The American Diary of a Japanese Girl
Part 3
The Japanese theatre never begins without three rappings of time-honoured wooden blocks.
I knocked on the pitcher.
Miss Ada appeared from the dressing room, fluttering an open fan.
How ridiculously she stepped!
It was the way Miss What’s-her-name acted in “The Geisha,” she said.
She was much taller than little me. The kimono scarcely reached to her shoes. I have never seen such an absurd show in my life.
I was tittering.
The charming Ada fanned and giggled incessantly in supposed-to-be Japanese _chic_.
“What have I to say, Morning Glory?” she said, looking up.
“I don’t know, dear girl!” I jerked.
Then we both laughed.
Ada caught my neck by her arm. She squandered her kisses on me.
(It was my first taste of the kiss.)
We two young ladies in wanton garments rolled down happily on the floor.
2nd—If I could be a gentleman for just one day!
I would rest myself on the hospitable chair of a barber shop—barber shop, drug store and candy store are three beauties on the street—like a prince of leisure, and dream something great, while the man is busy with a razor.
I am envious of the gentleman who may bathe in such a purple hour.
I never rest.
American ladies neither!
Each one of them looks worried as if she expected the door-bell any moment.
I suppose it is the penalty of being a woman.
3rd—My little heart was flooded with patriotism.
It is our Mikado’s birthday.
I sang “The Age of Our Sovereign.” I shouted “Ten thousand years! Banzai! Ban banzai!”
My uncle and I hurried to the Japanese Consulate to celebrate this grand day.
4th—The gentlemen of San Francisco are gallant.
They never permit the ladies—even a black servant is in the honourable list of “ladies”—to stand in the car.
If Oriental gentlemen could demean themselves like that for just one day!
I should not mind a bit if one proposed to me even.
I love a handsome face.
They part their hair in the middle. They have inherited no bad habit of biting their finger-nails. I suppose they offer a grace before each meal. Their smile isn’t sardonic, and their laughter is open.
I have no dispute with their mustaches and their blue eyes. But I am far from being an admirer of their red faces.
Japs are pygmies. I fear that the Americans are too tall. My future husband is not allowed to be over five feet five inches. His nose should be of the cast of Robert Stevenson’s.
Each one of them carries a high look. He may be the President at the next election, he seems to say. How mean that only one head is in demand!
A directory and a dictionary are kind. The ’Merican husband is like them, I imagine.
I have no gentleman friend yet.
To pace alone on the street is a melancholy discarded sight.
What do you do if your shoe-string comes untied?
I have seen a gentleman fingering the shoestrings of a lady. How glad he was to serve again, when she said, “That’s too tight!”
Shall my uncle fill such a part?
Poor uncle!
Old company, however, isn’t style.
He is forty-five.
Why can I not choose one to hire from among the “bully” young men loitering around a cigar-stand?
5th—My uncle was going out in a black frock-coat and tea-coloured trousers. I insisted that his coat and trousers didn’t match.
How can a man be so ridiculous?
I declared that it was as poor taste as for a darkey to wear a red ribbon in her smoky hair.
Uncle surrendered.
He said, “Hei, hei, hei!”
Goo’ boy!
He dismissed the great tea-colour.
6th—We had a shower.
The city dipped in a bath.
The pedestrians threw their vaguely delicate shadows on the pavements. The ladies voluntarily permitted the gentlemen to review their legs. If I were in command, I would not permit the ladies to raise an umbrella under the “para para” of a shower. Their hastening figures are so fascinating.
The shower stopped. The pavements were glossed like a looking-glass. The windows facing the sun scattered their sparkling laughter.
How beautiful!
I am perfectly delighted by this city.
One thing that disappoints me, however, is that Frisco is eternally snowless,
Without snow the year is incomplete, like a departure without sayonara.
Dear snow! O Yuki San!
Many Winters ago I modelled a doll of snow, which was supposed to be a gentleman.
How proud I used to be when I stamped the first mark with my high ashida on the white ground before anyone else!
I wonder how Santa Claus will array himself to call on this town.
His fur coat is not appropriate at all.
7th—Why didn’t I come to Amerikey earlier—in the Summer season?
I was staring sadly at my purple parasol against the wall by my dresser.
I have no chance to show it.
I have often been told that I look so beautiful under it.
