Part 79

When they had drank off their wine, It is great pity, said the caliph, that so gallant a man as you, who owns himself not insensible of love, should lead so solitary a life. I prefer the easy quiet life I live, replied Abon Hassan, before the company of a wife, whose beauty might not please me, and who, besides, might create me a great deal of trouble by her imperfections and ill-humour. The conversation lasted a long time, and the caliph seeing Abon Hassan had drank up to the pitch he desired, said, Let me alone, since you have the same good taste as every other honest man, I warrant you I will find you one that shall please you. Then taking Abon Hassan’s glass, and putting a pinch of the same powder into it again, filled him up a bumper and presenting it to him, said, Come let us drink beforehand the fair lady’s health, who is to make you happy. I am sure you will like her.

Abon Hassan took the glass laughing, and shaking his head, said, Be it so; since you desire it, I cannot be guilty of so great a piece of incivility, nor disoblige a guest of so much merit in such a trifling matter. I will drink the lady’s health you promise me, though I am very well contented as I am, and do not rely on your promise. But no sooner had Abon Hassan drank off his bumper, than he was seized with as deep a sleep as before, and the caliph ordered the same slave to take him and carry him to the palace. The slave did so, and the caliph, who did not intend to send back Abon Hassan as before, shut the door after him, as he had promised, and followed the slave carrying Abon Hassan.

When they arrived at the palace, the caliph ordered Abon Hassan to be laid on a sofa, in the fourth hall, from whence he was carried home fast asleep a month before; but first he bid them put him on the same habit which he acted the caliph in, which was done forthwith before him. He then sent every body to bed, and charged all the eunuchs, officers, ladies, and musicians who were in the hall, when he drank the last glass of wine which had put him to sleep, to be there by daybreak, and to take care to act their parts well when he should awake. He then went to bed, charging Mesrour to awake him before they went into the hall, that he might conceal himself in the closet as before.

Mesrour, at the hour appointed, awakened the caliph, who immediately rose and went to the hall where Abon Hassan lay fast asleep, and when he had placed himself in his closet, Mesrour and the other officers, ladies and musicians, who waited for him, went in, and placed themselves about the sofa, so as not to hinder the caliph from seeing what passed, and noticing all his actions.

Things being thus disposed, and the caliph’s powder having had its effect, Abon Hassan began to awake without opening his eyes, and threw off the phlegm, which was received in a gold basin as before. In that moment the seven bands of musicians joined their charming voices to the sound of hautboys, fifes, flutes and other instruments, forming a very agreeable concert. Abon Hassan was in great surprise to hear that delightful harmony; but when he opened his eyes, and saw the ladies and officers about him, whom he thought he knew again, his amazement increased. The hall that he was in, seemed to be the same he saw in his first dream, and he observed the same lustres, and the same furniture and ornaments.

The concert ceased, to give the caliph an opportunity of attending to the countenance of his new guest, and all that he might say in his surprise. The ladies, Mesrour, and all the officers of the chamber, waited in profound and respectful silence. Abon Hassan bit his finger, and cried loud enough for the caliph to hear him, Alas! I am fallen again into the same dream and illusion that happened to me a month ago, and must expect again the bull’s pizzle and iron cage at the madhouse. Almighty God, added he, I commit myself into the hands of thy divine providence. He was a wicked man that I entertained at my house last night, who has been the cause of this illusion, and the hardships I must undergo. The base wretch swore to shut the door after him, but did not, and the devil came in and has turned my brain with this wicked dream of being commander of the faithful, and other phantoms which bewitch my eyes. God confound thee, Satan, and crush thee under some mountain of stones.

