Part 10

The neighbours immediately assembled at the noise, broke open the door, and had much difficulty to separate the combatants. Having at last put an end to the fray, they inquired the cause of their disagreement. “Gentlemen,” cried my brother, who had not yet let the robber go, “this man, whom I have got hold of is a thief, who came in here with us for the purpose of robbing us of the little money we possess.” The robber, who as soon as he saw the people enter, had shut his eyes, and pretended to be blind, said, “He is a liar, gentlemen; and I swear by the name of God, and by the life of the caliph, that I am one of their companions and associates, and that they refuse to give me the share which belongs to me. They all three set themselves against me, and I demand justice.” The neighbours, who did not wish to interfere with their disputes, carried them all four before the judge of the police.

When they were come before this magistrate, the robber, still pretending to be blind, without waiting till they were interrogated, said, “Since you, my lord, have been appointed to administer justice in behalf of the caliph, whose power may God prosper, I will declare to you that we are all equally culpable. But as we have pledged ourselves under an oath, not to reveal any thing except we receive the bastinado, if you wish to be informed of our crime, you have only to order it to be given to us; and you may begin with me.” My brother now wished to speak, but they compelled him to hold his tongue. They then began to bastinado the robber.

He had the resolution to bear twenty or thirty strokes; and then pretending to be overcome with pain, he first opened one eye, and soon after the other; calling out at the same time for mercy, and begging the judge of the police to order them to remit his punishment. At seeing the robber with both eyes open, the judge was very much astonished. “Scoundrel,” he cried, “what does this strange thing mean?”--“My lord,” replied the robber, “I will discover a most important secret, if you will have the goodness to pardon me; and as a pledge that you will keep your word, give me the ring you have on your finger, and which you often use as a seal. I am then ready to reveal the whole mystery to you.”

The judge ordered his people to stop the punishment, and promised to pardon him. “Upon the faith of this promise,” replied the robber, “I now declare to you, my lord, that both my companions and myself are possessed of most excellent eye-sight. We all four feign blindness, in order to have the power of entering houses without molestation, and even penetrating into the apartments of the women, whose weakness we sometimes take advantage of. I moreover confess to you, that we have collected in common, at least ten thousand drachms by this cunning trick. This morning I demanded of my companions two thousand five hundred drachms, which came to my share; but because I declared I would break off all connection with them and retire, and from fear that I should discover their artifice, they refused to give them me; on my continuing to insist upon my share, they all fell upon me, and ill-treated me in a violent manner, as I can prove by the people who have brought us before you. I wait here for you to administer justice, my lord, and that you will make them deliver up the two thousand five hundred drachms, which are my due. And if you wish that my comrades should acknowledge the truth of what I advance, order them to receive three times as many blows as you have given me, and you will see them open their eyes as I did.”

My brother and the other two blind men wished to convince the judge of this infamous imposture, but he would not hear a word. “Rascals,” cried he, “is it thus then that you counterfeit blindness, and go about deceiving people, under pretence of exciting their charity, and are thus enabled to be guilty of such wicked actions?”--“He is an impostor,” exclaimed my brother, “it is false, that we are able to see at all, and we are ready to take God to witness of it.”

Whatever my brother could say, was nevertheless useless; both he and his companions received two hundred strokes of the bastinado. The judge every moment expected them to open their eyes, and attributed to their great obstinacy, what it was impossible for them to do. During the whole of this time, the robber kept saying to the blind men, “My good fellows, open your eyes, and do not wait till you almost die under the punishment.” Then addressing himself to the judge of the police, he added, “I see very well, my lord, that they will carry their obstinacy so far, that they will never open their eyes; they are without doubt anxious to avoid the shame of reading their own condemnation in the countenances of those who surround them. It is better to pardon them now, and send some one with me to take the ten thousand drachms they have concealed.”

The judge did not intend to neglect doing this; he therefore commanded one of his people to accompany the robber, and they brought the ten bags back with them. He then ordered two thousand five hundred drachms to be counted out and given to the robber, and kept the remainder for himself. With respect to my brother and his companions, he was satisfied with ordering them into banishment, which punishment he thought light enough. I was no sooner informed of what had happened to Bakbac, than I sought him out. He related his misfortune to me, and I brought him privately back into the city. I should have been able, I have no doubt, to have proved the innocence of my brother before the judge of the police, and to have had the robber punished as he deserved, but I dared not undertake it for fear of bringing some misfortune upon my own head.

