Chapter 5

Six months after her husband's death, she was removed, in an invalid carriage, to the residence of her eldest son in Essex, whose house continued to be her home the remainder of her days. In writing to a much beloved friend, from this quiet retreat soon after her arrival, she remarks,--"Every comfort and every indulgence is allotted to me by my attentive children. Oh what boundless demands upon my gratitude are thus poured forth. I would gladly hope not without a heartfelt acknowledgment to that Almighty Giver, who is the author of all our manifold mercies. For all things I reverently thank my God and Saviour, remembering you my dear friends, whom I have left, with the truest affection." To the same friend, who herself was suffering from illness, she again writes, "Oh, dearest ---, how many of His dear children does the Lord keep long in the furnace, yet if he do but grant his presence there, and watch over the refining process he designs to be accomplished, there ought to be no complaining either of the length of time, or the severity of the operation, but through all, the full fruits of resignation should be brought forth in perfection, to his praise, and his glory. That so it may be, my dear friend, forms a wish on my own account as well as on thine, day by day. The time has appeared long to me, that I have been required to lay under the rod, but when we measure time as did the Apostle of old, and think of it as a vapour that quickly passeth away, or as a shadow that abideth not, we see that it is but for a little moment that our chastening can endure. I cannot forbear beholding my day as far spent; but I do rejoice to see heaven as a place of rest for me,--yes, even for me! through the blood shed for my sins on Calvary's Mount. This mercy in Christ Jesus, how precious it is to dwell upon."

Alice Waller loved the company of all those that loved the Lord Jesus, and especially the messengers of the gospel were acceptable to her. On one occasion when receiving a visit from a friend, whilst laid upon her bed of suffering, she, in great contrition, expressed her sense of her heavenly Father's love and mercy to _her_, a poor creature, adding, "I feel bound to tell of His marvellous goodness to me, even to me, by night and by day upon my bed, in seasons of trial I have been comforted by my Saviour's presence."

In the beginning of the Sixth Month, 1850, she became more poorly, and both herself and her children were impressed with the belief that her end was drawing near; on the 15th she passed a very trying day, but in the evening revived a little and spoke most sweetly of the fulness and clearness of her hope, and her perfect confidence in the love and mercy of her God, extended to her for the sake of her beloved Saviour; she was full of sweetness and affection to all around her, her heart overflowing with gratitude to God and man. "Dear Hannah C. Backhouse," she remarked, "visited me a short time before I came here, and she said, 'I believe Jesus has thrown his arm of everlasting love around thee, and is drawing thee nearer and nearer to himself, and he will draw thee nearer and nearer, till at last He will press thee into his bosom.' It was a sweet message; I have often thought upon it since, and I now feel such close union of spirit with God, that I cannot doubt it is even so." On the passage of Scripture being repeated, "The angel of the Lord encampeth round about them that fear him," she added, "yes, and preserveth them.--'This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him and delivered him from all his troubles.' The fear of the Lord has been my support for many years past." And on being reminded of that verse of Scripture, "Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me," she said, "He has been my staff and my rod in the dark valley of death, keeping my head above the waters, and he has given me hope full of immortality,--full of immortality! and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord for ever; I humbly trust that such will be my portion." She then remarked "It is just a week to-day since I began to be so very ill;--strange conflict of the body, with the mind so perfectly tranquil, in strong confirmation of the blessed promise, 'Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee.'--I have often thought I heard the song of Moses and of the Lamb, as I lay here in deep exhaustion." At another time she remarked, "I have often sinned, and erred much, but I have One in heaven that pleadeth for me."

She hailed with much joy the arrival of a beloved friend, and spoke of the event as filling up the only remaining desire she had on earth; their meeting was a season of mutual love and thanksgiving to the Lord. On Second day, the 24th, she said, "I am so loosed from every thing below, as I could not have believed;" and in the evening expressed that she was so filled with thankfulness her heart was overflowing! She intimated her belief, when her room was made ready for the night, that it would be the last she should have to pass, and the next morning it became evident that she was rapidly sinking. It was said to her that it was a long and trying travel, but she was near to a better land! when she quickly responded, "Yes, Emanuel's land:" and on its being remarked, "The crown is nearly won;" she emphatically replied, "Oh, I wish it were on!" A short time after this, her redeemed spirit was gently liberated from the shackles of mortality, to be, we humbly believe, "for ever with the Lord."

