Part 8

“As soon as the cadi was returned home he himself inflicted the bastinado on a slave who had deserved it. The slave uttered loud cries, which were distinguishable even in the street. The barber thought I was the person whom they were treating ill, and that these were my cries. Fully persuaded of this, he began to call out as loud as he could, to tear his clothes, throw dust upon his head, and call for help to all the neighbours, who soon ran out to him. They inquired what was the matter, and what assistance they could give him. ‘Alas!’ cried he, ‘they are assassinating my master, my dear lord,’ and without saying another word, he ran to my house, crying out in the same way, and returned, followed by all my servants armed with sticks. They knocked furiously at the door of the cadi, who sent a slave to know what the noise was about; but the slave, quite frightened, returned to his master, ‘My lord,’ said he, ‘above ten thousand men will come into your house by force, and are already beginning to break open the door.’

“The cadi ran himself to the door, and inquired what they wanted. His venerable appearance did not inspire my people with any respect, and they insolently addressed him, ‘Cursed cadi! you dog! for what reason are you going to murder our master? What has he done to you?’--‘My good people,’ replied the cadi, ‘why should I murder your master, whom I do not know, and who has never offended me? My door is open, you may come in and search my house.’--‘You have given him the bastinado,’ said the barber, ‘I heard his cries not a minute ago.’--‘But,’ replied the cadi, ‘as I said before, in what can your master have offended me, that I should ill-treat him thus? Is he in my house? and if he is, how could he get in, or who could have introduced him?’--‘You will not make me believe you, with your great beard, you wicked cadi,’ resumed the barber, ‘I know what I say. Your daughter loves our master, and appointed a meeting in your house during the mid-day prayers; you no doubt received information of it, and returned quickly; you surprised him here, and ordered your slaves to give him the bastinado; but this wicked action shall not remain unpunished; the caliph shall be informed of it, and will execute a severe and speedy sentence on you. Give him his liberty, and let him come out directly, otherwise we will go in and take him from you to your shame.’--‘There is no occasion to say so much about it,’ said the cadi, ‘nor to make such a bustle; if what you say is true, you have only to go in and search for him; I give you full permission.’ The cadi had scarcely spoken these words, when the barber and my people burst into the house, like a set of furious madmen, and began to seek for me in every corner.

“As I heard every thing the barber said to the cadi, I endeavoured to find out some place to conceal myself in. I was unable to discover any other than a large empty chest, into which I immediately got, and shut the lid down upon me. After the barber had searched every other place, he did not fail coming into the apartment where I was. He went directly to the chest, and opened it; and as soon as he perceived that I was in it, he took it up and carried it away upon his head. He descended from the top of the staircase, which was very high, into a court, through which he quickly passed, and at last reached the street-door.

“As he was carrying me along the street, the lid of the chest unfortunately opened: I had not resolution enough to bear the shame and disgrace of being thus exposed to the populace who followed us; I jumped down, therefore, into the street in such a hurry, that I hurt myself violently, and have been lame ever since. I did not at first perceive the full extent of my misfortune; I therefore made haste to get up and run away from the people who were laughing at me. At the same time, I scattered a handful or two of gold and silver, with which I had filled my purse, and while they were stopping to pick it up, I made my escape by passing through several private streets. But the cursed barber, taking advantage of the trick which I had made use of to get rid of the crowd, followed me so closely, that he never once lost sight of me; and all the time he continued calling aloud, ‘Stop, sir, why do you run so fast? You know not how much I have felt for you, on account of the ill usage you have received from the cadi; and well I might, as you have been so generous to me and my friends, and we are under such obligations to you. Did I not truly inform you, that you would endanger your life through your obstinacy in not suffering me to accompany you? All this has happened to you through your own fault; and I know not what would have become of you, if I had not obstinately determined to follow you, and observe which way you went. Where then, my lord, are you running? Pray wait for me.’

“It was in this manner that the unlucky barber kept calling out to me all through the street. He was not satisfied with having scandalized me so completely in the quarter of the town where the cadi resided, but seemed to wish that the whole city should become acquainted with my disgrace. This put me into such a rage, that I could have stopped and strangled him, but that would only have increased my distraction. I therefore went another way to work. As I perceived, that by his calling out, the eyes of every one were attracted towards me, some looking out of the windows, and others stopping in the street to stare at me; I went into a khan, [8] the master of which was known to me. I found him indeed at the door, where the noise and uproar had brought him. ‘In the name of God,’ I cried, ‘do me the favor to prevent that mad fellow from following me in here.’ He not only promised me to do so, but he kept his word; although it was not without great difficulty: for the obstinate barber attempted to force an entrance in spite of him. Nor did he retire before he uttered a thousand abusive words: and he continued to tell every one he met, till he reached his own house, the very great service he pretended to have done me.