This is the conclusion of the melancholy adventure of my third brother, who was blind. The caliph did not laugh less at this than he had done at those he had before heard. He again ordered me to receive something more; but without waiting till they had done so, I began the history of my fourth brother.

THE HISTORY OF THE BARBER’S FOURTH BROTHER.

The name by which my fourth brother was called, was Alcouz. He lost his eye in the manner I shall have the honour to relate to your majesty. He was a butcher by trade! and as he had a particular talent in bringing up rams, and teaching them to fight, he from this circumstance acquired the friendship and knowledge of some of the principal people; who were much amused with these sorts of combats, and who even kept rams for this very purpose at their own houses. He had, besides, a very good business; and there was always in his shop the finest and most beautiful meat that was to be found in the market; because he was very rich, and did not spare expense in order to have the best.

As he was one day in his shop, an old man, who had a very long and white beard, came in to purchase six pounds of meat; he then paid his money and went away. My brother observed, that his money was very beautiful, new, and well coined. He resolved, therefore, to lay it by in a separate part of his closet. During five months the same old man came regularly every day for the same quantity of meat, and paid for it with the same sort of money, which my brother as regularly continued to lay by.

At the end of five months, Alcouz, having an inclination to make a purchase of a certain quantity of sheep, resolved to pay for them out of this particular money; the therefore went to his box, and opened it; but he was in the greatest astonishment, when he discovered, instead of his money, only a parcel of leaves cut round. He immediately began to beat himself, and made so great a noise, that he brought all his neighbours about him; whose surprise was as great as his own, when he informed them of what had passed. “I wish to God,” cried my brother, with tears in his eyes, “that this treacherous old man would at this instant make his appearance with his hypocritical face.” He had hardly spoken these words, when he saw him coming along at a distance. He ran in the greatest hurry to meet him, and having seized hold of him; “Mussulmen,” he vociferated with all his force, “assist me; only listen to the shameful trick that this infamous man has played me.” He then related to a large crowd of people, who had collected round him, the same story he had before done to his neighbours. When he had finished his tale, the old man, without the least emotion, quietly answered, You would do much better to let me go, and by this action make reparation for the affront you have thus offered me before so many people; lest I should return you the compliment in a more serious manner, which I should be sorry to do.”--“And what have you, pray, to say against me?” replied my brother, “I am an honest man in my business, and I fear you not.”--“You wish, then, that I should make it public,” returned the old man, in the same tone of voice. “Learn then,” added he, addressing himself to the people, “that instead of selling the flesh of sheep, as he ought to do, this man sells human flesh.”--“You are an impostor,” cried my brother.”--“No, no,” answered the other; for at this very moment I am speaking, there is a man with his throat cut, hanging up on the outside of your shop like a sheep. Let them go there, and we shall soon know, whether I have spoken the truth.”

Before my brother had opened the box where the leaves were, he had that morning killed a sheep, and had dressed and exposed it on the outside of his shop as usual. He therefore protested that what the old man had said was false; but in spite of all his protestations, the credulous mob, enraged at the idea of a man’s being guilty of so shocking a crime, wished to be assured of the fact on the spot. They therefore obliged my brother to let the old man go, and laid hold of him instead, and ran like fury to his shop, where they saw a man with his throat cut; and hung up exactly as the accuser had stated: for this old man was, in fact, a magician, and had deceived the eyes of all the people, as he had formerly done my brother, when he made him take the leaves he had given him, for real good money.

At sight of this, one of those who held Alcouz gave him a great blow with his fist, and at the same time said, “Is it thus then, rascal, that you make us eat human flesh?” The old man also, who had not left them, immediately gave him another blow, that knocked out one of his eyes. Every one, who could get near him, was not deficient in beating him. Nor were they satisfied with ill-treating him in this manner; they conducted him before the judge of the police, before whom they produced the pretended carcase, which they had taken down and brought with them, as a proof of the accused person’s guilt. “My lord,” said the old magician to him, “you see before you a man, who is so barbarous as to kill men, and sell their flesh for that of sheep. The public expect that you will punish him in an exemplary manner.” The judge of the police attended to what my brother had to say with great patience, but the story of the money, changed into leaves, appeared so little worthy of belief, that he treated my brother as an impostor; and choosing to give credit to his own eyes, he ordered him to receive five hundred blows. After this, having obliged him to discover where his money was, he took the whole of it from him, and condemned him to perpetual banishment, after having exposed him for three successive days, mounted on a camel, to all the city.

