Part 13

He had now lived to the age of forty, respected by the rich, prayed for by the poor, honoured and beloved by all; when, one day, a youngster, with whom he had some difference in opinion, meeting him in the field, snapped a pistol at him, which happily flashed in the pan. Thinking that this was done only to frighten him, he coolly disarmed the ruffian, and, putting the weapon carelessly in his pocket, thoughtfully returned home; but, after examination, the discovery of bullets in the pistol had such an effect on his mind, that he instantly conceived an extraordinary resolution of retiring entirely from the world, in which he persisted to the end of his life. He took a very fair house in the lower end of Grub-street, near Cripplegate, London, and contracting a numerous retinue into a small family, having the house prepared for his purpose, he selected three chambers for himself; the one for his diet, the other for his lodging, the other for his study. As they were one within another,--while his diet was set on the table by an old maid, he retired into his lodging room; and when his bed was making, into his study; still doing so till all was clear. Out of these chambers, from the time of his entry into them, he never issued, till he was carried thence, 44 years after, on men's shoulders; neither, in all that time, did his son-in-law, daughter, or grand-child, brother, sister, or kinsman, young or old, rich or poor, of what degree or condition soever, look upon his face, save the ancient maid, whose name was Elizabeth. She only made his fire, prepared his bed, provided his diet, and dressed his chambers. She saw him but seldom, never but in cases of extraordinary necessity, and died not six days before him.

In all the time of his retirement, he never tasted fish or flesh; his chief food was oatmeal gruel; now and then, in summer, he had a salad of some choice cool herbs; and for dainties, when he would feast himself upon a high day, he would eat the yoke of a hen's egg, but no part of the white; what bread he did eat, he cut out of the middle of the loaf, but the crust he never tasted; his constant drink was four-shilling beer, and no other, for he never tasted wine or strong drink. Now and then, when his stomach served, he would eat some kind of sackers, and he sometimes drank red cow's milk, which was fetched hot from the cow. Nevertheless, he kept a bountiful table for his servant, and sufficient entertainment for any stranger or tenant, who had occasion of business at his house. Every book that was printed was bought for him, and conveyed to him; but such as related to controversy he always laid aside, and never read.

In Christmas holidays, at Easter, and other festivals, he was provided with all dishes in season, served into his own chamber, with stores of wine, which his maid brought in. Then, after thanks to God for his good benefits, he would pin a clean napkin before him, and putting on a pair of clean holland sleeves, which reached to his elbows, cutting up dish after dish in order, he would send one to a poor neighbour, the next to another, whether it were brawn, beef, capon, goose, &c. till he had left the whole table empty; when, giving thanks again, he laid by his linen, and caused the dishes to be taken away: and this he would do, at dinner and supper, upon these days, without tasting of any thing whatsoever. When any clamoured impudently at his gate, they were not, therefore, immediately relieved; but when, from his private chamber, he espied any sick, weak, or lame, he would presently send after them, to comfort, cherish, and strengthen them, and not a trifle to serve them for the present, but so much as would relieve them many days after. He would moreover inquire which of his neighbours were industrious in their callings, and who had great charge of children; and withal, if their labour and industry could not sufficiently supply their families: to such he would liberally send, and relieve them according to their necessities.

He died at his house in Grub-street, after an anchoretical confinement of forty-four years, October 29, 1636, aged 84. At his death, his hair and beard was so overgrown, that he appeared rather like a hermit of the wilderness, than the inhabitant of one of the first cities in the world.