“It was thus that I got rid of this tiresome man. The master of the khan then entreated me to give him an account of my adventure. I did so; after which I asked him, in my turn, to let me have an apartment in his house till I was quite cured. ‘You will be much better accommodated, sir,’ he said, ‘in your own house.’--‘I do not wish to return there,’ I answered, ‘for that detestable barber will not fail to find me out, I shall then be pestered with him every day; and it would absolutely kill me with vexation, to have him constantly before my eyes. Besides, after what has happened to me this day, I am determined not to remain any longer in this city. I will wander wherever my ill-stars may direct me.’ In short, as soon as I was cured, I took as much money as I thought would be sufficient for my journey, and gave the remainder of my fortune to my relations.

“I then set out from Bagdad, gentlemen, and arrived here. I had every reason, at least to hope that I should not have met with this mischievous barber, in a country so distant from my own; and I now discover him in your company. Be not therefore surprised at my anxiety and eagerness to retire. You may judge of the painful sensations the sight of this man causes me, by whose means I became lame, and was reduced to the dreadful necessity of giving up my relations, my friends, and my country.”

Having made this speech, the lame young man got up and went out. The master of the house conducted him to the door, assuring him, that it gave him great pain to have been the cause, though innocently, of so great a mortification.

When the young man was gone, (continued the tailor,) we still remained very much astonished at his history. We cast our eyes towards the barber, and told him, that he had done wrong; if what we had just heard was true. “Gentlemen,” answered he, raising his head, which he had till now kept towards the ground, “the silence, which I have imposed upon myself, while this young man was telling you his story, ought to prove to you, that he has advanced nothing that was not the fact; notwithstanding, however, all that he has told you, I still maintain that I ought to have done what I did; and I leave you yourselves to judge of it. Was he not thrown into a situation of great danger, and without my assistance would he so fortunately have escaped from it? He may, indeed, think himself very happy to have got free from it with only a lame leg. Was I not exposed to a much greater danger, in order to get him from a house where I thought he was so ill treated? Has he then reason to complain of me, and to attack me with so many injurious reproaches? You see what we get by serving ungrateful people. He accuses me of being a chatterer: it is mere calumny. Of seven brothers, of whom our family consists, I am the very one who speaks least, and yet who possesses the most wit. In order to convince you of it, Gentlemen, I have only to relate their history and my own to you. I entreat you to favour me with your attention.

THE HISTORY OF THE BARBER.

During the reign of the Caliph Mostanser Billah, [9] a prince so famous for his great liberality towards the poor, there were ten robbers, who very much infested the roads in the neighbourhood of Bagdad; and were for a long time guilty of great depredations and horrible cruelties. The caliph having been informed of this great outrage, ordered the judge of the police some days before the feast of Bairam to come to him: and commanded him, under pain of death, to bring them all ten before him. The judge of the police was very active; and sent out so many of his men into the country, that the ten robbers were taken on the very day of the feast. I happened to be walking at that time on the banks of the Tigris, where I observed ten very well dressed men, who embarked on board a boat. I should have known that they had been robbers, if I had paid any attention to the guard who accompanied them: but I observed only the robbers themselves; and thinking that they were men, who were going to enjoy themselves and pass this day in festivity, I got into the boat at the same time with them, without saying a word; in hopes that they would suffer me to accompany them. We rowed down the Tigris, and they made us land at the caliph’s palace. By this time, I had an opportunity of recollecting myself; and perceiving that I had formed a wrong opinion of my companions. When we got out of the boat, we were surrounded by a fresh party of the guards belonging to the judge of the police, who bound us and carried us before the caliph. I suffered myself to be bound like the rest, still without saying a word: for what use would it have been to me, either to have remonstrated, or to have made any resistance? It would only have been the cause of my being ill-treated by the guards, who would have paid no attention to me; for they are brutes, who will not hear reason. I was, in fact, with the robbers, and that was quite enough for them to believe, that I really was one.

