SCENE I.--_Lincoln's-Inn.

_Enter_ Saville, _followed by a Servant, at the top of the stage, looking round, as if at a loss_.

_Saville._

Lincoln's-Inn!--Well, but where to find him, now I am in Lincoln's-Inn?--Where did he say his Master was?

_Serv._ He only said in Lincoln's-Inn, Sir.

_Sav._ That's pretty! And your wisdom never enquired at whose chambers?

_Serv._ Sir, you spoke to the servant yourself.

_Sav._ If I was too impatient to ask questions, you ought to have taken directions, blockhead!

_Enter_ Courtall _singing_.

Ha, Courtall!--Bid him keep the horses in motion, and then enquire at all the chambers round. [_Exit servant._

What the devil brings you to this part of the town?--Have any of the Long Robes, handsome wives, sisters or chambermaids?

_Court._ Perhaps they have;--but I came on a different errand; and, had thy good fortune brought thee here half an hour sooner, I'd have given thee such a treat, ha! ha! ha!

_Sav._ I'm sorry I miss'd it: what was it?

_Court._ I was informed a few days since, that my cousins Fallow were come to town, and desired earnestly to see me at their lodgings in Warwick-Court, Holborn. Away drove I, painting them all the way as so many Hebes. They came from the farthest part of Northumberland, had never been in town, and in course were made up of rusticity, innocence, and beauty.

_Sav._ Well!

_Court._ After waiting thirty minutes, during which there was a violent bustle, in bounced five fallow damsels, four of them maypoles;--the fifth, Nature, by way of variety, had bent in the Æsop style.--But they all opened at once, like hounds on a fresh scent:--"Oh, cousin Courtall!--How do you do, cousin Courtall! Lord, cousin, I am glad you are come! We want you to go with us to the Park, and the Plays, and the Opera, and Almack's, and all the fine places!"----The devil, thought I, my dears, may attend you, for I am sure I won't.--However, I heroically stayed an hour with them, and discovered, the virgins were all come to town with the hopes of leaving it--Wives:--their heads full of Knight-Baronights, Fops, and adventures.

_Sav._ Well, how did you get off?

_Court._ Oh, pleaded a million engagements.----However, conscience twitched me; so I breakfasted with them this morning, and afterwards 'squired them to the gardens here, as the most private place in town; and then took a sorrowful leave, complaining of my hard, hard fortune, that obliged me to set off immediately for Dorsetshire, ha! ha! ha!

_Sav._ I congratulate your escape!--Courtall at Almack's, with five aukward country cousins! ha! ha! ha!--Why, your existence, as a Man of Gallantry, could never have survived it.

_Court._ Death, and fire! had they come to town, like the rustics of the last age, to see Paul's, the Lions, and the Wax-work--at their service;--but the cousins of our days come up Ladies--and, with the knowledge they glean from magazines and pocket-books, Fine Ladies; laugh at the bashfulness of their grandmothers, and boldly demand their _entrées_ in the first circles.

_Sav._ Where can this fellow be!--Come, give me some news--I have been at war with woodcocks and partridges these two months, and am a stranger to all that has passed out of their region.

_Court._ Oh! enough for three Gazettes. The Ladies are going to petition for a bill, that, during the war, every man may be allowed Two Wives.

_Sav._ 'Tis impossible they should succeed, for the majority of both Houses know what it is to have one.

_Court._ Gallantry was black-ball'd at the _Coterie_ last Thursday, and Prudence and Chastity voted in.

_Sav._ Ay, that may hold 'till the Camps break up.--But have ye no elopements? no divorces?

_Court._ Divorces are absolutely out, and the Commons-Doctors starving; so they are publishing trials of _Crim. Con._ with all the separate evidences at large; which they find has always a wonderful effect on their trade, actions tumbling in upon them afterwards, like mackarel at Gravesend.

_Sav._ What more?

_Court._ Nothing--for weddings, deaths, and politics, I never talk of, but whilst my hair is dressing. But prithee, Saville, how came you in town, whilst all the qualified gentry are playing at pop-gun on Coxheath, and the country over-run with hares and foxes?

_Sav._ I came to meet my friend Doricourt, who, you know, is lately arrived from Rome.

_Court._ Arrived! Yes, faith, and has cut us all out!--His carriage, his liveries, his dress, himself, are the rage of the day! His first appearance set the whole _Ton_ in a ferment, and his valet is besieged by _levées_ of taylors, habit-makers, and other Ministers of Fashion, to gratify the impatience of their customers for becoming _à la mode de Doricourt_. Nay, the beautiful Lady Frolic, t'other night, with two sister Countesses, insisted upon his waistcoat for muffs; and their snowy arms now bear it in triumph about town, to the heart-rending affliction of all our _Beaux Garçons_.

_Sav._ Indeed! Well, those little gallantries will soon be over; he's on the point of marriage.

_Court._ Marriage! Doricourt on the point of marriage! 'Tis the happiest tidings you could have given, next to his being hanged--Who is the Bride elect?

_Sav._ I never saw her; but 'tis Miss Hardy, the rich heiress--the match was made by the parents, and the courtship begun on their nurses knees; Master used to crow at Miss, and Miss used to chuckle at Master.

_Court._ Oh! then by this time they care no more for each other, than I do for my country cousins.

_Sav._ I don't know that; they have never met since thus high, and so, probably, have some regard for each other.

_Court._ Never met! Odd!

_Sav._ A whim of Mr. Hardy's; he thought his daughter's charms would make a more forcible impression, if her lover remained in ignorance of them 'till his return from the Continent.

_Enter_ Saville's _Servant_.

_Serv._ Mr. Doricourt, Sir, has been at Counsellor Pleadwell's, and gone about five minutes. [_Exit Servant._

_Serv._ Five minutes! Zounds! I have been five minutes too late all my life-time!--Good morrow, Courtall; I must pursue him. (_Going._)

_Court._ Promise to dine with me to-day; I have some honest fellows. (_Going off on the opposite side._)

_Sav._ Can't promise; perhaps I may.--See there, there's a bevy of female Patagonians, coming down upon us.

_Court._ By the Lord, then, it must be my strapping cousins.--I dare not look behind me--Run, man, run. [_Exit, on the same side._