Chapter 3

Lay a wager with your confederate (who must seeme simple or obstinate opposed against you) that standing behinde a dore, you will (by the sounding or ringing of the mony) tell him whether he cast crosse or pile, so as when you are gone, and he hath phillepped the money before the witnesses who are to be cosoned, he must say _What is it_ if it be crosse, or _What i'st_ if it be pile, or some other such signe, as you are agreed vpon; and so you neede not faile to gesse rightly. By this meanes if you haue any inuention, you may seeme to doe an hundred miracles, & to discouer a mans thought, or words spoken a far off.

How to tell where a stolne horse is become.

By meanes of confederacy _Cuthbert Conycatcher_, and one _Swart Rutter_, two that haue taken degrees in _Whittington_ Colledge, abused notably the country people: for _Cuthbert_ would hide away his neighbours horses, kine, colts, &c: and send them to _Swart Rutter_, (whom he before had told where they were) promising to send the parties vnto him, whome he described, and made knowne by diuers signes: so as this _Swart_ would tell them at their first entrance vnto the dore, wherefore they came, and would say that their horses kine &c. were stolne, but the theefe should be forced to bring them backe againe, and leaue them within one mile (south and by west, &c.) of his house: euen as the plot was laid, and the pack made before by Cuthbert & him. This Cuthbert is esteemed of some, & thought to be a witch of others, he is accounted a coniurer, but commonly called a wise man, and are able of themselues, to tell you where any thing that is stolne is, as to build Pauls steeple vp againe.

To make one daunce naked.

It hath bene reported of such fellowes, and such, that they can doe rare feates, as to make one daunce naked. To the effecting of this, make a poore boy confederate with you: so as after charmes and words spoken by you, he vnclothe himselfe and stand naked: seeming (whilst he vndresseth him) to shake, stampe, and crie, still hastening to be vnclothed, till he be starke naked: or if you can procure none to goe so farre, let him only begin to stamp and shake &c. and to vnclothe him, and then you may (for reuerence of the company) seeme to release him.

To make a pot of any such thing standing fast on a cupbord, to fall downe thence by vertue of words.

Lett your cupbord be so placed, as your confederate may hould a black Threed without in the courete, behinde some windowe of that roome, and at a certen lowe word spoken by you, he may pull the same threed, being wound about the pot. And this was the feate of _Eleazer_ the _Iewe_, which _Iosephus_ reporteth to be such a miracle.

Now that we haue spoken of the three principle actes of Legerdemayne and of confederacy, I will go forward, and touch some fewe ordinary feates, which are pretty, yet not altogether to be compared with the rest; I meane for conceipt and nimblenes of the hand, yet such as to the ignorant, and those that knowe not the carriage, will seeme strange and wonderfull.

Of Boxes to alter one graine into another, or to consume the graine or corne to nothing.

There be diuers iugling boxes with false bottomes, wherein many false feates are wrought. First they haue a boxe couered or rather footed alike at each end, the bottome of the one end being no deeper then as it may containe one lane of corne or pepper, glewed there vpon. Then vse they to put into the hollow end thereof some other kind of graine, ground or vnground: then doe they couer it, and put it vnder a hat or candlesticke, and either in putting it thereinto, or pulling it thence, they turne the boxe, and open the contrary end, wherein is shewed a contrary graine, or else they shew the glewed end first, (which end they suddenly thrust into a bag of such graine as is glewed already therevpon) and secondly the empty boxe.

How to conuey (with words and charmes) the corne conteyned in one Box, into another.

