Chapter 2
PISTHETAERUS What are you shouting for?
EUELPIDES Why, here's another bird.
PISTHETAERUS Aye, indeed; 'tis a foreign bird too. What is this bird from beyond the mountains with a look as solemn as it is stupid?
EPOPS He is called the Mede.(1)
f(1) Aristophanes amusingly mixes up real birds with people and individuals, whom he represents in the form of birds; he is personifying the Medians here.
PISTHETAERUS The Mede! But, by Heracles, how, if a Mede, has he flown here without a camel?
EUELPIDES Here's another bird with a crest.
PISTHETAERUS Ah! that's curious. I say, Epops, you are not the only one of your kind then?
EPOPS This bird is the son of Philocles, who is the son of Epops;(1) so that, you see, I am his grandfather; just as one might say, Hipponicus,(2) the son of Callias, who is the son of Hipponicus.
f(1) Philocles, a tragic poet, had written a tragedy on Tereus, which was simply a plagiarism of the play of the same name by Sophocles. Philocles is the son of Epops, because he got his inspiration from Sophocles' Tereus, and at the same time is father to Epops, since he himself produced another Tereus.
f(2) This Hipponicus is probably the orator whose ears Alcibiades boxed to gain a bet; he was a descendant of Callias, who was famous for his hatred of Pisistratus.
PISTHETAERUS Then this bird is Callias! Why, what a lot of his feathers he has lost!(1)
f(1) This Callias, who must not be confounded with the foe of Pisistratus, had ruined himself.
EPOPS That's because he is honest; so the informers set upon him and the women too pluck out his feathers.
PISTHETAERUS By Posidon, do you see that many-coloured bird? What is his name?
EPOPS This one? 'Tis the glutton.
PISTHETAERUS Is there another glutton besides Cleonymus? But why, if he is Cleonymus, has he not thrown away his crest?(1) But what is the meaning of all these crests? Have these birds come to contend for the double stadium prize?(2)
f(1) Cleonymus had cast away his shield; he was as great a glutton as he was a coward.
f(2) A race in which the track had to be circled twice.
EPOPS They are like the Carians, who cling to the crests of their mountains for greater safety.(1)
f(1) A people of Asia Minor; when pursued by the Ionians they took refuge in the mountains.
PISTHETAERUS Oh, Posidon! do you see what swarms of birds are gathering here?
EUELPIDES By Phoebus! what a cloud! The entrance to the stage is no longer visible, so closely do they fly together.
PISTHETAERUS Here is the partridge.
EUELPIDES Faith! there is the francolin.
PISTHETAERUS There is the poachard.
EUELPIDES Here is the kingfisher. And over yonder?
EPOPS 'Tis the barber.
EUELPIDES What? a bird a barber?
PISTHETAERUS Why, Sporgilus is one.(1) Here comes the owl.
f(1) An Athenian barber.
EUELPIDES And who is it brings an owl to Athens?(1)
f(1) The owl was dedicated to Athene, and being respected at Athens, it had greatly multiplied. Hence the proverb, 'taking owls to Athens,' similar to our English 'taking coals to Newcastle.'
PISTHETAERUS Here is the magpie, the turtle-dove, the swallow, the horned owl, the buzzard, the pigeon, the falcon, the ring-dove, the cuckoo, the red-foot, the red-cap, the purple-cap, the kestrel, the diver, the ousel, the osprey, the woodpecker.
EUELPIDES Oh! oh! what a lot of birds! what a quantity of blackbirds! how they scold, how they come rushing up! What a noise! what a noise! Can they be bearing us ill-will? Oh! there! there! they are opening their beaks and staring at us.
PISTHETAERUS Why, so they are.
CHORUS Popopopopopopopoi. Where is he who called me? Where am I to find him?
EPOPS I have been waiting for you this long while! I never fail in my word to my friends.
CHORUS Titititititititi. What good thing have you to tell me?
EPOPS Something that concerns our common safety, and that is just as pleasant as it is to the purpose. Two men, who are subtle reasoners, have come here to seek me.
CHORUS Where? What? What are you saying?
EPOPS I say, two old men have come from the abode of men to propose a vast and splendid scheme to us.
CHORUS Oh! 'tis a horrible, unheard-of crime! What are you saying?
EPOPS Nay! never let my words scare you.
CHORUS What have you done then?
EPOPS I have welcomed two men, who wish to live with us.
CHORUS And you have dared to do that!
EPOPS Aye, and am delighted at having done so.
CHORUS Where are they?
EPOPS In your midst, as I am.
