ACT IV.

SCENE----_A Masquerade._

_A Party dancing Cotillons in front--a variety of Characters pass and repass._

_Enter_ Folly _on a Hobby-Horse, with Cap and Bells_.

_Mask._

Hey! Tom Fool! what business have you here?

_Foll._ What, Sir! Affront a Prince in his own Dominions! [_Struts off._

_Mountebank._ Who'll buy my Nostrums? Who'll buy my Nostrums?

_Mask._ What are they? (_They all come round him._)

_Mount._ Different sorts, and for different customers. Here's a Liquor for Ladies--it expels the rage of Gaming and Gallantry; Here's a Pill for Members of Parliament--good to settle Consciences. Here's an Eye-Water for Jealous Husbands--it thickens the Visual Membrane, through which they see too clearly. Here's a Decoction for the Clergy--it never sits easy, if the patient has more than One Living. Here's a Draught for Lawyers--a great promoter of Modesty. Here's a Powder for Projectors--'twill rectify the fumes of an Empty Stomach, and dissipate their airy castles.

_Mask._ Have you a Nostrum that can give patience to Young Heirs, whose Uncles and Fathers are stout and healthy?

_Mount._ Yes; and I have an Infusion for Creditors--it gives resignation and humility, when Fine Gentlemen break their promises, or plead their privilege.

_Mask._ Come along:--I'll find you customers for your whole cargo.

_Enter_ Hardy, _in the Dress of_ Isaac Mendoza.

_Hardy._ Why, isn't it a shame to see so many stout, well-built Young Fellows, masquerading, and cutting _Couranta's_ here at home--instead of making the French cut capers to the tune of your Cannon--or sweating the Spaniards with an English _Fandango_?--I foresee the end of all this.

_Mask._ Why, thou little testy Israelite! back to Duke's Place; and preach your tribe into a subscription for the good of the land on whose milk and honey ye fatten.--Where are your Joshuas and your Gideons, aye? What! all dwindled into Stockbrokers, Pedlars, and Rag-Men?

_Har._ No, not all. Some of us turn Christians, and by degrees grow into all the privileges of Englishmen! In the second generation we are Patriots, Rebels, Courtiers, and Husbands. [_Puts his fingers to his forehead._]

_Two other Masks advance._

_3d Mask._ What, my little Isaac!----How the Devil came you here? Where's your old Margaret?

_Har._ Oh, I have got rid of her.

_3d Mask._ How?

_Har._ Why, I persuaded a young Irishman that she was a blooming plump Beauty of eighteen; so they made an Elopement, ha! ha! ha! and she is now the Toast of Tipperary. Ha! there's Cousin Racket and her Party; they sha'n't know me. [_Puts on his Mask._

_Enter Mrs._ Racket, _Lady_ Frances, _Sir_ George, _and_ Flutter.

_Mrs. Rack._ Look at this dumpling Jew; he must be a Levïte by his figure. You have surely practised the flesh-hook a long time, friend, to have raised that goodly presence.

_Har._ About as long, my brisk Widow, as you have been angling for a second Husband; but my hook has been better baited than your's.--You have only caught Gudgeons, I see. [_Pointing to_ Flutter.

_Flut._ Oh! this is one of the Geniuses they hire to entertain the Company with their _accidental_ sallies.----Let me look at your Common-Place Book, friend.--I want a few good things.

_Har._ I'd oblige you, with all my heart; but you'll spoil them in repeating--or, if you shou'd not, they'll gain you no reputation--for no body will believe they are your own.

_Sir Geo._ He knows ye, Flutter;--the little Gentleman fancies himself a Wit, I see.

_Har._ There's no depending on what _you_ see--the eyes of the jealous are not to be trusted.--Look to your Lady.

_Flut._ He knows ye, Sir George.

_Sir Geo._ What! am I the Town-talk? [_Aside_]

_Har._ I can neither see Doricourt nor Letty.--I must find them out. [_Exit_ Hardy.

_Mrs. Rack._ Well, Lady Frances, is not all this charming? Could you have conceived such a brilliant assemblage of objects?

