Part 26

This very day, the sultan sent for one of his grooms who is hump-backed, big-bellied, crook-legged, and as ugly as a hobgoblin; and after having commanded Schemseddin Mohammed to consent to marry his daughter to this ghastly slave, he caused the contract to be made and signed by witnesses in his own presence. The preparations for this fantastical wedding are all ready, and this very moment all the slaves belonging to the lords of the court of Egypt are waiting at the door of a bath, each with a flambeau in his hand, for the crook-backed groom, who is bathing himself, to go along with them to his bride, who is already dressed to receive him; and when I departed from Cairo, the ladies met for that purpose were going to conduct her in her nuptial attire to the hall, where she is to receive her hump-backed bridegroom, and is this minute now expecting him. I have seen her, and do assure you, that no person can look upon her without admiration.

When the fairy left off speaking, the genie said to her, Whatever you think or say, I cannot be persuaded that the girl’s beauty exceeds that of this young man. I will not dispute it with you, answered the fairy; for I must confess he deserves to be married to that charming creature which they design for hump-back. And I think it were a deed worthy of us to obstruct the sultan of Egypt’s injustice, and to put this young gentleman in the room of the slave. --You are in the right, answered the genie; I am extremely obliged to you for so good a thought, let us deceive him. I consent to your revenge upon the sultan of Egypt; let us comfort a distressed father, and make his daughter as happy as she thinks herself miserable. I will no my utmost endeavour to make this project succeed, and I am persuaded you will not be backward. I will be at the pains to carry him to Cairo before he awake, and afterwards leave it to your care to carry him elsewhere, when we have accomplished our design.

The fairy and the genie having thus concerted what they had to do, the genie lifted up Bedreddin Hassan gently, and with an inconceivable swiftness carried him through the air, and set him down at the door of a public house, next to the bath, whence hump-back was to come with the train of slaves that waited for him. Bedreddin Hassan awaked that very moment, and was mightily surprised to find himself in the middle of a city he knew not. He was going to cry out, and to ask where he was; but the genie touched him gently on the shoulder, and forbid him to speak a word. Then he put a torch in his hand, and bid him go and mix with the crowd at the door of the bath --follow them till you come into a hall, where they are going to celebrate a marriage. The bridegroom is a hump-backed fellow, and by that you will easily know him. Put yourself at the right hand as you go in, and then immediately open the purse of sequins you have in your bosom, and distribute them among the musicians and dancers as they go along; and when you are got into the hall, give money also to the female slaves you see about the bride, when they come near you; but every time you put your hand in your purse, be sure to take out a whole handful, and do not spare them. Observe to do every thing exactly as I have told you, with great presence of mind; be not afraid of any person or thing, and leave the rest to a superior power, who will order matters as he thinks fit.

Young Bedreddin being well instructed in all that he was to do, advanced towards the door of the bath; the first thing he did was to light his torch as that of a slave; and then mixing among them as if he belonged to some nobleman of Cairo, he marched along as they did, and followed hump-back, who came out of the bath, and mounted a horse out of the sultan’s own stable.

Bedreddin Hassan coming near to the musicians, and men and women dancers, who went just before the bridegroom, pulled out time after time whole handfuls of sequins, which he distributed among them; and as he thus gave his money with an unparalleled grace and engaging mien, all who received it cast their eyes upon him; and after they had a full view of his face, they found him so handsome and comely, that they could not look off again.

At last they came to Schemseddin Mohammed’s gate, who was Bedreddin Hassan’s uncle, and little thought his nephew was so near. The doorkeepers, to prevent any disorder, kept back all the slaves that carried torches, and would not let them come in. Bedreddin was likewise refused; but the musicians, who had free entrance, stood still, and protested they would not go in, if they hindered him from going along with them. He is not one of the slaves, said they: look upon him, and you will soon be satisfied as to that. He is certainly a young stranger who is curious to see the ceremonies observed at weddings in this city; and saying thus, they put him in the midst of them, and carried him in, whether the porters would or no; they took his torch out of his hand, and gave it to the first they met: having brought him into the hall, they placed him at the right hand of the hump-backed bridegroom, who sat near the vizier’s daughter on a throne most richly adorned.

