Part 9

The miller’s wife was both avaricious and wicked. She was not satisfied with preventing my brother from receiving what was due to him, but she excited her husband to revenge himself for the love which the tailor professed for her; the means which they took were the following. The miller invited Bacbouc one evening to supper; and after having treated him with but indifferent fare, he thus addressed him: “It is too late, brother, for you to return home; you had much better, therefore, sleep here.” After having thus spoken, he showed him a place where there was a bed; and having left him there, he returned, and went with his wife to the room where they were accustomed to sleep. In the middle of the night the miller came back to my brother, he called out to him, “are you asleep, neighbour? My mule is taken suddenly ill, and I have a great deal of corn to grind; you will therefore do me a very great favor if you would turn the mill in his place.” To prove to him that he was a man willing to oblige him, he answered that he was ready to render him this service if he would only show him how he was to set about it. The miller then fastened him by the middle of his body, like a mule, to make him turn the mill; and immediately giving him a good cut upon the loins with the whip, “Get on neighbour,” he cried. “Why do you strike me?” answered my brother.--“It is only to encourage you;” replied the miller, “for without that my mule will not stir a step.” Bacbouc was astonished at this treatment; nevertheless he durst not complain of it. When he had gone five or six rounds, he wished to rest himself, but the miller immediately gave him a dozen sharp cuts with the whip; calling out, “Courage neighbour, don’t stop, I entreat you: you must go on without taking breath, otherwise you will spoil my flour.”

The miller thus obliged my brother to turn the mill during the rest of the night. And as soon as daylight appeared, he went away without unfastening him, and returned to his wife’s chamber. Bacbouc remained some time in this situation. At last the young slave came, who untied him; “Alas! how my good mistress and myself have pitied you,” cried the cunning slave, “we are not at all to blame for what you have suffered; we have had no share in the wicked trick which her husband has played you.” The unfortunate Bacbouc answered not a word, so much was he fatigued and bruised with the beating. He got, however, back to his own house, and firmly resolved to think no more of the miller’s wife. The recital of this history, continued the barber, made the caliph laugh, “Go,” said he to me, “return home; they shall give you something, by my order, to console you for having lost the festivities which you expected.”--“Commander of the Faithful,” replied I, “I entreat your majesty not to think of giving me any thing till I have related the histories of my other brothers.” The caliph having shown, by his silence, that he was disposed to listen to me, I continued as follows:

THE HISTORY OF THE BARBER’S SECOND BROTHER.

My second brother, who was called Bakbarah, the toothless, walking one day through the city, met an old woman in a retired street. She thus accosted him. “I have,” said she, “a word to say to you, if you will stay a moment.” He immediately stopped, and asked her what she wished. “If you have time to go with me,” she replied, “I will carry you to a most magnificent palace, where you shall see a lady more beautiful than the day. She will receive you with a great deal of pleasure; and will treat you with a collation and excellent wine. I have no occasion, I believe, to say any more.”--“But is what you tell me,” replied my brother, “true?”--“I am not given to lying,” replied the old woman. “I propose nothing to you but what is the fact. You must, however, pay attention to what I require of you. You must be prudent, speak little, and you must comply with every thing.” Bakbarah having agreed to the conditions, she walked on before, and he followed her. They arrived at the gate of a large palace, where there were a great number of officers and servants. Some of them wished to stop my brother, but the old woman no sooner spoke to them, than they let him pass. She then turned to my brother and said, “Remember, that the young lady to whose house I have brought you, is fond of mildness and modesty; nor does she like being contradicted. If you satisfy her in this, there is no doubt but you will obtain from her whatever you wish.” Bakbarah thanked her for this advice, and promised to profit by it.

She then carried him into a very beautiful apartment, which formed part of a square building. It corresponded with the magnificence of the palace: there was a gallery all round it; and in the midst of it was a very fine garden. The old woman made him sit down on a sofa that was handsomely furnished; and desired him to wait there a moment, till she went to inform the young lady of his arrival.

As my brother had never before been in so superb a place, he immediately began to observe all the beautiful things that were in sight; and judging of his good fortune by the magnificence he beheld, he could hardly contain his joy. He almost immediately heard a great noise, which came from a long troop of slaves, who were enjoying themselves, and came towards him, bursting out at the same time into violent fits of laughter. In the midst of them he perceived a young lady of most extraordinary beauty, whom he discovered to be their mistress, by the attention they paid her. Bakbarah, who expected merely a private conversation with the lady, was very much surprised at the arrival of so large a company. In the mean time, the slaves putting on a serious air, approached him; and when the young lady was near the sofa, my brother, who had risen up, made a most profound reverence. She took the seat of honor, and then, having requested him to resume his, she said to him in a smiling manner:--“I am delighted to see you, and wish you every thing you can yourself desire.”--“Madam,” replied Bakbarah, “I cannot wish a greater honor than that of appearing before you.”--“You seem to me,” she replied, “of so good-humoured a disposition, that we shall pass our time very agreeably together.