_Lady Fran._ Delightful! The days of enchantment are restor'd; the columns glow with Sapphires and Rubies. Emperors and Fairies, Beauties and Dwarfs, meet me at every step.

_Sir Geo._ How lively are first impressions on sensible minds! In four hours, vapidity and languor will take place of that exquisite sense of joy, which flutters your little heart.

_Mrs. Rack._ What an inhuman creature! Fate has not allow'd us these sensations above ten times in our lives; and would you have us shorten them by anticipation?

_Flut._ O Lord! your Wise Men are the greatest Fools upon earth:--they reason about their enjoyments, and analyse their pleasures, whilst the essence escapes. Look, Lady Frances: D'ye see that Figure strutting in the dress of an Emperor? His Father retails Oranges in Botolph Lane. That Gypsey is a Maid of Honour, and that Rag-man a Physician.

_Lady Fran._ Why, you know every body.

_Flut._ Oh, every creature.--A Mask is nothing at all to me.--I can give you the history of half the people here. In the next apartment there's a whole family, who, to my knowledge, have lived on Water-Cresses this month, to make a figure here to-night;--but, to make up for that, they'll cram their pockets with cold Ducks and Chickens, for a Carnival to-morrow.

_Lady Fran._ Oh, I should like to see this provident Family.

_Flut._ Honour me with your arm. [_Exeunt_ Flutter _and Lady_ Frances.

_Mrs. Rack._ Come, Sir George, you shall be _my_ Beau.--We'll make the _tour_ of the rooms, and meet them. Oh! your pardon, you must follow Lady Frances; or the wit and fine parts of Mr. Flutter may drive you out of her head. Ha! ha! ha! [_Exit Mrs._ Racket.

_Sir Geo._ I was going to follow her, and now I dare not. How can I be such a fool as to be govern'd by the _fear_ of that ridicule which I despise! [_Exit Sir_ George.

_Enter_ Doricourt, _meeting a Mask_.

_Doric._ Ha! my Lord!--I thought you had been engaged at Westminster on this important night.

_Mask._ So I am--I slipt out as soon as Lord Trope got upon his legs; I can _badinage_ here an hour or two, and be back again before he is down.----There's a fine Figure! I'll address her.

_Enter_ Letitia.

Charity, fair Lady! Charity for a poor Pilgrim.

_Letit._ Charity! If you mean my prayers, Heaven grant thee Wit, Pilgrim.

_Mask._ That blessing would do from a Devotee: from you I ask other charities;--such charities as Beauty should bestow--soft Looks--sweet Words--and kind Wishes.

_Letit._ Alas! I am bankrupt of these, and forced to turn Beggar myself.----There he is!--how shall I catch his attention?

_Mask._ Will you grant me no favour?

_Letit._ Yes, one--I'll make you my Partner--not for life, but through the soft mazes of a minuet.--Dare you dance?

_Doric._ Some spirit in that.

_Mask._ I dare do any thing you command.

_Doric._ Do you know her, my Lord?

_Mask._ No: Such a woman as that, would formerly have been known in any disguise; but Beauty is now common--Venus seems to have given her _Cestus_ to the whole sex.

_A Minuet._

_Doric._ (_during the Minuet_) She dances divinely.--(_When ended_) Somebody must know her! Let us enquire who she is. [_Exit._

_Enter_ Saville _and_ Kitty Willis, _habited like Lady_ Frances.

_Sav._ I have seen Courtall in Sir George's habit, though he endeavoured to keep himself conceal'd. Go, and seat yourself in the tea-room, and on no account discover your face:--remember too, Kitty, that the Woman you are to personate is a Woman of Virtue.

_Kitty._ I am afraid I shall find that a difficult character: indeed I believe it is seldom kept up through a whole Masquerade.

_Sav._ Of that _you_ can be no judge----Follow my directions, and you shall be rewarded. [_Exit_ Kitty.

_Enter_ Doricourt.

_Dor._ Ha! Saville! Did you see a Lady dance just now?