She appeared very lovely in all her dresses, but in her face there was nothing to be seen but vexation and mortal grief. The cause of this was easy to be guessed at, when she had by her side a bridegroom so very deformed; and so unworthy of her love. The throne of that ill matched couple was in the midst of a sofa. The ladies of the emirs, viziers, and those of the sultan’s bedchamber, and several other ladies of the court and city, were placed on each side, a little lower, every one according to their quality, and all of them so finely and richly dressed, that it was one of the pleasantest sights that could be seen, each of them holding a large wax taper in their hand.

When they saw Bedreddin Hassan come into the room, they all fixed their eyes upon him, and admiring his shape, his behaviour, and the beauty of his face, they could not forbear looking upon him. When he was set down, every one left their seats and came near to him to have a full view of his face, and almost all of them, as they turned to their seats, found themselves moved with tender passion.

The disparity between Bedreddin Hassan and the hump-backed groom, who made such a horrible figure, occasioned a great murmuring among the company, insomuch that the ladies cried out, We must give our bride to this handsome young gentleman, and not to this ugly hump-back. Nor did they rest here, but uttered imprecations against the sultan, who, abusing his absolute power, would unite ugliness and beauty together. They did also upbraid the bridegroom, so as they put him quite out of countenance, to the great satisfaction of the spectators, whose shouts for some time put a stop to the concert of music in the hall. At last, the musicians began again, and the women who had dressed the bride came all about her.

At the sound of the instruments, the bride changed her dress seven different times, and each time that she did so, she rose up from her seat, followed by her bride-woman, and passed by hump-back, without giving him one look, and went towards Bedreddin Hassan, before whom she presented herself in her new attire. On this occasion, Bedreddin, according to the instructions given him by the genie, failed not to put his hands in his purse, and pulled out handfuls of sequins, which he distributed among the women that followed the bride. Nor did he forget the players and dancers, but also threw money to them. It was pleasant to see how they pushed one another to gather it up. They showed themselves very thankful, and made him signs that the young bride should be for him, and not for the hump-back fellow. The women that attended her, told her the same thing, and did not value whether the groom heard them or not; for they put a thousand tricks upon him, which very much pleased the spectators.

When the ceremony of changing habits was passed, the music ceased and went away, but made a sign to Bedreddin Hassan to stay behind. The ladies did the same, and went all home, but those that belonged to the house. The bride went into a closet, whither her woman followed to undress her, and none remained in the hall but the hump-back groom, Bedreddin Hassan, and some of the domestics.

Hump-back, who was furiously mad at Bedreddin, suspecting him to be his rival, gave him a cross look, and said, And thou, what dost thou wait for? Why art thou not gone as well as the rest? Begone. Bedreddin having no pretence to stay, withdrew, not knowing what to do with himself. But he was not gone out of the porch, when the genie and the fairy met and stopped him. Whither are you going? said the fairy; stay, for hump-back is not in the hall, he is gone out about some business; you have nothing to do but return, and introduce yourself into the bride’s chamber. As soon as you are alone with her, tell her boldly that you are her husband, that the sultan’s intention was only to make sport with the groom; and to make this pretended bridegroom some amends, you had caused to be prepared for him in the stable, a good dish of cream. And then tell her all the fine things you can think on to persuade her; for being so handsome as you are, little persuasion will do; she will think herself happy in being deceived so agreeably. In the mean time, we will take care that the hump-back shall not return, and let nothing hinder you from passing the night with your bride, for she is yours, and none of his.