As soon as we were come before the caliph, he ordered these ten rascals to be punished. “Strike off,” said he, “the heads of these ten robbers. The executioner immediately ranged us in a line within reach of his arm, and fortunately I was the very last. He then, beginning with the first, struck off the heads of the ten robbers; but when he came to me he stopped. The caliph observing, that the executioner did not cut off my head, called out in anger, “Have I not ordered thee to cut off the heads of the ten robbers? Why then hast thou cut off only nine?”--“Commander of the Faithful,” replied the executioner, “God forbid, that I should not execute your majesty’s orders. You may see here ten bodies on the ground, and as many heads, which I have cut off.” He then counted them. When the caliph himself saw that the executioner was right, he looked at me with astonishment; and finding that I did not possess the countenance of a robber,--“My good old man,” said he, “by what accident were you found among these wretches, who deserved a thousand deaths?”--“Commander of the Faithful,” I replied, “I will tell you the absolute truth: I this morning saw these ten persons, whose punishment is an illustrious proof of your majesty’s justice, get into a boat: being fully persuaded, that they were people, who were going to enjoy themselves in a party to celebrate this day, which is the most distinguished of our religion, I embarked with them.”

The caliph could not help laughing at my adventure; and, quite contrary to the lame young man, who treated me as a babbler, he admired my discretion and power of keeping silence. “Commander of the Faithful,” said I to him, “let not your majesty be astonished, if I hold my tongue upon any occasion, when another person would have been most anxious to have spoken. I make it my particular study to practise silence, and it is from the possession of this virtue, that I have acquired the glorious title of the silent man. I am called thus, in order to distinguish me from six brothers of mine. It is an art, which my philosophy has taught me; in short, this virtue is the cause of all my glory and my happiness.”--“I heartily rejoice,” answered the caliph, smiling, “that they have bestowed a title upon you, of which you make so excellent a use. But inform me what sort of men your brothers were: did they at all resemble you?”--“Not in the least;” I answered, “they were every one chatterers; and in person there was the greatest difference between us. The first was hunch-backed; the second was toothless; the third had but one eye; the fourth was quite blind; the fifth had his ears cut off: the sixth was hare-lipped. The various adventures which happened to them would enable your majesty to judge of their characters, if I might have the honour to relate them.” As I thought the caliph wished for nothing better than to hear them, I went on without waiting for his answer.

THE STORY OF THE BARBER’S FIRST BROTHER.

My eldest brother, Sire, who was called Bacbouc the hunchback, was a tailor by trade. As soon as his apprenticeship was finished, he hired a shop, which happened to be opposite a mill; and as he had not yet got a great deal of business, he found some difficulty in getting a livelihood. The miller, on the contrary, was very comfortably off; and had also a very beautiful wife. As my brother was one morning working in his shop, he happened to look up and perceived the window of the mill open, and the miller’s wife looking into the street. He thought her so very handsome, that he was quite enchanted with her; she, however, paid not the least attention to him, but shut the window, and did not make her appearance any more that day.

In the mean time the poor tailor did nothing but lift up his head, and kept looking towards the mill all the time he was at work. The consequence was, that he pricked his fingers very often, and his work was not that day so neat and regular as usual. When the evening came, and he was forced to shut up his shop, he had hardly resolution to set about it, because he still hoped he should again see the miller’s wife. It was, however, at length absolutely necessary for him to shut it up and retire to his small house, where he passed a very bad night. The next morning he got up very early, and ran to his shop; so impatient was he to behold his mistress. But he was not more fortunate than the day before, for the miller’s wife looked out only for one instant during the whole day. That instant, however, was quite sufficient to render him the most amorous of men. On the third he had, indeed, more reason to be satisfied, for the miller’s wife accidentally cast her eyes upon him, and actually surprised him attentively surveying her; this readily informed her of what passed in his bosom.

She had no sooner thus got acquainted with his sentiments, than she resolved, instead of being angry or vexed at it, to amuse herself with my brother. She looked at him with a smiling air, which he returned in the same manner, but so humourously, that she was obliged to shut the window as quick as possible, for fear her loud fits of laughter should make him suppose she was turning him into ridicule. Bacbouc was so innocent, that he interpreted this conduct in his own favour; and flattered himself, that she had looked upon him with pleasure.