She immediately ordered a collation, to be served up; and they covered the table with baskets of various fruits and sweetmeats. She then sat down at the table along with my brother and the slaves. As it happened that he was placed directly opposite to her, as soon as he opened his mouth to eat, she observed he had no teeth; she remarked this to her slaves, and they all laughed immoderately at it. Bakbarah, who from time to time raised his head to look at the lady, and saw that she was laughing, imagined it was from the pleasure she felt at being in his company; and flattered himself, therefore, that she would soon order the slaves to retire, and that he should enjoy her conversation in private. The lady easily guessed his thoughts, and took a pleasure in continuing a delusion which seemed so agreeable to him: she said a thousand soft tender things to him; she presented the best of every thing to him with her own hand.

When the collation was finished, she arose from table: ten slaves instantly took some musical instruments, and began to play and sing; the others to dance. In order to make himself the more agreeable, my brother also began dancing, and the young lady herself partook of the amusement. After they had danced for sometime, they all sat down to take breath. The lady ordered them to bring her a glass of wine, then cast a smile at my brother, to intimate that she was going to drink his health. He instantly rose up and stood while she drank. As soon as she had finished, instead of returning the glass, she had it filled again, and presented it to my brother, that he might pledge her.

Bakbarah took the glass, and in receiving it from the young lady, he kissed her hand; then drank to her, standing the whole time, to show his gratitude for the favor she had done him. After this, the young lady made him sit down by her side, and began to give him signs of affection. She put her arm round his neck, and frequently gave him gentle pats with her hand. Delighted with these favors, he thought himself the happiest man in the world; he also was tempted to begin to play in the same manner with this charming person, but he durst not take this liberty before the slaves, who had their eyes upon him, and who continued to laugh at this trifling. The young lady still kept giving him such gentle taps; at last she began to apply them so forcibly, that he grew angry at it. He reddened, and got up to sit further from so rude a playfellow. At this moment, the old woman who had brought my brother there, looked at him in such a way as to make him understand that he was wrong, and had forgotten the advice she had before given him. He acknowledged his fault; and to repair it, he again approach the young lady, pretending that he had not gone to a distance through anger. She then took hold of him by the arm, and drew him towards her; making him again sit down close by her, and continuing to bestow a thousand pretended caresses on him. Her slaves, whose only aim was to divert her, began to take a part in the sport. One of them gave poor Bakbarah a fillip on the nose with all her strength; another pulled his ears almost off, while the rest kept giving him slaps; which passed the limits of raillery and fun.

My brother bore all this with the most exemplary patience: he even affected an air of gaiety; and looked at the old woman with a forced smile. “You were right,” said he, “when you said that I should find a very fine, agreeable, and charming young lady. How much am I obliged to you for it!”--“Oh, this is nothing yet,” replied the old woman, “let her alone, and you will see a very different thing by and by.”--The young lady then spoke: “You are a brave man,” said she to my brother, “and I am delighted at finding in you so much kindness and complaisance towards all my little fooleries, and that you possess a disposition so conformable to mine.”--“Madam,” replied Bakbarah, ravished with this speech, “I am no longer myself, but am entirely at your disposal; you have full power to do with me as you please.”--“You afford me the greatest happiness,” added the lady, “by showing so much submission to my inclination. I am perfectly satisfied with you; and I wish that you should be equally so with me. Bring,” cried she to the attendants, “perfumes and rose-water.” At these words two slaves went out and instantly returned, one with a silver vase, in which there was exquisite aloe-wood, with which she perfumed him, and the other with rose-water, which she sprinkled over his face and hands. My brother could not contain himself for joy, at seeing himself so handsomely and honorably treated.

When this ceremony was finished, the young lady commanded the slaves, who had before sung and played, to recommence their concerts. They obeyed, and while this was going on, the lady called another slave, and ordered her to take my brother with her, saying, “you know what to do, and when you have finished, return with him to me.” Bakbarah, who heard this order given, immediately got up, and going towards the old woman, who had also risen to accompany the slave, he requested her to tell him what they wished him to do. “Our mistress,” replied she, in a whisper, “is extremely curious; and she wishes to see how you would look disguised as a female; this slave, therefore, has orders to take you with her, to paint your eyebrows, shave your mustachios, and dress you like a woman.”--“You may paint my eyebrows,” said my brother, “as much as you please; to that I readily agree, because I can wash them again; but as to shaving me, that, mind you, I will by no means suffer. How do you think I dare appear without my mustachios?”--“Take care,” answered the woman, “how you oppose any thing that is required of you. You will quite spoil your fortune, which is going on as prosperously as possible. She loves you, and wishes to make you happy. Will you, for the sake of a paltry mustachio, forego the most delicious favors any man can possibly enjoy?”