After these last words, Abon Hassan closed his eyes, and remained sometime thoughtful and very much perplexed; then opening them again, and looking about him, cried out a second time with less surprise, and smiling at the various objects before him, Great God! I commit myself into the hands of thy providence; preserve me from the temptations of Satan. Then shutting them again, he said, I know what I will do: I will go to sleep until Satan leaves me, and returns as he came, were I to wait till noon. They did not give him time to go to sleep again, as he had promised himself: for Strength of Hearts, one of the ladies whom he had seen before, approached, and sitting down on the sofa by him, said to him respectfully, Commander of the faithful, I intreat your majesty to forgive me for taking the liberty to tell you not to go to sleep; day appears, and it is time to rise. Begone, Satan! answered Abon Hassan, raising his voice: but looking upon the lady, he said, is it me you call the commander of the faithful? Certainly you take me for somebody else. It is to your majesty I give that title, replied the lady, to whom it belongs, as you are sovereign of the Mussulman world, and I am your most humble slave. Undoubtedly, added she, your majesty means to divert yourself by pretending to have forgotten yourself, or this is the effect of some troublesome dream; but if you would but open your eyes, the mists which may disturb your imagination will soon be dispelled, and you will find yourself in your own palace, surrounded by your officers and slaves, who all wait your commands: and that your majesty may not be surprised to find yourself in this hall, and not in bed, I beg leave to tell you, that you fell so suddenly asleep last night, that we were unwilling to wake you, to conduct you to your chamber, but laid you carefully upon the sofa. In short, she said to him so many things that appeared probable, that at last he sat up, opened his eyes, and recollected her and all the ladies again. They all drew near, and she who spoke first, resuming the discourse, said, Commander of the faithful, and vicar of the prophet on earth, be not displeased if I acquaint your majesty once more that it is time to rise, for day appears.

You are very troublesome and importunate, replied Abon Hassan, rubbing his eyes: I am not the commander of the faithful, but Abon Hassan; I know it well, and you shall not persuade me otherwise. We do not know that Abon Hassan your majesty speaks of, nor desire to know him, answered the lady; but we know you to be commander of the believers, and you cannot persuade us to the contrary.

Abon Hasan looking about and finding himself in the same hall, attributed all he saw and heard to such a dream as he had before, and very much feared the dreadful consequences. God have mercy on me! said he, lifting up his hands and eyes, like a man who knew not where he was; I commit myself into his hands. I cannot doubt, after what I have seen, but that the devil, who came into my chamber, possesses me, and fills my imagination full of all these visions.

The caliph, who saw him all the time, and heard these acclamations, began laughing so heartily, that he had much ado to forbear bursting into loud laughter.

Abon Hassan laying himself down again, and shutting his eyes, the same lady again said, Commander of the faithful, since your majesty does not rise, after we have, according to our duty, informed you it was day, and the despatch of business requires your presence, we shall use the liberty you give us in such cases. Then taking him by one arm, and calling to one of the other ladies to do the same by the other, they lifted him up, and carried him into the middle of the hall, where they set him on his breech, and taking all hands, danced and skipped round him while the music played and rattled in his ears.

Abon Hassan was in an inexpressible perplexity of mind, and said, What! am I indeed caliph, and commander of the faithful? And in the uncertainty he was in, would have said something more, but the music was so loud, that he could not be heard. At last he made a sign to String of Pearls and Morning Star, two of the ladies who were dancing, that he wanted to speak with them; upon which they forbore, and went to him. Do not lie now, said he, but tell me truly who I am?

Commander of the faithful, replied Morning Star, your majesty means either to surprise us, by asking this question, as if you did not know that you are commander of the faithful, and the vicar on earth of the prophet of God, master of both worlds, that whereon we now are and that to come after death, or else you must have had some very extraordinary dream to-night, which has made you forget who you are; which may very well be, considering that your majesty has slept longer to-night than ordinary: however, if you will give me leave, I will refresh your memory with what passed yesterday. Then she told him how he went to the council, punished the iman, and the four old men, and sent a present by his grand vizier of a thousand pieces of gold to the mother of one Abon Hassan; what he did in the inner part of the palace, and what passed at the three meals which he took in the three halls, and how in the fourth your majesty did us the honour to make us sit down by you, to hear our songs, and receive wine from our hands, until your majesty fell so fast asleep, as Strength of Hearts has told you. From that time your majesty has continued, contrary to custom, in a sound sleep until now. --Strength of Hearts, all your other slaves, and the officers present, can confirm what I say, and it is now time you should go to prayers.