There is another boxe fashioned like a bell, whereinto they put so much and such corne as the foresaid hollowe boxe can conteine: then they stop and couer the same with a peece of lether as broad as a tester, which being thrust vp hard to the middle part or waste of the said bell, will sticke fast and beare vp the corne, and if the edge of the same lether be wet, it will hold the better: then take they the other boxe, dipped (as is aforesaid) in corne, and set downe the same vpon the Table, the empty end vpward, saying, that they will conuey the graine therein, into the other boxe or bell, which being set downe somewhat hard vpon the table, the leather & corne therein will fall down, so as the said bell being taken vp from the table: you shal see the corne lying thereon, & the stopple wilbe hidden therewith, & couered, & when you vncouer the other box nothing shal remaine therein, but presently the corne must be swept downe with one hand, into the other, or into your lapp or hatt: many feates may be done with this boxe, as to put therein a toade, affirming the same to be so turned from corne, and then many beholders will suppose the same to be the Iuglers deuill, whereby his feates and myracles are wrought.

How to pull laces innumerable out of your mouth; of what colour or length you list, and neuer any thing seene to be therein.

As for pulling of laces forth of the mouth it is now somewhat stale, whereby Iuglers get much mony among maydes, selling lace by the yarde, putting into their mouthes one round bottome, as fast as they pull out another, & at the iust ende of euery yarde they tie a knott, so as the same resteth vppon their teeth, then cut they off the same, and so the beholders are double and treble deceaued, seeing so much lace as will be conteined in a hat, and the same of what collour you list to name, to bee drawne by so euen yards out of his mouth, and yet the Iugler to talke as though there were nothing at all in his mouth. There are diuers iugling trickes which I am loath to describe for some reasons before alleaged, whereof some are common some rarer and some desperate: I wil therefore shew a few desperate and dangerous iugling knackes, wherein the simple are made thinke, that a silly Iugler with words can hurt and helpe, kill and reuiue any creature at his pleasure: and first to kill any kinde of pullen and to make them reuiue.

To kill a Hen, chicken or Capon and giue it life againe.

Take a hen &c. and trust a naule, or a fine sharpe pointed knife through the middle of the head thereof, the edge toward the bill, so as it may seeme impossible for her to escape death. Then vse words or incantations, and pulling out the knife, lay otes before her and she wil eate and liue, being nothing at all greeued or hurt with the wound, because the braine lyeth so farre behinde in the head as it is not touched, though you thrust your knife betweene the combe and it:[*] And after you haue done this, you may conuert your speech and accions, to the greeuous wounding, and recouering of your owne selfe.

[* Sidenote: The naturall cause why a Hen thrust through the head with a Bodkin doth liue notwithstanding.]

To eate a Knife, and to fetch it forth of another place.

Take a knife, and conuey the same betweene your two hands, so as no parte be seene thereof, but a little of the poynt, which you must so bite at the first as noyse may be made therwith: then seeme to put a great parte therof into your mouth, and letting your hand slip downe, there will appeare to haue bin more in your mouth, then is possible to be conteyned therein: then send for drinke, or vse some other delaye vntill you haue let the said knife slip into your lap, holding both your fists close together as before, and then raise them so from the edge of the table where you sit (for from thence the knife may most priuily slippe downe into your lappe) and in steede of biting the knife, knab a little vppon your naile, and then seeme to thrust the knife into your mouth,[*] opening the hand next vnto it, and thrust vp the other, so as it may appeare to the standers by, that you haue deliuered your hands thereof, and thrust it into your mouth: then call for drinke, after countenance made of pricking, and daunger &c. lastly, put your hand into your lap, and taking that knife into your hand, you may seeme to bring it out from behinde you, or from whence you list: but if you haue another like knife, and a confederate, you may doe twentie notable wonders hereby: as to send a stander by into some garden or Orchard, describing to him some tree or herbe vnder which it sticketh: or else some strangers sheath or pocket &c.

[* Sidenote: This is pretty if it be cleanely done.]

To thrust a bodkin through your head, without any hurt.

Take a Bodkin so made, as the haft being hollow, the blade thereof may slip thereinto: as soone as you holde the poynt downeward, and set the same to your forehead, and seeme to thrust it into your head: and so (with a little sponge in your hand) you may wringe out blood or wine, making the beholders thinke the blood or wine (whereof you may say you haue drunke very much) runneth out of your forehead: Then after countenance of paine and greefe, pull away your hand suddenly, holding the poynt downeward, and it will fall so out, as it will seeme neuer to haue bin thrusted into the hafte: But immediately thrust that bodkin into your lappe or pocket, and pull out another playne bodkin like the same, sauing in that conceite.

