of course, to the dinner given by the bride to the bridesmaids.

She fulfils whatever duties the bride has been unable, from press of time, to attend to --as, making calls, etc.

CHURCH. She goes to the church with one of the parents of the bride, and meets the bride and the bridesmaids in the vestibule. In the procession she follows behind the bridesmaids, and precedes the flower girl, if there is one--otherwise the bride. On their arrival at the altar she takes her place by the side of the bride, and is ready at the plighting of the troth to take the bride's glove and bouquet, and returns them to her at the end of the ceremony.

After the congratulations of the clergyman, she parts the bridal veil, arranges the bride's train, and follows the bride down the aisle to the vestibule.

Here, after giving her best wishes to the bride, she takes her carriage to the bride's house to take part in the reception or breakfast.

DAY OF WEDDING. She should be at the house of the bride on the morning of the wedding-day to assist the bride's mother, to see that the trousseau is all ready and packed, that the bridesmaids are on time, and to attend to the many details liable to arise.

DRESS. Her dress should be some delicate color other than white, so as not to detract from the bride, and should be subdued in comparison. It may be, and usually is, more elegant in quality than that of the bridesmaids.

WEDDING BREAKFAST. The best man escorts the maid of honor, and they are usually seated at the bridal table.

WEDDING RECEPTION. She stands next the bride to receive with her, and also retires with her to assist the latter in exchanging her wedding dress for the traveling-dress.

It is her privilege to cast a slipper at the carriage which takes away the married couple, and her duty to prepare packages of rice, which are given to the guests to be thrown after the married couple as they leave the house.

MAIL, INVITATIONS SENT BY. All invitations should be sent by mail and verbal ones avoided.

MAIL OR MESSENGER, SENDING CARDS BY. See CARDS, VISITING--SENDING BY MAIL OR MESSENGER.

MAN SERVANTS--TIPS. It is customary for a man, at the end of a house party, to give to the man servant who has acted as his valet a suitable tip.

MARCHIONESS-HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Madam, and ends: I have the honor to remain your Ladyship's most obedient servant.

The address on the envelope is: To the Most Noble the Marchioness of Kent.

A social letter begins: Dear Lady Kent, and ends: Believe me, dear Lady Kent, very sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: To the Marchioness of Kent.

MARCHIONESS, DOWAGER--HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Madam, and ends: I have the honor to remain your Ladyship's most obedient servant.

A social letter begins: Dear Lady Kent, and ends: Believe me, dear Lady Kent, very sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope in both cases is: To the Dowager Marchioness of Kent, or To Mary, Marchioness of Kent.

MARQUIS--HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: My Lord Marquis, and ends: I have the honor to be your Lordship's obedient servant.

The address on the envelope is: To the Most Noble the Marquis of Kent.

A social letter begins: Dear Lord Kent and ends: Believe me, Lord Kent, very sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: To the Marquis of Kent.

MARQUIS.

DAUGHTER OF. See DAUGHTER OF MARQUIS.

WIFE OF YOUNGER SON OF. See WIFE OF YOUNGER SON OF MARQUIS.

YOUNGER SON OF. See SON (YOUNGER) OF MARQUIS.

MARKING WEDDING PRESENTS. While it is not strictly necessary that wedding presents be marked, yet it is customary, and they should always be marked with the bride's maiden name, unless specially intended for the groom's individual use.

MATINEES. Proper music should be provided.

The refreshment-room should be within easy reach. Light dainties should be served occasionally to those not caring to go to the refreshment-room.

DRESS. If after six o'clock, evening dress should be worn; otherwise, afternoon dress.

HOST. The head of the house need not be present.

HOSTESS. The hostess and those assisting her should not dance, unless all her guests are provided with partners or are otherwise entertained.

INVITATIONS. These may be written or engraved, with Dancing and the hour for beginning in the lower left-hand corner. They should be sent two weeks in advance, and should be promptly answered.

