Chapter 30

In this desperate condition I walked out of my lodging, not knowing what course to take, and by chance steered towards the castle, where there was a great crowd of people, to see the sultan of Egypt. As soon as I came up to them, I wedged in among the crowd, and by chance happened to stand by a cavalier well mounted and handsomely clothed, who had upon the bow of his saddle a bag half open, with a string of green silk hanging out of it, I clapped my hand into the bag, concluding the silk- twist might be the string of a purse within the bag: in the mean time, a porter, with a load of wood upon his back, passed by the other side of the horse, so near, that the gentleman on horse-* back was forced to turn his head towards him to avoid being rubbed by the wood. In that very moment did the devil tempt me; I took the string in one hand, and with the other laid open the mouth of the bag, and pulled out the purse so dexterously that nobody perceived it. The purse was heavy, therefore I did not doubt that there was gold or silver in it. As soon as the porter had passed, the cavalier, who probably had some suspicion of what I had done while his head was turned, presently put his hand to his bag, and, finding his purse gone, gave me such a blow as knocked me down. This violence shocked all who saw it; some took hold of the horse's bridle to stop the gentleman, and inquire what reason he had to beat me, or how he came to treat a Mussulman after that rate. Do not you trouble yourselves, said he, with a brisk tone; I had reason enough for what I did; this fellow is a thief. In fine, every one took my part, cried he was a liar, and that it was incredible a young man like me should be guilty of so foul an action: but while they were holding his horse by the bridle to favour my escape, unfortunately came by the justiciary judge, who, seeing such a crowd about the gentleman on horseback and me, came up and asked what the matter was? Everybody reflected on the gentleman for treating me so unjustly upon pretence of robbery. The judge did not give ear to all that was said in my behalf, but asked the cayalier if he suspected anybody else besides me? The cavalier told him he did not, and gave his reasons why he believed his suspicion not to be groundless. Upon this, the judge ordered his followers to seize and search me, which they presently did; and finding the purse upon me, exposed it to the view of all the people. The shame was so great, that I could not bear it, but swooned away; and in the meantime the judge called for the purse. When he had got the purse in his hand, he asked the horseman if it was his, and how much money was in it? The cavalier knew it to be his own, and assured the judge he had put twenty sequins into it. Upon that the judge called me before him; Come, young man, said he, confess the truth. Was it you that took the gentleman's purse from him? Do not put yourself to the trouble of torture to extort confession. Then I looked down with my eyes, thinking within myself, that if I denied the fact, they, finding the purse about me, would convict me of a lie; so, to avoid a double punishment, I looked up, and confessed the fact. I had no sooner made this confession than the judge called people to witness it, and ordered my hand to be cut off. This hard sentence was put in execution immediately upon the spot, to the great regret of all the spectators; nay, I observed by the cavalier's countenance, that he was moved with pity as much as the rest. The judge likewise would have ordered my foot to be cut off, but I begged the cavalier to intercede for my pardon, which he did, and obtained it. The judge being gone, the cavalier came up to me, and holding out the purse, I see plainly, said he, that necessity put you upon an action so disgraceful, and so unworthy of such a handsome young man as you are. Here, take that fatal purse, I freely give it you, and am heartily sorry for the misfortune you have undergone. He then went away; and I being very weak, by reason of the loss of blood, some of the good people that lived that way had the kindness to carry me into one of their houses, and gave me a glass of wine; they likewise dressed my arm, and wrapped up the dismembered hand in a cloth.

If I had returned to the khan where I lodged, I should not have found such relief as I wanted; and to offer to go to the young lady's was running a great hazard, it being likely she would not look upon me after such an infamous thing had befallen me. I resolved, however, to put it to the trial; and, to tire out the crowd that followed me, I turned down several by-streets, and at last arrived at my lady's, very weak, and so much fatigued, that I presently threw myself down upon a sofa, keeping my right arm under my coat, for I took great care to conceal my misfortune.

