Part 2

She.--I am half inclined to believe you, for you are certainly perfect--as a listener.

GOLDEN RULE NUMBER VI

_Be not continually the hero of your own story; and, on the other hand, do not leave your story without a hero._

He.--"Ships that pass in the night, and speak each other in passing, Only a signal shown and a distant voice in the darkness; So on the ocean of life, we pass and speak one another, Only a look and a voice, then darkness again and a silence."

She.--And what recalled the poem?

He.--I was thinking of the people whom we meet, and who "speak us in the passing." People whom we may never meet again, but whom we never can forget.

She.--That intangible something which makes us wish to become more closely associated with our newly-made acquaintance,--what is it? It is indefinable. We meet some one at the theater, at the club, at the social function, and there lingers with us for many days, the remembrance of the few brief moments in which we felt that we were as "twin spirits moving musically to a lute's well ordered law." Strange as it may seem, we live in a world of people,--people to the right of us, people to the left of us, everywhere about us, and only here and there a kindred spirit in whose moral and mental atmosphere we bask as in the rays of sunshine. This something that makes us feel that only the element of time is needed to make of our newly-formed acquaintance a friend that shall last through life,--what is it? A warm hand clasp, a friendly word, and in one brief moment that mysterious something that clouds the soul, is thrown aside, and in our sky a new star appears as fixed as Polaris in the heavens.

When we have an experience of this kind, although we may have interchanged but few words with our new friend, we feel intuitively that we could spend many hours together and that we should never tire of exchanging ideas.

He.--Yes; but does this not presuppose a mind stored with those "treasured thoughts" about which we were speaking in our last conversation?

She.--Possibly, in a sense; but first of all, it presupposes harmony of taste, of feeling, of ideas. This does not mean, of course, that each shall agree with the other in all essentials, but that each shall have the same broad and intelligent way of looking at a subject, and a consideration each for the other's opinions.

He.--I think, though, that as a basis for harmonious intercourse, there must be an elimination of self. No one who is thoroughly selfish can interest any one but himself. It seems to me that the ideal relation between friends presupposes an entire elimination of self.

She.--Not necessarily so. One of the most tiresome persons that I know, is a gentleman who never refers to himself, to his aspirations, or to his plans; and for this reason, he fails entirely to awaken in his listener any interest in his personality whatsoever. He is the antipode of the person who talks only of what interests him. The person who uses discretion will not avoid all reference to himself, nor will he continually make himself the hero of his own story. It behooves us all to examine ourselves, and if we have either one of these faults to rid ourselves of it at once. In directing the trend of conversation, the tactful person will choose topics of mutual interest. People are interesting not in proportion as they recount their personal experiences, but as they evince a broad, general interest in what concerns others.

He.--We might add another golden rule to our list,--Golden Rule Number VI: BE NOT CONTINUALLY THE HERO OF YOUR OWN STORY, NOR ON THE OTHER HAND, DO NOT LEAVE YOUR STORY WITHOUT A HERO. In other words, it is fatal to one's success as a conversationalist either to eliminate oneself entirely or to appear self-centered.

She.--You might say to _be_ self-centered. Selfishness is one of the most disagreeable traits that a person can have, and he who has this to a marked degree should try to eradicate it. Some one has said, "If we had to count our ills, we would not choose suspense," we might add, "If we had to choose our faults we _should_ not choose selfishness." A person may observe all the golden rules that we have enumerated, but if he is at heart a selfish person, his conversation will lack the charm that emanates from the whole-souled individual whose first thought is to interest and entertain others. Let us cultivate an unselfish spirit, for without this, our words will be but as "sounding brass and tinkling cymbals."

GOLDEN RULE NUMBER VII

_Choose subject of mutual interest._

He.--And here we are again at one of your charming "at homes," and I, as usual, am the only guest.

It is delightful of you to select for my visits those evenings where there is no possibility of our being interrupted while discussing our favorite topic.