8th—My darling O Ada came in a carriage. Her two-horsed carriage was like that of our Japanese premier.
She is the daughter of a banker.
The sun shone in yellow.
Ada’s complexion added a brilliancy. I was shocked, fearing that I looked awfully brown.
Ada said that I was “perfectly lovely.” Can I trust a woman’s eulogy?
I myself often use flattery.
A jewel and face-powder were not the only things, I said, essential to woman.
We drove to the Golden Gate Park and then to the Cliff House.
What a triumphant sound the hoofs of the bay horses struck! I fancied the horses were a poet, they were rhyming.
I don’t like the automobile.
Ada was sweet as could be.
“Tell me your honourable love story!” she chattered.
I did only blush.
I hadn’t the courage to burst my secrecy.
I loved once truly.
It was an innocent love as from a fairy book.
If true love could be realised!
In the park I noticed a lady who scissored the “don’t touch” flowers and stepped away with a saintly air. The comical fancy came to me that she was the mother of a policeman guarding against intruders.
We found ourselves in the Japanese tea garden.
A tiny musume in wooden clogs brought us an honourable tea and o’senbe.
The grounds were an imitation of Japanese landscape gardening.
Homesickness ran through my fibre.
The decorative bridge, a stork by the brook, and the dwarf plants hinted to me of my home garden.
A sudden vibration of shamisen was flung from the Japanese cottage close by.
“Tenu, tenu! Tenu, tsunn shann!”
Who was the player?
When I sat myself by the ocean on the beach I found some packages of peanuts right before me.
The beautiful Ada began to snap them.
She hummed a jaunty ditty. Her head inclined pathetically against my shoulder. My hair, stirred by the sea zephyrs, patted her cheek.
She said the song was “My Gal’s a High-Born Lady.”
Who was its author? Emerson did not write it surely.
* * * * *
When I returned to the hotel, I undertook to place on the wall the weather-torn fragment of cotton which I had picked up at the park.
These words were printed on it:
“KEEP OFF THE GRASS.”
I decided to mail it to my Japan, requesting my daddy to post it upon my garden grasses—somewhere by the old cherry tree.
9th—To-day is the third anniversary of my grandmother’s death.
I will keep myself in devotion.
I burned the incense I had bought from a Chinaman. I watched the beautiful gesticulation of its smoke.
Good Grandma!
She wished she could live long enough to be present at my wedding ceremony. She prayed that she might select the marriage equipage for me.
I am alone yet.
I wonder if she knows—does her ghost peep from the grasses?—that I am drifting among the ijins she ever loathed.
I don’t see how to manage myself sometimes—like an unskilful fictionist with his heroine.
When shall I get married?
10th—I yawned.
Nothing is more unbecoming to a woman than yawning.
I think it no offence to swear once in a while in one’s closet.
I was alone.
I tore to pieces my “Things Seen in the Street,” and fed the waste-paper basket with them.
The basket looked so hungry without any rubbish. An unkept basket is more pleasing, like a soiled autograph-book.
“I didn’t come to Amerikey to be critical, that is, to act mean, did I?” I said.
I must remain an Oriental girl, like a cherry blossom smiling softly in the Spring moonlight.
But afterwards I felt sorry for my destruction.
I thrust my hand into the basket. I plucked them up. They were illegibly as follows:
“ women coursing like a ’rikisha of ’Hama their children crying at home left somewhere their womanliness gentleman with stove-pipe hat blowing nose with his fingers young lady kept busy chewing gum while walking. If you once show such a grace at Tokio, you shall wait fruitlessly for the marriage offer. “ old grandma in gay red skirt aged man arm-in-arm with wife so young What a martyrdom to marry for G-O-L-D! policeman has no
“San Francisco is a beautiful city, but ’vertisements of ‘The Girl From Paris’ W——d’s Beer with the watches hanging on their breasts God bless you, red necktie gentleman woman at the corner chattering like a street politician.”
And I missed some other hundred lines.
11th—A letter from the minister arrived.
(I’d be a postman, by the way, if I were a man. A noble work that is to deliver around the love and “gokigen ukagai.”)
I clipped off the Mexican stamp.
I will make a stamp book for my boy who may be born when I become a wife.
Before opening the letter I pressed it to my ear. My imaginative ear heard his illustrious “Ha, ha, ha——” rolling out.
How I missed his happy laughter!