At the time that this dreadful adventure happened to Alcouz, my fourth brother, I was absent from Bagdad. He retired to a very obscure part, where he remained concealed till the wounds his punishment produced, were healed. It was chiefly on the back that he had been so beaten. As soon as he was able to walk he travelled, during the night and through unfrequented roads, to a city where he was known to no one! there he took a lodging, from whence he hardly ever stirred. Tired, however, at last of living so recluse a life, he one day went to walk in the suburbs of the town, when he suddenly heard a great noise of horsemen coming along behind him. He happened just at this instant to be near the door of a large house; and as he was apprehensive of every body, after what had passed, he fancied that these horsemen were in pursuit of him in order to arrest him. He therefore opened the door for the purpose of concealing himself. After having shut it again, he went into a large court, where he had no sooner appeared than two domestics came up to him and seized him by the collar, saying, “God be praised that you have come of your own free will, to give yourself up. You have disturbed us so much for these last three nights, we have been unable to sleep; and you have spared our lives only because we have prevented your base intention of taking them.”

You may easily imagine that my brother was not a little surprised at this sort of welcome. “My good friends,” said he to them, “I really know not what you wish of me; you without doubt take me for another person.”--“No, no,” replied they, “we are not ignorant that you and your comrades are free-booters. You were not satisfied with having robbed our master of all he possessed, and reducing him to beggary, but even wished to take his life. Let us see if you have not the knife about you, which you had in your hand when we pursued you last night.” Having said this, they began to search him, and perceived that he had a knife. “So, so,” cried they in taking it, “and have you the assurance still to deny that you are a robber?”--“What,” then answered my brother, “cannot a man carry a knife in his pocket, without being a thief? Listen to my story,” added he, “and instead of having a bad opinion of me, you will even be affected at my misfortunes.” So far, however, were they from listening to it, that they immediately fell upon him, trod upon him, pulled off his clothes, tore his shirt; and then observing the scars upon his back, “Ah, rascal,” they cried, redoubling their blows, “do you wish to make us believe you are an honest man, when your back is so covered with scars?”--“Alas,” cried my brother, “my sins must be very great, since, after having been once before so unjustly treated, I am served so a second time without being the least culpable.”

The two servants paid no attention to my brother’s complaints; but carried him before the judge of the police. “How dare you,” said the judge, “break into people’s houses, and pursue them with a knife in your hand?”--“My lord,” answered poor Alcouz, “I am one of the most innocent men in the world. I shall be undone, if you will not do me the favour patiently to listen to me. No person is more worthy of compassion than I am.”--“Sir,” cried one of the domestics at this instant, “will you listen for a moment to a robber, who breaks into people’s houses, pillages them, and murders the inhabitants? If you refuse to give us credit, look at his back, and that will prove enough.” When he had said this, they uncovered my brother’s back, and showed it to the judge, who immediately ordered him to receive upon the spot a hundred strokes, with a leathern strap, on his shoulders, without inquiring any farther into the matter: he then commanded him to be led through the city upon a camel, with a crier going before him, calling out, “this is the way they punish those who forcibly break into houses.”

When this ceremony was over, they set him down without the town, and forbad him ever to enter it again. Some people, who accidentally met him after this second disgraceful event, informed me where he was. I directly set out to find him, and then brought him secretly to Bagdad, where I did every thing, as far as I was able, to assist him.

The caliph Mostanser Billah (continued the barber), did not laugh so much at this history as at the others; for he had the goodness of heart to commiserate the unfortunate Alcouz. He then wished to give me something, and send me away; but without giving them time to obey his orders, I said, “You may now have observed, most sovereign lord and master, that I speak very little. Since your majesty has had the goodness to listen to me thus far, and as you express a wish to hear the adventures of my two other brothers, I hope and trust they will not afford you less amusement than what you have already heard. You may then make a most complete history of them, which will not be unworthy of being placed amongst your archives.”

THE HISTORY OF THE BARBER’S FIFTH BROTHER.

I have the honour to inform you, that the name of my fifth brother was Alnaschar, who, while he lived with my father, was excessively idle: instead of working for his bread, he was not ashamed of demanding sufficient for his support every evening, and to live upon it the next day. Our father at last died at a very advanced period of life, and all he left us consisted of seven hundred drachms of silver. We divided it equally among us, and each took one hundred for his share. Alnaschar, who had never before been in possession of so much money at a time, found himself very much embarrassed with the disposal of it. He debated a long time in his own mind on this subject, and at last determined to lay it out in the purchase of glasses, bottles, and other glass articles, which he went to get at a large wholesale merchant’s. He put the whole of his stock into an open basket, and fixed upon a very small shop, where he sat down with the basket before him; and, leaning his back against the wall, waited for customers to buy his merchandise.

