Part 3

LITTLE children, draw ye near And learn the courtesy written here; For clerks that well the Seven Arts know,[53] Say Courtesy came to earth below, When Gabriel hailed Our Lady by name, And Elizabeth to Mary came.[53] All virtues are closed[54] in courtesy, And vices all in villainy.[53] Look thy hands be washéd clean, That no filth on thy nails be seen. Take thou no meat till grace be said, And till thou see all things arrayed.[55] Look, my son, that thou not sit, Till the ruler of the house thee bid. And at thy meat, in the beginning, Look on poor men that thou think;[56] For the full stomach ever faileth To understand what the hungry aileth. Eat not thy meat too hastily; Abide and eat thou easily. Till thou have thy full service, Touch thou no mess[56] in no wise. Carve thou not thy bread too thin, Nor break it not in twain. The morsels thou beginnest to touch Cast them not into thy pouch. Put not thy fingers in thy dish, Neither in flesh, neither in fish. Put not thy meat into the salt, Into the cellar, that is a fault;[56] But lay it fairly thee before, Upon thy trencher, that is good lore. Pick not thine ears nor thy nostrils; If thou do, men will say thou come of churls. And while thy meat in thy mouth is, Drink thou not—forget not this. Eat thy meat by small morsels too, Fill not thy mouth, as brothels[57] do. Pick not thy teeth with thy knife. In no company begin thou strife. And when thou hast thy pottage done, Out of thy dish thou put thy spoon. Nor spit thou not over the table, Nor thereupon—that is nothing able.[58] Lay not thy elbow nor thy fist Upon the table whiles thou eat’st. Bulk[59] not, as a bean were in thy throat, As a carl[60] that comes out of a cot. If thy meat be of great price, Beware of it, or thou art not wise. Speak no word, nor still nor stark,[61] And honour and courtesy look thou work.[62] And at the table look thou make good cheer; Look thou whisper not in no man’s ear. With thy fingers[62] thou touch and taste Thy meat, and look thou do no waste. Look thou laugh not neither grin; And with much speech thou may’st do sin. Meat nor drink look thou not spill, But set it down, both fair and still. Keep thy cloth clean thee beforn, And bear thee so thou have no scorn. Bite not thy meat, but carve it clean, Be well aware no drop be seen.[63] When thou eatest gape not too wide, That thy mouth be seen on ilk a side. And son, beware, I rede, of one thing: Blow neither in thy meat nor in thy drink. And if thy lord drink at that tide, Drink thou not, but him abide; Be it at even, be it at noon, Drink thou not till he have done. Upon thy trencher no dirt must be; It is not honest as I tell thee. Nor drink behind no man’s back;[63] For if thou do, thou art to lack. If cheese come forth, be not too greedy, Nor to cut thereof too speedy. Cast not thy bones unto the floor, But on thy trencher thee before. Keep clean thy cloth before thee all, And sit thou still, whatso befall, Till grace be said unto the end, And till thou have washen with thy friend. Let him that worthier is than thou art, Wash before thee; that is thy part. And spit thou not in thy basin My sweet son, that thou washest in. And arise then up, full soft and still, And jangle neither with Jack nor Jill.[64] But take thy leave of the head lowly, And thank him with thine heart highly, And all the gentles together the same,[64] And bare thee so thou have no blame. Then will men thereafter say: “A gentleman was here to-day.” And he that despiseth this teaching, He is not worthy, without leasing, Neither at good man’s table to sit, Nor of no worship for to wit.[65] And therefore, children, for charity, Love this book though it little be, And pray for him that made it thus, That he may be helped by sweet Jesús, To live and die among his friends, And never to be cumbered with no fiends.[66] And give us grace in joy to be, Amen, Amen, for charity! Explicit. Learn or be Lewd, quoth Whytyng.

Here endeth the Book of Courtesy that is full necessary unto young children that must needs learn the manner of courtesy.

THE YOUNG CHILDREN’S BOOK

WHOSO will thrive must be courteous, and learn the virtues in his youth, or in his age he is outcast among men. Clerks who know the Seven Sciences[66] say that Courtesy came from heaven when Gabriel greeted our Lady and Elizabeth met with her; and in it are included all virtues, as all vices in rudeness.

Arise betimes from your bed, cross your breast and your forehead, wash your hands and face, comb your hair, and ask the grace of God to speed you in all your works; then go to Mass and ask mercy for all your trespasses. Say “Good morning” courteously to whomsoever you meet by the way.