Can he now pronounce a “How do?” in Mexican?
12th—It surprises me to learn that many an American is born and dies in a hotel.
Such a life—however large rooms you may possess—is not distinguishable, in my opinion, from that of a bird in a cage.
Is hotel-living a recent fashion?
Don’t say so!
The business locality—like the place where this Palace Hotel takes its seat—does not afford a stomachful of respectable air.
I preferred some hospitable boarding house in a quiet street, where I might even step up and down in nude feet. I wished to occupy a chamber where the morning sun could steal in and shake my sleepy little head with golden fingers as my beloved mama might do.
We will move to the “high-toned” boarding house of Mrs. Willis this afternoon.
Her house is placed on the high hill of California Street.
I am grateful there is no car quaking along there.
My uncle says I shall have a whole lot of millionaires for neighbours.
California must be one dignified street.
The Chinese colony is close at hand from Mrs. Willis’,—the exotic exposition brilliant with green and yellow colour. The incense surges. So cute is the sparrow-eyed Asiatic girl—such a “karako”—with a small cue on only one side of the head. Dear Oriental town!
Good luck, I pray, my Palace Hotel!
Sayonara, my graceful butlers!
I shall hear no more of their sweet “Yes, Madam!” They talk gently as a lottery-seller.
The more they bow and smile the more you will press the button of tips.
They are so funny.
So long, everybody!
13th—The savour of the air is rich without being heavy.
The Tokio atmosphere emits a lassitude.
It’s natural that the Japs are prone to languor.
A good while ago I pushed down my window facing the Bay of San Francisco. I leaned on the sill, my face propped up by both my hands.
The grand scenery absorbed my whole soul.
“Ideal place, isn’t it?” I emphasised.
The bay was dyed in profound blue.
The Oakland boat joggled on happily as from a fairy isle. My visionary eyes caught the heavenly flock of seagulls around it.
If I could fly in their company!
The low mountains over the bay looked inexpressively comfortable, like one sleeping under a warm blanket.
The moon-night view from here must be wonderful.
I felt a new stream of blood beginning to swell within my body.
I buzzed a silly song.
I crept into my uncle’s room.
I stole one stalk of his cigarettes.
I bit it, aping Mr. Uncle, when my door banged.
14th—I bustled back to my room.
My breast throbbed.
A naked woman in an oil painting stood before me in the hall.
Is Mrs. Willis a lady worthy of respect?
It is nothing but an insulting stroke to an Oriental lady—yes sir, I’m a lady—to expose such an obscenity.
I brought down one of my crape haoris, raven-black in hue, with blushing maple leaves dispersed on the sleeves, and cloaked the honourable picture.
My haori wasn’t long enough.
The feet of the nude woman were all seen.
I have not the least objection to the undraped feet. They were faultless in shape.
I myself am free to bestow a glimpse of my beautiful feet.
I turned the key of my door.
I stripped off my shoes and my stockings also.
Dear red silken stockings!
I scrutinised my feet for a while. Then I asked myself:
“Which is lovelier, my feet or those in the painting?”
15th—I couldn’t rest last night.
The long wail of a horn somewhere in the distance—at the gate of the ocean perhaps—haunted me. The night was foggy.
I had a wild dream.
The fogs were not withdrawn this morning.
I was discouraged, I had to go out in my best gown.
Wasn’t it a shame that two buttons jumped out when I hurried to dress up?
“Are the buttons secure?” is my first worry and the last.
Why don’t Meriken inventors take up the subject of buttonless clothes?
Woman cannot be easy while her dress is fastened by only buttons.
16th—I wish I could pay my bill with a bank check.
Have I money in the bank with my name?
I fancied it a great idea to sleep with a big bank book under the pillow.
I decided to save my money hereafter.
How often have I expressed my hatred of an economical woman!
I detested the clinking “charin charan” of small coins in my purse. Very hard I tried to get from them.
Extravagance is a folly. Folly is only a mild expression for crime.
I deducted ten dollars from the fifty that I had settled for my new street gown. I dropped a card notifying my ladies’ tailor that I had altered my mind for the second price.
“Ten already for the bank!” I said.
I took it to the “Yokohama Shokin Ginko” of this city.
I was given a little book for the first time in my life.
I thought myself quite a wealthy woman preserving my money in the bank.
