Part 28

Agib, astonished at what Bedreddin said, replied thus: There is an excess in the kindness you express, and unless you engage, under oath, not to follow me when I go from hence, I will not enter into your house. If you give me your promise, and prove a man of your word, I will visit you again to-morrow, since the vizier, my grandfather, is still employed in buying up things for a present to the sultan of Egypt. My little lord, replied Bedreddin, I will do whatever you would have me to do. This said, Agib and the eunuch went into the shop.

Presently after, Bedreddin set before them a cream tart that was full as good as what they had eaten of when they saw him before. Come, said Agib, addressing himself to Bedreddin, sit down by me, and eat with us. Bedreddin sat down, and made offers to embrace Agib, as a testimony of the joy he conceived upon his sitting by him. But Agib shoved him off, desiring him to be quiet, not to be too familiar in his friendship, and to content himself with seeing and conversing with him. Bedreddin obeyed, and fell to singing a song, the words of which he composed off-hand, in praise of Agib. He did not eat, but made it his business to serve his guests. When they had done eating, he brought them water to wash with, [65] and a very white napkin to wipe their hands. Then he filled a large china cup with sherbet, and put snow into it; [66] and offering it to Agib, This, said he, is sherbet of roses, and the pleasantest you will meet with all the town over; I am sure you never tasted better. Agib having drank of it with pleasure, Bedreddin Hassan took the cup from him, and presented it to the eunuch, who drank it all off at once.

In fine, Agib and his governor having fared well, returned thanks to the pastrycook for their good entertainment, and moved homewards, it being then late. When they arrived at the tents of Schemseddin Mohammed, they repaired immediately to the lady’s tent. Agib’s grandmother received him with transports of joy: her son, Bedreddin, ran always in her mind, and in embracing Agib, the remembrance of him drew tears from her eyes. Ah! my child said she, my joy would be perfect if I had the pleasure of embracing your father, Bedreddin Hassan, as I now embrace you. Then sitting down to supper, she made Agib sit by her, and put several questions to him, relating to the walk he had been taking along with the eunuch; and when he complained of his weak stomach, she gave him a piece of cream tart, which she had made for herself, and was indeed very good, for I told you before that she could make them better than the best pastry cooks. She likewise gave some to the eunuch; but both of them had eaten so heartily at Bedreddin’s house, that they could not taste a bit.

Agib no sooner touched the piece of cream tart that had been set before him, than he pretended he did not like it, and left it uncut; and Schaban, [67] (such was the eunuch’s name,) did the same thing. The widow of Nourreddin Ali observed with regret that her grandson did not like the tart. What! said she, does my child thus despise the work of my hands! Be it known to you, no one in the world can make such cream tarts besides myself and your father, Bedreddin Hassan, whom I myself taught to make them. My good mother, replied Agib, give me leave to tell you, if you do not know how to make better, there is a pastry-cook in this town that out-does you in that point. We were at his shop but now, and eat of one that is much better than yours.

This said, the grandmother, frowning upon the eunuch, How now, Schaban, said she, was the care of my grandchild committed to you, to carry him to eat at pastry-shops like a beggar? Madam, replied the eunuch, it is true, we did stop a little while and talked with the pastry-cook, but we did not eat with him. Pardon me, said Agib, we went into his shop, and there eat a cream tart. Upon this, the lady more incensed against the eunuch than before, rose in a passion from the table, and running to the tent of Schemseddin Mohammed, informed him of the eunuch’s crime, and that in such terms, as tended more to inflame the vizier, than to dispose him to excuse it.

Schemseddin Mohammed, who was naturally passionate, did not fail, on this occasion, to display his anger. He went forthwith to his sister-in-law’s tent, and making up to the eunuch, What! said he, you pitiful wretch, have you the impudence to abuse the trust I repose in you? Schaban, though sufficiently convicted by Agib’s testimony, denied the fact still. But the child persisting in what he had affirmed, Grandfather, said he, I can assure you we not only eat, but we eat both of us so heartily, that we have no occasion for supper; besides, the pastry-cook treated us also with a great bowl of sherbet. Well, cried Schemseddin, turning to Schaban, after all this, will you continue to deny that you entered the pastry-cook’s house, and eat there? Schaban had still the impudence to swear it was not true. Then you are a liar, said the vizier, I believe my grandchild before I believe you; but after all, said he, if you can eat up this cream tart that is upon the table, I shall be persuaded you have truth on your side.

