Part 4
“How alluring are the charms of sympathy and charity! Happy are they who always feel the one, and have power and inclination to exemplify the other!
“The diamond and the ruby’s blaze Dispute the palm with beauty’s queen; Not beauty’s queen demands such praise, Devoid of virtue if she’s seen. But the soft tear in pity’s eye Outshines the diamond’s brightest beam, And the sweet blush of modesty More beauteous than the ruby’s seen.”
_Wednesday, P. M._
DRESS.
“Dress,” continued Mrs. Williams to her re-assembled and attentive pupils, “is an important article of female economy. By some it is doubtless considered as too essential. This is always the case, when it becomes the ruling passion, and every other excellence is made subordinate to it. A suitable attention to the etiquette of appearance is necessary to render us respectable in the eyes of the world and discovers an accommodating disposition, which is, at once, engaging and useful in the commerce of society. Females are taxed with being peculiarly attached to, and captivated by the glare of splendor and show. But I believe superficial minds are not confined to sex. Whatever form they actuate, to beautify and adorn it will be the principal object.
“A certain species of gaiety and airiness is becoming in youth. Young ladies, therefore, act perfectly in character, when, under proper restraint, they indulge their taste in the decoration of their persons. But they should be especially careful that their taste be correct; consistent with the modest delicacy which is the glory and ornament of woman.
“It is laudable to follow fashions, so far as they are governed by these rules; but whenever they deviate, quit them with express disapprobation and disgust. Any assumptions of the masculine habit are unbecoming. Dress and manners should be correspondent; and the engaging softness and artless simplicity, which grace my pupils, must be quite inconsistent with the air and attire of the other sex.
“A gaudy and fantastical mode of decoration is by no means a recommendation. It bespeaks a lightness of mind and a vanity of disposition, against which a discreet and modest girl should guard with the utmost vigilance. Extravagance is a great error, even where fortune will allow the means of supporting it. Many are the claims which the children of affliction and want have upon the superfluous plenty of the rich. How much better expended would some part of their redundance be, in relieving the necessities of such, than in decorating their own persons, with every ornament which art can contrive to create expense!
“Neatness and propriety should be the main objects; for loveliness needs no foreign aid to give it a passport. Neatness is too often connected with the idea of a prudish singularity; but no gaudiness of apparel, no richness of attire, no modishness of appearance can be an equivalent for it. Propriety is that garb which becomes our situation and circumstances in life. There certainly ought to be a difference between different ages and conditions, in this respect. Many articles, ornamental to Miss in her teens, would appear absurd, fantastical, and ridiculous in maturer years. Neither should the matronal robes, and the close cap hide the natural ringlets, and easy shapes of the blooming girl.
“It is a very false taste which induces people in dependent and narrow circumstances, to imitate the expensive mode of dress which might be very decent for those who move in a higher sphere.
“To endeavor to conceal indigence by the affectation of extravagance, is committing a great offence, both against ourselves, and the community to which we belong. The means of support should always be attended to. A conformity to these will render you more respected for prudence, than a deviation for the sake of show without substance, can make you admired.
“Louisa and Clarinda are striking examples. They were both the daughters of reputable parents, whose situations in the world were easy and comfortable, though not affluent. They were able to give their children a good education, but no other portion. Gay, volatile, and ambitious, Louisa was the votary of fashion. A superior in dress excited the keenest sensations of envy in her bosom; and a rival in appearance gave her unspeakable mortification. Dissatisfied with her natural charms, cosmetics and paints added to her expenses, and betrayed her folly. She had many professed admirers, who found her a willing dupe to flattery, and who raised her vanity by praising her excellent taste.
“Leander, a gentleman of liberal education, superior merit, and handsome property, cast his eye around for a companion to share and enjoy these advantages with him. Louisa caught his attention. The elegance of her person, and splendor of her appearance, charmed his imagination, and inspired the idea of a fortune sufficient to support her expensive style of living. He paid his addresses and was received with the most flattering encouragement. But how great was his disappointment, when he discovered the smallness of her resources, and the imprudence of her management! This, said he to himself, will never do for me. Were my income far superior to what it is, it would not be adequate to such unbounded extravagance. Besides, where so little economy is practised, while under parental government, what must be the consequence of that unlimited indulgence, which the confidence due to a wife demands? Were I to abridge her expenses, and endeavor to rectify her fantastical taste, it would doubtless foment dissension, discord, and animosity, which must terminate in wretchedness. He resolved, however, to try her real disposition, by gently hinting his disapprobation of her gaiety. This she resented; and a rupture, which ended in a final separation, ensued. She found, too late, the value of the man, whom she had slighted; and ever after regretted that folly which had irretrievably alienated his affections.