While the fairy thus encouraged Bedreddin, and instructed him how he should behave himself, hump-back was really gone out of the room: for the genie went to him in the shape of a great cat mewing at a most fearful rate. The fellow called to the cat, he clapped his hands to make her flee; but instead of that the cat stood upon her hinder feet, staring with her eyes like fire, looking fiercely at him, mewing louder than she did at first, and growing bigger till she was as large as an ass. At this sight, hump-back would have cried out for help, but his fear was so great, that he stood gaping, and could not utter one word; and that he might have no time to recover, the genie changed himself immediately into a large buffalo, and in this shape, called to him with a voice that redoubled his fear, Thou hump-backed villain! At these words, the affrighted groom cast himself upon the ground, and covering his face with his gown, that he might not see this dreadful beast, Sovereign prince of buffaloes, said he, what is it you want of me? --Wo be to thee, replied the genie; hast thou the boldness to venture to marry my mistress? O my lord, said hump-back, I pray you to pardon me; if I am guilty, it is through ignorance; I did not know that this lady had a buffalo to her sweetheart; command me in any thing you please, I give you my oath that I am ready to obey you. --By death, replied the genie, if thou goest out from hence, or speakest a word till the sun rises, I will crush thy head to pieces; but then I give thee leave to go from hence: I warn thee to make despatch, and not to look back, but if thou hast the imprudence to return, it shall cost thee thy life. When the genie had done speaking, he transformed himself into the shape of a man, took hump-back by the legs, and after having set him against the wall, with his head downwards, if thou stir, said he, before the sun rise, as I have told thee already, I will take thee by the heels again, and dash thy head in a thousand pieces against the wall.

To return to Bedreddin Hassan, who being prompted by the genie and the presence of the fairy, got into the hall again, from whence he slipt into the bride-chamber, where he sat down, expecting the success of his adventure. After a while, the bride arrived, conducted by an old matron, who came no farther than the door, exhorting the bridegroom to do his duty like a man, without looking in to see if it was hump-back or another, and then locked the door, and retired.

The young bride was mightily surprised, instead of hump-back, to find Bedreddin Hassan, who came up to her with the best grace in the world. What! my dear friend, said she, by your being here at this time of night, you must be my husband’s comrade? --No, madam, said Bedreddin, I am of another sort of quality than that ugly hump-back. But, said she, you do not consider that you speak degradingly of my husband. --He your husband, madam! replied he; can you retain those thoughts so long? Be convinced of your mistake, madam, for so much beauty must never be sacrificed to the most contemptible of all mankind. It is I, madam, that am the happy mortal for whom it is reserved. The sultan had a mind to make himself merry by putting this trick upon the vizier your father, but he chose me to be your real husband. You might have observed how the ladies, the musicians, the dancers, your women, and all the servants of your family, were pleased with this comedy. We have sent that hump-backed fellow to his stable again, where he is just now eating a dish of cream; and you may rest assured that he will never appear any more before your eyes.

At this discourse, the vizier’s daughter, who was more like one dead than alive when she came into the bride-chamber, put on a gay air, which made her so handsome that Bedreddin was perfectly charmed with her.

I did not expect, said she, to meet with so pleasing a surprise; and I had condemned myself to live unhappily all my days. But my good fortune is so much the greater that I possess in you a man that is worthy of my tenderest affection.

Having spoken thus, she undressed herself and stept into bed. Bedreddin Hassan, overjoyed to see himself possessor of so many charms, made haste to follow her, and laid his clothes upon a chair, with the bag that he got from the Jew; which, notwithstanding all the money he had pulled out, was still full. He likewise laid off his turban, and put on a night-cap that had been ordained for hump-back, and so went to bed in his shirt and drawers. [60] His drawers were of blue satin, tied with a lace of gold.

Whilst the two lovers were asleep, the genie, who had met again with the fairy, told her that it was high time to finish what was begun, and so successfully carried on hitherto: then let us not be overtaken by daylight, which will soon appear; go you and bring off the young man again without awaking him.