MEN. Gloves should be worn when dancing. See also BALLS. COTILLIONS. DANCES. DANCING.

MAYOR OF A CITY--HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Sir, or Your Honor, and ends: I have the honor, sir, to remain your obedient servant.

A social letter begins: My dear Mayor Wilson, or, Dear Mr. Wilson, and ends: Believe me, most sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: His Honor, the Mayor of Kent, John J. Wilson.

MEN.

ADDRESSING ENVELOPES. See ADDRESSING ENVELOPES--MEN.

AFTERNOON DRESS. See AFTERNOON DRESS--MEN.

AFTERNOON TEAS. See AFTERNOON TEAS--MEN.

BACHELORS' DINNERS. See BACHELORS' DINNERS--MEN.

BACHELORS' TEAS. See BACHELORS' TEAS--MEN.

BALLS. See BALLS--MEN.

BICYCLING. See BICYCLING--MEN.

BOWING. See BOWING--MEN.

BREAKFASTS. See BREAKFASTS--MEN.

CALLS. See CALLS--MEN.

CARDS. See CARDS, VISITING--MEN.

CHAPERONES. See CHAPERONES--MEN.

CHRISTENINGS. See CHRISTENINGS--MEN.

CONCLUSION OF LETTERS. See CONCLUSION OF A LETTER--MEN.

COTILLIONS BY SUBSCRIPTIONS. See COTILLIONS BY SUBSCRIPTIONS--MEN.

DANCES. See DANCES--MEN.

DANCING. See DANCING--MEN.

DEBUTANTE. See DEBUTANTE--MEN.

DINNERS. See DINNERS--MEN.

DRIVING. See DRIVING--MEN.

DRESS. See DRESS--MEN.

ENGAGEMENT. See ENGAGEMENT--MEN.

EVENING DRESS. See EVENING DRESS--MEN.

FLOWERS. See FLOWERS--MEN.

FUNERALS. See FUNERALS--MEN.

GARDEN PARTIES. See GARDEN PARTIES--MEN.

GLOVES. See GLOVES--MEN.

HIGH TEA. See HIGH TEA--MEN.

HOUSE PARTIES. See HOUSE PARTIES--MEN.

INTRODUCTIONS. See INTRODUCTIONS--MEN.

INVITATIONS. See INVITATIONS--MEN.

JEWELRY. See JEWELRY--MEN.

LUNCHEONS. See LUNCHEONS--MEN.

MORNING DRESS. See MORNING DRESS--MEN.

MOURNING. See MOURNING--MEN.

NEWCOMER, RESIDENTS' DUTY TO. See NEWCOMER, RESIDENTS' DUTY TO MEN. RIDING. See RIDING--MEN.

SALUTATIONS. See SALUTATIONS--MEN.

SHAKING HANDS. See SHAKING HANDS--MEN.

STATIONERY. See STATIONERY--MEN.

STREET-CARS. See STREET-CARS--MEN.

STREET ETIQUETTE. See STREET ETIQUETTE--MEN.

THEATRE PARTIES. See THEATRE PARTIES--MEN.

TITLES. See TITLES--MEN.

TRAVELING. See TRAVELING--MEN.

WEDDINGS. See WEDDINGS--MEN.

MESSENGER, SENDING CARDS BY. See CARDS, VISITING-- SENDING BY MAIL OR MESSENGER.

MINISTER (PROTESTANT)-HOW ADDRESSED, An official letter begins: Reverend Dear Sir, and ends: I remain sincerely yours.

A social letter begins: Dear Mr. Wilson, and ends: I beg to remain sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: The Reverend John J. Wilson. but if the clergyman holds the degree of D.D. (Doctor of Divinity), the address may be: The Reverend John J. Wilson, D.D., or Reverend Dr. John J. Wilson.

MINISTER. See CLERGYMAN.

MISS. This is the prefix both in conversation, correspondence, and on the visiting-card of the eldest daughter, the next daughter being known as Miss Annie Smith; but on the death or marriage of the eldest daughter, she becomes Miss Smith.