“The modesty and neatness of Clarinda’s garb next caught Leander’s eye. Conversing with her on the subject of dress, the justness of her sentiments gave him the highest ideas of the rectitude and innocence of her mind. A costly article was offered for her purchase; but she refused it. It would not become me, said she, nor any other person who has not an affluent fortune. If I had a sufficiency to buy it, I would procure something more simple and necessary for myself; and the overplus might render an object of distress contented and happy.
“Yet was Clarinda always elegantly neat; always genteelly fashionable. Frugality and economy, free from profusion and extravagance, enabled her to indulge her own taste entirely; and while she enjoyed that, she repined not at the fancied superiority of others. Leander found her all he wished, in appearance; all he hoped for, in reality. As their tastes were correspondent, and their highest aim, when united, to please each other, they were not dependent on the breath of fashion for their happiness. A compliance with its forms did not elate their pride, nor a departure from them, fill their hearts with peevishness and discontent.”
_Thursday, A. M._
POLITENESS.
“Still more important than your habit, is your air and deportment. It is not sufficient that these are pleasing to the eye of the superficial observer. Your behavior and conversation must be uniformly governed by the laws of politeness, discretion, and decorum. Else you will be disgusting to people of refinement; and the judicious and discerning will discover the weakness of your minds, notwithstanding the showy ornaments, intended to conceal it from public view.
“Inattention in company is a breach of good manners. Indeed, it is a downright insult; being neither more nor less, than declaring that you have not the least respect for any who are present. Either you do not value their good opinion, or you have something more important than their conversation to occupy your minds.
“You should always be attentive to those with whom you are conversant, let their rank and standing be what they may. Your superiors will esteem you for your respectful treatment of them; your equals will love you for your kindness and familiarity; your inferiors will respect you for your condescension and meekness.
“Attention in company will be advantageous to yourselves. Like the industrious bee, which sips honey from every plant, you may derive some benefit or instruction from all kinds of society. Some useful remark or information; some sentiment which may allure you to the practice of virtue, or deter you from a vicious perpetration, may repay your labor, and be serviceable through life.
“But should there be no other motive than that of pleasing your associates, and rendering them happy, by making yourselves agreeable, it may be considered as a sufficient inducement to the practice of this branch of good-breeding. Many girls, in the thoughtless levity of their hearts, divert themselves at the expense of others; and, with the utmost glee, point out any thing peculiar in the appearance, words, or actions of some one in the company, whom they select for a subject of merriment and ridicule. This, by shrewd looks, ironical gestures, or tittering whispers, is kept up, to the great mortification of the unhappy victim, and to the reproach and dishonor of the offenders. Such conduct is a breach, not only of the rules of common civility, but of humanity; besides being directly repugnant to the precept of doing to others as we would that they should do to us.
“Be particularly careful, then, not to mortify, or give pain to an inferior.
“Let the question, ‘who maketh thee to differ?’ suppress every emotion of ridicule, contempt, or neglect; and induce you to raise and encourage depressed merit by your notice and approbation.
“As far as propriety, delicacy, and virtue will allow, conform to the taste, and participate in the amusements and conversation of the company into which you have fallen. If they be disagreeable to you, avoid a supercilious avowal of your dislike. This, instead of reforming, would probably give them a disgust to you, and perhaps subject you to affronts. Yet where a disapprobating word or hint may be seasonable, neglect not the opportunity of contributing to their benefit and amendment.
“Are you conscious of superior advantages, either mental or external, make no ostentatious display of them. Vanity too often leads young ladies to obtrude their acquirements on the eyes of observers, inconsiderately apprehending they may otherwise be unnoticed. Such forwardness always subjects them to censure, ridicule, and envy; the expressions of which destroy that self-approbation which retiring merit invariably enjoys. However, exert that dignity of virtue which will render you independent of caprice, calumny, and unprovoked satire.
“Make no ungenerous, or ill-natured remarks on the company, or on the individuals of which it is composed.
“If you dislike them, avoid them in future. If you witness errors, faults, or improprieties, conceal, or at least extenuate them, as much as possible.
“Make just allowances for those who may differ from you in opinion; and be cautious never to misrepresent, or circulate what appears amiss to you, and must, if exposed, be injurious to others. Charity hides a multitude of faults. Certainly then, charity will never aggravate nor create them.
“To give currency to a report, which tends to the disadvantage and dishonor of another, is defaming; and defamation is a species of cruelty, which can never be expiated.
“Of this the unhappy, though imprudent Eudocia, is an exemplification.