Very well, replied Abon Hassan, shaking his head, you would have me believe all this; but I tell you, you are all fools, or mad, and that is a great pity, for you are very pretty. Since I saw you I have been at home, where I used my mother so ill that they sent me to a mad-house, and kept me there three weeks against my will, and beat me every day with a bull’s pizzle, and yet you would make me believe all this to be a dream. Commander of the faithful, answered Morning Star, you are mistaken; we are all ready to swear by all that your majesty holds most dear that all you tell is a dream. You never stirred out of this hall since yesterday, but slept here all night long.

The confidence with which the lady assured Abon Hassan that all she said was truth, and that he had never been out of the hall since that time, made him not know what to believe, but bewildered his senses. O Heaven! said he to himself, am I Abon Hassan, or the commander of the faithful? Almighty God, enlighten my understanding, and inform me of the truth, that I may know what to trust to. Then he uncovered his shoulders, and shewed the ladies the livid weals of the blows he had received. Look, said he; judge whether these strokes could come to me in a dream, or when I was asleep. For my part, I can affirm, that they were real blows; I feel the smart of them yet, and that is a testimonial there is no room to doubt of. Now if I received these strokes in my sleep, it is the most extraordinary thing in the world, and surpasses my comprehension.

In this uncertainty Abon Hassan called to one of the officers that stood round him: Come hither, said he, and bite the tip of my ear, that I may know whether I am asleep or awake. The officer obeyed him, and bit so hard that he made him cry out horridly; the music struck up at the same time, and the officers and ladies all began to sing, dance, and skip about Abon Hassan, and made such a noise, that he was in perfect enthusiasm, and played a thousand merry tricks. He tore off his caliph’s habit, threw off his turban, and jumped up in his shirt and drawers, and taking hold of two of the ladies’ hands, fell a dancing and singing and jumping and cutting capers, that the caliph could not contain himself, but burst into such violent laughter at this sudden pleasantry of Abon Hassan, that he fell backwards, and made a greater noise than all the musicians together. He was so long before he could check himself, that it had like to have hurt him. At last he got up, and opened the lattice, and putting out his head, cried out, Abon Hassan, Abon Hassan, have you a mind to kill me with laughing?

As soon as the caliph’s voice was heard, every body was silent, and Abon Hassan, among the rest, who, turning his head to see from whence the voice came, knew the caliph, and the Moussol merchant, but was not in the least dashed; on the contrary, he found that he was awake, and all that had happened to him was matter of fact, and not a dream. He entered into the caliph’s pleasantry and intention. Ha! ha! said he, looking at him with good assurance, you are a merchant of Moussol, and complain that I would kill you; you have been the occasion of my using my mother so ill, and being sent to a mad-house. It was you who treated the iman and the four scheiks in the manner they were used, and not me; I wash my hands of it. It was you who have been the cause of all my disorders and sufferings: in short, you are the aggressor, and I the injured person.

Indeed, you are in the right of it, Abon Hassan, answered the caliph, laughing all the while; but to comfort you, and make you amends for all your troubles, I call Heaven to witness, I am ready and willing to make you what reparation you please to ask. After these words, he came out of the closet into the hall, and ordered one of his most magnificent habits to be brought, and commanded the ladies to dress Abon Hassan in it; and when they had done so, he said, embracing him, Thou art my brother; ask what thou wilt, and thou shalt have it.