To cut halfe your nose in sunder, and to heale it againe presently without any salue.

Take a knife, hauing a round hollow gappe in the middle, and lay it vppon your nose, and so shall you seeme to haue cut your nose in sunder:[*] prouided alwaies that in all these, you haue another like knife without a gap to be shewed vppon pulling out of the same and words of inchauntments to speake: Blood also to bewraye the wounde, and nimble conueyance.

[Sidenote: This is easily don, howbeit being nimbly done it will deceaue the sight of the beholders.]

To put a Ring through your cheeke.

There is pretty Knack, which seemeth dangerous to the cheeke: for the accomplishment whereof, you must haue two rings of like coullour and quantity, the one filed asunder, so as you may thrust it vpon your cheeke: the other must be whole and conueyed vpon a sticke, holding your hand therevpon in the middle of the sticke, deliuering each end of the same sticke to be holden fast by a stander by, then pulling the ring out of your cheeke, cleanely strike it against same part of the sticke, keeping it still in your hand, then pull your other hand from the sticke, and pulling it away, whirle about the ring, and so it will be thought that you haue put thereon the Ring which was in your cheeke.

Many other pretty feates of this nature might be here sett downe, as to cut of ones head and to laye it in a platter, which Iuglers cal the decollation of _S. Iohn_ the Baptist, also to thrust a dagger or bodkin through your gutts very strangely, and to recouer imediately: after another way then with the bodkyn before rehearsed, also to draw a corde through your nose, mouth or hande so sencibly, as is wonderful to see, al which with many more, I here forbeare for breuities sake. There is a very pretty trick to make wine or beere, to come out of your browe, or eare, with a funnell after you haue drank the same, the which I am loath to discouer, as not willing to haue all the poore Iugglers trickes made known at once: there is a way to make fire to come out of your mouth by burning of towe, all which for reasons before aleadged, I wil here omit to discouer. But will hie me to another sorte of Iugglers, or rather cosoners, calling themselues by the name of alchimistes, professing themselues learned men, and to haue the Philosophers stone, these professors of the mysty or smokie science, studie and cast about how to ouer-reach and cosen the simple, and such as are giuen to coueteousnes or greedy desire after gaine, with such they insinuate themselues by little and little, professing a shew of honesty and plainnes, vntill they are acquainted with their desires, and found the length of their foote: telling them that they can doe wonders, make siluer of copper, and golde of siluer. Such a one a while agoe was in Battersey, who comming poore to towne, made some of the towne beleeue he had the Philosophers stone: wherevpon, one of the rest beleuing him, desired to be better acquainted with him: insomuch, that he requested him to take a poore bed at his house, and offred him great kindenesse, hoping in time to get some skil of him towards the attaining of the Philosophers stone: vpon a day as this Smith (for so imagine him to be) and beggerly Artist were together, desired him of all loues to impart to him some of his learning, assuring him, if it lay in his power to doe him a pleasure, he should not faile, protesting that both his purse and himselfe were both at his comaund: Herevpon, to be short, my Gentleman at the first was somewhat scrupilous, yet at the earnest request of his newe friend, did at last condiscende, charging him to be secret in what he should disclose vnto him. The Smith swore to be silent: then my cosoning copesmate instructs him as followeth.