A very singular character was JOHN HENLEY, M. A. commonly called Orator Henley. He was born at Melton-Mowbray, Leicestershire, in 1691. His father, the Rev. Simon Henley, and his maternal grandfather, John Dowel, M. A. were both vicars of that parish. Having passed his exercises at Cambridge, and obtained the degree of B. A. he returned to his native place, where he was desired by the trustees to take the direction of the school, which he soon raised to a flourishing condition. Here he began his Universal Grammar; finished ten languages, with dissertations prefixed; and wrote his poem on Esther, which was well received. He was ordained a deacon by Dr. Wake, then Bishop of Lincoln; and having taken his degree of M. A. was admitted to priest's orders by Dr. Gibson. After preaching many occasional sermons, he went to London, recommended by above thirty letters from the most considerable men in the country, both of the clergy and laity. He there published Translations of Pliny's Epistles, of several works of Abbé Vertot, of Montfaucon's Italian Travels, in folio, and many original lucubrations. His most generous patron was the Earl of Macclesfield, who gave him a benefice in the country, the value of which, to a resident, would have been above £80 a year; he had likewise a lecture in the city; sermons about town; was more numerously followed, and raised more for the poor children, than any other preacher, except the celebrated George Whitfield. But when he pressed his promise from a great man, of being fixed in town, it was negatived. He then gave up his benefice and lecture, believing the public would be a more hospitable protector of learning and science, than some of the higher ranks in his own order. He preached on Sundays on theological matters, and on Wednesdays upon all other sciences. He declaimed several years against the greatest persons, and occasionally, says Warburton, did Pope that honour. That great poet, however, retaliated in the following satirical lines:

"Imbrown'd with native bronze, lo, Henley stands, Tuning his voice, and balancing his hands. How fluent nonsense trickles from his tongue! How sweet the periods, neither said nor sung! Still break the benches, Henley, with thy strain, While Kennet, Hare, and Gibson, preach in vain, O great restorer of the good old age, Preacher at once, and zany, of thy age!"

Instead of tickets, this extraordinary person struck medals, which he dispersed among his subscribers: A star rising to the meridian, with this motto, "_Ad Summa_;" and below, "_Inveniam viam, aut faciam_." "_Each auditor paid us._" He was author of a weekly paper, called "The Hyp Doctor," for which he had £100 a year. In his advertisements and lectures, he often introduced satirical and humorous remarks on the public transactions of the times. He once collected an audience of a great number of shoemakers, by announcing that he could teach them a speedy mode of operation in their business; which proved only to be, the making of shoes from ready-made boots. He died on the 14th of October, 1756, in his 65th year.

The next character we introduce is SIMON BROWNE, with _his Curious Dedication to Queen Caroline_.

Simon Browne was a most extraordinary dissenting minister, and began to preach before he was twenty, at Portsmouth, but afterwards became the pastor at Old Jewry. In 1723, he lost his wife and son, which so affected him, that he quitted his office, and would not even attend public worship, alleging, "that he had fallen under the displeasure of God, who had caused his rational soul to perish, and left him only an animal life, common with brutes; that though he might appear rational to others, he knew no more what he said than a parrot; that it was in vain for him to pray;" and as such, he no longer accounted himself a moral agent. Yet he frequently amused himself with translating the ancient Latin and Greek poets. At the same time, he wrote two very able works in defence of Christianity against Woolston and Tindal. He dedicated one of these works to the Queen, but the Dedication was suppressed by his friends. Being a curiosity of its kind, we shall annex it.

"To the Queen.--Madam: Of all the extraordinary things that have been tendered to your royal hands, since your first happy arrival in Britain, it may be boldly said, what now bespeaks your majesty's acceptance is the chief. Not in itself indeed; it is a trifle unworthy your exalted rank, and what will hardly prove an entertaining amusement to one of your majesty's deep penetration, exact judgment, and fine taste; but on account of the author, who is the first being of the kind, and yet without a name.

"He was once a man, and of some little name; but of no worth, as his present unparalleled case makes but too manifest: for, by the immediate hand of an avenging God, his very thinking substance has for more than seven years been continually wasting away, till it is wholly perished out of him, if it be not utterly come to nothing. None, no, not the least remembrance of its very ruins, remain; not the shadow of an idea is left, nor any sense, so much as one single one, perfect or imperfect, whole or diminished, ever did appear to a mind within him, or was perceived by it.