CHORUS Ah! ah! we are betrayed; 'tis sacrilege! Our friend, he who picked up corn-seeds in the same plains as ourselves, has violated our ancient laws; he has broken the oaths that bind all birds; he has laid a snare for me, he has handed us over to the attacks of that impious race which, throughout all time, has never ceased to war against us. As for this traitorous bird, we will decide his case later, but the two old men shall be punished forthwith; we are going to tear them to pieces.
PISTHETAERUS 'Tis all over with us.
EUELPIDES You are the sole cause of all our trouble. Why did you bring me from down yonder?
PISTHETAERUS To have you with me.
EUELPIDES Say rather to have me melt into tears.
PISTHETAERUS Go to! you are talking nonsense.
EUELPIDES How so?
PISTHETAERUS How will you be able to cry when once your eyes are pecked out?
CHORUS Io! io! forward to the attack, throw yourselves upon the foe, spill his blood; take to your wings and surround them on all sides. Woe to them! let us get to work with our beaks, let us devour them. Nothing can save them from our wrath, neither the mountain forests, nor the clouds that float in the sky, nor the foaming deep. Come, peck, tear to ribbons. Where is the chief of the cohort? Let him engage the right wing.
EUELPIDES This is the fatal moment. Where shall I fly to, unfortunate wretch that I am?
PISTHETAERUS Stay! stop here!
EUELPIDES That they may tear me to pieces?
PISTHETAERUS And how do you think to escape them?
EUELPIDES I don't know at all.
PISTHETAERUS Come, I will tell you. We must stop and fight them. Let us arm ourselves with these stew-pots.
EUELPIDES Why with the stew-pots?
PISTHETAERUS The owl will not attack us.(1)
f(1) An allusion to the Feast of Pots; it was kept at Athens on the third day of the Anthesteria, when all sorts of vegetables were stewed together and offered for the dead to Bacchus and Athene. This Feast was peculiar to Athens.--Hence Pisthetaerus thinks that the owl will recognize they are Athenians by seeing the stew-pots, and as he is an Athenian bird, he will not attack them.
EUELPIDES But do you see all those hooked claws?
PISTHETAERUS Seize the spit and pierce the foe on your side.
EUELPIDES And how about my eyes?
PISTHETAERUS Protect them with this dish or this vinegar-pot.
EUELPIDES Oh! what cleverness! what inventive genius! You are a great general, even greater than Nicias,(1) where stratagem is concerned.
f(1) Nicias, the famous Athenian general.--The siege of Melos in 417 B.C., or two years previous to the production of 'The Birds,' had especially done him great credit. He was joint commander of the Sicilian expedition.
CHORUS Forward, forward, charge with your beaks! Come, no delay. Tear, pluck, strike, flay them, and first of all smash the stew-pot.
EPOPS Oh, most cruel of all animals, why tear these two men to pieces, why kill them? What have they done to you? They belong to the same tribe, to the same family as my wife.(1)
f(1) Procne, the daughter of Pandion, King of Athens.
CHORUS Are wolves to be spared? Are they not our most mortal foes? So let us punish them.
EPOPS If they are your foes by nature, they are your friends in heart, and they come here to give you useful advice.
CHORUS Advice or a useful word from their lips, from them, the enemies of my forebears!
EPOPS The wise can often profit by the lessons of a foe, for caution is the mother of safety. 'Tis just such a thing as one will not learn from a friend and which an enemy compels you to know. To begin with, 'tis the foe and not the friend that taught cities to build high walls, to equip long vessels of war; and 'tis this knowledge that protects our children, our slaves and our wealth.
CHORUS Well then, I agree, let us first hear them, for 'tis best; one can even learn something in an enemy's school.
PISTHETAERUS Their wrath seems to cool. Draw back a little.
EPOPS 'Tis only justice, and you will thank me later.
CHORUS Never have we opposed your advice up to now.
PISTHETAERUS They are in a more peaceful mood; put down your stew-pot and your two dishes; spit in hand, doing duty for a spear, let us mount guard inside the camp close to the pot and watch in our arsenal closely; for we must not fly.
EUELPIDES You are right. But where shall we be buried, if we die?
PISTHETAERUS In the Ceramicus;(1) for, to get a public funeral, we shall tell the Strategi that we fell at Orneae,(2) fighting the country's foes.
f(1) A space beyond the walls of Athens which contained the gardens of the Academy and the graves of citizens who had died for their country.
f(2) A town in Western Argolis, where the Athenians had been recently defeated. The somewhat similar work in Greek signifies 'birds.'