In the month of Iuly, search for the seede of Fearne, which must be first and principall matter of working this, and effecting this hidden secret, and qd. he, if you had but an ounce of this fearneseede, thou shalt be made for euer, for it is very hard to finde: heerevpon he gets vp the next morning (for it was about the same time of the yeare which he prescribd him to search for this inestimable seede) and lookes very dilligently about the heath, (where store of fearne growes: but hauing) spent most part of the day in searching and looking, his backe ready to cracke with stooping, and his throate furd with dust, for want of small beere, so that the poore Smith was ready to faint for want of foode: by chance one of the towne came by, and seeing him search so dilligently vp & downe, and could not guesse for what, asked him what he sought for so busily? O quoth the Smith, for a thing that if I could finde, I should be made for euer: why quoth the fellow what I prethee ist? O no quoth the Smith I may not tell you: not tell me quoth the fellow, why what ist? I prethee tell me: at last, at the earnest entreaty of the fellow, the smith told he looked for fearne seede: with that the fellow laughed a good, and asked him who willed him to looke for that? that did M. _Etseb_ quoth the smith, and if I can but finde one ounce of it, it would be of much worth: worth quoth the fellow, he that set thee to looke for that was a foole and thou art an Asse, for there was neuer any fearne seede as yet seene: therefore get thee home to the forge, for he makes but a foole of thee: at this the smith was blancke, and got him home to his anuill: but how the smith and the Alcumister, agreed vpon the reckoning for his cosening him, I meane not heere to deliuer: but this I bring in by the way, to shew that their art is nothing but deceipt, and themselues cosoners, which by two pretty tales I will declare vnto you,

How an Alcumister cousoned a priest.

_Chaucer_ in one of his Canterbury tales, rehearseth this test of a cousoning Alcumist: espying on a day a coueteous priest, whose purse he knew to be well lyned: assaulted him with flattery and kinde speech, two principall points belonging to this art: at length he borrowed mony of this priest, which is the third part of this art, without the which the professors can doe no good, nor endure in good estate: then he at his day repayed the mony, which is the most difficult poynt in this art, and a rare experiment: finally to requite the priests curtesie, he promised vnto him such instructions, as therby within short time he should become infinitely rich, and all through this art of multiplication: and this is the most common point in this science, for heerein they must be skilfull before they be famous or attaine to any credit: the Preist disliked not his proffer, especially because it tended to his profit, and embraced his curtesie: then the foole-taker bad him send forthwith for three ounces of quicke-siluer, which hee said he would transubstantiate (by his art) into perfect siluer: the Priest thought nothing of deceit, but with great ioy accomplished his request.

And now forsooth goeth this iolly Alcumist about his busines, and worke of multiplication, and causeth the Priest to make a fire of coles, in the bottome whereof he placeth a croslet, and pretending onely to helpe the Priest to lay the coles handsomely, he foysteth into the middle ward or lane of coles, a beechen cole, within which was conueyed an ingot of perfect siluer, (which when the cole was consumed slipt down into the croslet, that was I say directly vnder it.) The Priest perceaued not the fraud, but receaued the ingot of siluer, and was not a little ioyfull to see such certen successe proceed from his own handy worke, wherein could be no fraud (as he surely conceaued) and therefore very dilligently gaue the knaue forty pounds, for the receit of this experiment, who for that summe of mony, taught him a lesson in Alcumistry, but he neuer returned to heare repetitions or to see how hee profited.

A merry tale how a cosoning Alcumist deceaued a country Gentleman.