"Such a present, from such a thing, however worthless in itself, may not be wholly unacceptable to your majesty, the author being such as history cannot parallel; and if the fact, which is real, and no fiction, or wrong conceit, obtains credit, it must be recorded as the most memorable, and indeed, astonishing event, in the reign of George II. that a tract composed by such a thing, was presented to the illustrious Caroline;--his royal consort need not be added; fame, if I am not misinformed, will tell that with pleasure to all succeeding times. He has been informed, that your majesty's piety is genuine and eminent, as your excellent qualities are great and conspicuous. This can, indeed, be truly known to the great searcher of hearts only. He alone, who can look into them, can discern if they are sincere, and the main intention corresponds with the appearance; and your majesty cannot take it amiss, if such an author hints, that his secret approbation is of infinitely greater value than the commendation of men, who may be easily mistaken, and are too apt to flatter their superiors. But, if he has been told the truth, such a case as his will certainly strike your majesty with astonishment; and may raise that commiseration in your royal breast, which he has in vain endeavoured to excite in those of his friends; who, by the most unreasonable and ill-founded conceit in the world, have imagined that a thinking being could not, for seven years together, live a stranger to its own powers, exercises, operations, and state; and to what the great God has been doing in it, and to it. If your majesty, in your most retired address to the King of kings, should think of so singular a case, you may perhaps make it your devout request, that the reign of your beloved sovereign and consort may be renowned to all posterity, by the recovery of a soul now in the utmost ruin, the restoration of one utterly lost at present amongst men; and should this case affect your royal breast, you will commend it to the piety and prayers of all the truly devout, who have the honour to be known to your majesty: many such doubtless there are; though courts are not usually the places where the devout resort, or where devotion reigns. And it is not improbable, that multitudes of the pious throughout the land may take a case to heart, that, under your majesty's patronage, comes thus recommended.

"Could such a favour as this restoration be obtained from heaven, by the prayers of your majesty, with what transport of gratitude would the recovered being throw himself at your majesty's feet, and, adoring the divine power and grace, profess himself.

I am, &c. SIMON BROWNE."

The next curious character we shall exhibit is EDWARD WORTLEY MONTAGUE.

He was son of the celebrated Lady Mary Wortley Montague. He passed through such various scenes, that he is well entitled to a place in this collection of curiosities. From Westminster school, where he was placed for education, he ran away thrice. He exchanged clothes with a chimney-sweeper, and followed for some time that sooty occupation. He next joined a fisherman, and cried flounders in Rotherhithe. He then sailed as a cabin-boy for Spain; where he had no sooner arrived, than he ran away from the vessel, and hired himself to a driver of mules. After thus vagabondizing it for some time, he was discovered by the consul, who returned him to his friends in England. They received him with joy, and a private tutor was employed to recover those rudiments of learning which a life of dissipation, blackguardism, and vulgarity, might have obliterated. Wortley was sent to the West Indies, where he remained some time; then returned to England, acted according to the dignity of his birth, was chosen a member, and served in two successive parliaments. His expenses exceeding his income, he became involved in debt, quitted his native country, and commenced that wandering traveller he continued to the time of his death. Having visited most of the eastern countries, he contracted a partiality for their manners. He drank little wine, but a great deal of coffee; wore a long beard; smoked much; and even whilst at Venice, was habited in the eastern style. He sat cross-legged in the Turkish fashion, from choice. With the Hebrew, the Arabic, the Chaldaic, and the Persian languages, he was as well acquainted as with his native tongue. He published several pieces: one on the Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire; another on the Causes of Earthquakes. He had seraglios of wives; but the lady whom he married in England was a washerwoman, with whom he did not cohabit. When she died without leaving issue to him, being unwilling that his estate should go to the Bute family, he set out for England, to marry a young woman already pregnant, whom a friend had provided for him; but he died on his journey.