_Sav._ No.

_Dor._ Very odd. No body knows her.

_Sav._ Where is Miss Hardy?

_Dor._ Cutting Watch-papers, and making Conundrums, I suppose.

_Sav._ What do you mean?

_Dor._ Faith, I hardly know. She's not here, however, Mrs. Racket tells me.--I ask'd no further.

_Sav._ Your indifference seems increas'd.

_Dor._ Quite the reverse; 'tis advanced thirty-two degrees towards hatred.

_Sav._ You are jesting?

_Dor._ Then it must be with a very ill grace, my dear Saville; for I never felt so seriously: Do you know the creature's almost an Ideot?

_Sav._ What!

_Dor._ An Ideot. What the devil shall I do with her? Egad! I think I'll feign myself mad--and then Hardy will propose to cancel the engagements.

_Sav._ An excellent expedient. I must leave you; you are mysterious, and I can't stay to unravel ye.--I came here to watch over Innocence and Beauty.

_Dor._ The Guardian of Innocence and Beauty at three and twenty! Is there not a cloven foot under that black gown, Saville?

_Sav._ No, faith. Courtall is here on a most detestable design.--I found means to get a knowledge of the Lady's dress, and have brought a girl to personate her, whose reputation cannot be hurt.--You shall know the result to-morrow. Adieu. [_Exit_ Saville.

_Dor._ (_musing_) Yes, I think that will do.--I'll feign myself mad, see the Doctor to pronounce me incurable, and when the parchments are destroyed----

[_As he stands in a musing posture_, Letitia _enters, and sings_.]

SONG.

_Wake! thou Son of Dullness, wake!_ _From thy drowsy senses shake_ _All the spells that Care employs,_ _Cheating Mortals of their joys._

II.

_Light-wing'd Spirits, hither haste!_ _Who prepare for mortal taste_ _All the gifts that Pleasure sends,_ _Every bliss that youth attends._

III.

_Touch his feelings, rouze his soul,_ _Whilst the sparkling moments roll;_ _Bid them wake to new delight,_ _Crown the magic of the night._

_Dor._ By Heaven, the same sweet creature!

_Let._ You have chosen an odd situation for study. Fashion and Taste preside in this spot:--they throw their spells around you:--ten thousand delights spring up at their command;--and you, a Stoic--a being without senses, are wrapt in reflection.

_Dor._ And you, the most charming being in the world, awake me to admiration. Did you come from the Stars?

_Let._ Yes, and I shall reascend in a moment.

_Dor._ Pray shew me your face before you go.

_Let._ Beware of imprudent curiosity; it lost Paradise.

_Dor._ Eve's curiosity was rais'd by the Devil;--'tis an Angel tempts mine.--So your allusion is not in point.

_Let._ But _why_ would you see my face?

_Dor._ To fall in love with it.

_Let._ And what then?

_Dor._ Why, then--Aye, curse it! there's the rub. [_Aside._]

_Let._ Your Mistress will be angry;--but, perhaps, you have no Mistress?

_Dor._ Yes, yes; and a sweet one it is!

_Let._ What! is she old?

_Dor._ No.

_Let._ Ugly?

_Dor._ No.

_Let._ What then?

_Dor._ Pho! don't talk about _her_; but shew me your face.

_Let._ My vanity forbids it;--'twould frighten you.

_Dor._ Impossible! Your Shape is graceful, your Air bewitching, your Bosom transparent, and your Chin would tempt me to kiss it, if I did not see a pouting red Lip above it, that demands----

_Let._ You grow too free.

_Dor._ Shew me your face then--only half a glance.

_Let._ Not for worlds.

_Dor._ What! you will have a little gentle force? [_Attempts to seize her Mask._

_Let._ I am gone for ever! [_Exit._

_Dor._ 'Tis false;--I'll follow to the end. [_Exit._

Flutter, _Lady_ Frances, _and_ Saville _advance_.

_Lady Fran._ How can you be thus interested for a stranger?