The lady hearing of my arrival, and that I was not well, came to me in all haste: My dear soul, said she, what is the matter with you? Madam, said I, I have got a violent pain in my head. The lady seemed to be mightily afflicted with my pretended illness, and asked me to sit down, for I had got up to receive her. Tell me, said she, how your illness came; the last time I had the pleasure of seeing you, you was very well; there must be something else that you conceal from me; pray, let me know what it is. I stood silent, and, instead of an answer, tears trickled down my cheeks. I cannot conceive, said she, what it is that afflicts you. Have I given you any occasion to be uneasy? or do you come on purpose to tell me you do not love me? It is not that, madam, said I, fetching a deep sigh; your unjust suspicion is an addition to my evil. Still I could not think of discovering to her the true cause. When night came, supper was brought, and she pressed me to eat; but considering I could only feed myself with my left hand, I begged to be excused upon the plea of having no stomach. Your stomach will come to you, said she, if you would but discover what you so obstinately hide from me. Your inappetency, without doubt, is only owing to the aversion you have to a discovery. Alas! madam, said I, I find I must discover at last. I had no sooner spoken these words than she filled me a cup of wine: Drink that, said she, it will give you assurance. So I reached out my left hand, and took the cup. As soon as I took it, I redoubled my tears and sighs. Why do you sigh and cry so bitterly? said the lady; and why do you take the cup with your left hand instead of your right? Ah, madam, said I, excuse me, I beseech you, I have got a swelling in my right hand. Let me see that swelling, said she; I will open it. I desired to be excused upon that head, alleging the tumour was not ripe enough for opening; and drank the cupful, which was very large. In fine, the steams of the wine, joined to my weakness and weariness, set me asleep, and I slept very sound till next morning. In the mean time, the lady, curious to know what ailment I had in my right hand, lifted up my coat that covered it, and saw, to her great astonishment, that it was cut off, and that I had brought it along with me wrapt in a cloth. She presently apprehended my reason for declining a discovery, notwithstanding all the pressing instances she made, and passed the whole night in the greatest uneasiness upon my disgrace, which she concluded had been occasioned by the love I bore to her.

When I awaked, I observed by her countenance that she was extremely grieved. That she might not, however, increase my uneasiness, she said not one word. She called for jelly broth of fowl, which she had ordered to be got ready, and made me eat and drink to recruit my strength. After that, I offered to take leave of her, but she declared I should not go out of her doors; though you tell me nothing of the matter, said she, I am persuaded I am the cause of the misfortune that has befallen you: the grief that I feel upon that score will quickly make an end of me; but, before I die, I must do one thing that is designed for your advantage. She had no sooner said these words, than she called for a public notary and witnesses, and ordered a writing to be drawn up, conveying to me her whole estate. After this was done, and the men despatched, she opened a large trunk, where lay all the purses I had given her from the commencement of our amours. There are they all entire, said she; I have not touched one of them: here, take the key, the trunk is yours. After I had returned her thanks for her generosity and bounty, What I do for you, said she, is nothing at all; I shall not be satisfied unless I die, to show how much I love you. I conjured her, by all the powers of love, to drop such a fatal resolution; but all my remonstrances were ineffectual: she was so afflicted to see me have but one hand, that she sickened and died, after five or six weeks' illness. After mourning for her death as long as was decent, I took possession of her estate, a particular account of which she gave me before she died; and the corn you sold for me was part of it.

What I have now told you will induce you to excuse me for eating with my left hand. I am greatly obliged to you for the trouble you have given yourself on my account. I can never make sufficient acknowledgment of your fidelity. Since God has still given me a competent estate, notwithstanding I have spent a great deal, I beg you to accept of the sum now in your hand as a present from me. Over and above this, I have a proposal to make to you, which is this: for as much as, by reason of this fatal accident, I am obliged to depart from Cairo, I am resolved never to see it more. So, if you please to accompany me, we shall trade together as equal partners, and divide the profits.

I thanked the young man, said, the Christian merchant, for the present he made me; and as to the proposal of travelling with him, I willingly embraced it, assuring him that his interest should always be as dear to me as my own. We accordingly get a day for our departure, and set out upon our travels. We passed through Syria and Mesopotamia, travelled all over Persia, and, after stopping at several cities, came at last, sir, to your metropolis. Some time after our arrival in this place, the young man having formed a design of returning to Persia, and settling there, we settled our accounts, and parted very good friends; so he went from hence, and I continue here at your majesty's service. This, sir, is the story I had to tell you: does not your majesty find it yet more surprising than that of the crooked buffoon?

The sultan of Casgar fell into a passion against the Christian merchant: you are very bold, said he, to tell me a story so little worth my hearing, and then to compare it with that of my jester. Can you flatter yourself so far as to believe that the trifling adventures of a young rake can make such an impression upon me as those of my jester? Well, I am resolved to hang you all four to revenge his death.

This said, the purveyor fell down at the sultan's feet. Sir, said he, I humbly beseech your majesty to suspend your just wrath, and hear my story; and if my story appears to your majesty to be prettier than that of your jester, to pardon us all four. The sultan having granted his request, the purveyor began his story.

THE STORY TOLD BY THE SULTAN OF CASGAR'S PURVEYOR.