The fairy went into the bed-chamber where the two lovers were fast asleep, and took up Bedreddin Hassan just as he was, that is to say, in his shirt and drawers; and in company with the genie, with a wonderful swiftness flew away with him to the gates of Damascus, in Syria, where they arrived just at the time when the officers of the mosques, appointed for that end, were calling the people to come to prayers at break of day. The fairy laid Bedreddin Hassan softly on the ground, and leaving him close by the gate, departed with the genie.

The gate of the city being opened, and a great many people assembled to get out, they were mightly surprised to see Bedreddin Hassan lying in his shirt and drawers upon the ground. One said, He has been hard put to it to get away from his mistress, that he could not get time to put on his clothes. --Look ye, said another, how people expose themselves: sure enough he has spent most part of the night in drinking with his friends, till he has got drunk; and then, perhaps, having occasion to go out, instead of returning, is come this length, and not having his senses about him, was overtaken with sleep. Others were of another opinion; but nobody could guess what had been the occasion of his coming thither.

A small puff of wind happening to blow at the same time, uncovered his breast, that was whiter than snow. Every one being struck with admiration at the fineness of his complexion, they spoke so loud that it awaked the young man.

His surprise was as great as theirs, when he found himself at the gate of a city where he had never been before, and encompassed by a crowd of people gazing at him. Gentlemen, said he, for God’s sake tell me where I am, and what you would have of me? One of the crowd spoke to him, saying, Young man, the gates of the city were just now opened, and as we came out we found you lying here in this condition, and stood still to look on you: Have you lain here all night? and do not you know that you are at one of the gates of Damascus? --At one of the gates of Damascus! answered Bedreddin; sure you mock me. When I lay down to sleep last night I was at Cairo. When he said these words, some of the people, moved with compassion for him, said, It is pity that such a handsome young man should have lost his senses! and so went away.

My son, said an old gentleman to him, you know not what you say. How is it possible that you, being this morning at Damascus, could be last night at Cairo? --It is true, for all that, said Bedreddin; for I swear to you, that I was all day yesterday at Balsora. He had no sooner said these words, but all the people fell into a fit of laughter, and cried out, He’s a fool, he’s a madman. There were some, however, that pitied him because of his youth; and one among the company said to him, My son, you must certainly be crazed; you do not consider what you say. Is it possible that a man could yesterday be at Balsora, the same night at Cairo, and next morning at Damascus? Sure you are asleep still: come, rouse up your spirits. --What I say, answered Bedreddin Hassan, is so true, that last night I was married in the city of Cairo. All those that laughed before could not forbear laughing again, when he said so. Call yourself to mind, said the same person that spoke before; you have sure enough dreamt all this, and that fancy still possesses your brain. --I am sensible of what I say, answered the young man. Pray can you tell me how it was possible for me to go in a dream to Cairo, where I am very certain I was in person, and where my bride was seven times brought before me, each time dressed in a different habit: and where I saw an ugly hump-backed follow, to whom they intended to give her? Besides, I want to know what is become of my gown, my turban, and the bag of sequins I had at Cairo.

Though he assured them that all these things were matter of fact, yet they could not forbear to laugh at him; which put him into such confusion, that he knew not what to think of all those adventures.

After Bedreddin Hassan had confidently affirmed all that he said to be true, he rose up to go into the town, and every one that followed him called out, A madman, a fool. Upon this some looked out at their windows, some came to their doors, and others joined with those that were about him, calling out as they did, A madman; but not knowing for what In this perplexity of mind the young gentleman happened to come before a pastrycook’s shop, and went into it to avoid the rabble.

This pastrycook had formerly been captain to a troop of Arabian robbers, who plundered the caravans; and though he was become a citizen of Damascus, where he behaved himself to every one’s content, yet he was dreaded by all those that knew him; wherefore, as soon as he came out to the rabble that followed Bedreddin, they dispersed.