FANNY MARTIN WALLER, _Guildford_. Daughter of the late Thomas Waller. 30 12mo. 14 1849

EDWARD WALLIS, _Melksham_. Son of Abraham Wallis, of London. 26 3mo. 6 1850

JOHN WALTON, _Southport_. 61 1mo. 7 1850

ALFRED WATKINS, _Eydon_, _Northamptonshire_. Son of John and Susanna Watkins. 16 4mo. 22 1850

JANE WATSON, _Allonby_, _Cumberland_. 85 10mo. 20 1849

FERGUS WATSON, _Allonby_. 90 1mo. 21 1850

ANN WATSON, _Heworth_, _Newcastle-on-Tyne_. Wife of John Watson. 72 12mo. 6 1849

MARY WATSON, _Cockermouth_. 64 10mo 18 1849

LUCY BELL WESTWOOD, _Brampton_, _Hunts_. Daughter of John and Elizabeth Westwood. 17 3mo. 19 1850

JOSEPH WHEELER, _Birmingham_. 81 11mo. 21 1849

THOMAS WHITE, _Ratcliff_, _London_. 80 3mo. 7 1850

JANE WHITE, _Chesham_, _Bucks_. 41 1mo. 2 1850

MARIA BELLA WHITE, _Henley-on-Thames_. Widow of Gabriel G. White. 84 8mo. 17 1850

ANNE WHITFIELD, _near Coothill_, _Ireland_. 85 3mo. 12 1850

RICHARD WHITING, _Tottenham_. 84 7mo. 3 1850

ANNE WHITTEN, _Roscrea_, _Ireland_. Widow. 72 3mo. 24 1850

MAUDLIN WICKETT, _Darlington_. Widow of Benjamin Wickett. 94 11mo. 15 1849

WILLIAM WILLIAMS, _Denbigh_, _Cheshire_. 70 11mo. 2 1849

WILLIAM WILSON, _Bradford_. 82 11mo. 23 1849

The following account has much of it been taken from a brief memoir of William Wilson, which appeared in the "Bradford Observer," and which has since been published as a tract.

William Wilson might truly be said to be "an Israelite indeed, in whom there was no guile." He had his _peculiarities_ of character, but with all, was _singularly good_, and we cannot doubt that his prayers and his alms, had come up for a memorial before Him, who seeth in secret.

At the age of fifty, with an ample fortune, he relinquished a business, in which he had most diligently laboured, when the full tide of prosperity was flowing in upon him, in order that he might devote his time, and the means placed by Providence at his disposal, to the cause of neglected and suffering humanity.

For more than thirty years it became the essential and exclusive employment of his life, to explore and to relieve cases of poverty and distress, and in the accomplishment of this undertaking, he employed the same assiduity and care, which he had been wont to exercise in the management of his secular calling, distributing many times at the rate of a thousand pounds a year.

As a steward of the gifts of God, he carefully invested his money so as to secure a fair rate of interest, and on no occasion did he relax from the utmost exactness in his monetary dealings; and yet it is believed that his personal and domestic expenditure never reached 150 pounds per annum.

His house, like his person, was a pattern of plainness and simplicity. His furniture consisted of nothing fashionable or superfluous; and his table was equally marked by comfort and frugality.

He was a warm advocate in the cause of Temperance, and was deeply interested in the subject of "the prevention of Cruelty to Animals."

Of Tracts, he must have paid for, and circulated gratuitously, some millions! His whole time and energies were fully employed, and often heavily taxed, in devising and carrying out schemes of mercy and benevolence, and his life presented one uniform tenor of consistent piety. To strangers he might appear reserved, but his apparent reserve only resulted from his constitutional modesty, and retiring habits, whilst to those who enjoyed his friendship, he was frank, open, and intelligent in no ordinary degree.