A Gentleman in Kent of good worth, not long sithence was ouertaken by a cosoning knaue, who professed Alcumistry, Iugling, Witch craft, and coniuration, and by meanes of his companions and confederates, found the simplicitie and abilitie of the said Gentleman, & learnt his estate and humors to be conuenient for his purpose, and at last came a wooing to his daughter, to whome hee made loue cunningly in words, though his purpose tended to another end: and among other illusions and tales, concerning his owne commendations, for wealth, parentage, inheritance, alliance, learning and cunning, be bosted of the knowledge and experience in Alcumistry, making the simple Gentleman beleeue that he could multiply, and of one Angell make two or three, which seemed strange to the Gentleman: insomuch as he became willing enough to see that conclusion: whereby the Alcumister had more hope and comfort to attaine his desire, then if his daughter had yeelded to haue married him: to bee short, he in the presence of the said Gentleman, did include within a little ball of virgins ware a couple of Angells, & after certaine ceremonies and coniuring words, he seemed to deliuer the same vnto him, but in truth, through Legerdemaine, he conueyed into the Gentlemans hand, another ball of the same scantling, wherein were inclosed many more Angells then were in the ball which he thought he had receaued, Now (forsooth) the Alcumister bad him lay vp the same ball of ware, and also vse certaine ceremonies, (which I thought good heere to omit) and after certaine daies, houres, and minutes, they returned together according to the appointment, and found great gaines by multiplication of the angels, insomuch that he being a plaine man, was heereby perswaded that he should not onely haue a rare and notable good sonne in law, but a companion that might helpe to ad vnto his wealth much treasure, and to his estate great fortune and felicity: and to encrease this opinion in him, as also to winne his further fauour: but especially to bring his cunning Alcumistry, or rather his lend purpose to passe, he tolde him that it were folly to multiply a pound of gold, when as easily they might multiply a million, and therefore counselled him to produce al the money he had, or could borrowe of his neighbours, and freendes, and did put him out of doubt, that he would multiply the same, & reduble it exceedingly, euen as he sawe by experience how he delt with the smal somme before his face: this Gent. in hope of gaines and preferment, consented to his sweete motion, & brought out and layd before his feete, not the one halfe of his goodes, but all that he had, or could make or borrowe any manner of waye: then this Iuggling Alchimister hauing obtayned his purpose, foulded the same in a ball in quantity far bigger then the other. And conuaying the same vnto his bosome or pocket, deliuered another Ball (as before) in the like quantity, to be reserued, and safely kept in his cheste, whereof (because the matter was of importance) eyther of them must haue a keye, and a seuerall lock, that no interruption might be made to the ceremuny, or abuse by either of them in defrawding eche other. Now forsooth the circumstances, and ceremonies being ended & the Alchimisters purpose thereby performed, he tould the Gent. that vntil a certen day and hower lymited to retorne, either of them might imploye themselues about theire busines, and necessarie affaires, the Gent. to his busines, and he to the citty of London. And in the meane tyme the gould should multiply, But the Alchimister (belike) hauing other matters of more importance, cam not iust at the hower appoynted nor yet at the day, nor with in the yere, so as although it were som what, against the Gent. conscience to violate his promise or break the league yet partly by the longing he had to see, & partely the desire he had to enioy the frute of the excellent experiment, hauing for his own securitie (& the others Satisfaction) some testimonie at the opening thereof, to witnes his sincere dealing, he brake vp the coffer, & loe, he soone espied the Ball of ware which he himselfe had layd vpp there with his owne handes, so as he thought, if the hardest should fall, he should finde his principall, and why not as good incrase now, as of the other before? But alas, when the ware was broken and the mettall discouered, the gould was much abased and became perfect lead.

Hitherto haue I spoken somewhat of the knauerie of Alcumisry, now I will conclude with a pretty dialogue that _Petrarke_ a man of great wisdome and learning, and of no lesse experience, hath written who as in his time, sawe the fraudulent fetches of this compassing craft, so hath there bin no age, since the same hath bin broached, but that some wise men haue smelt out the euill meaning of these shifting marchants, and bewrayed them to the world.

_Francis Petrarke_, (I say) treating of the same matter, in forme of a dialogue, introduceth a deciple of his, who fancied the foresaid profession and practise, speaking on this manner.

_Decip._ I hope for a prosperous successe in Alcamistrie.

_Pet._ It is a wonder from whence that hope should spring, sith the fruite thereof did neuer yet fall to thy lotte: nor yet at any time chance to another, as the report commonly goeth, that many rich men, by this vanity and madnes, haue bin brought to beggery, whilst they haue wearied their wealth, in trying of conclusions: to make gould ingender gould.

_Decip._ I hope for gould according to the workemans promise.

_Petra._ He that promised the gould, will runne away with the gould, and thou neuer the wiser.

_Decip._ He promiseth me greate good.

_Petr._ He will first serue his owne turne, and releeue his priuate pouerty, for Alcumisters are a beggerly kinde of people, who though they confesse themselues bare, and needy: yet wil they make other rich, and wealthie, as though others pouertie did molest, and greeue them more then their owne, so far the words of _petrarke_.