CHORUS Return to your ranks and lay down your courage beside your wrath as the Hoplites do. Then let us ask these men who they are, whence they come, and with what intent. Here, Epops, answer me.
EPOPS Are you calling me? What do you want of me?
CHORUS Who are they? From what country?
EPOPS Strangers, who have come from Greece, the land of the wise.
CHORUS And what fate has led them hither to the land of the birds?
EPOPS Their love for you and their wish to share your kind of life; to dwell and remain with you always.
CHORUS Indeed, and what are their plans?
EPOPS They are wonderful, incredible, unheard of.
CHORUS Why, do they think to see some advantage that determines them to settle here? Are they hoping with our help to triumph over their foes or to be useful to their friends?
EPOPS They speak of benefits so great it is impossible either to describe or conceive them; all shall be yours, all that we see here, there, above and below us; this they vouch for.
CHORUS Are they mad?
EPOPS They are the sanest people in the world.
CHORUS Clever men?
EPOPS The slyest of foxes, cleverness its very self, men of the world, cunning, the cream of knowing folk.
CHORUS Tell them to speak and speak quickly; why, as I listen to you, I am beside myself with delight.
EPOPS Here, you there, take all these weapons and hang them up inside close to the fire, near the figure of the god who presides there and under his protection;(1) as for you, address the birds, tell them why I have gathered them together.
f(1) Epops is addressing the two slaves, no doubt Xanthias and Manes, who are mentioned later on.
PISTHETAERUS Not I, by Apollo, unless they agree with me as the little ape of an armourer agreed with his wife, not to bite me, nor pull me by the parts, nor shove things up my...
CHORUS You mean the...(PUTS FINGER TO BOTTOM) Oh! be quite at ease.
PISTHETAERUS No, I mean my eyes.
CHORUS Agreed.
PISTHETAERUS Swear it.
CHORUS I swear it and, if I keep my promise, let judges and spectators give me the victory unanimously.
PISTHETAERUS It is a bargain.
CHORUS And if I break my word, may I succeed by one vote only.
HERALD Hearken, ye people! Hoplites, pick up your weapons and return to your firesides; do not fail to read the decrees of dismissal we have posted.
CHORUS Man is a truly cunning creature, but nevertheless explain. Perhaps you are going to show me some good way to extend my power, some way that I have not had the wit to find out and which you have discovered. Speak! 'tis to your own interest as well as to mine, for if you secure me some advantage, I will surely share it with you. But what object can have induced you to come among us? Speak boldly, for I shall not break the truce,--until you have told us all.
PISTHETAERUS I am bursting with desire to speak; I have already mixed the dough of my address and nothing prevents me from kneading it.... Slave! bring the chaplet and water, which you must pour over my hands. Be quick!(1)
f(1) It was customary, when speaking in public and also at feasts, to wear a chaplet; hence the question Euelpides puts.--The guests wore chaplets of flowers, herbs, and leaves, which had the property of being refreshing.
EUELPIDES Is it a question of feasting? What does it all mean?
PISTHETAERUS By Zeus, no! but I am hunting for fine, tasty words to break down the hardness of their hearts.--I grieve so much for you, who at one time were kings...
CHORUS We kings! Over whom?
PISTHETAERUS ...of all that exists, firstly of me and of this man, even of Zeus himself. Your race is older than Saturn, the Titans and the Earth.
CHORUS What, older than the Earth!
PISTHETAERUS By Phoebus, yes.
CHORUS By Zeus, but I never knew that before!
PISTHETAERUS 'Tis because you are ignorant and heedless, and have never read your Aesop. 'Tis he who tells us that the lark was born before all other creatures, indeed before the Earth; his father died of sickness, but the Earth did not exist then; he remained unburied for five days, when the bird in its dilemma decided, for want of a better place, to entomb its father in its own head.
EUELPIDES So that the lark's father is buried at Cephalae.(1)
f(1) A deme of Attica. In Greek the word also means 'heads,' and hence the pun.
EPOPS Hence, if we existed before the Earth, before the gods, the kingship belongs to us by right of priority.
EUELPIDES Undoubtedly, but sharpen your beak well; Zeus won't be in a hurry to hand over his sceptre to the woodpecker.
PISTHETAERUS It was not the gods, but the birds, who were formerly the masters and kings over men; of this I have a thousand proofs. First of all, I will point you to the cock, who governed the Persians before all other monarchs, before Darius and Megabyzus.(1) 'Tis in memory of his reign that he is called the Persian bird.
f(1) One of Darius' best generals. After his expedition against the Scythians, this prince gave him the command of the army which he left in Europe. Megabyzus took Perinthos (afterwards called Heraclea) and conquered Thrace.