William Wilson was never robust, but toward the close of his life, his feebleness became more apparent; for more than a week he was confined to his bed, but without any urgent symptom of disease. His mind was calm and peaceful,--he knew and loved his Saviour, and through His mediation, we cannot doubt he has inherited the blessing to the pure in heart, leaving behind him, in many respects, an example worthy to be followed, practically bearing a noble testimony to "christian moderation and temperance in all things," and against that covetousness which is idolatry. The memory of such a man is blessed.

ELIZABETH WILSON, _Rawden_. 69 4mo. 12 1850

MARY WILSON, _Kendal_. Widow. 60 1mo. 31 1850

JAMES WILSON, _Elm Farm_, _Liverpool_. 76 10mo. 31 1849

ELIZABETH WOOD, _Chelmsford_. 68 1mo. 17 1850

JANE WOOD, _Highflatts_. Wife of John Wood. 28 4mo. 4 1850

FRANCIS WRIGHT, _Kettering_. 76 5mo. 13 1850

THOMAS WRIGHT, _Cork_. 61 10mo. 9 1849

Many, both within the limits of our own Society and out of it, can bear testimony to the integrity, benevolence, and Christian deportment of this dear friend. In his transactions with his fellow-men, he was particularly careful not to over-reach, or to avail himself of advantages subversive to their interests; and in the social circle, as well as among the poor, his kindness of disposition was conspicuous. During the scarcity of provision in Ireland, his liberality was great, and his exertions on behalf of the destitute almost unremitting.

His illness commenced in the early part of the 9th month, 1849, and on finding that the complaint did not yield to remedies, he expressed his earnest desire for resignation to the divine will, remarking, that whatever might be the termination, he believed "all would be well." He intimated, that he had not been one who could give much expression to his religious feelings, but that for many years his mind had been daily exercised before the Lord on his own behalf, as well as on that of his family. The prosperity of our religious Society lay very near to his heart, and he expressed his earnest desire for its preservation in "humility and simplicity."

The patience with which he bore the debility attendant upon his complaint was remarkable; His mind expanded in love to his family, his friends, and to all the world, repeating emphatically, "I love them all."

He frequently spoke of his willingness to depart; and as his illness advanced, there appeared an increasing sweetness and solemnity in his manner, and he mostly addressed those about him in terms of affection, expressing his thankfulness for their attention, and desiring that the Lord would strengthen them. On a hope being expressed that his mind was peaceful, he replied, "Yes, quite so." He took an affectionate leave of his wife and those around him; after which nature rapidly sank, and he quietly, and it is humbly believed, peacefully expired.

ELIZA WRIGHT, _Sutton_, _Cambridgeshire_. Daughter of Thomas and Mary Wright. 7 9mo. 8 1850

THOMAS WEIGHT, _Sutton_. 49 9mo. 16 1850

HENRY WRIGHT, _Middlesboro_. 30 9mo. 10 1849

JOHN FULLER YOUELL, _Yarmouth_. 28 12mo. 1 1849

INFANTS whose names are not inserted.

Under one month . . . Boys 1 . . . Girls 1

From one to three months . . . do. 2 . . . do. 3

From three to six months . . . do. 1 . . . do. 3

From six to twelve months . . . do. 1 . . . do. 1

HANNAH CHAPMAN BACKHOUSE.

_Died_ 6_th of_ 5_th month_, 1850.

Hannah Chapman Backhouse was the daughter of Joseph and Jane Gurney; she was born at Norwich the 9th of 2nd Month, 1787. Of her very early life she has left but little record. She disliked study, and was fond of boyish sports, until about the age of thirteen, when she began to feel enjoyment in reading.

Possessed of a naturally powerful and energetic mind, with talents of a very superior order, she soon began to take great delight in study, and was ambitious to excel in every thing that she undertook. Drawing she pursued with intense eagerness, and in this and other acquirements, she made great proficiency. Until about the age of seventeen, her highest enjoyment was derived from the cultivation of the intellectual powers, and in the endeavour to raise these to their highest perfection, she imagined the greatest happiness to consist. In her journal she writes:--"My thoughts have been this week, one continued castle in the air of being an artist; the only reality they were built on, was my having painted in oils better than I thought I could, and a feeling that I shall in a little time succeed, and an unbounded ambition to do so. I have had many arguments with myself, to know if it would be right. I think it would, if I could make good use of it."