“Eudocia was young, gay, and charming. A levity of disposition, which the innocence of her heart attempted not to restrain, sometimes gave the tongue of slander pretence to aim its envenomed shafts at her character, and to misrepresent her sprightliness.
“Independent in fortune; still more so in mind, calumny gave her no pain, while she was conscious of the rectitude of her intentions.
“Leontine was a gentleman of property; agreeable in his person and manners; of strict honor, and extremely tenacious of it; but of a severe and unforgiving temper. He paid his addresses to Eudocia; was accepted, approved, and beloved. Yet, though he had gained her affections, he had not sufficient influence to regulate her conduct, and repress her gaiety. Her fondness for show and gallantry, in some instances, induced her to countenance the attentions, and receive the flattery, of men, whose characters were exceptionable, in Leontine’s estimation. He remonstrated against her imprudence, and gave her his ideas of female delicacy. She laughed at his gravity, and rallied him on his implicit subjection to the opinions of others.
“Towards the close of a fine day, Eudocia rambled along a retired road, to enjoy the air. She was alone; but the hope of meeting her beloved Leontine, whom she expected that evening, imperceptibly led her beyond her intended excursion. The rattling of a carriage caused her to stop; and, thinking it to be Leontine’s, she approached it before she perceived her mistake. A gentleman of an elegant appearance alighted and accosting her politely, expressed his surprise at finding her so far from home without an attendant. She found it was Florio, with whom she had a slight acquaintance, having once met with him in company. She frankly owned her motive for walking thus far; and refused his invitation to return in his carriage. He renewed his request; and his importunity, seconded by her fatigue, at last prevailed. At this moment the detracting Lavina passed by. She saw Eudocia, and with a sneering smile, wished her a good night. Eudocia was unconscious of fault, and therefore fearless of censure. But the artful Florio, desirous of protracting the pleasure of her company, took a circuitous route, which considerably increased the distance to her father’s house. However, he conveyed her safely home, though not so soon as she wished. She found that Leontine had been there, and had gone to visit a friend; but would soon return. Leontine was just seated at his friend’s, when Lavina entered.
“She told the circle, that Florio had just passed her, and that he had company she little expected to see with him. They inquired if it was his former mistress? No, said she, he discarded her some time ago, and if we may judge by appearances, has chosen a new one. Upon being asked who, she presumed to name Eudocia. Every countenance expressed surprise and regret. In Leontine, rage and resentment were visibly depicted. He rose, and stepping hastily to Lavina, told her he was a party concerned, and demanded an explanation of what she had insinuated. She perceived that she had given offence, and endeavored to excuse herself; but he resolutely told her that no evasions would avail; that he insisted on the real truth of her scandalous report. Finding him thus determined, she related the simple fact of seeing Eudocia in a carriage with Florio, who was a known libertine, and accustomed to the society of loose women. Leontine asked her how she came to associate the ideas she had mentioned with Eudocia’s name? She replied that the lightness of her behavior had sometimes rendered her censurable; and she thought this instance, in particular, authorised suspicion. Leontine could not deny that she was culpable in appearance; yet made answer, that though scandal might feast on the failings of virtue, he believed Eudocia’s innocence much purer, and her heart much better than her detractors’; and taking his hat, he wished the company a good evening, and left them.
“His passions were on fire. He could not comprehend the mysterious conduct of Eudocia. Her absence from home, at a time when he expected her to receive him, and her being seen at a distance in company with a professed debauchee, were a labyrinth which he could not explore. Though he doubted not Eudocia’s honor, yet her folly and imprudence, in subjecting her character to suspicion and reproach, he thought unpardonable. His resentment determined him to break the proposed connexion immediately; and, lest his love should get the better of his resolution, he went directly to the house.
“As he could not command his temper, he appeared extremely agitated, and angrily told Eudocia that she had caused him great uneasiness; and that he came to claim the satisfaction of knowing, why she had avoided his society, and made an assignation with a man who had involved her in infamy? Eudocia was astonished and justly offended at this address. With all the dignity of conscious innocence, she replied, that as yet he had no right to challenge an account of her conduct; but for her own sake, she would condescend to give it. This she did by a faithful and undisguised relation of facts. She then asked him if he was satisfied. He answered, No. For, said he, though you have cleared yourself of guilt, in my apprehension, you will find it very difficult to free your character from the blemish it has received in the opinion of the world. Saying this he told her, that however highly he esteemed her, so opposite were their dispositions, that they must often be at variance; and so nice was his sense of honor, that his wife like Cæsar’s must not only be virtuous, but unsuspected. She rejoined, that his sentiments were apparent; and if what he then expressed were his opinion of her, it was best they should part.