She.--If I were "not at home" on these occasions, we should have very little opportunity to talk about the subjects in which we are mutually interested. It is decidedly paradoxical, is it not, to be at home under the circumstances?

He.--It is, to say the least, decidedly pleasant; for, otherwise, how should you be able to teach me that delightful art--the Art of Conversation? I am just selfish enough to exult in my being the only diplomat at your "salons."

She.--What is that line about conversation's being like an orchestra where all the instruments should bear a part, but where none should play together?

He.--To my thinking, conversation is most delightful when it is most unlike an orchestra. For my part, I prefer those charming _duos_ where the sweet voice of the soprano rises "far above the organ's swell."

She.--Conversation is more often like an orchestra where all the instruments play together, and where no particular one can be heard. I see that a conversation in which many take part is not to your liking.

He.--As in music, so with my friends, I prefer to follow the individual; to come into harmony with his thoughts and feelings. The trite saying that corporations have no souls can be applied with equal propriety to a body of individuals at a social function, where the bored look on their faces shows that they have failed to find a subject of general interest, and are in consequence suffering in durance vile.

She.--Conversation is enjoyable only when the participants are equally interested in the subject under discussion; and while it is not difficult for two persons to find topics of mutual interest, it is not so easy for several individuals to "hit upon" some topic in which all are equally interested; consequently, there is much greater opportunity for enjoyment in social converse where only two are "gathered together."

He.--Yes, I know; no matter how apparently dry a subject is to me, it might be of keen interest to some one else.

She.--Certainly. Only a few evenings since, I noticed, at a social function, a lady and gentleman deeply engaged for a long time, in the discussion of some topic in which each was apparently vitally interested. I learned afterwards that the gentleman was the editor-in-chief of a new dictionary recently compiled, and that the lady was the teacher of English in a college. They were discussing the relative merits of the diacritical markings of the Century, Standard, and International dictionaries compared with those of "old Webster."

He.--I should call that an extremely dry subject.

She.--Oh! they found it fascinating. They really became excited--not impolitely so--but deeply absorbed in following each other through the maze of half circles and dots, straight lines and curved.

He.--That is why people whom we meet--polite and kindly people--try "to draw us out," to find what we are interested in, so as not to hinge the conversation on politics when it should be on potatoes or on poetry.

She.--The whole secret of pleasant social converse lies in the participants' finding subjects of mutual interest. Why, I have heard two persons discuss by the hour the feasibility of raising ducks as a means of livelihood; others, that of manufacturing a washing-machine that would wash and boil clothing at the same time. So you see, it doesn't matter whether the topic is politics or poetry; the latest work in science or in fiction; whether it is music or painting; the main point is that the subject shall be of mutual interest to those discussing it.

He.--Then we may add another rule to our list--Golden Rule Number VII.: CHOOSE SUBJECTS OF MUTUAL INTEREST. Don't discuss politics when you should be talking about poetry; fact, instead of fiction; science, instead of sunsets.

She.--Yes; and be sure that both are equally interested or else one or the other will have that bored look to which you referred a short time since.

He.--People sometimes appear interested when they are not.

She.--Yes; but the keen observer will detect whether the smile extends farther than the parted lips. If people would be genuine, and less artificial, after a pleasant evening spent in social converse, there would linger with one a memory as pleasing and as refreshing as is the sweet fragrance wafted from country clover fields to the traveler on the dusty road. In our social intercourse with one another let us omit all unpleasant topics, and choose only those in which both are equally interested.

GOLDEN RULE NUMBER VIII

_Be a good listener._

He.--And here we are again in your bower--your bower of roses and carnations. It is always summer here, for there are always flowers. You wear them, too, as another would wear her jewels.

"She went by dale, and she went by down, With a single rose in her hair."