Bakbarah at length yielded to the old woman’s arguments; and, without saying another word, he suffered the slave to conduct him to an apartment, where they painted his eyebrows red. They shaved his mustachios, and were absolutely going to shave his beard. But the easiness of my brother’s temper did not carry him quite so far as to suffer that. “Not a single stroke,” he exclaimed, “shall you take at my beard.” The slave represented to him, that it was of no use to have cut off his mustachios, if he would not also agree to lose his beard: that a hairy countenance did not at all coincide with the dress of a woman; and that she was astonished, that a man who was on the very point of possessing the most beautiful woman in Bagdad, should care for his beard. The old woman also joined with the slave, and added fresh reasons; she threatened my brother with being quite in disgrace with her mistress. In short, she said so much, that he at last permitted them to do what they wished.

As soon as they had dressed him like a woman, they brought him back to the young lady, who burst into so violent a fit of laughter at the sight of him, that she fell down on the sofa in which she was sitting. The slaves all began to clap their hands, so that my brother was put quite out of countenance. The young lady then got up, and continuing to laugh all the time, said, “After the complaisance you have shown to me, I should be guilty of a crime not to bestow my whole heart upon you; but it is necessary that you should do one thing more for love of me; it is only to dance before me as you are.” He obeyed; and the young lady and the slaves danced with him, laughing all the while, as if they were crazy. After they had danced for some time, they all threw themselves upon the poor wretch, and gave him so many blows, both with their hands and feet, that he fell down almost fainting. The old woman came to his assistance, and without giving him time to be angry at such ill-treatment, she whispered in his ear, “Console yourself, for you are now arrived at the conclusion of your sufferings, and are about to receive the reward for them. You have only one thing more to do,” added she, “and that is a mere trifle. You must know that my mistress makes it her custom, whenever she has drank a little, as she has done to-day, not to suffer any one she loves to come near her, unless they are stripped to their shirt. When they are in this situation, she takes advantage of a short distance, and begins running before them through the gallery, and from room to room, till they have caught her. This is one of her fancies. Now, at whatever distance from you she may start, you, who are so light and active, can easily overtake her. Undress yourself, therefore, quickly, and remain in your shirt, and do not make any difficulty about it.”

My brother had already carried his complying humour too far to stop at this. The young lady at the same time took off her robe in order to run with greater ease, and remained only in her drawers. When they were both ready to begin the race, the lady took the advantage of about twenty paces, and then started with wonderful celerity. My brother followed her with all his strength; but not without exciting the risibility of the slaves, who kept clapping their hands all the time. The young lady, instead of losing any of the advantage she had first taken, kept continually gaining ground of my brother. She ran round the gallery two or three times, then turned off down a long dark passage, where she saved herself by a turn of which my brother was ignorant. Bakbarah, who kept constantly following her, lost sight of her in this passage; and he was also obliged to run much slower, because it was so dark. He at last perceived a light, towards which he made all possible haste; he went out through a door, which was instantly shut upon him.

You may easily imagine what was his astonishment, at finding himself in the middle of a street inhabited by curriers. Nor were they less surprised at seeing him in his shirt, his eyebrows painted red, and without either beard or mustachios. They began to clap their hands, to hoot at him; and some even ran after him, and kept lashing him with strips of their leather. They then stopped him, and set him on an ass, which they accidentally met with, and led him through the city, exposed to the laughter and shouts of the mob.

To complete his misfortune, they led him through the street where the judge of the police lived, and this magistrate immediately sent to inquire into the cause of the uproar. The curriers informed him that they saw my brother, exactly in the state he then was, come out of the gate leading to the apartments of the women belonging to the grand vizier, which opened into their street. The judge then ordered the unfortunate Bakbarah, upon the spot, to receive a hundred strokes upon the soles of his feet, to be conducted without the city, and forbid him ever to enter it again.

This, Commander of the Faithful, said I to the caliph Mostanser Billah, is the history of my second brother, which I wished to relate to your majesty. He knew not, poor fellow, that the ladies of our great and powerful lords amuse themselves by making such fun as this with any young man, who is silly enough to trust himself in their hands.

The barber then went on without any interruption to the history of his third brother.

THE HISTORY OF THE BARBER’S THIRD BROTHER.