The pastrycook seeing them all gone, asked him who he was, and what brought him thither? Bedreddin Hassan told him all, not concealing his birth, nor the death of his father, the grand vizier. He afterwards gave him an account why he left Balsora; now, after he had fallen asleep the night following upon his father’s tomb, he found himself when he awaked at Cairo, where he had married a lady; and at last, in what amazement he was, when he found himself at Damascus, without being able to penetrate into all those wonderful adventures.

Your history is one of the most surprising, said the pastrycook; but if you will follow my advice, you shall let no man know those matters you have revealed to me, but patiently expect till heaven think fit to put an end to your misfortunes; you shall be free to stay with me till then; and since I have no children, I will own you for my son, if you consent to it; and after you are so adopted, you may freely walk up and down the city, without being exposed any more to the insults of the rabble.

Though this adoption was below the son of a grand vizier, Bedreddin was glad to accept of the pastrycook’s proposals, judging it the best thing he could do, considering his then circumstances. The cook clothed him, called for witnesses, and went before a notary, where he acknowledged him for his son. After this Bedreddin staid with him by the name of Hassan, and learned the pastry trade.

Whilst this passed at Damascus, Schemseddin Mohammed’s daughter awaked, and finding Bedreddin gone out of bed, supposed he had risen softly for fear of disturbing her, but he would soon return. As she was in expectation of him, her father, the vizier (who was mightily vexed at the affront put upon him by the sultan) came and knocked at her chamber-door with a resolution to bewail her sad destiny. He called her by her name, and she knowing him by his voice, immediately got up, and opened the door. She kissed his hand, and received him with so much satisfaction in her countenance as surprised the vizier, (who expected to find her drowned in tears, and as much grieved as himself.) Unhappy wretch! said he in a passion, do you appear before me thus? After the hideous sacrifice you have just consummated, can you see me with so much satisfaction?

The new bride seeing her father angry at her pleasant countenance, said to him, For God’s sake, sir, do not reproach me wrongfully; it is not the hump-back fellow, whom I abhor more than death; it is not that monster I have married; every body laughed him to scorn, and put him so out of countenance, that he was forced to run away and hide himself, to make room for a charming young gentleman, who is my real husband. --What fable do you tell me? said Schemseddin Mohammed, roughly. What! did not crook-back lie with you to-night? --No, sir, said she; it was that young gentleman I told you of, who has large eyes and black eyebrows. At these words, the vizier lost all patience, and fell into a terrible passion. --Ah! wicked woman, said he, you will make me distracted! --It is you, father, said she, that put me out of my senses by your incredulity. --So it is not true, replied the vizier, that hump-back --Let us talk no more of hump-back, said she; a curse upon hump-back! must I always have him cast in my dish? Father, said she, I tell you once more, that I did not bed with him, but with my dear spouse, who, I believe, is not very far off.

Schemseddin Mohammed went out to seek him, but instead of seeing him was mightily surprised to find hump-back with his head on the ground, and his heels uppermost, as the genie had set him against the wall. What is the meaning of this? said he; who placed you thus? Crook-back, knowing it to be the vizier, answered, Alas! alas! it is you then that would marry me to the mistress of a buffalo, the sweetheart of an ugly genie; I won’t be your fool; you shan’t put a trick upon me.

Schemseddin Mohammed, when he heard hump-back speak thus, thought he was raving, and bid him move, and stand upon his legs. I will take care how I do that, said hump-back, unless the sun be risen. --Know, sir, that when I came hither last night, on a sudden, a black cat appeared to me, and in an instant grew as big as a buffalo. I have not forgot what he said to me; therefore, you may go about your business, and leave me here. The vizier, instead of going away, took him by the heels, and made him get up. Then hump-back ran off as fast as he could, without looking behind him; and coming to the palace, presented himself to the sultan, who laughed heartily when he told him the story how the genie had served him.