When ye have done, break your fast with good meat and drink, but before eating cross your mouth, your diet will be the better for it. Then say your grace—it occupies but little time—and thank the Lord Jesus for your food and drink. Say also a _Pater Noster_ and an _Ave Maria_ for the souls that lie in pain, and then go labour as you are bound to do. Be not idle, for Holy Scripture says to you of Christian faith that if you work, you must eat what you get with your hands.[67] A man’s arms are for working as a bird’s wings for flying.

Look you be true in word and deed, the better shall you prosper; for truth never works a man shame, but rather keeps him out of sin. The ways to Heaven are twain, mercy and truth, say clerks; and he who will come to the life of bliss, must not fail to walk therein.

Make no promise save it be good, and then keep it with all your might, for every promise is a debt that must not be remitted through falsehood.

Love God and your neighbour, and thus may ye say without fear or dread that you keep all the law.

Uncalled go to no council, scorn not the poor, nor hurt any man, learn of him that can teach you, be no flatterer or scoffer, oppress not your servants, be not proud, but meek and gentle, and always walk behind your betters.

When your better shows his will, be silent; and in speaking to any man keep your hands and feet quiet, and look up into his face, and be always courteous.

Point not with your finger at anything, nor be lief[68] to tell tidings. If any man speak well of you or of your friends, he must be thanked. Have few words and wisely placed, for so may you win a good name.

Use no swearing or falsehood in buying or selling, else shall you be shamed at the last. Get your money honestly, and keep out of debt and sin. Be eager to please, and so live in peace and quiet.

Advise you well of whom you speak, and when and where and to whom.

Whenever you come unto a door, say, “God be here,” ere you go further, and speak courteously, wherever you are, to sire or dame or their household.

Stand, and sit not down to meat until you are told by him that rules the hall; and do not change your seat, but sit upright and mannerly where he bids, and eat and drink and be fellowly, and share with him that sits by you—thus teaches Dame Courtesy.

Take your salt with a clean knife.

Be cool of speech and quarrel not, nor backbite a man who is away, but be glad to speak well of all. Hear and see and say nothing, then shall ye not be put to proof.

Hold you pleased with the meat and drink set before you, nor ask for better. Wipe your mouth before you drink lest it foul the edge of the cup; and keep your fingers, your lips and your chin clean, if you would win a good name. When your meat is in your mouth, do not drink or speak or laugh—Dame Courtesy forbids. Praise your fare, wheresoever you be, for whether it be good or bad it must be taken in good part.

Whether you spit near or far, hold your hand before your mouth to hide it.

Keep your knife clean and sharp, and cleanse it on some cut bread, not on the cloth, I bid you; a courteous man is careful of the cloth. Do not put your spoon in the dish or on the edge of it, as the untaught do, or make a noise when you sup as do boys. Do not put the meat off your trencher into the dish, but get a voider and empty it into that.

When your better hands you a cup, take it with both hands lest it fall, and drink yourself and set it by; and if he speaks to you, doff your cap and bow your knee.

Do not scratch yourself at the table so that men call you a daw,[69] nor wipe your nose or nostrils, else men will say you are come of churls. Make neither the cat nor the dog your fellow at the table. And do not play with the spoon, or your trencher, or your knife; but lead your life in cleanliness and honest manners.

This book is made for young children that bide not long at the school.[70] It may soon be conned and learned, and will make them good if they be bad. God give them grace to be virtuous, for so may they thrive.

Amen! quoth Kate.[70]

STANS PUER AD MENSAM[71]

MY dear son, first thyself enable With all thine heart to virtuous discipline; Afore thy sovereign, standing at the table, Dispose thou thyself, after my doctrine, To all nurture thy courage to incline. First, let all recklessness in speaking cease, And keep both hands and fingers still at peace.

Be simple of cheer, cast not thy look aside, Gaze not about, nor turn thy sight over all; Against the post let not thy back abide, Neither make thy mirror of the wall. Pick not thy nose, and most in speciál, Be well aware and set hereon thy thought: Before thy sovereign nor scratch nor pick thee nought.

Whoso speak to thee in any manner place, Lumpishly cast not thy head adown, But with sober cheer look in his face; Demurely walk through streets while in the town. And take good heed of wisdom and renown, That by no wanton laughing thou do no offence, Before thy sovereign, while he is in presence.