Sir, a person of quality invited me yesterday to his daughter's wedding; I went accordingly to his house at the hour appointed, and found there a large company of doctors, ministers of justice, and others of the best quality in the city. After the ceremony was over, we had a splendid treat; and, among other things set upon the table, there was a course with garlic sauce, which was very delicious and palatable to everybody; but we observed that one of the guests did not touch it, though it stood just before him, and thereupon we invited him to do as we did: he conjured us, however, not to press him upon that head. I will take care, said he, not to touch any thing that has garlic in it; I remember well what the tasting of such a thing cost me once before. We entreated him to tell us what was the occasion of his aversion to garlic; but before he had time to make answer, Is it thus, said the master of the house, that you honour my table? This ragoo is excellent, therefore do not you pretend to be excused from eating of it; you must do me that favour as well as the rest. Sir, said the gentleman, who was a Bagdad merchant, I hope you do not think that I refuse to eat of it out of mistaken nicety; if you will have me eat of it, I will do so; but upon this condition, that, after eating of it, I may wash my hands, by your leave, forty times with alcali[Footnote: This in English is called salt wort.*], forty times more with the ashes of the same plant, and forty times again with soap, I hope you will not take it ill that I stipulate so, as it is in pursuance of an oath I have made never to taste garlic without observing this rule. The master of the house would not dispense with the merchant from eating of the ragoo with garlic, and therefore ordered his servant to get ready a bason of water together with alcali, the ashes of the same plant, and soap, that the merchant might wash as often as he pleased. When every thing was got ready, Now, said he to the merchant, I hope you will do as we. The merchant, displeased with the violence that was offered him, reached out his hand to take a bit, which he put to his mouth trembling, and ate with a reluctance that surprised us all. But the greatest surprise was, that he had only four fingers and no thumb, which none of us observed before, though he had eaten of other dishes. You have lost your thumb, said the master of the house; how came that about? It must have been occasioned by some extraordinary accident, a relation of which will be an agreeable entertainment to the company. Sir, replied the merchant, I have not a thumb on either the right or left hand. He then showed us his left hand, as well as his right. But this is not all, continued he, I have not a great toe on either of my feet! I hope you will take my word for it. I was maimed in this manner by an unheard-of accident, which I am willing to relate to you, if you have the patience to hear me. The relation will equally astonish, and affect you with pity; but suffer me to wash my hands first. Upon this he rose from the table, and, after washing his hands an hundred and twenty times, took his place again, and thus proceeded:

You must know, gentlemen, that, in the reign of the caliph Haroun Alrasehid, my father lived at Bagdad, the place of my nativity, and was reputed one of the richest merchants in the city; but, being a man too much addicted to pleasure, one that loved an irregular life, and neglected his private affairs, instead of leaving me a plentiful fortune at his death, he left me in such a condition, that all my economy was scarcely sufficient to clear his debts. With much ado, however, I paid them all, and, through industry and care, my little fortune began to assume a smiling countenance.

One morning as I opened my shop, a lady mounted upon a mule, attended by an eunuch and two women slaves, stopped near my shop-door, and, with the assistance of the eunuch, alighted. Madam, said the eunuch, I said you would be too soon, you see there is nobody yet in the bezestein; if you had taken my advice, you might have saved yourself the trouble of waiting here. The lady looked around her, and finding there was no shop open but mine, addressed herself to me, asking leave to sit in my shop till the rest of the merchants came; of course I could do no less than return a civil answer, and invite the lady into my shop. She sat down in my shop, and, observing there was nobody in the whole bezestein save the eunuch and me, uncovered her face to take the air; and I must say I never saw any thing so pretty in my lifetime. I had no sooner a sight of her face than I loved her; of course I fixed my eyes upon her, and perceived that she was not displeased; for she gave me a full opportunity to look upon her, and did not cover her face till she was afraid of being taken notice of. Having let down her veil, she told me that she wanted several sorts of the richest and finest stuffs, and asked me if I had them? Alas! madam, said I, I am but a young man, just beginning the world, and have not stock enough for such great concerns; and it is a mortification to me that I have nothing to show you such as you want: but to save you the trouble of going from shop to shop, as soon as the merchants come, I will go, if you please, and fetch from them what you want, with the lowest prices; and so you may do your business without going any further. She complied with my proposal, and entered into discourse, which continued so much the longer, that I still made her believe that the merchants who could furnish what she wanted were not yet come.

I was charmed no less with her wit than I had been before with the beauty of her face; but there was a necessity for denying myself the pleasure of her conversation: I ran out to seek for the stuffs she wanted, and after she had pitched upon what she liked, we struck the price at five thousand drams of coined silver; so I wrapped up the stuffs in a small bundle, and gave it to the eunuch, who put it under his arm; after which, she rose and took leave. I still continued to look after her, till she had got to the bezestein gate; and mounted her mule again.