But gradually she found that no object which had this world for its limit, could satisfy the cravings of an immortal soul. She began to feel that she was formed for higher purposes than the gratification of self in its most refined and plausible form, and in 1806, we note the gradual unfolding of that change of view, which through the operation of the Holy Spirit, led her to the unreserved surrender of her whole being to the service of her Lord;--a surrender that in so remarkable a manner marked her unwavering path through the remaining portion of her dedicated life. Speaking of this period, after her first attendance of the Yearly Meeting, she says,--

July, 1806. "This time, for almost the first in my life, I seem come to a stand in the objects of my darling pursuits, which I may say have been almost entirely the pursuit of pleasure, through the medium of the understanding. This I feel must be a useless search, for the further I go, the more unattainable is the contentment which I hoped a degree of excellence might have produced;--the further I go, the further does my idea of perfection extend; therefore this way of attaining happiness I find is impossible. Never in my life was I so sensible of the real weakness of man, though to all appearance so strong; for I am persuaded that it is almost impossible to conduct oneself through this world, without being sincerely religious. The human mind must have an object, and let that object be the attainment of eternal happiness. * * * After such considerations, can I be so weak as not to make religion my only pursuit? That which will, I believe, bring my mind into beautiful order, and, rendering all worldly objects subservient to its use, harmonize the whole, and fit it to bear fruit to all eternity, and the fruit of righteousness is peace. I have felt my mind very much softened of late, and more and more see the beauty of holiness, but all the progress I can say that I have made towards it, is in loving it more;--yet I feel I have a great way to go before my heart is entirely given up."

Feb. 9th, 1807. "To-day I am twenty; let me endeavour to describe with sincerity what twenty years have effected upon me; how difficult self- love and blindness make answering the questions, What am I? How far am I advanced in the great end of being, the making such use of my time here, that it may bear fruit when time with me is over? When I look upon myself with the greatest seriousness, how ill do I think of myself! I see myself endowed with powers, which I often, (I hope, with a pure and unfeigned heart,) wish may be applied aright. But in my mind, what strong 'bulls of Bashan' compass me about! What I fear most, and that which sometimes comes upon me most awfully, is, that my will is not properly brought into subjection. * * * Often when clothed with something of heavenly love, do I feel that I had rather be a door-keeper in the house of my God, than dwell in king's palaces, but I fear the general tendency of my pursuits would make me more fit for the latter than the former. What I want and do most sincerely wish for, is, that I may be truly humble, and that where pride now reigns, humility may prevail; and where ambition, contentment."

In 1808, the death of a favourite first cousin appears to have been the means of greatly deepening her serious impressions, and of increasing the desire to "relieve herself," as she expresses it, "from the miserable state of inconsistency in which a gay Friend is situated." A short time subsequent to this period, she writes:--

May, 1808. "With my father and mother I left the Grove this morning, with a mind much softened, though not afflicted by parting with those I love, earnestly wishing that what I was going to attend,--the Yearly Meeting, might stamp more deeply the impressions I had received. We reached Epping that night. I felt very serious; Love seemed to have smitten me, and under that banner, I earnestly hoped that I might be enabled to partake of whatever might be set before me in the banqueting house. I saw that it would be right for me to say _thee_, and _thou_, to everybody, and I begged that I might be so kept in love as to be enabled to do it,--that love might draw me, not fear terrify me."

"How deeply I felt to enjoy First-day, and was strengthened at meeting. For the first time, to-day I called the days of the week numerically, on principle, it cost me at first a blush. This day has afforded me deeper and sweeter feelings than any I have yet passed; surprise and ridicule I have felt to be useful!"