Commander of the faithful, replied Abon Hassan, I beg of your majesty to do me the favour to tell me what you did to disturb my brain in this manner, and what was your design; for it is a thing of the greatest importance for me to know, that I may perfectly recover my senses.

The caliph was ready to give him that satisfaction, and said, First you are to know, that I often disguise myself, and particularly at night, to observe if all goes right in Bagdad; and as I wish to know what passes in its environs, I set apart the first day of every month to make a tour about it, sometimes on one side, and sometimes on another, and always return by the bridge. The evening that you invited me to supper, I had been taking my rounds, and in our conversation you told me, that the only thing you wished for was to be caliph for four-and-twenty hours, to punish the iman of your mosque and his four counsellors. I fancied that this desire of yours would afford me a great deal of diversion, and thought immediately how I might procure you that satisfaction. I had about me a certain powder, which immediately throws the person who takes it into a sound sleep for a certain time. I put a dose of it, without being perceived by you, into the last glass I presented you, upon which you fell fast asleep, and I ordered my slave to carry you to my palace, and came away without shutting the door. I have no occasion to repeat what happened at my palace when you awaked, and during the whole day till evening; but after you had been regaled by my orders, one of the slaves who waited on you put another dose of the same powder at night into a glass she gave you; you fell asleep as before, and the same slave carried you home, and left the door open. You have told me all that happened to you afterwards. I never imagined that you could have suffered so much as you have done. But as I have a great regard for you, I will do every thing to comfort you, and make you forget all your sufferings; think of what I can do to please you, and ask me boldly what you wish.

Commander of the faithful, replied Abon Hassan, how great soever my tortures may have been, they are all blotted out of my remembrance, as soon as I understand my sovereign lord and master had any share in them. I doubt not in the least of your majesty’s bounty; but as interest never governed me, and you give me liberty to ask a favour, I beg that it may be that of having access to your person, to have the happiness of admiring, all my lifetime, your grandeur.

This last proof of disinterestedness in Abon Hassan completed the esteem the caliph had entertained for him. I am pleased with your request, said the caliph, and grant you free access to my person at all times and all hours. At the same time, he assigned him an apartment in the palace, and, in regard to his pension, told him that he would not have him apply to his treasurer, but come always to him for an order upon him; and immediately ordered his private treasurer to give him a purse containing a thousand pieces of gold. Abon Hassan made a low bow; and the caliph left him to go to council.

Abon Hassan took this opportunity to go and inform his mother of his good fortune, and what had happened, which he told her was not a dream; for that he had actually been caliph, and had acted as such, and received all the honours, and that she had no reason to doubt it, since he had it confirmed by the caliph himself.

It was not long before this story of Abon Hassan was spread over Bagdad, and carried into all the provinces both far and near, without the omission of a single circumstance.

The new favourite, Abon Hassan, was always with the caliph; for, as he was a man of a pleasant temper, and created mirth wherever he went by his wit and pleasantry, the caliph could not live without him. He formed no party of diversion without him, and sometimes carried him along with him to see his consort Zobiede, to whom he had told his story, which so highly pleased him, as it did Zobiede; who observed that every time he came with the caliph, he had his eyes always fixed upon one of her slaves, called Nouzhatoul-aouadat, (which is to say, _renewed pleasure_,) and resolved to tell the caliph of it. Commander of the faithful, said that princess one day, you do not observe so well as I, that every time Abon Hassan attends you in your visits to me, he never keeps his eyes off Nouzhatoul-aouadat, and makes her blush, which is almost a certain sign that she entertains no aversion for him. If you approve of it, we will make a match between them.

Madam, replied the caliph, you put me in mind of a thing which I ought to have done before now. I know Abon Hassan’s opinion respecting marriage from himself, and have always promised him a wife that should please him. I am glad you mentioned it; for I know not now I came to forget it. But it is better that Abon Hassan should follow his own inclination, and choose for himself; and if Nouzhatoul-aouadat is not averse to it, we ought not to hesitate upon their marriage; and since they are both present, they have only to say that they consent.