_Sav._ Goodness will ever interest; its home is Heaven: on earth 'tis but a Wanderer. Imprudent Lady! why have you left the side of your Protector? Where is your Husband?

_Flut._ Why, what's that to him?

_Lady Fran._ Surely it can't be merely his habit;----there's something in him that awes me.

_Flut._ Pho! 'tis only his grey beard.--I know him; he keeps a Lottery-office on Cornhill.

_Sav._ My province, as an Enchanter, lays open every secret to me. Lady! there are dangers abroad--Beware! [_Exit._

_Lady Fran._ 'Tis very odd; his manner has made me tremble. Let us seek Sir George.

_Flut._ He is coming towards us.

Courtall _comes forward, habited like Sir_ George.

_Court._ There she is! If I can but disengage her from that fool Flutter--crown me, ye Schemers, with immortal wreaths.

_Lady Fran._ O my dear Sir George! I rejoice to meet you--an old Conjuror has been frightening me with his Prophecies.--Where's Mrs. Racket?

_Court._ In the dancing-room.--I promis'd to send you to her, Mr. Flutter.

_Flut._ Ah! she wants me to dance. With all my heart. [_Exit._

_Lady Fran._ Why do you keep on your mask?--'tis too warm.

_Court._ 'Tis very warm--I want air--let us go.

_Lady Fran._ You seem quite agitated.----Sha'n't we bid our company adieu?

_Court._ No, no;--there's no time for forms. I'll just give directions to the carriage, and be with you in a moment. (_Going, steps back._) Put on your mask; I have a particular reason for it. [_Exit._

Saville _advances with_ Kitty.

_Sav._ Now, Kitty, you know your lesson. Lady Frances, (_takes off his mask_) let me lead you to your Husband.

_Lady Fran._ Heavens! is Mr. Saville the Conjuror? Sir George is just stept to the door to give directions.--We are going home immediately.

_Sav._ No, Madam, you are deceiv'd: Sir George is this way.

_Lady Fran._ This is astonishing!

_Sav._ Be not alarm'd: you have escap'd a snare, and shall be in safety in a moment. [_Exit_ Saville _and Lady_ Frances.

_Enter_ Courtall, _and seizes_ Kitty's _Hand_.

_Court._ Now!

_Kitty._ 'Tis pity to go so soon.

_Court._ Perhaps I may bring you back, my Angel----but go now, you must. [_Exit._] [_Music._]

Doricourt _and_ Letitia _come forward_.

_Dor._ By Heavens! I never was charm'd till now.--English beauty--French vivacity--wit--elegance. Your name, my Angel!--tell me your name, though you persist in concealing your face.

_Let._ My name has a spell in it.

_Dor._ I thought so; it must be _Charming_.

_Let._ But if reveal'd, the charm is broke.

_Dor._ I'll answer for its force.

_Let._ Suppose it Harriet, or Charlotte, or Maria, or--

_Dor._ Hang Harriet, and Charlotte, and Maria--the name your Father gave ye!

_Let._ That can't be worth knowing, 'tis so transient a thing.

_Dor._ How, transient?

_Let._ Heav'n forbid my name should be _lasting_ till I am married.

_Dor._ Married! The chains of Matrimony are too heavy and vulgar for such a spirit as yours.----The flowery wreaths of Cupid are the only bands you should wear.

_Let._ They are the lightest, I believe: but 'tis possible to wear those of Marriage gracefully.----Throw 'em loosely round, and twist 'em in a True-Lover's Knot for the Bosom.

_Dor._ An Angel! But what will you be when a Wife?

_Let._ A Woman.--If my Husband should prove a Churl, a Fool, or a Tyrant, I'd break his heart, ruin his fortune, elope with the first pretty Fellow that ask'd me--and return the contempt of the world with scorn, whilst my feelings prey'd upon my life.

_Dor._ Amazing! [_Aside_] What if you lov'd him, and he were worthy of your love?