MONOGRAMS. If men and women wish, these may be stamped in the latest colors on their stationery. When the address is stamped, it is not customary to stamp the monogram.

The latest fashion in the style of monograms require that they should be the size of a ten-cent piece.

All individual eccentricities of facsimiles of handwriting, etc., should be avoided.

It is not customary to have the monogram on the flap of the envelope.

If sealing-wax is used, it should be of some dull color.

MORNING DRESS. MEN. Morning costume consists of a dark frock coat, with vest and light trousers. This can be worn at any entertainment occurring in the daytime--as, weddings, luncheons, receptions of all kinds, matinees, or ceremonious visits.

Anything worn is admissible in morning dress, a business suit, cutaway, sack suit, hats or caps, and undressed kid gloves of a dark color.

At out-of-town resorts, golf, wheeling, and yachting costumes suitable for outdoor sport may be worn in the morning.

It is considered the correct thing for a man to tie his own tie instead of buying them ready made.

See also AFTERNOON DRESS--MEN. EVENING DRESS--MEN.

MOTHER. A mother should receive an invitation for any function to which her daughters are invited, and should go and return with them.

DEBUTS. The mother and the elder unmarried daughter, prior to the debut, calls formally upon those who are to be invited. She stands at her daughter's side to receive the congratulations of the guests, and at a dance she selects the first partner to dance with the debutante, and at the dinner or supper is escorted by the most distinguished man. See also CHAPERONE.

MOTHER OF BRIDE. At the wedding reception she is escorted by the father of the groom, and receives with the married couple.

At the wedding breakfast she is escorted by the father of the groom.

MOTHER OF GROOM. At the wedding reception she receives with the married couple.

At the wedding breakfast she is taken in by the father of the bride, following after the ushers and the maids of honor.

MOURNING. Those in mourning for parent, child, brother, or husband should not be seen at any public function or private entertainment before six months have passed.

CARDS. These are the same size as visiting-cards. A black border is used, the width to be regulated by the relationship to the deceased relative.

They should be sent to indicate temporary retirement from and re-entrance into society.

Within a month after death in a family friends should leave cards. The persons receiving the same should acknowledge the remembrance and sympathy when they are ready to resume their social functions. This may be done by letter or card.

MEN. Mourning cards are the same size as visiting-cards, and a black border is used, the width to be regulated by the relationship of deceased relative.

WOMEN. Mourning cards should be sent, to indicate temporary retirement from society. Later cards should be sent, to indicate return to society.

CHILDREN. Children under twelve need not be dressed in mourning, though they often are. Only the lightest material should be used. Girls of more advanced age do not wear veils, but crape may be worn in hat or dress, according to taste.

For parent, brother, or sister, mourning is worn for about one year.

MEN. Men wear mourning one year for loss of wife.

A crape band should be worn around the hat, its width being determined by the nearness of the relative mourned for. It is usually removed after eight months.

A widower wears mourning for one year, or, if he wishes, eighteen months, and for a brother, sister, parent, or a child, from six months to a year, as he desires. For the loss of other relatives, duration of mourning is generally regulated by the members of the family.

The wearing of a black band on the coat sleeve in token of half-mourning is an English custom, and is somewhat practised in this country.

STATIONERY-MEN. A widower uses a black border about one-third of an inch on his stationery, and this at intervals is diminished.

All stamping should be done in black.

WOMEN. A widow's stationery should be heavily bordered, and is continued as long as she is in deep mourning. This is gradually decreased, in accordance with her change of mourning.

All embossing or stamping should be done in black.

WEDDINGS. Mourning should never be worn at a wedding, but it should be laid aside temporarily, the wearer appearing in purple.

WIDOWS. A widow should wear crape with a bonnet having a small border of white. The veil should be long, and worn over the face for three months, after which a shorter veil may be worn for a year, and then the face may be exposed. After six months white and lilac may be used, and colors resumed after two years.