The lady had no sooner disappeared than I perceived that love was the cause of great oversights; it had so engrossed all my thoughts; that I did not recollect she had gone off without paying the money; nor had I the consideration to ask who she was, or where she dwelt. However, I considered that I was accountable for a large sum to the merchants, who, perhaps, would not have the patience to stay for their money; so I went to them, and made the best excuse I could, pretending that I knew the lady; but came home equally affected with love, and with the burden of such a heavy debt.

I had desired my creditors to stay eight days for their money, and, when the eight days were past, they did not fail to dun me; then I intreated them to give me eight days more, which they agreed to; and the very next day I saw the lady come to the bezestein, mounted on her mule, with the same attendants as before, and exactly at the same hour of the day. She came straight to my shop. I have made you stay some time, said she, but here is your money at last; carry it to a banker, and see that it is all good. The eunuch, who brought me the money, went along with me to the banker's, and we found it very right. I came back again, and had the happiness of conversing with the lady till all the shops in the bezestein were open: though we talked of ordinary things, she gave them such a turn, that they appeared new and uncommon, and convinced me that I was not mistaken in admiring her wit.

As soon as the merchants were come, and had opened their shops, I carried to the respective people the money due for their stuffs, and was readily intrusted with more which the lady had desired to see. In short, the lady took stuffs to the value of an hundred pieces of gold, and again carried them away without paying for them: nay, without saying one word, or informing me where she was. I was astonished when I considered that at this rate she left me without any security of not being troubled, if she never came back again. She has paid me, thinks I to myself, a good round sum, but she leaves me in the lurch for another that runs much deeper. Surely she cannot be a cheat; it is not possible she can have any design to inveigle me: the merchants do not know her, and will all come upon me. In short, my love was not so powerful as to remove the uneasiness I felt when I reflected upon all circumstances. A whole month passed before I heard any thing of the lady again; and during that time the alarm grew higher and higher every day. The merchants were impatient for their money; and, to satisfy them, I was even going to sell off all I had, when the lady returned one morning with the same equipage as before. Take your weights, said she, and weigh the gold I have brought you. These words dispelled my fear, and inflamed my love. Before we told down the money, she asked me several questions, and particularly if I was married? I made answer, I never was. Then reaching out the gold to the eunuch, let us have your interposition, said she, to accommodate our matters: upon which the eunuch fell a laughing, and, calling me aside, made me weigh the gold. While I was weighing, the eunuch whispered in my ear, I know by your eyes that you love this lady, and am surprised to find you have not the assurance to disclose your love to her: she loves you more passionately than you do her. Do you imagine that she has any real occasion for your stuffs? She only makes an errand to come hither, because you have inspired her with a violent passion. Do but ask her the question; it will be your fault if you do not marry her. It is true, said I, I have had a love for her from the first moment I cast my eyes upon her; but I did not aspire to the happiness of thinking my love acceptable to her. I am entirely hers, and shall not fail to retain a grateful sense of your good offices in that matter. In fine, I made an end of weighing the gold, and while I was putting it into the bag, the eunuch turned to the lady, and told her I was satisfied, that being the word they had both agreed upon between themselves. Presently after that, the lady rose and took leave; telling me she would send the eunuch to me, and that I should do what he directed me to do in her name.

I carried every one of the merchants their money, and waited some days with impatience for the eunuch. At last he came. I entertained him very kindly, and asked him how his mistress did? You are, said he, the happiest lover in the world; she is quite sick of love for you; she covets extremely to see you; and were she mistress of her own conduct, would not fail to come to you, and willingly pass every moment of her life in your company. Her noble mien and graceful carriage, said I, evinced that she was a lady beyond the common level. The judgement you have formed upon that head, said the eunuch, is very just; she is the favourite of Zobeide, the caliph's lady, who has brought her up from her infancy, and intrusts her with all her affairs. Having a mind to marry, she has declared to Zobeide that she has cast her eyes upon you, and desired her consent. Zobeide told her she agreed to it, only she had a mind to see you first, in order to judge whether she had made a good choice: if she had, Zobeide meant to defray the charges of the wedding. Thus you see your felicity is certain; since you have pleased the favourite, you will be equally agreeable to the mistress, who seeks only to oblige her favourite, and would by no means thwart her inclination. In fine, all you have to do is to come to the palace. I am sent hither to call you, so you will please to come to a resolution. My resolution is formed already, said I; and I am ready to follow you whithersoever you please to conduct me. Very well, said the eunuch; but you know that men are not allowed to enter the ladies' apartments in the palace, and so you must be introduced with great secrecy: the favourite lady has contrived the matter very well. Upon your side you are to act your part very discreetly; for if you do not, your life is at stake.