The next character that comes before us is BLAISE PASCAL. He was one of the sublimest geniuses the world ever produced; was born at Clermont, in Auvergne, in 1623. He never had any preceptor but his father. So great a turn had he for the mathematics, that he learned, or rather invented, geometry, when but twelve years old; for his father was unwilling to initiate him in that science early, for fear of its diverting him from the study of the languages. At sixteen, he composed a curious mathematical piece. About nineteen, he invented his machine of arithmetic, which has been much admired by the learned. He afterwards employed himself assiduously in making experiments according to the new philosophy, and particularly improved upon those of Toricellius. At the age of twenty-four his mind took a different turn; for, all at once, he became as great a devotee as any age has ever produced, and gave himself up entirely to prayer and mortification.

The next is a character famous for longevity.--THOMAS, or OLD PARR, a remarkable Englishman, who lived in the reign of ten kings and queens. He was the son of John Parr, a husbandman, of Winnington, in the parish of Alderbury, Salop. Following the profession of his father, he laboured hard, and lived on coarse fare. Being taken up to London by the Earl of Arundel, the journey proved fatal to him. Owing to the alteration of his diet, to the change of the air and his general mode of life, he lived but a very short time; though one Robert Samber says, in his work entitled Long Livers, that Parr lived 16 years after his presentation to Charles II. He was buried in Westminster Abbey. After his death his body was opened, and an account was drawn up by the celebrated Dr. Harvey, of which the following is an extract: "He had a large breast, not fungous, but sticking to his ribs, and distended with blood; a lividness in his face, as he had a difficulty of breathing a little before his death; and a long lasting warmth in his arm-pits and breast after it; which sign, together with others, were so evident in his body as they use to be on those who die by suffocation. His heart was great, thick, fibrous, and fat; the blood in the heart, blackish and diluted; the cartilages of the sternum not more bony than in others, but flexile and soft. His viscera were sound and strong, especially the stomach; and he used to eat often, by night and day, though contented with old cheese, milk, coarse bread, small beer, and whey; and, which is more remarkable, he ate at midnight a little before he died. His kidneys were covered with fat, and pretty sound; only on the interior surface were found some aqueous or serous abscesses, whereof one was near the bigness of a hen's egg, with a yellowish water in it, having made a roundish cavity, impressed on that kidney; whence some thought it came, that, a little before his death, a suppression of urine had befallen him; though others were of opinion, that his urine was suppressed upon the regurgitation of all the serosity into his lungs. There was not the least appearance of any stony matter, either in the kidneys or bladder. His bowels were also sound, a little whitish without. His spleen very little, hardly equal to the bigness of one kidney. In short, all his inward parts appeared so healthy, that if he had not changed his diet and air, he might, perhaps, have lived a good while longer. The cause of his death was imputed chiefly to the change of food and air; forasmuch as coming out of a clear, thin, and free air, he came into the thick air of London; and, after a constant, plain, and homely country diet, he was taken into a splendid family, where he fed high, and drank plentifully of the best wines, whereupon the natural functions of the parts of his body were overcharged, his lungs obstructed, and the habit of the whole body quite disordered; upon which there could not but ensue a dissolution. His brain was sound, entire, and firm; and though he had not the use of his eyes, nor much of his memory, several years before he died, yet he had his hearing and apprehension very well; and was able, even to the 130th year of his age, to do any husbandman's work, even threshing of corn."--The following summary of his life is from Oldy's MS. Notes on Fuller's Worthies:

"Old Parr was born 1483; lived at home until 1500, aged 17, when he went out to service. 1518, aged 35, returned home from his master. 1522, aged 39, spent four years on the remainder of his father's lease. 1543, aged 60, ended the first lease he renewed of Mr. Lewis Porter. 1563, aged 80, married Jane, daughter of John Taylor, a maiden; by whom he had a son and a daughter, who both died very young. 1564, aged 81, ended the second lease which he renewed of Mr. John Porter. 1585, aged 102, ended the third lease he had renewed of Mr. Hugh Porter. 1588, aged 105, did penance in Alderbury church, for having a criminal connection with Katherine Milton, by which she proved with child. 1595, aged 112, he buried his wife Jane, after they had lived 32 years together. 1605, aged 122, having lived ten years a widower, he married Jane, widow of Anthony Adda, daughter of John Lloyd, of Gilsells, in Montgomeryshire, who survived him. 1635, aged 152 and 9 months, he died, after they had lived together 30 years, and after 50 years' possession of his last lease."--Length of years are of no use, unless they be spent in the practice of virtue.