She.--This is as I like my flowers--around me and about me. Conservatories have no charm for me, for one cannot live in a conservatory. I like my roses, where, as I sit and write, I can inhale their fragrance, and see their wondrous beauty. What is more beautiful than a rose?

He.--Wouldn't "The Woman with the Rose" make a nice title for a poem?

She.--You are really lacking in originality. You never would have thought of it in the world if "The Man with the Hoe" had not suggested it.

He.--Oh! I agree with you that I am not original, and that the title was suggested; but not, as you think, by "The Man with the Hoe."

She.--Aren't we wasting valuable time? You know we were going to discuss Golden Rule Number VIII., and we haven't even decided what it shall be.

He.--Be a good listener! Wasn't it Addison who said that the most skillful flattery was to let a person talk on, and be a good listener? But somehow, this has such a ring of insincerity. Now, I am sure that I should not wish to be beguiled into thinking that I was entertaining my friend when, in reality, I was boring him.

She.--Yes; but a person who observes all our golden rules will not "talk on." You know, there are few persons who can "talk on," and not bore their listeners. Of course, if people were tactful and would observe Golden Rule Number VII.--CHOOSE TOPICS IN WHICH ALL ARE INTERESTED--it would not be necessary for the listener to "feign an interest if he has it not."

He.--But what are we going to do when we are in the society of those who do not observe this rule?

She.--Sometimes, we can enjoy the conversation of others for reasons opposite to what might be expected. For example, a few days since, I was one of several guests at a luncheon, and I was very much amused in noting how subjects, which in themselves seemed very prosaic, could elicit so much enthusiasm in their discussion. For example, the guests discussed the making of salads, and much enthusiasm was expended over a mixture of fruit, nuts, and olive oil. The subject was certainly highly relevant, as the very kind of salad in question was in evidence, calling forth enthusiastic encomiums from all.

He.--I suppose you are often amused at the amount of interest shown in trivial subjects.

She.--No; I, too, at times, like to relax, and to talk about subjects that would seem frivolous to many. While much of my time and close attention must necessarily be given to study, for this reason, when there is any diverting influence, I prefer, occasionally, to forget everything of a serious nature; and, like the bee that goes from flower to flower to sip of each its sweetness, so I enjoy passing from one subject to another, discussing only lightly, each in turn. So you see whether it is salads or pates; Mrs. Campbell or Paderewski; shirred gowns or pleated, these subjects at times may prove interesting and diverting.

He.--But when a person is deeply interested in some special study that _counts_, I can not see how he can find much satisfaction in the discussion of topics so very foreign to his specialty.

She.--As I have just implied, the specialist finds it necessary to relax. I have in mind a noted physician who spends many of his waking hours, and hours when he should be sleeping, either in his laboratory or with his patients; but immediately when he enters his drawing-room to greet a friend, he forgets his work utterly, for the time being, and before many minutes have passed, his listener is convulsed with laughter over some new story--the latest acquisition to the Doctor's stock.

He.--Do you know, I often wonder why people do not cultivate the art of story-telling. It seems to me that if one would entertain one's friends now and then with a good story, it would enliven what would otherwise be a very dull occasion.

She.--Story-tellers--good story-tellers--are probably born, not made; and yet, the person who is not especially gifted in this art, may succeed in entertaining his listeners, provided that he has wit enough to remember the "point," and to couch his language so that the dénouement is not surmised, for surprise is an important element in the telling of a story.

He.--Occasionally, I hear a good story, and one that I wish to remember, but I can never trust myself to repeat it for fear that I shall commit the flagrant sin of missing the "point"; and that omission would, of course, be unpardonable.

She.--I think you might become a very successful reconteur, if you would give some attention to the art in question. Of course, the important thing to remember is, what are the essentials, to omit all unnecessary details, to keep the listener in suspense and, above all, _not to omit the point_. We can not all be Charles Lambs nor Sydney Smiths, but we can each have our little store of "funnycisms" from which to draw when the occasion is opportune, or the story relevant.