The miller’s wife then resolved to gratify her inclination for humour at my brother’s expence. She happened to have a piece of handsome stuff, which she had for a long time intended to have made into a dress. She wrapped it up therefore in a beautiful handkerchief, embroidered with silk, and sent it to the tailor by a young female slave of hers. This slave being instructed for the purpose, came to his shop, and said, “My mistress sends her salutations to you, and desires you to make a dress out of this piece of stuff that I have brought, according to the pattern that is along with it. She very often alters her dress, and you will be very well pleased with her custom. My brother did not for a moment doubt but that the miller’s wife was in love with him. He thought that she had given him this employment so soon after what had passed between them, only to show that she was well acquainted with the state of his heart, and to assure him of the progress he had made in her affections. Impressed with this good opinion of himself, he desired the slave to tell her mistress, that he would put aside every other business for hers, and that the dress should be ready by the next morning. He worked, in short, with so much diligence and assiduity, that the dress was finished that very day.

The next morning the young slave came to see if the dress was finished. Bacbouc immediately gave it her, neatly folded up, and said, “I have too great an interest to oblige your mistress to neglect her dress; and I wish, by my diligence, to persuade her to employ no one else but myself.” The slave then walked a few steps, as if she was going away; but suddenly turning back, she said in a low voice to my brother, “I had nearly forgotten, by the by, to execute one of my commissions; my mistress charged me to make her compliments to you, and to ask you how you had passed the night; as for her, she, poor lady, is so much in love with you that she has not slept a wink.”--“Tell her,” answered my poor simpleton of a brother, in a transport, “that my passion for her is so violent, I have not closed my eyes these four nights.” After this kind speech from the miller’s wife, he flattered himself she would not let him languish a long time in expectation only of her favors.

The slave had not left my brother above a quarter of an hour, before he saw her return with a piece of satin. “My mistress,” said she, “is quite satisfied with her dress, which fits her as well as possible; but as it is very handsome, and she is desirous of wearing it only with a new pair of drawers, she entreats you to make her a pair as soon as possible, out of this piece of satin.”--“It is sufficient,” answered Bacbouc, “it shall be done before I leave my shop to-day; and you have only to come and fetch it in the evening.” The miller’s wife showed herself very often to my brother from the window, and was prodigal of her charms in order to encourage him to work. It was quite a treat to see him stitching. The drawers were soon made, and the slave came to take them; but she brought the tailor no money, either for what he had laid out in the trimmings for both the dress and the drawers, or to pay him for making of either. In the mean time this unfortunate lover, who thus diverted them, without knowing he was made a fool of, had eaten nothing the whole of that day; and was obliged to borrow some money to purchase a supper.

The day following, as soon as he was come to his shop, the young slave came to him, and told him the miller wished to speak to him. “My mistress,” added she, “has shown him your work, and has said so much in your favor, that he also wants you to work for him. She has acted thus, because she wishes that the intercourse and connection which thus will be formed between you and him, should be a means of enabling you both to succeed in what you so much desire. My brother was easily persuaded of this, and went with the slave to the mill. The miller gave him a good reception, and showing him a piece of cloth, “I have occasion,” said he, “for some shirts, and wish you to make me twenty out of this piece of cloth: if there be any remain you will bring it back.”

My brother was obliged to work for five or six days before he finished the twenty shirts for the miller; who, immediately after, gave him another piece of cloth to make him as many pair of drawers. When they were finished, Bacbouc carried them to the miller, who asked him what was his demand for his trouble. My brother upon this said, that he should be satisfied with twenty drachms of silver. The miller immediately called the young slave, and ordered her to bring the scales, to see if the money he was going to pay was weight. The slave, who knew her part, looked at my brother angrily, to make him understand, that he would spoil every thing if he received the money. He understood her very well; and therefore refused to take any of the silver, although he was so much in want of it, that he had been obliged to borrow some in order to purchase the thread, with which he had made the shirts and the drawers. When he left the miller, he came directly to me, and entreated me to lend him a trifle to buy some food, telling me that his customers did not pay him. I gave him some copper money which I had in my purse, upon which he lived for some days. It is true, he eat only broth, nor even with that did he ever get a sufficient meal.

My brother one day went into the miller’s, who was busy about his mill; and thinking my brother might come to ask for his money, he offered it him: but the young slave, who was present, again, by signs to him, prevented his accepting any, and made him tell the miller in answer, that he did not come on that account, but only to inquire after his health. The miller thanked him for his kindness, and gave him an outside robe to make. Bacbouc brought it home the next day: when the miller took out his purse: but the young slave coming in at that moment, looked at my brother, who then said to the miller; “There is no hurry, neighbour, we will settle the business another time.” Thus the poor dupe returned to his shop with three great evils; he was in love, he was hungry, and he was pennyless.