Though Schaban had crammed himself up to the throat before, he agreed to stand that test, and accordingly took a piece of tart; but his stomach rising against it, he was obliged to spit it out of his mouth. Yet he still pursued the lie, and pretended he had over-eat himself the day before, so that he had not recovered his appetite. The vizier, irritated with all the eunuch’s frivolous pretences, and convinced of his guilt, ordered him to lie flat upon the ground, and to be soundly bastinadoed. In undergoing this punishment, the poor wretch shrieked out aloud, and at last, confessed the truth. I own, cries he, that we did eat a cream tart at the pastry-cook’s, and that it was much better than that upon the table.

The widow of Nourreddin Ali thought it was out of spite to her, and with a design to mortify her, that Schaban commended the pastry-cook’s tart: and accordingly said, I cannot believe the cook’s tarts are better than mine: I am resolved to satisfy myself upon that head. Where does he live? Go immediately, and buy me one of his tarts.

The eunuch having received of her what money was sufficient for that purpose, repaired to Bedreddin’s shop, and addressing himself to Bedreddin, Good Mr. Pastry-cook, said he, take this money here, and let me have one of your cream tarts; one of our ladies wants to taste them. Bedreddin chose one of the best, and gave it to the eunuch: Take this, said he; I will engage it is an excellent one, and I can assure you that no person is able to make the like, unless it be my mother, who perhaps is still alive.

Schaban returned speedily to the tents, and gave the tart to Nourreddin’s widow, and she, snatching it greedily, broke a piece off; but no sooner put it to her mouth, than she cried out, and swooned away. Schemseddin Mohammed, who was present, was extremely surprised at the accident: he threw water himself upon her face, and was very active in succouring her. As soon as she came to herself, My God! cried she, it must needs be my dear son, my dear Bedreddin, that made this tart.

When the vizier Schemseddin Mohammed heard his sister-in-law say, that the maker of the tart, brought by the eunuch, must needs be Bedreddin Hassan, he was overjoyed; but reflecting that his joy might prove groundless, and in all likelihood the conjecture of Nourreddin’s widow was false, Madam, said he, why are you of that mind? Do you think there may not be a pastrycook in the whole world, that knows how to make cream tarts as well us your son? --I own, replied she, there may be pastrycooks that can make as good tarts as he; but forasmuch as I make them after a peculiar manner, and nobody but my son is let into the secret, it must absolutely be he that made this. Come, my brother, added she, in a transport, let us call up mirth and joy; we have at last found what we have been so long looking for. --Madam, said the vizier in answer, I entreat you to moderate your impatience, for we shall quickly know the bottom of it. All we have to do, is to bring the pastrycook hither; and then you and my daughter will readily distinguish whether it is Bedreddin or not. But you must both be hid, so as to have a view of Bedreddin, while he cannot see you; for I would not have our interview and mutual discovery laid at Damascus. My design is to delay the discovery till we return to Cairo, where I promise to regale you with very agreeable diversion.

This said, he left the ladies in their tent, and retired to his own; where he called for fifty of his men, and said to them, Take each of you a stick in your hands, and follow Schaban, who will conduct you to a pastrycook’s in this city. When you arrive there, break and dash in pieces all you find in the shop: if he asks you why you commit that disorder, only ask him again if it was not he that made the cream tart, that was brought from his house. If he says he is the man, seize his person, fetter him, and bring him along with you; but take care you do not beat him, nor do him the least harm. Go, and lose no time.

The vizier’s orders were immediately executed. The detachment conducted by the black eunuch, went with expedition to Bedreddin’s house, and broke in pieces the plates, kettles, copper-pans, tables, and all the other moveables and utensils they met with, and drowned the sherbet-shop with cream and comfits. Bedreddin, astonished at the sight, said with a pitiful tone, Pray, good people, why do you serve me so? What is the matter? What have I done? Was it not you, said they, that sold this eunuch the cream tart? --Yes, replied he, I am the man: and who says any thing against it? I defy any one to make a better. Instead of giving him an answer, they continued to break all around them, and the oven itself was not spared.

In the mean time the neighbours took the alarm, and surprised to see fifty armed men commit such a disorder, asked the reason of such violence; and Bedreddin said once more to the actors of it, Pray tell me what crime I am guilty of, to have deserved this usage? --Was it not you, replied they, that made the cream tart you sold to the eunuch? --Yes, yes, it is I, replied he; I maintain it is a good one. I do not deserve such usage as you give me. However, without listening to him, they seized his person, and snatching the cloth off his turban, tied his hands with it behind his back, and, after dragging him by force out of his shop, marched off.

The mob gathering, and taking compassion for Bedreddin, took his part, and offered opposition to Schemseddin’s men; but that very minute up came some officers from the governor of the city, who dispersed the people, and favoured the carrying off of Bedreddin; for Schemseddin Mohammed had in the mean time gone to the governor’s house to acquaint him with what order he had given, and to demand the interposition of force to favour the execution; and the governor, who commanded all Syria in the name of the sultan of Egypt, was unwilling to refuse any thing to his master’s vizier. So Bedreddin was carried off, after all his cries and tears.