He.--Well, I suppose we must decide that one must be a good listener at all hazards, and that one must find something of interest in the conversation of others even though the subject may be "salads" when it should be "suffrage," for example. Shall we make "BE A GOOD LISTENER AT ALL HAZARDS" Golden Rule Number VIII.?

She.--Yes, I suppose so; but if we could all remember and practice our other golden rules, we should not need to add this one to the list.

He.--Let me see whether I can enumerate them.

Golden Rule Number 1.--_Avoid unnecessary details._

2.--_Do not ask question number two until number one has been answered, nor be too curious nor too disinterested; that is, do not ask too many questions nor too few._

3.--_Do not interrupt another while he is speaking._

4.--_Do not contradict another, especially when the subject under discussion is of trivial importance._

5.--_Do not do all the talking; give your tired listener a chance._

6.--_Be not continually the hero of your own story; and on the other hand, do not leave your story without a hero._

7.--_Choose subjects of mutual interest._

And our latest acquisition, Golden Rule Number VIII., _Be a good listener._

She.--You have done remarkably well to remember all these rules.

He.--Haven't I earned a reward?

She.--What shall it be?

He.--The rose in your hair.

GOLDEN RULE NUMBER IX

_Make your speech in harmony with your surroundings._

He.--Let us walk along the shore--away from our friends at the hotel. The night is far too beautiful to spend in discussing the merits of biscuit and honey compared with those of strawberries and cake.

She.--And with such a sky and such a scene before them! And the day--how perfect it has been!

* * * * "The blue sky Leaned silently above, and all its high And azure-circled roof beneath the wave, Was imaged back and seemed the deep to pave With its transparent beauty."

He.--Oh! they're not thinking of the sea nor of the sky. Although when I saw one of the ladies gazing intently at the moon, I thought that she, like you and me, had succumbed to the influence of its magic beams; but I very soon became disillusioned, for I heard her suddenly exclaim, "Oh, I wish I had some Welsh rarebit! I am so very fond of Welsh rarebit."

She.--Her thoughts were evidently relevant, as the moon probably suggested to her, green cheese, and from that, it was only a step to the toasted article. I dislike to hear a person express a fondness for food. I know that it is correct to use "fond" in this way; but to me "fondness" should be used only with reference to one's friends; but to be fond of "Welsh rarebit"! I should prefer to use another expression.

He.--Of course you aren't fond of anything but flowers, and books, and music,--Oh! and the moon.

She.--And people; they come first.

He.--Everybody?

She.--Not everybody, only a few.

He.--Including----

She.--I think that we should go back to our friends.

He.--And discuss "Welsh rarebit"? Let us take this boat and glide over the "silvery lake." We can find more interesting subjects to talk about than edibles; and, if we cannot, we can at least be silent and let the glorious night speak for us.

She.--Because of just such nights, I come here every year.

He.--But the moon, like the sun, shines everywhere for all.

She.--Yes, but not everywhere alike. There must be trees with branches outspread to catch its silvery beams, and giant hills in the distance to form a heavy background. The full moon shining on our great Lake Michigan is a glorious sight, but that which is needed to make the scene perfect is not there. But here--nothing is wanting.

O beauteous Lake! How radiantly dost thou wear thy jewels Upon thy bosom fair,--made fairer still By Luna's silvery beams.

He.--The poet is nature's interpreter. He expresses what we feel; what we should wish to say, were we able to express our thoughts in poetic language. But sometimes he does not interpret truly. Wasn't it Browning who said:

"Never the time and the place And the loved one altogether"?

She.--I don't see the relevancy of the quotation. We must go back to the hotel. Our friends will miss us.

He.--But you haven't heard my lesson yet, as we used to say in school. I have to recite all the golden rules, and add our new one. What shall it be?

She.--Rule Number IX.: ONE'S SPEECH SHOULD BE IN HARMONY WITH ONE'S SURROUNDINGS.