EUELPIDES For this reason also, even to-day, he alone of all the birds wears his tiara straight on his head, like the Great King.(1)
f(1) All Persians wore the tiara, but always on one side; the Great King alone wore it straight on his head.
PISTHETAERUS He was so strong, so great, so feared, that even now, on account of his ancient power, everyone jumps out of bed as soon as ever he crows at daybreak. Blacksmiths, potters, tanners, shoemakers, bathmen, corn-dealers, lyre-makers and armourers, all put on their shoes and go to work before it is daylight.
EUELPIDES I can tell you something about that. 'Twas the cock's fault that I lost a splendid tunic of Phrygian wool. I was at a feast in town, given to celebrate the birth of a child; I had drunk pretty freely and had just fallen asleep, when a cock, I suppose in a greater hurry than the rest, began to crow. I thought it was dawn and set out for Alimos.(1) I had hardly got beyond the walls, when a footpad struck me in the back with his bludgeon; down I went and wanted to shout, but he had already made off with my mantle.
f(1) Noted as the birthplace of Thucydides, a deme of Attica of the tribe of Leontis. Demosthenes tells us it was thirty-five stadia from Athens.
PISTHETAERUS Formerly also the kite was ruler and king over the Greeks.
EPOPS The Greeks?
PISTHETAERUS And when he was king, 'twas he who first taught them to fall on their knees before the kites.(1)
f(1) The appearance of the kite in Greece betokened the return of springtime; it was therefore worshipped as a symbol of that season.
EUELPIDES By Zeus! 'tis what I did myself one day on seeing a kite; but at the moment I was on my knees, and leaning backwards(1) with mouth agape, I bolted an obolus and was forced to carry my bag home empty.(2)
f(1) To look at the kite, who no doubt was flying high in the sky.
f(2) As already shown, the Athenians were addicted to carrying small coins in their mouths.--This obolus was for the purpose of buying flour to fill the bag he was carrying
PISTHETAERUS The cuckoo was king of Egypt and of the whole of Phoenicia. When he called out "cuckoo," all the Phoenicians hurried to the fields to reap their wheat and their barley.(1)
f(1) In Phoenicia and Egypt the cuckoo makes its appearance about harvest-time.
EUELPIDES Hence no doubt the proverb, "Cuckoo! cuckoo! go to the fields, ye circumcised."(1)
f(1) This was an Egyptian proverb, meaning, 'When the cuckoo sings we go harvesting.' Both the Phoenicians and the Egyptians practised circumcision.
PISTHETAERUS So powerful were the birds that the kings of Grecian cities, Agamemnon, Menelaus, for instance, carried a bird on the tip of their sceptres, who had his share of all presents.(1)
f(1) The staff, called a sceptre, generally terminated in a piece of carved work, representing a flower, a fruit, and most often a bird.
EUELPIDES That I didn't know and was much astonished when I saw Priam come upon the stage in the tragedies with a bird, which kept watching Lysicrates(1) to see if he got any present.
f(1) A general accused of treachery. The bird watches Lysicrates, because, according to Pisthetaerus, he had a right to a share of the presents.
PISTHETAERUS But the strongest proof of all is, that Zeus, who now reigns, is represented as standing with an eagle on his head as a symbol of his royalty;(1) his daughter has an owl, and Phoebus, as his servant, has a hawk.
f(1) It is thus that Phidias represents his Olympian Zeus.
EUELPIDES By Demeter, 'tis well spoken. But what are all these birds doing in heaven?
PISTHETAERUS When anyone sacrifices and, according to the rite, offers the entrails to the gods, these birds take their share before Zeus. Formerly men always swore by the birds and never by the gods; even now Lampon(1) swears by the goose, when he wants to lie....Thus 'tis clear that you were great and sacred, but now you are looked upon as slaves, as fools, as Helots; stones are thrown at you as at raving madmen, even in holy places. A crowd of bird-catchers sets snares, traps, limed-twigs and nets of all sorts for you; you are caught, you are sold in heaps and the buyers finger you over to be certain you are fat. Again, if they would but serve you up simply roasted; but they rasp cheese into a mixture of oil, vinegar and laserwort, to which another sweet and greasy sauce is added, and the whole is poured scalding hot over your back, for all the world as if you were diseased meat.
f(1) One of the diviners sent to Sybaris (in Magna Graecia, S. Italy) with the Athenian colonists, who rebuilt the town under the new name of Thurium.