It was needless for Bedreddin Hassan to ask by the way those who carried him off, what fault had been found with his cream tart; they gave him no answer. In short, they carried him to the tents, and made him stay there till Schemseddin Mohammed returned from the governor of Damascus’s house.

Upon the vizier’s return, Bedreddin Hassan was brought before him. My lord, said Bedreddin, with tears in his eyes, pray do me the favour to let me know wherein I have displeased you. --Why, you wretch you, said the vizier, was it not you that made the cream tart you sent me? --I own I am the man, replied Bedreddin; but pray what crime is that? --I will punish you according to your deserts, said Schemseddin; it shall cost you your life, for sending me such a sorry tart. --Good God! cried Bedreddin, what news is this! Is it a capital crime to make a bad cream tart? --Yes, said the vizier, and you are to expect no other usage from me.

While this interview lasted, the ladies, who were hid, minded Bedreddin narrowly, and readily knew him, notwithstanding he had been so long absent. They were so transported with joy, that they swooned away; and, when they recovered, would fain have ran up and fallen upon Bedreddin’s neck; but the promise they had made to the vizier of not discovering themselves, restrained the tender emotions of love and of nature.

Schemseddin Mohammed, having resolved to set out that very night, ordered the tents to be struck, and the necessary preparations to be made for his journey. And as for Bedreddin, he ordered him to be clapped into a chest or box well locked, and laid on a camel. When every thing was got ready, the vizier and his retinue began their march, and travelled the rest of that night, and all the next day, without stopping. In the evening they halted, and Bedreddin was taken out of his cage, in order to be served with the necessary refreshments, but still carefully kept at a distance from his mother and his wife; and during the whole expedition, which lasted twenty days, was served in the same manner.

When they arrived at Cairo, they encamped in the neighbourhood of that place. Schemseddin called for Bedreddin, gave orders, in his presence, to a carpenter to get some wood with all expedition, and make a stake. Heyday, said Bedreddin, what do you mean to do with a stake? --Why to nail you to it, replied Schemseddin, then to have you carried through all the quarters of the town, that the people may have the spectacle of a worthless pastrycook, who makes cream tarts without pepper. This said, Bedreddin cried out so comically, that Schemseddin had enough to do to keep his countenance. Good God! cried he, must I suffer a death, as cruel as it is ignominious, for not putting pepper in a cream tart? and must I be rifled, and have all the goods in my house broken to pieces? Must I be imprisoned in a chest, and at last nailed to a stake, and all for not putting pepper in a cream tart? Good God! who ever heard of such a thing? Are these the actions of Mussulmen, of persons that make a profession of probity and justice, and practise all manner of good works? --With these words, he shed tears, and then renewing his complaint; No, continued he, never was man used so unjustly, nor so severely. Is it possible they should be capable of taking a man’s life for not putting pepper in a cream tart? Cursed be all cream tarts, as well as the hour in which I was born! --Would to God I had died that minute!

Disconsolate Bedreddin did not cease his lamentations; and when the stake was brought, and the nails to fasten him to it, he cried out bitterly at the horrid sight. Heaven! said he, can you suffer me to die an ignominious and painful death? And all this, for what crime? not for robbery or murder, or renouncing my religion, but for not putting pepper in a cream tart.

Night being then pretty far advanced, the vizier Schemseddin Mohammed ordered Bedreddin to be clapped up again in his cage, saying to him, Stay there till to-morrow; the day shall not be spent before I give orders for your death. Then the chest or cage was carried away and laid upon the camel that had brought it from Damascus: at the same time, all the other camels were loaded again; and the vizier mounting his horse, ordered the camel that carried his nephew to march before him, and so entered the city with all his suite. After passing through several streets, where nobody appeared, every one being in bed, he arrived at his house, where he ordered the chest to be taken down, but not opened till farther orders.

While his retinue were unlading the other camels, he took Bedreddin’s mother and his daughter aside, and addressed himself to the latter: God be praised, said he, my child, for this happy occasion of meeting your cousin and your husband. You remember, to be sure, what order your chamber was in on your wedding-night: go and put every thing in the very same order they were then in; and in the mean time, if your memory do not serve you, I can supply it by a written account, which I caused to be taken upon that occasion: as for what else is to be done, I will take care of that.