Commander of the Faithful (said he to the caliph) my third brother, who was called Bakbac, was quite blind, and his destiny was so wretched, he was reduced to beg, and passed his life in going from door to door, asking charity. He had been accustomed to walk through the streets alone for so long a time, that he had no occasion for any one to lead him. He always used to knock at the different doors, and never to answer till they came and opened them.

He happened one day to knock at the door of a house, the master of which was quite alone. “Who is there?” he called out. My brother made no answer, but knocked a second time. Again did the master of the house inquire who was at the door, but no one answered. He then came down, opened the door, and asked my brother what he wanted. “That you will bestow something upon me for the love of God,” answered Bakbac.--“You seem to me to be blind,” said the master of the house. “Alas, it is true,” replied my brother, “Hold out your hand,” cried the other. My brother, supposing it was to receive something, immediately put his hand out; but the master of the house only took hold of it to assist him in going up-stairs to his apartment. Bakbac imagined it was for the purpose of giving him some food; as that had often happened to him at other houses. When they were both in the chamber, the master of the house let my brother’s hand go, and sat down in his place; he then again asked him what it was he wanted. “I have already told you,” replied Bakbac, “that I request a trifle of you, for the love of God.”--“My good blind man,” answered the master, “all I can do for you is to wish that God would restore your sight to you.”--“You might have told me that at the door,” said my brother, and spared me the difficulty of coming up-stairs.”--“And why, good innocent man as you are,” replied the other, “did you not answer me after you had knocked the first time, and when I asked you what you wanted? What is the reason you give people the trouble of coming down to open the door, when they speak to you?”--“What then do you mean to do for me?” said Bakbac.--“I tell you again,” replied the master, “that I have nothing to give you?”--“Help me at least to go down again, as you brought me up,” said my brother.”--“The staircase is before you,” answered he, “and if you wish it, you may go down alone.” My brother then began to descend, but missing his step about half way down, he fell to the bottom, and bruised his head and strained his loins very much. He got up, but not without pain, and went away muttering at and abusing the master of the house, who did nothing but laugh at his fall.

As he was going from the house, two of his companions, who were also blind, happened to pass by, and knew his voice. They stopped to ask him what success he had met with: on which he told them what had just befallen him; and added, that he had received nothing during the whole day. “I conjure you,” continued he, “to accompany me home, that I may, in your presence, take some of the money which we have in store among us, to buy something for my supper.” The two blind men agreed to it, and he conducted them home.

It is necessary in this place to observe, that the man of the house in which my brother had been so ill-treated, was a thief, and by nature both cunning and malicious. He had overheard, by means of his window, what Bakbac had said to his comrades; he therefore came down stairs and followed them; and went with them, unobserved, into an old woman’s house, where my brother lodged. As soon as they were seated, Bakbac said to the other two, “We must shut the door, brothers, and take care that there is no stranger among us.” At these words the robber was very much embarrassed; but perceiving a rope that hung from a beam in the middle of the room, he took hold of it, and suspended himself in the air while the blind men shut the door and felt all round the room with their sticks. When this ceremony was concluded, and they were again seated, he let go the rope and sat down by the side of my brother, without making any noise. The latter thinking there was no one besides his blind companions thus addressed them: “As you have made me, comrades, the banker for all the money we three have collected for a long time past, I wish to prove to you that I am not unworthy of the trust you have reposed in me. The last time we reckoned, you know we had ten thousand drachms, and we put them into ten bags: I will now show you that I have not touched one of them.” Having said this, he put his hands among some old rags and clothes, and drew out the ten bags, one after the other; and giving them to his companions, “Here,” said he, “are all the bags, and you may judge by the weight, that they are quite full; or you may count them if you like it better.” They answered that they were perfectly satisfied with his honesty. He then opened one of the bags, and took out ten drachms, and the other two blind men did the same.

After this my brother replaced the bags in the same spot. One of the blind men then said, there was no occasion for them to spend any thing for supper that night, as he had received, from the charity of some good people, sufficient provisions for all three; he instantly took out of his wallet some bread, cheese, and fruit, and put all of them upon a table. They then began to eat; and the robber, who sat on the right hand of my brother, chose the best, and eat of every thing with them: but in spite of all the precaution he used to avoid making the least noise, Bakbac heard him chew, and instantly exclaimed, “We are lost; there is a stranger among us.” While he was saying this he stretched out his hand, and seized the robber by the arm. He then threw himself upon him; calling out Thief! and giving him many blows with his fist. The other blind men also instantly called out, and beat the robber, who on his part defended himself as well as he could. As he was both strong and active, and had the advantage of seeing where he placed his blows, he laid about him most furiously, first on one and then the other, whenever he was able, and called out “Thieves, robbers,” more clamorously than his enemies.