Category: Humour
I've been intending ever since I got home from Yourope, to begin ritin' in a diry, but I ain't had no time, cos my chum Jimmy and me has been puttin' in our days havin' fun. I've got to give all that sorter thing up now, cos I've accepted a persisshun in a onherabel perfesshun...
I feel most too tired to rite in you tonite, Mr. Diry, but I guess I'll tell you wot made me feel so xerted. After the meetin and banquet was over last nite, the cullured gentel...
17. CHAPTER XVII.Since the big reduckshun in price of the mornin papers, them wot didnt cum down much hav ben usin all sorts of skeems to keep up their circulashuns, so yesterday Mr. Gilley desi...
24. CHAPTER XXIV.I've lost all conferdense in gals and human nature, lost it all at one fell swoop. Yesterday I'd ben willin to bet a 20-cent seegar that my gal, Maria, would 'er lep cross one o...
11. CHAPTER XI.Jest wen I was lee vin the offis the edittur called me aside and arst me if I thot I was capabel to report the furst performance of “Hosiery Henryettur, or A Boom in Fancy Goods...
16. CHAPTER XVI.HE REPORTS A DRY GOODS OPENIN.--A XPENSIV KOSTUM WOT FINDS ITS WAY TO THE STABLISHMENT OF A JURNULISTICK MILLYUN-HAIR.-- FEMMERNINE FEMMERNINITY'S, WITH MICE AS APPENDAGES.--THE...
27. CHAPTER XXVII.I guess the wurry of collecktin yesterday afternoon muster wurked upon my mind, cos, last nite, I dremt a dreem, wot'd maid each seprate hare on the heds of every delikent subsk...
18. CHAPTER XVIII.Last nite Mr. Gilley giv me a invyta-shun to the fancy masque ball, wot all New York's ben torkin bout for the last six weaks. It was to be a toney affaire, so wen I got hum I w...
22. CHAPTER XXII.Mr. Diry, at this ritin, I guess you're safe in hangin out the hemale chickin, cos all the reports from this city are givin Mr. Gil-ley a 'normous vote, and you bet this devil i...
7. CHAPTER VII.Wen I was round to the hotels, this mornin' gettin the arrivals, I seen sumthin on the regester of the Grand Pacific wot look'd like a cuppel of spiders had ben fitin and got th...
12. CHAPTER XII.The edittur was lookin outer the winder this mornin, wen, who should he spie cummin up the offis steps, but Miss Samanthy Longtung, that's my Sundy skule teecher, wots sweet for...
19. CHAPTER XIX.Our horse reporter is a reglar wimmin hater, and he'd walk round a hull blok, fore he'd meet a gal, wat'd try to flert with him. I guess he's a grass widder that used to hav a w...
3. CHAPTER III.Our offis has got wot is called a xchange fyend wot comes in every mornin wen we get the male and looks over all the papers, cos he's too meen to buy his own readin matter. I kn...
20. CHAPTER XX.Today is Sunday. I kno I ortenter rite in you today Mr. Diry, but, as I've had to rite up a serio commick, religus report, I dont see no big objeckshun ter givin it ter you.
25. CHAPTER XXV.The abuv is a advertisement wot I had put in the _Buster_ this mornin, and all day long I've ben kep busy attendin to the ansurs. The fust lady wot cum in had dropt a plume oute...
2. CHAPTER II.I've jest got my supper, so I guess I'll tell you 'bout my first day's xperience on the Dailey “Buster.” I was down to the offis at 7 'clock, and the mannergin edittur, he detal...
26. CHAPTER XXVI.There's a lot of fellers wot hav brown-stone manshuns up town, and French cooks wot dish em up everything good, from frogs' lim--er--leg to the posterier xten-shun of a eel's sp...
21. CHAPTER XXI.Tomorrer is eleckshun day, so tonite the Republercans hav been havin a gran free strete exhybishun. I'll be orful glad wen the eleckshun is over, 'cos the xcite-ment, & late hou...
13. CHAPTER XIII.You will notis by the above address, that you and me are away from home to-nite, and I spose you orter have sum xplenashun of our doins. Well, wen I got down to the offis this m...
4. CHAPTER IV.I'm in a peck of troubel to-day, wot I'll have ter trust ter Providence to get me outer. A typergraffickal devil ain't s'posed to know everything, enyway. Now the hull offis is...
10. CHAPTER X.HE REPORTS A XERDENT WOT HAPPENED TO J. GOULD AND SETS ALL NEW YORK WILD.--XCITE-MENT IN WALL STREET.--JIMMY NERVOUS.-- YOU CAN TELL THEM BY THE COMPANY THEY KEEPS.
6. CHAPTER VI.Wen I went down to the offis I felt like my resignashun wuld be axceptabel, cos my servises could easyly be dispensed with. I left the door opin wen I went in so as I'd have a a...
8. CHAPTER VIII.There's something to pay to-day, is wot the edither sed to the casheer tonite, wen I walked up to the desk for my $2 in munney and a bushell of gloryfycashun.
1. CHAPTER I.I've been intending ever since I got home from Yourope, to begin ritin' in a diry, but I ain't had no time, cos my chum Jimmy and me has been puttin' in our days havin' fun. I'v...
28. CHAPTER XXVIII.This mornin noose was sorter dull, so the city edittur sent me down to the Stock Exchange for to write up the anticks of the Bulls and Bares. Wen I got down there I guess the an...
14. CHAPTER XIV.My bussum swells to-nite with pride cos we've tuk the town by storm. If peepel warnt all Demmycrats before, they is now, cos our speechyfyin has struck in purty deep. The meetin...
5. CHAPTER V.This mornin our offis was onhered by a visit from a typergraffical torewrist, wot in-terduced hisself as John McNamee. He sed he'd just returned from a xtensive visit in the Wes...
9. CHAPTER IX.Jest as we was leavin the offis Saturday nite I heerd the city editur tell the purlitickal repertoriai liar that he wanted him to hunt up a purlitickal gost, cos the _Buster_ cu...
29. CHAPTER XXIX.Last nite I went over to call on Maria. I thot I'd be prepared, so I washed myself in ma's lavender water, and sprinkeled oh de coloney all over my does. Wen I nocked at Marias...
23. CHAPTER XXIII.Xcitement is at fever heet, and tin horns and bonfires is seen and hurd everywere. We've swep the hull State like a averlanche, and the Republercan partie is deder'n a dore nale...
30. CHAPTER XXX.I aint no devil no more, cos this mornin Mr. Gilley informed me that I was gettin too big for my persishun, and he'd hired a nuther boy to act as the _Busters_ Devil. He sez I c...