The next character is a noted impostor, under the assumed name of GEORGE PSALMANAZAR. He was a very extraordinary genius, born in France, and educated in a Jesuit's college; upon leaving which, he fell into a mean, rambling way of life. At Liege, he entered into the Dutch service, and afterwards into that of Cologne. Having stolen the habit and staff of a pilgrim out of a church, he begged through several countries, in elegant Latin, and, accosting only gentlemen and clergymen, received liberal supplies, which he spent as freely. In Germany, he passed for a native of Formosa, a convert to Christianity, and a sufferer for it. At Rotterdam he lived upon raw flesh, roots, and vegetables. At Sluys he fell in with Brigadier Lauder, a Scots colonel, who introduced him to the chaplain; who, to recommend himself to the bishop of London, took him over to that city. The bishop patronised him with credulous humanity, and a large circle of his great friends considered him as a prodigy. He published a History of Formosa, and, what was most extraordinary, invented a character and language for that island, and translated the Church Catechism in to it, which was examined by learned critics, and approved. Some of the learned, however, doubted him, particularly Drs. Halley, Mead, and Woodward. He was allowed the use of the Oxford Library, and employed in compiling The Universal History. Some errors in his history first led him to be suspected as an impostor. He died in 1753; and in his last will confessed the imposture.

The next subject is a celebrated Quack Doctor, named JOHN CASE. He was a native of Lyme Regis, in Dorsetshire, was a noted empyric and astrologer, and looked upon as the successor of the famous Lilly, whose magical utensils he possessed. He is said to have got more by this distich over his door, than Dryden, by all his poetry:

"Within this place Lives Doctor Case."

And he was, doubtless, well paid for composing that which he affixed to his pill boxes:

"Here's fourteen pills for thirteen pence, Enough in any man's own conscience."

There is a story told of him and Dr. Radcliff: being together at a tavern, Radcliff said, "Here, brother Case; I drink to all the fools your patients."--"Thank ye," quoth Case; "let me have all the fools, and you are welcome to the rest." He wrote a nonsensical rhapsody, called the Angelical Guide, shewing men and women their lot and chance in this elementary life.

Our next character is famous for prematurity of genius, and named JOHN LEWIS CANDIAC. He was born at Candiac, in the diocese of Nismes, in France, in 1719. In the cradle he distinguished his letters; at thirteen months he knew them perfectly; at three years of age he read Latin, either printed or in manuscript; at four, he translated from that tongue; at six, he read Greek and Hebrew, was master of the principles of arithmetic, history, geography, heraldry, and the science of medals; and had read the best authors on almost every branch of literature. He died of a complication of disorders, at Paris, in 1726.

The next character deserves to be recorded as one that was eminently useful in his day and generation. JOHN SMEATON, born near Leeds, in 1724, was an eminent civil engineer. The strength of his understanding, and the originality of his genius, appeared at an early age: his playthings were not the playthings of children, but the tools which men employ: and he appeared to have greater entertainment in seeing the men in the neighbourhood work, and in asking them questions, than in any thing else. One day he was seen (to the distress of his friends) on the top of his father's barn, fixing up something like a windmill: another time he attended some men fixing a pump, at a neighbouring village, and observing them cut off a piece of bored pipe, he was so lucky as to procure it, and he actually made with it a working pump that raised water. This happened while he was in petticoats, and most likely before he had attained his sixth year.