SCENE II.--_A Hall at_ Doricourt'_s_. (_A gentle knock at the door._)

_Enter the Porter._

_Port._ Tap! What sneaking devil art thou? (_Opens the door._)

_Enter_ Crowquill.

So! I suppose _you_ are one of Monsieur's customers too? He's above stairs, now, overhauling all his Honour's things to a parcel of 'em.

_Crowq._ No, Sir; it is with you, if you please, that I want to speak.

_Port._ Me! Well, what do you want with me?

_Crowq._ Sir, you must know that I am--I am the Gentleman who writes the _Tête-à-têtes_ in the Magazines.

_Port._ Oh, oh!--What, you are the fellow that ties folks together, in your sixpenny cuts, that never meet any where else?

_Crowq._ Oh, dear Sir, excuse me!--we always go on _foundation_; and if you can help me to a few anecdotes of your master, such as what Marchioness he lost money to, in Paris--who is his favourite Lady in town--or the name of the Girl he first made love to at College--or any incidents that happened to his Grandmother, or Great aunts--a couple will do, by way of supporters--I'll weave a web of intrigues, losses, and gallantries, between them, that shall fill four pages, procure me a dozen dinners, and you, Sir, a bottle of wine for your trouble.

_Port._ Oh, oh! I heard the butler talk of you, when I lived at Lord Tinket's. But what the devil do you mean by a bottle of wine!--You gave him a crown for a retaining fee.

_Crowq._ Oh, Sir, that was for a Lord's amours; a Commoner's are never but half. Why, I have had a Baronet's for five shillings, though he was a married man, and changed his mistress every six weeks.

_Port._ Don't tell me! What signifies a Baronet, or a bit of a Lord, who, may be, was never further than sun and fun round London? _We_ have travelled, man! My master has been in Italy, and over the whole island of Spain; talked to the Queen of France, and danced with her at a masquerade. Ay, and such folks don't go to masquerades for nothing; but mum--not a word more--Unless you'll rank my master with a Lord, I'll not be guilty of blabbing his secrets, I assure you.

_Crowq._ Well, Sir, perhaps you'll throw in a hint or two of other families, where you've lived, that may be worked up into something; and so, Sir, here is one, two, three, four, five shillings.

_Port._ Well, that's honest, (_pocketing the money._) To tell you the truth, I don't know much of my master's concerns yet;--but here comes Monsieur and his gang: I'll pump them: they have trotted after him all round Europe, from the Canaries to the Isle of Wight.

_Enter several foreign Servants and two Tradesmen._

(_The Porter takes one of them aside._)

_Tradesm._ Well then, you have shew'd us all?

_Frenchm._ All, _en vérité, Messieurs_! you _avez_ seen every ting. _Serviteur, serviteur._ [_Exeunt_ Tradesmen.

Ah, here comes one _autre_ curious Englishman, and dat's one _autre_ guinea _pour moi_.

_Enter_ Saville.

_Allons, Monsieur_, dis way; I will shew you tings, such tings you never see, begar, in England!--velvets by Le Mosse, suits cut by Verdue, trimmings by Grossette, embroidery by Detanville----

_Sav._ Puppy!--where is your Master?

_Port._ Zounds! you chattering frog-eating dunderhead, can't you see a Gentleman?--'Tis Mr. Saville.

_Frenchm._ Monsieur Saville! _Je suis mort de peur._--Ten tousand pardons! _Excusez mon erreur_, and permit me you conduct to Monsieur Doricourt; he be too happy _à vous voir_. [_Exeunt_ Frenchman _and_ Saville.

_Port._ Step below a bit;--we'll make it out some-how!--I suppose a slice of sirloin won't make the story go down the worse. [_Exeunt_ Porter _and_ Crowquill.