"Left Bury Hill early: I can look back to the time I have spent here as the happiest in my life; and I have earnestly wished that my example and influence in future life, may be useful to those whom, never before my mind was so altered, did I love with so sweet or so great an affection."

After alluding to some further change, she writes; "I felt increasingly the weight of advocating the cause I have engaged in; oh! may no word or action of mine, stain the character I am assuming, and may no self-exaltation be the consequence: the mind, I feel, must be kept deep indeed, to avoid the rocks that do every where surround."

6th Month, 1808. "Went to meeting--thought that by observing the commandment, and confessing Christ before men, we should only be showing the beautiful effect of obedience, in the fruit of the Spirit it produces,--that it does not consist in speech, dress, or behaviour, but that by being obedient in these and all things, to the law written in our hearts; we should be overshadowed by that sweetness and quietness of spirit, the fruits of which would prove whose government we are under."

7th Month, 1808, Cromer. "Walked on the shore, the sky was illuminated by the setting sun the scene was of nature's greatest beauty, I could not speak, but it was not the effect of the scene. Such scenes in which I used to revel, have lost much of their influence in the inferior peace they bring, to that which a few small sacrifices, the effect of obedience, produce."

Grove, 11th Month, 1808. "Patience tried, and censoriousness of mind and some words allowed to have too much dominion. The higher we rise, the more we feel the foibles of others; and then the more need have we of the spirit of love and charity, to be patient with them; and if we are not, it is not excellence, but only the sight of it we have gained."

12th Month, 1808. "I fear I have not sufficiently this week, wrestled for the blessing of peace. I am sensible of having the power of pleasing, of having stronger natural powers and more acquirements than most women,--I am conscious too, of having with all my might, sought that which is highest, and that my heart has been made willing to sacrifice all for the attainment of it, and wonders have I already known; if I do not now diligently seek that which can make me feelingly ascribe all the glory, where alone it is due, fruitless must all my talents be, and great my fall."

12th Month, 12th, 1808. "--- came, the conversation in the evening, softened my heart in the deduction I drew from it, of what a prize was our possession,--how anchorless the world seemed to be,--and I loved dear Friends!"

2nd Month, 9th, 1809. "Twenty-two years old. Through the mercy of everlasting kindness, great is the change that this year has wrought in me; the power of Love has enticed me to begin that spiritual journey which leads to the promised land: I have left, by His guidance and strength, the bondage of Egypt, and have seen His wonders in the deep. May the endeavour of my life be, to keep close to that Angel, who can deliver us through the trials and dangers of the wilderness of this world.

I have not studied much this year, yet I have almost every day read a little, and never was my sight so clear into the intellectual world. The works of the head may, I believe, usefully occupy such portions of time as are not necessary for discharging our relationship in society. * * * But above all things be humble, which a love of all perfection is, I believe, not only consistent with, but the root of."

In 1811, Hannah C. Gurney married Jonathan Backhouse, and settled at Darlington. The early years of her married life appear to have been much devoted to her young family. For a time, her journal was entirely suspended; but in 1815 she writes: "These last four years, are perhaps best left in that situation, in which spiritual darkness has in a great measure involved them; it may be the sweet and new objects of external love, and necessary attention in which I have been engaged, have too much drawn my mind from internal watchfulness, after the first flow of spiritual joy began to subside; or it has been the will of the Author of all blessing to change the dispensation, and taking from me the light of his love, in which all beauty so easily and naturally exists, to teach me indeed, that the glory of all good belongs to Him alone, and that He is jealous of our decking ourselves with His jewels."

In 1820, she first spoke as a minister, in reference to which she writes: 3rd Month, 1820, "Had felt for some time, and particularly lately, a warm concern for the interest of our family, which to my humiliation, surprise, and consolation, I was strengthened to express to them in a private opportunity, before I left Sunderland. On our ride home, I felt the candle of the Lord shine round about me, in a manner I had not done for years, accompanied with much tenderness and some foreboding fears. I felt I had put my hand to the plough, and I must not turn back, but I remembered the days that were past, and I knew something of the power of Him in whom I had believed; though fear often compassed me about, and too much imagination."