Pare clean thy nails, and wash thy hands also, Before thy meat and when thou dost arise; Sit in that place thou art assignéd to, Press not too high in any manner wise. And when thy dinner served before thee lies, Be not too hasty upon thy bread to bite, Lest men of greediness should thee indict.[72]

Grinning and mowing[73] at the table eschew; Cry not too loud; honestly keep silence. To stuff thy jaws with bread it is not due, With full mouth speak not, lest thou do offence. Drink not with bridle[74] for haste or negligence Keep clean thy lips from fat of flesh or fish; Wipe fair thy spoon, nor leave it in thy dish.

Of bitten bread with thy teeth no sops think thou to make; Loud for to sup gainsays all gentleness. With mouth imbrued[75] thy cup thou must not take, In ale, in wine, with hand leave no fatnéss; Nor foul the napery through recklessness. Beware that at the meat thou begin no strife. Thy teeth at table pick not with no knife.

Of honest mirth let be thy dalliance, Swear no oaths and speak no ribaldry; The best morsels—have this in remembrance— Wholly thyself to take do not apply. Part with thy fellows, for that is courtesy. Heap not thy trencher high with many morséls, And from blackness alway keep thy nails.

Of courtesy it is against the law With rudeness, son, to make cause of offence; Of old forfeits[76] upbraid not thy fellow; Toward thy sovereign do reverence. Play with no knife—take heed to my sentence. At meat and at supper keep thee still and soft; Eke to and fro move not thy feet too oft.

Drop not thy breast with stew[77] and other pottáge, Bring no unscoured knives unto the table; Fill not thy spoon lest in the carriáge It spill aside, which were not commendáble. Be quick and ready, meek and serviceáble, Well awaiting to fulfil anon What that thy sovereign commandeth to be done.

And wheresoever thou be to dine or sup, Of gentleness, take salt with thy knife. And be well aware thou blow not in the cup. Reverence thy fellows, begin with them no strife. To thy power keep peace all thy life. Interrupt no man, whereso that thou wend, No man in his tale, till he have made an end.

With thy fingers mark thou not thy tale. Be well advised, and namely, in tender age, To drink measurably both wine and ale. Be not too copious of thy languáge. As time requireth, show not thy viságe Too glad nor sorry, but keep thee even between, For loss, or lucre, or any case suddén.

Be soft[78] in measure, not hasty but tractáble; Over-soft is nought, in no manner thing. To children belongeth not to be vengeáble,[79] Soon movéd and full soon again fighting;[80] And as it is remembered by writing: Wrath of children is soon overgone; With the parts of an apple they be made at one.[81]

In children war is now mirth and now debate; In their quarrel is no great violence; Now play, now weeping, and seldom in one estate, To their complaints give never any credénce. A rod reformeth all their negligence. In their courage[82] no rancour doth abide. Who that spareth the rod all virtues sets aside.

Ah, little ballad, void of eloquence,[83] I pray young children that thee shall see and read, Though thou be copious of sentence, Yet to thy clauses for to take heed, Which into all virtue shall their youth lead. In this writing, though there be no date, If aught be amiss in word, syllable or deed, I submit me to correction without any debate.

HOW THE GOOD WIFE TAUGHT HER DAUGHTER

THE good wife taught her daughter, Full many a time and oft, A full good woman to be; For said she: “Daughter to me dear, Something good now must thou hear, If thou wilt prosper thee.

Daughter, if thou wilt be a wife, Look wisely that thou work; Look lovely and in good life, Love God and Holy Kirk.[84] Go to church whene’er thou may, Look thou spare for no rain, For best thou farest on that day; To commune with God be fain. He must needs well thrive, That liveth well all his life,[85] My lief[86] child.

Gladly give thy tithes and thy offerings both, To the poor and the bed-rid—look thou be not loth. Give of thine own goods and be not too hard, For seldom is the house poor where God is stewárd. Well is he provéd Who the poor hath lovéd, My lief child.

When thou sittest in the church, o’er thy beads bend; Make thou no jangling with gossip or with friend. Laugh thou to scorn neither old body nor young, But be of fair bearing and of good tongue. Through thy fair bearing Thy worship hath increasing, My lief child.

If any man offer thee courtship, and would marry thee, Look that thou scorn him not, whatsoever he be;[87] But show it to thy friends and conceal it naught. Sit not by him nor stand where sin might be wrought, For a slander raised of ill Is evil for to still, My lief child.

The man that shall thee wed before God with a ring, Love thou him and honour most of earthly thing. Meekly thou him answer and not as an atterling,[88] So may’st thou slake his mood,[89] and be his dear darling. A fair word and a meek Doth anger slake, My lief child.