While he was remaining in this attitude, with his eyes fixed upon his basket, he began to meditate; and in the midst of his reverie, he pronounced the following speech sufficiently loud for a tailor, who was his neighbour, to hear him. “This basket,” said he, “cost me one hundred drachms, and that is all I am worth in the world. In selling its contents by retail, I shall do well in making two hundred drachms: and of these two hundred which I shall employ again in glass ware, I shall make four hundred drachms. By continuing this traffic, I shall, in process of time, amass the sum of four thousand drachms. With these four thousand, I shall easily make eight. And as soon as I am worth ten thousand, I will leave off selling glass ware and turn jeweller. I will then deal in diamonds, pearls, and all sorts of precious stones. When I shall be in possession of as much wealth as I wish, I will purchase a beautiful house, large estates, eunuchs, slaves, and horses. I will entertain handsomely and largely, and shall make some noise in the world. I will make all the musicians and dancers, both male and female, who live in the city, come to my house. Nor will I remain satisfied, till I have realized, if it shall please God, one hundred thousand drachms. And when I shall become thus rich, I shall think myself equal to a prince; and I will send and demand the daughter of the grand vizier in marriage, and represent to him that I have heard most astonishing reports of the beauty, wisdom, wit, and every other good quality of his daughter: and in short, that I will bestow upon her, the very night of our nuptials, a thousand pieces of gold. If the vizier should be so ill-bred as to refuse me his daughter, though I know that will not be the case, I will go and take her away before his face, and bring her home in spite of him.

As soon as I shall have married the grand vizier’s daughter, I will purchase ten very young and well-made black eunuchs for her. I will dress myself like a prince; and will parade through the town, mounted on a fine horse, the saddle of which shall be of pure gold, and the caparisons of gold stuff, relieved with diamonds and pearls. I will be accompanied by slaves, who shall go both before and behind me, and will thus proceed to the palace of the vizier, with the eyes of all fixed upon me, both nobles and others, who will make me the most profound reverence as I go along. When I shall have dismounted at the grand vizier’s, and come to the bottom of the staircase, I will ascend between my people, ranged in two rows to the right and left; and the grand vizier, in receiving me for his son-in-law, shall give me his place, and seat himself before me, in order to show me the more respect. If all this should happen, as I hope it will, two of my men shall have a purse, each containing one thousand pieces of gold, which I had ordered them to bring. I will then take one of them, and in presenting it to the grand vizier will say, “Behold the thousand pieces of gold, which I have promised you on the first night of my marriage.” Then offering him the other, I will add, “This is not all; to show you that I am a man of my word, and to prove that I give you more than I promise, receive this other purse of equal value.” After such an act as this, my generosity will be the conversation of all the world.

I will then return home with the same pomp. My wife shall send some officer to compliment me on my visit to her father. I will bestow a beautiful robe of honor on the officer, and send him back with a rich present. If in return she shall wish to make me a present, I will refuse it; and dismiss the person who brings it. I will not, moreover, permit her to leave her apartments upon any account whatever, without first consulting me; and, whenever I wish to go to her, it shall always be in a way that shall impress her with the greatest respect for me. In short, no house shall be so well regulated as mine. I will always appear magnificently dressed; and, whenever I wish to pass the evening with her, I will sit in the most honorable seat, where I will affect a grave and solemn air; nor will I turn my head to the right or left. I will speak but little: and while my wife, beautiful as the moon at the full, presents herself before me in all her splendor, I will pretend not to see her. Her women, who will be standing round her, shall say, “My dear lord and master, behold your spouse, the humblest of your slaves, before you. She is waiting for you to caress her; and is much mortified that you do not deign to take the least notice of her. She is greatly fatigued at standing thus long before you; at least, then, give her leave to sit down.” I will not answer a word to this speech, at which their surprise and grief would be much augmented. They will then throw themselves at my feet; and after they shall have remained there a considerable time, entreating and begging me to yield to them, I will at last lift up my head, and casting upon her a sort of negligent unmeaning glance, will then return to my former state. Thinking, perhaps, that my wife may not either be well or properly dressed, they will lead her back to her room, in order to change her habit; and, in the mean time, I will return to my apartment and put on a more magnificent dress than I had before. They will then return a second time; will address the same speech; and I shall again have the pleasure of not looking at my wife, till they shall have prayed and entreated me as long and earnestly as before. And I will thus begin, on the very first day of my marriage, to teach her how she may expect to be treated, during the remainder of her life.