He.--In other words, a person should not talk about cheese when the moon would be a more fitting topic.

She.--Or, when it might be more fitting to remain silent.

He.--Some one has said, "Silence is the virtue of the feeble," but it is probably as often the virtue of the wise.

She.--It was Carlyle who said: "Consider the significance of SILENCE: it is boundless, never by meditating to be exhausted, unspeakably profitable to thee: Cease that chaotic hubbub, wherein thy own soul runs to waste, to confused suicidal dislocation and stupor; out of Silence comes thy strength. 'Speech is silvern, Silence is golden; Speech is human, Silence is divine.'"

GOLDEN RULE NUMBER X

_Do not exaggerate._

He.--You may remember that one of the extracts that I read to you from my note-book referred to exaggeration in conversation. Do you know, I have been paying attention to this fault, and I find that it is decidedly general even with people who are supposed to be honest and sincere. It is really one phase of falsifying; in my opinion, it is a very disagreeable habit, and one that a person should try to rid himself of.

She.--Parents can not be too careful in the bringing up of their children to see that they do not form the habit of exaggerating what they undertake to tell. Why! Some persons can not make the simplest statement without exaggerating the facts. For instance, if one undertakes to give the price of a garment or of some furniture, the amount paid is always increased in the telling of the story; and so with the narration of trivial events--the speaker will enlarge his statements until he presents a distorted picture to the mental vision of the listener.

The exaggeration of facts should certainly be avoided; and a person can overcome this tendency in himself, if, when he finds that he is making a misstatement, he will correct himself, and give a true version. For example, if he finds that he is fixing the cost of a possession at five dollars, when it should be four dollars and fifty cents, he can correct the error without even betraying his intention to falsify. By doing this, he gradually trains himself to adhere to facts; for, while the price of the article may be a matter of small consequence, it is a matter of far more importance that the person who has the habit shall correct his tendency to misstate facts. So again, when one is narrating an incident in one's experience, the same strict adherence to the facts should be observed. In this way a person establishes a reputation for veracity. We all have friends in whose statements we place no reliance, simply because we know that they invariably exaggerate every fact that comes within their observation or experience. I know of no fault in conversation that is more grievous than this nor that can give one such a general air of insincerity in all things.

He.--I know, I have friends whom I can not believe--no matter how serious they are in impressing upon me, the truth of the information that they are so willing to impart.

She.--Of course, when persons of this kind attack the reputation of others then, indeed, does their fault become a serious one; but there are many, otherwise well-meaning, persons who would not speak ill of another, who place themselves continually at a disadvantage by their exaggerated speech. There is the school-girl, for example, who finds every person and thing _perfectly lovely_--or _perfectly horrid_, as the case may be; who had the _most beautiful_ time in her life last night; who finds her teacher _divine_; tennis, a _dream of delight_--everything, no matter what, is _just dandy_--or _dear_. Later in life, she may exaggerate as to her husband's income; her children's virtues or appearance; the price of her garments--and in this way she will acquire the unenviable reputation for insincerity, unreliability. No one will give any credence to what she says, simply because she is known always to exaggerate the facts.

He.--I feel as you do, and when I find myself enlarging upon the facts, I try immediately to correct my fault and adhere to an actual recital.

She.--Of course, we know that in telling a story for the sake of its humor, a person will sometimes lapse into an enlargement of the details, but, as Rudyard Kipling would say, "That is another story."

He.--Had we not better make this Golden Rule Number X.?

I wonder whether I can recite all the Golden Rules:

Golden Rule Number 1.--_Avoid unnecessary details._

2.--_Do not ask question number two until number one has been answered, nor be too curious nor too disinterested; that is, do not ask too many questions nor too few._

3.--_Do not interrupt another while he is speaking._

4.--_Do not contradict another, especially when the subject under discussion is of trivial importance._