_Let._ Why, then I'd be any thing--and all!--Grave, gay, capricious--the soul of whim, the spirit of variety--live with him in the eye of fashion, or in the shade of retirement----change my country, my sex,--feast with him in an Esquimaux hut, or a Persian pavilion--join him in the victorious war-dance on the borders of Lake Ontario, or sleep to the soft breathings of the flute in the cinnamon groves of Ceylon--dig with him in the mines of Golconda, or enter the dangerous precincts of the Mogul's Seraglo----cheat him of his wishes, and overturn his empire to restore the Husband of my Heart to the blessings of Liberty and Love.

_Dor._ Delightful wildness! Oh, to catch thee, and hold thee for ever in this little cage! [_Attempting to clasp her._

_Let._ Hold, Sir! Though Cupid must give the bait that tempts me to the snare, 'tis Hymen must spread the net to catch me.

_Dor._ 'Tis in vain to assume airs of coldness----Fate has ordain'd you mine.

_Let._ How do you know?

_Dor._ I feel it _here_. I never met with a Woman so perfectly to my taste; and I won't believe it form'd you so, on purpose to tantalize me.

_Let._ This moment is worth a whole existence. [_Aside._]

_Dor._ Come, shew me your face, and rivet my chains.

_Let._ To-morrow you shall be satisfied.

_Dor._ To-morrow! and not to-night?

_Let._ No.

_Dor._ Where then shall I wait on you to-morrow?----Where see you?

_Let._ You shall see me in an hour when you least expect me.

_Dor._ Why all this mystery?

_Let._ I like to be mysterious. At present be content to know that I am a Woman of Family and Fortune. Adieu!

_Enter_ Hardy.

_Har._ Adieu! Then I am come at the fag end. [_Aside._]

_Dor._ Let me see you to your carriage.

_Let._ As you value knowing me, stir not a step. If I am follow'd, you never see me more. [_Exit._

_Dor._ Barbarous Creature! She's gone! What, and is this really serious?--am I in love?----Pho! it can't be----O Flutter! do you know that charming Creature?

_Enter_ Flutter.

_Flut._ What charming Creature? I pass'd a thousand.

_Dor._ She went out at that door, as you enter'd.

_Flut._ Oh, yes;--I know her very well.

_Dor._ Do you, my dear Fellow? Who?

_Flut._ She's kept by Lord George Jennett.

_Har._ Impudent Scoundrel! [_Aside._]

_Dor._ Kept!!!

_Flut._ Yes; Colonel Gorget had her first;--then Mr. Loveill;--then--I forget exactly how many; and at last she's Lord George's. [_Talks to other Masks._]

_Dor._ I'll murder Gorget, poison Lord George, and shoot myself.

_Har._ Now's the time, I see, to clear up the whole. Mr. Doricourt!--I say--Flutter was mistaken; I know who you are in love with.

_Dor._ A strange _rencontre_! Who?

_Har._ My Letty.

_Dor._ Oh! I understand your rebuke;--'tis too soon, Sir, to assume the Father-in-law.

_Har._ Zounds! what do you mean by that? I tell you that the Lady you admire, is Letitia Hardy.

_Dor._ I am glad _you_ are so well satisfied with the state of my heart.--I wish _I_ was. [_Exit._

_Har._ Stop a moment.--Stop, I say! What, you won't? Very well--if I don't play you a trick for this, may I never be a Grand-father! I'll plot _with_ Letty now, and not against her; aye, hang me if I don't. There's something in my head, that shall tingle in his heart.--He shall have a lecture upon impatience, that I foresee he'll be the better for as long as he lives. [_Exit._

Saville _comes forward with other Masks_.

_Sav._ Flutter, come with us; we're going to raise a laugh at Courtall's.

_Flut._ With all my heart. "Live to Live," was my Father's motto: "Live to Laugh," is mine. [_Exit._

SCENE----Courtall's.

_Enter_ Kitty _and_ Courtall.

_Kitty._ Where have you brought me, Sir George? This is not our home.

_Court._ 'Tis _my_ home, beautiful Lady Frances! [_Kneels, and takes off his Mask._] Oh, forgive the ardency of my passion, which has compell'd me to deceive you.