Abon Hassan threw himself at the caliph’s and Zobeide’s feet to show the sense he had of their goodness to him; and, rising up, said, I cannot receive a wife from better hands, but dare not hope that Nouzhatoul-aouadat will give me her hand as readily as I give her mine. At these words he looked upon the princess’s slave, who showed by her respectful silence, and the sudden blush that arose in her cheeks, that she was disposed to obey the caliph and her mistress Zobiede.

The marriage was solemnized, and the nuptials celebrated in the palace with great rejoicings, which lasted several days. Zobeide, in pleasure to the caliph, made her slave considerable presents, and the caliph did the same to Abon Hassan. The bride was conducted to the apartment the caliph had assigned Abon Hassan, who waited for her with all the impatience of a bridegroom, and received her with the sound of all sorts of instruments, and musicians of both sexes, who made the air echo again with their concert.

After these feasts and rejoicings, which lasted several days, the new married couple were left to pursue their loves in peace. --Abon Hassan and his spouse were charmed with each other, and lived together in perfect union, and seldom were asunder, but when either he paid his respects to the caliph, or she to Zobeide. Indeed, Nouzhatoul-aouadat was endued with every qualification capable of gaining Abon Hassan’s love and attachment, and was just such a wife as he described to the caliph, and fit to sit at the head of his table. With these dispositions they could not fail to pass their lives agreeably. They kept a good table, covered with the nicest and choicest rarities in season, by an excellent cook, who took upon him to provide every thing. Their sideboard was always stored with exquisite wines, placed within their reach when at table, where they enjoyed themselves in an agreeable tete-a-tete, and afterwards entertained each other with some pleasantry or other, which made them laugh more or less, as they had in the day met with something to divert them; and in the evenings, which they consecrated to mirth, they had generally some slight repast of dried sweetmeats, choice fruits, and cakes; and at each glass invited each other by new songs to drink, and sometimes accompanied their voices with a lute, or other instruments, which they could both touch.

Abon Hassan and Nouzhatoul-aouadat led this pleasant life a long time, unattentive to expense, when the caterer, who disbursed all the money for these expenses, brought them in a long bill, in hope of having an advance of money. They found it, too late, to be so considerable a sum, including the wedding clothes and jewels for the bride, that all the presents that the caliph and the princess Zobiede had given them at their marriage were but just enough to pay him. This made them reflect seriously on what was passed, which, however, was no remedy for the present evil. But they agreed to pay the caterer; and having sent for him, paid him all they owed him, without considering the difficulty they would be in immediately after.

The caterer went away very well pleased to receive so large a sum of ready money, though Abon Hassan and his wife were not so well satisfied with seeing the bottom of their purse, but remained a long time silent, and very much embarrassed to find themselves reduced to that condition the very first year of their marriage. Abon Hassan remembered that the caliph, when he took him into the palace, promised never to let him want any thing; but when he considered how prodigal he had been of his money in so short a time, he was unwilling to expose himself to the shame of letting the caliph know the ill use he had made of what he had given him, and that he wanted more. Besides, he had made over his patrimony to his mother, as soon as the caliph received him near his person, and was afraid to go to her, lest she should find that he had returned to the same extravagance he had been guilty of after his father’s death. His wife, on the other hand, looked upon Zobeide’s generosity, and the liberty she had given her to marry, as more than a sufficient recompense for her service, and thought she had not a right to ask more.

Abon Hassan at last broke silence, and, looking upon his wife, said, I see you are in the same embarrassment as myself, and are thinking what we must do in this unhappy juncture, when our money fails us so unexpectedly. I do not know what your sentiments may be, but mine are, let what will happen, not to retrench our expenses in the least; and I believe you will come into my opinion. The point is, how to support them without stooping to ask the caliph or Zobeide; and I think I have fallen on the means; but we must both assist each other.