WOMEN. The mourning dress of a woman for parent, sister, brother, or child is the same as that worn by a widow, save the white bonnet ruche--the unmistakable mark of a widow.

For parents and children, deepest mourning is worn at least one year, and then the change is gradually made by the addition of lighter material or half-mourning.

For other members of the family--as, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, etc.--black clothes should be worn, but not heavy mourning.

Complimentary mourning is worn for three months; this does not necessitate crape and veil, but any black material can be used.

WOMEN, FOR CHILDREN. For a child, mourning is usually worn for six months, thereafter substituting black and white.

FOR BROTHER AND SISTER, ETC. Mourning for a brother or sister, step-parents, or grandparents is the same as for parents, but the time is shorter, generally about six months. For an aunt, uncle, or cousin the time is three months.

FOR FIANCE. In the event of the death of a woman's betrothed shortly before the date of the wedding, she may wear black for a short period or full mourning for a year.

FOR HUSBANDS. Mourning cards are sent out, to indicate that they are not making or receiving calls.

Mourning is generally worn for two years, and sometimes much longer. Woolen material of the deepest black and crape should be worn during the first year.

When out-of-doors a crape veil should be worn for a year, or at least three months, covering the face, or, if preferred, the veil may be thrown over the shoulder, and a small one of tulle, or other suitable material, edged with crape, worn over the face.

A crape bonnet should be worn, and a very small white ruche may be added if desired.

After the first year a gradual change to lighter mourning may be made by discarding the widow's cap and shortening the veil. Dull silks are used in place of crape, according to taste. In warm weather lighter materials can be worn--as, pique, nun's veiling, or white lawn.

Black furs and sealskin may be worn. Precious stones, such as diamonds and pearls, may be used if mounted in black enamel. Gold jewelry should not be used. A woman should avoid all pretensions to excessive styles.

FOR HUSBAND'S RELATIVES. A married woman wears mourning for her husband's immediate relatives.

FOR PARENTS AND GRANDCHILDREN. Mourning for these persons is generally worn for one year. During the first six months, black material trimmed with crape is used, and also a deep veil, which is thrown over the back of the head and not worn over the face, as for a husband. After this period the mourning may be lightened, according to taste.

See also DEATH IN THE FAMILY. FUNERALS.

MR. AND MRS. CARDS ( VISITING). These cards are not generally used for ceremonious calls after the first series of return calls made by the bride.

If the husband is unable, the first year after marriage, to make formal calls, his wife uses the Mr. and Mrs. cards, and such is accepted as a call from him. But after one year she should leave their separate cards.

These are used on formal occasions-as, returning a first call, condolence, congratulations, or P. P. C.--when both the husband and wife are represented.

When they are used the first year after marriage, they should have the address in right-hand corner and reception days in lower left-hand corner.

The card should read: Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Wren Wilson

MUSIC.

WEDDINGS. The organist and the music are usually selected by the bride. Before her arrival, the organist plays some bright selection; but on her entering the church and passing up the aisle, he plays the wedding march.

AFTERNOON TEAS (FORMAL). Music is always appropriate on these occasions.

MUSICALES.

DRESS. The rule would be that at an afternoon affair afternoon dress would be worn, and evening dress at an evening affair.

HOURS. For an afternoon musicale, the hours are usually from four to six. For an elaborate evening drawing-room concert, any hour may be selected.

INVITATIONS. These are sent out two weeks before the event. If entertainment is in the evening, they should be issued by husband and wife. If given in honor of a prominent person at any hour whatever, the cards should be engraved, and in either case the word Music should appear in the lower left- hand corner.

These should be acknowledged at once by a letter of acceptance or regret.

NAPKINS, when in use, are laid on the lap, and, when finished with, are not folded up unless one is a guest for a few days; on all other occasions they are left unfolded. A good plan is to follow the example of the hostess.