_Kitty._ Mr. Courtall! what will become of me?

_Court._ Oh, say but that you pardon the Wretch who adores you. Did you but know the agonizing tortures of my heart, since I had the felicity of conversing with you this morning----or the despair that now--[_Knock._]

_Kitty._ Oh! I'm undone!

_Court._ Zounds! my dear Lady Frances. I am not at home. Rascal! do you hear?----Let no body in; I am not at home.

_Serv._ [_Without_] Sir, I told the Gentlemen so.

_Court._ Eternal curses! they are coming up. Step into this room, adorable Creature! _one_ moment; I'll throw them out of the window if they stay three. [_Exit_ Kitty; _through the back scene_.

_Enter_ Saville, Flutter, _and Masks_.

_Flut._ O Gemini! beg the Petticoat's pardon.--Just saw a corner of it.

_1st Mask._ No wonder admittance was so difficult. I thought you took us for Bailiffs.

_Court._ Upon my soul, I am devilish glad to see you--but you perceive how I am circumstanc'd. Excuse me at this moment.

_2d Mask._ Tell us who 'tis then.

_Court._ Oh, fie!

_Flut._ We won't blab.

_Court._ I can't, upon honour.--Thus far--She's a Woman of the first Character and Rank. Saville, [_takes him aside_] have I influence, or have I not?

_Sav._ Why, sure, you do not insinuate--

_Court._ No, not insinuate, but swear, that she's now in my bed-chamber:--by gad, I don't deceive you.--There's Generalship, you Rogue! Such an humble, distant, sighing Fellow as thou art, at the end of a six-months siege, would have _boasted_ of a kiss from her glove.----I only give the signal, and--pop!--she's in my arms.

_Sav._ What, Lady Fran----

_Court._ Hush! You shall see her name to-morrow morning in red letters at the end of my list. Gentlemen, you must excuse me now. Come and drink chocolate at twelve, but--

_Sav._ Aye, let us go, out of respect to the Lady:--'tis a Person of Rank.

_Flut._ Is it?--Then I'll have a peep at her. (_Runs to the door in the back Scene._)

_Court._ This is too much, Sir. (_Trying to prevent him._)

_1st Mask._ By Jupiter, we'll all have a peep.

_Court._ Gentlemen, consider--for Heaven's sake----a Lady of Quality. What will be the consequences?

_Flut._ The consequences!--Why, you'll have your throat cut, that's all--but I'll write your Elegy. So, now for the door! [_Part open the door, whilst the rest hold_ Courtall.]----Beg your Ladyship's pardon, whoever you are: [_Leads her out._] Emerge from darkness like the glorious Sun, and bless the wond'ring circle with your charms. [_Takes off her Mask._]

_Sav._ Kitty Willis! ha! ha! ha!

_Omnes._ Kitty Willis! ha! ha! ha! Kitty Willis!

_1st Mask._ Why, what a Fellow you are, Courtall, to attempt imposing on your friends in this manner! A Lady of Quality--an Earl's Daughter--Your Ladyship's most obedient.----Ha! ha! ha!

_Sav._ Courtall, have you influence, or have you not?

_Flut._ The Man's moon-struck.

_Court._ Hell, and ten thousand Furies, seize you all together!

_Kitty._ What! me, too, Mr. Courtall? me, whom you have knelt to, prayed to, and adored?

_Flut._ That's right, Kitty; give him a little more.

_Court._ Disappointed and laugh'd at!----

_Sav._ Laugh'd at and despis'd. I have fullfilled my design, which was to expose your villainy, and laugh at your presumption. Adieu, Sir! Remember how you again boast of your influence with Women of Rank; and, when you next want amusement, dare not to look up to the virtuous and to the noble for a Companion. [_Exit, leading_ Kitty.

_Flut._ And, Courtall, before you carry a Lady into your bed-chamber again, look under her mask, d'ye hear? [_Exit._

_Court._ There's no bearing this! I'll set off for Paris directly. [_Exit._

END OF THE FOURTH ACT.