“Some further conversation passed; when promising to call, the next day, and satisfy her parents, and wishing Eudocia all possible happiness in life, he took his leave.
“The impropriety of her conduct, and her losing the affections of a man she too ardently loved, together with the cruel treatment she had just received from him, overwhelmed her with grief, and produced the most violent emotions of regret. She walked her room in all the anguish of disappointed hope. Her parents used every argument to soothe and console her, but in vain.
“She yielded to their persuasions so far as to retire to bed; but rest she found not; and the morning presented her in a burning fever. Leontine called in the course of the day; but the friends of Eudocia refused to see him. An account of her disorder had roused him to a sense of his rashness, and he begged to be admitted to her chamber; but this she utterly denied.
“Her fever left her; but the disease of her mind was beyond the power of medicine. A settled melancholy still remains; and she lives the victim of calumniation!
“To detract from the merit of others, beside the want of politeness which it betrays, and beside the injuries which it always occasions, is extremely impolitic. It is to confess your inferiority, and to acknowledge a wish not to rise to greater respectability; but to bring down those about you to your own level! Ill-natured remarks are the genuine offspring of an envious and grovelling mind.
“Call yourselves to a severe account, therefore, whenever you have been guilty of this degrading offence; and always check the first impulses towards it.
“Accustom yourselves to the exercise of sincerity, benevolence and good humor, those endearing virtues, which will render you beloved and respected by all.
“To bestow your attention in company, upon trifling singularities in the dress, person, or manners of others, is spending your time to little purpose. From such a practice you can derive neither pleasure nor profit; but must unavoidably subject yourselves to the imputation of incivility and malice.”
_Thursday, P. M._
AMUSEMENTS.
“Amusement is impatiently desired, and eagerly sought by young ladies in general. Forgetful that the noblest entertainment arises from a placid and well cultivated mind, too many fly from themselves, from thought and reflection, to fashionable dissipation, or what they call pleasure, as a mean of beguiling the hours which solitude and retirement render insupportably tedious.
“An extravagant fondness for company and public resorts is incompatible with those domestic duties, the faithful discharge of which ought to be the prevailing object of the sex. In the indulgence of this disposition, the mind is enervated, and the manners corrupted, till all relish for those enjoyments, which being simple and natural, are best calculated to promote health, innocence, and social delight, is totally lost.
“It is by no means amiss for youth to seek relaxation from severer cares and labors, in a participation of diversions, suited to their age, sex, and station in life. But there is great danger of their lively imaginations’ hurrying them into excess, and detaching their affections from the ennobling acquisitions of moral improvement, and refined delicacy. Guard, then against those amusements which have the least tendency to sully the purity of your minds.
“Loose and immoral books; company, whose manners are licentious, however gay and fashionable; conversation which is even tinctured with profaneness or obscenity; plays in which the representation is immodest, and offensive to the ear of chastity; indeed, pastimes of every description, from which no advantage can be derived, should not be countenanced; much less applauded. Why should those things afford apparent satisfaction in a crowd which would call forth the blush of indignation in more private circles? This question is worthy the serious attention of those ladies, who at the theatre, can hardly restrain their approbation of expressions and actions, which at their houses, would be intolerably rude and indecent, in their most familiar friends!
“Cards are so much the taste of the present day, that to caution my pupils against the too frequent use of them may be thought old fashioned in the extreme. I believe it, however, to be a fascinating game, which occupies the time, without yielding any kind of pleasure or profit. As the satirist humorously observes,
“The love of gaming is the worst of ills; With ceaseless storms the blacken’d soul it fills; Inveighs at Heaven, neglects the ties of blood; Destroys the power and will of doing good; Kills health, pawns honor, plunges in disgrace; And, what is still more dreadful—spoils your face.”
“One thing at least is certain; it entirely excludes all rational conversation. That delightful interchange of sentiment, which the social meeting of friends is calculated to afford and from which many advantages might be derived, is utterly excluded.
“Reading, writing, drawing, needle-work, dancing, music, walking, riding, and conversation are amusements well adapted to yield pleasure and utility. From either of these, within proper bounds, there is no danger of injury to the person or mind; though to render even our diversions agreeable, they must be enjoyed with moderation, and variously and prudently conducted. Such as are peculiarly exhilarating to the spirits, however innocent in themselves, should be more cautiously and sparingly indulged.
“When once the mind becomes too much relaxed by dissipating pastimes, it is proportionably vitiated, and negligent of those nice attentions to the rules of reserve and decorum which ought never to be suspended. Intoxicating is the full draught of pleasure to the youthful mind; and fatal are the effects of unrestrained passions.