Fair of speech shalt thou be, glad and of mild mood, True in word and in deed, and in conscience good. Keep thee from sin, from villainy and from blame; And look thou bear thee so that none say of thee shame, For he that in good life hath run, Full oft his weal hath won, My lief child.

Be of seemly semblance, wise, and other good cheer; Change not thy countenance for aught that thou may hear. Fare not as a gig,[90] for nought that may betide. Laugh thou not too loud nor yawn thou not too wide. But laugh thou soft and mild, And be not of cheer too wild, My lief child.

And when thou goest on thy way, go thou not too fast, Brandish not with thy head, nor with thy shoulders cast,[91] Have not too many words, from swearing keep aloof, For all such manners come to an evil proof. For he that catcheth to him an evil name, It is to him a foul fame, My lief child.

Go thou not into the town, as it were agaze,[92] From one house to another, for to seek the maze;[93] Nor to sell thy russet,[94] to the market shalt thou go, And then to the tavern to bring thy credit low. For they that taverns haunt From thrift soon come to want, My lief child.

And if thou be in any place where good ale is aloft,[95] Whether that thou serve thereof or that thou sit soft, Measurably thou take thereof, that thou fall in no blame, For if thou be often drunk, it falleth to thy shame. For those that be often drunk— Thrift is from them sunk, My lief child.

Go not to the wrestling or shooting at the cock,[96] As it were a strumpet or a gigggelot[97]; Dwell at home, daughter, and love thy work much, And so thou shalt, my lief child, wax the sooner rich. A merry thing ’tis evermore, A man to be served of his own store, My lief child.

Acquaint thee not with each man that goeth by the street, Though any man speak to thee, swiftly[98] thou him greet; By him do not stand, but let him his way depart, Lest he by his villainy should tempt thy heart. For all men be not true That fair words can shew, My lief child.

Also, for covetousness gifts beware to take; Unless thou know why else,[99] quickly them forsake; For with gifts may men soon women overcome, Though they were as true as steel or as stone. Bound forsooth is she That of any man takes fee,[100] My lief child.

And wisely govern thy house, and serving maids and men, Be thou not too bitter or too debonaire with them; But look well what most needs to be done, And set thy people at it, both rathely[101] and soon. For ready is at need A foredone[102] deed, My lief child.

And if thy husband be from home, let not thy folk do ill, But look who doeth well and who doeth nil; And he that doeth well, quit him well his while, But he that doeth other, serve him as the vile. A foredone deed Will another speed,[103] My lief child.

And if thy time be strait and great be thy need, Then like a housewife set to work with speed; Then will they all do better that about thee stand, For work is sooner done that hath full many a hand. For many a hand and wight Makes a heavy work light; And after thy good service, Thy name shall arise, My lief child.

Whate’er thy household doth, about them must thou wend, And as much as thou mayest, be at that one end, If thou find any fault, make them soon amend, As they have time and space, and may them defend. To compel a deed be done, if there be no space, It is but tyranny, without temperance and grace, My lief child.

And look that all things be well when they their work forsake, Forget thou not the keys into thy ward to take And beware to whom thou trustest, and for no fancy spare, For much harm hath fallen to them that be not ’ware. But, daughter, look thou be wise, and do as I thee teach, And trust none better than thyself, for no fair speech, My lief child.

And give your household their hire at their term-day,[104] Whether they dwell still with thee, or they wend away. Do well by them of the goods thou hast in hold, And then shall they say well of thee, both the young and old. Thy good name to thy friends Great joy and gladness lends, My lief child.

And if thy neighbour’s wife hath on rich attire, Therefore mock not, nor let scorn burn thee as a fire. But thank thou God in heaven for what He may thee give, And so shalt thou, my daughter dear, a good life live, He hath ease in his power, Who thanks the Lord every hour, My lief child.

Housewifely thou shalt go on the working day, For pride, rest, and idleness take thrift away; But when the Holy Day is come, well clothéd shalt thou be, The Holy Day to honour, and God will cherish thee. Have in mind to worship God alway, For much pride comes of the evil day, My lief child.

When thou art a wife, a neighbour for to be, Love then well thy neighbours as God hath commanded thee. It behoveth thee so for to do, And to do to them as thou would’st be done to. If any discord happen, night or day, Make it no worse, mend it if thou may, My lief child.

And if thou art a rich wife, be not then too hard, But welcome fair thy neighbours that come to-thee-ward With meat, drink, and honest cheer, such as thou mayest bid,[105] To each man after his degree, and help the poor at need. And also for hap that may betide, Please well thy neighbours that dwell thee beside, My lief child.