CHORUS Man, your words have made my heart bleed; I have groaned over the treachery of our fathers, who knew not how to transmit to us the high rank they held from their forefathers. But 'tis a benevolent Genius, a happy Fate, that sends you to us; you shall be our deliverer and I place the destiny of my little ones and my own in your hands with every confidence. But hasten to tell me what must be done; we should not be worthy to live, if we did not seek to regain our royalty by every possible means.
PISTHETAERUS First I advise that the birds gather together in one city and that they build a wall of great bricks, like that at Babylon, round the plains of the air and the whole region of space that divides earth from heaven.
EPOPS Oh, Cebriones! oh, Porphyrion!(1) what a terribly strong place!
f(1) As if he were saying, "Oh, gods!" Like Lampon, he swears by the birds, instead of swearing by the gods.--The names of these birds are those of two of the Titans.
PISTHETAERUS Th(en), this being well done and completed, you demand back the empire from Zeus; if he will not agree, if he refuses and does not at once confess himself beaten, you declare a sacred war against him and forbid the gods henceforward to pass through your country with lust, as hitherto, for the purpose of fondling their Alcmenas, their Alopes, or their Semeles!(1) if they try to pass through, you infibulate them with rings so that they can work no longer. You send another messenger to mankind, who will proclaim to them that the birds are kings, that for the future they must first of all sacrifice to them, and only afterwards to the gods; that it is fitting to appoint to each deity the bird that has most in common with it. For instance, are they sacrificing to Aphrodite, let them at the same time offer barley to the coot; are they immolating a sheep to Posidon, let them consecrate wheat in honour of the duck;(2) is a steer being offered to Heracles, let honey-cakes be dedicated to the gull;(3) is a goat being slain for King Zeus, there is a King-Bird, the wren,(4) to whom the sacrifice of a male gnat is due before Zeus himself even.
f(1) Alcmena, wife of Amphitryon, King of Thebes and mother of Heracles.--Semele, the daughter of Cadmus and Hermione and mother of Bacchus; both seduced by Zeus.--Alope, daughter of Cercyon, a robber, who reigned at Eleusis and was conquered by Perseus. Alope was honoured with Posidon's caresses; by him she had a son named Hippothous, at first brought up by shepherds but who afterwards was restored to the throne of his grandfather by Theseus.
f(2) Because water is the duck's domain, as it is that of Posidon.
f(3) Because the gull, like Heracles, is voracious.
f(4) The Germans still call it 'Zaunkonig' and the French 'roitelet,' both names thus containing the idea of 'king.'
EUELPIDES This notion of an immolated gnat delights me! And now let the great Zeus thunder!
EPOPS But how will mankind recognize us as gods and not as jays? Us, who have wings and fly?
PISTHETAERUS You talk rubbish! Hermes is a god and has wings and flies, and so do many other gods. First of all, Victory flies with golden wings, Eros is undoubtedly winged too, and Iris is compared by Homer to a timorous dove.(1) If men in their blindness do not recognize you as gods and continue to worship the dwellers in Olympus, then a cloud of sparrows greedy for corn must descend upon their fields and eat up all their seeds; we shall see then if Demeter will mete them out any wheat.
f(1) The scholiast draws our attention to the fact that Homer says this of Here and not of Iris (Iliad, V, 778); it is only another proof that the text of Homer has reached us in a corrupted form, or it may be that Aristophanes was liable, like other people, to occasional mistakes of quotation.
EUELPIDES By Zeus, she'll take good care she does not, and you will see her inventing a thousand excuses.
PISTHETAERUS The crows too will prove your divinity to them by pecking out the eyes of their flocks and of their draught-oxen; and then let Apollo cure them, since he is a physician and is paid for the purpose.(1)
f(1) In sacrifices.
EUELPIDES Oh! don't do that! Wait first until I have sold my two young bullocks.
PISTHETAERUS If on the other hand they recognize that you are God, the principle of life, that you are Earth, Saturn, Posidon, they shall be loaded with benefits.
EPOPS Name me one of these then.
PISTHETAERUS Firstly, the locusts shall not eat up their vine-blossoms; a legion of owls and kestrels will devour them. Moreover, the gnats and the gall-bugs shall no longer ravage the figs; a flock of thrushes shall swallow the whole host down to the very last.
EPOPS And how shall we give wealth to mankind? This is their strongest passion.
PISTHETAERUS When they consult the omens, you will point them to the richest mines, you will reveal the paying ventures to the diviner, and not another shipwreck will happen or sailor perish.
EPOPS No more shall perish? How is that?