The beautiful lady went joyfully about her father’s orders; and he at the same time, began to put the things in the hall in the same order they were in when Bedreddin Hassan was there with the sultan of Egypt’s hunch backed groom. As he went over his manuscript, his domestics placed every moveable accordingly. The throne was not forgot, nor the lighted wax candles. When every thing was put to rights in the hall, the vizier went into his daughter’s chamber, and put in their due place Bedreddin’s clothes, with the purse of sequins. This done, he said to the beautiful lady, Undress yourself, my child, and go to bed. As soon as Bedreddin enters your room, complain of his being from you so long, and tell him, that when you awaked you were astonished you did not find him by you. Press him to come to bed again; and to-morrow morning you will divert your mother-in-law and me, in telling us what passes between you and him this night. This said, he went from his daughter’s apartment, and left her to undress herself and go to bed.

Schemseddin Mohammed ordered all his domestics to depart the hall, excepting two or three, whom he ordered to stay there. These he commanded to go and take Bedreddin out of the chest, to strip him to his shirt and drawers, to conduct him in that condition to the hall, to leave him there all alone, and to shut the door upon him.

Bedreddin Hassan, though overwhelmed with grief, had been asleep all the while, insomuch that the vizier’s domestics had taken him out of the chest, and stripped him before he awaked, and carried him so suddenly into the hall, that they did not give him time to bethink himself where he was. When he found himself all alone in the hall, he looked round him, and the objects of his sight recalling to memory the circumstances of his marriage, he perceived, with astonishment, that it was the same hall where he had seen the sultan’s groom of the stables. His surprise was still the greater, when approaching softly to the door of a chamber which he found open, he spied within his own clothes in the same place where he remembered to have left them on his wedding-night. My God! said he, rubbing his eyes, am I asleep or awake?

The beautiful lady, who in the mean time was diverting herself with his astonishment, opened the curtains of her bed all on a sudden, and bending her head forward, My dear lord, said she, with a soft, tender air, what do you do at the door? Prithee come to bed again! You have been out of bed a long time. I was strangely surprised when I awaked in not finding you by me. Bedreddin Hassan’s countenance changed when he perceived that the lady who spoke to him was that charming person that he had lain with before: so he entered the room, but calling up the thoughts of all that had passed for a ten years’ interval, and not being able to persuade himself that it all could have happened in the compass of one night, he went to the place where his clothes lay, and the purse of sequins, and after examining them very carefully, By the living God, cried he, these are things that I can by no means comprehend! The lady, who was pleased to see his confusion, said, once more, My lord, come to bed again; what do you stand at? Then he stepped towards the bed, and said to her, Pray; madam, tell me, is it long since I left you? --The question, answered she, surprises me. Did not you rise from me but now? Sure your thoughts are very busy. --Madam, replied Bedreddin, I do assure you my thoughts are not very composed. I remember indeed to have been with you, but I remember, at the same time, that I have lived since ten years at Damascus. Now, if I was actually in bed with you this night, I cannot have been with you so long. These two things are inconsistent. Pray tell me what I am to think; whether my marriage with you is an illusion, or whether my absence from you is only a dream? --Yes, my lord, cried she, doubtless, you were light-headed when you thought you were at Damascus. Upon this, Bedreddin laughed out heartily, and said, What a comical fancy is this! I assure you, madam, this dream will be very pleasant to you. Do but imagine, if you please, that I was at the gate of Damascus in my shirt and drawers, as I am here now, that I entered the town with a halloo of a mob that followed and insulted me; that I fled to a pastry cook’s, who adopted me, taught me his trade, and left me all he had when he died; that after his death, I kept a shop. In fine, madam, I had an infinity of other adventures too tedious to recount: and all I can say, is, that it was well that I awaked, for they were going to nail me to a stake. --Oh lord! and for what, cried the lady, feigning astonishment, would they have used you so cruelly? Sure you must have committed some enormous crime. --Not in the least, replied Bedreddin; it was for nothing in the world but a mere trifle, the most ridiculous thing you can think of. All the crime I was charged with was selling a cream tart that had no pepper in it. --As for that matter, said the beautiful lady, laughing heartily, I must say they did you great injustice. --Ah! madam, replied he, that was not all. For this cursed cream tart, was every thing in my shop broke to pieces, myself bound and fettered, and flung into a chest, where I lay so close, that methinks I am there still. In fine, a carpenter was sent for, and he was ordered to get ready a stake for me; but thanks be to God, all those things are no more than a dream.

Bedreddin was not easy all night; he waked from time to time, and put the question to himself, whether he dreamed or was awake: he distrusted his felicity, and to be sure whether it was true or not, opened the curtains, and looked round the room. I am not mistaken, sure, said he, this is the same chamber where I entered instead of the hunch-backed groom of the stables, and I am now in bed with the fair lady that was designed for him. Daylight, which then appeared, had not yet dispelled his uneasiness, when the vizier Schemseddin Mohammed, his uncle, knocked at the door, and at the same time went in to bid him good-morrow.