I pressed the book to my face. I held it close to my bosom as a tiny girl with a new doll.
And I smiled into a looking-glass.
17th—I went to the gallery of the photographer Taber, and posed in Nippon “pera pera.”
The photographer spread before me many pictures of the actress in the part of “Geisha.”
She was absurd.
I cannot comprehend where ’Mericans get the conception that Jap girls are eternally smiling puppets.
Are we crazy to smile without motive?
What an untidy presence!
She didn’t even fasten the front of her kimono.
Charm doesn’t walk together with disorder under the same Japanese parasol.
And I had the honour to be presented to an extraordinary mode in her hair.
It might be entitled “ghost style.” It suggested an apparition in the “Botan Toro” played by kikugoro.
The photographer handed me a fan.
Alas! It was a Chinese fan in a crude mixture of colour.
He urged me to carry it.
I declined, saying:
“Nobody fans in cool November!”
18th—We had a laugh.
Ada, my sweet singer of “My Gal’s a High-Born Lady,” accompanied me to a matinée of one vaudeville.
This is the age of quick turn, sudden flashes.
The long show has ceased to be the fashion. Modern people are tired of the slowness of old times which was once supposed to be seriousness.
Could anything be prouder than the face of the acrobat retiring after a perilous performance?
Woman tumbler!
I wondered how Meriken ladies could enjoy looking at such a degeneration of woman.
I was glad, however, that I did not see any snake-charmer.
What a delightful voice that negro had! Who could imagine that such a silvery sound could come from such a midnight face? It was like clear water out of the ground.
I was struck by a fancy.
I sprang up.
I attempted to imitate the high-kick dance.
I fell down abruptly.
“Jap’s short leg is no use in Amerikey—can’t achieve one thing. I am frankly tired of mine,” I grumbled.
19th—The Sunday chime was the voice of an angel. The city turned religious.
Mrs. Willis—I had no curiosity about her first name; it is meaningless for the “Mrs.” of middle age—indulged in chat with me.
If I say she was “sociable”?—it sounds so graceful.
She announced herself a bigot of poetry. She was bending to make a full poetical demonstration.
Of course it was more pleasing than a mourning-gowned narrative of her lamented husband. (I suppose he is dead, as divorce is too commonplace.)
But it were treachery, if I were put under her long recital of the insignificant works of local poets.
Tasukatta wa!
A little girl came as a relief.
Dorothy! She is a boarder of Mrs. Willis’, the golden-haired daughter of Mrs. Browning.
(Mrs. Browning was a disappointment, however. I fancied she might be a relative of the poet Browning. I asked about it. Her response was an unsympathetic “No!”)
“O’ hayo!” Dorothy said, spattering over me her familiarity.
It takes only an hour to be friends with the Meriken girl, while it is the work of a year with a Japanese musume.
“Great girl! Your Nippon language is perfect! Would you like to learn more?” I said.
“I’d like it,” was her retort.
Then we slipped to my room.
I wonder how Mrs. Willis fared without an audience!
I was sorry, thinking that she might regard me as an uncivil Jap.
“Chon kina! Chon kina!”
Thus Dorothy repeated. It was a Japanese song, she said, which the geisha girls sung in “The Geisha.”
Tat, tat, tat, stop, Dorothy!
Truly it was the opening sound—not the words—of a nonsensical song.
I presume that “The Geisha” is practising a plenteous injustice to Dai Nippon.
I recalled one Meriken consul who jolted out that same song once at a party.
He became no more a gentleman to me after that.
20th—I pasted my little card on my door.
I wrote on it “Japanese Lessons Given.”
I gazed at it.
I was exceedingly happy.
21st—A gardener came to fix our lawn.
There is nothing lovelier than verdant grasses trimmed neatly. They are like the short skirt of the Meriken little girl.
We women could be angels, I thought, if our speech lapped justly. Women talk superfluously. I do often.
What language did that gardener use?
It must be the English of Carlyle, I said, for its meaning was intangible.
I discovered, by and by, that German English was his honourable choice.
My eyes could express more than my English uttered in Nippon voice. My gestures helped to make my meaning plain.
He became my friend.
He carried a red square of cotton to wipe his mouth, like the furoshiki in which a Japanese country “O’ ba san” wraps her New Year’s present.
And again as he was leaving I saw a red thing around his neck.
Was it not the same furoshiki which served for his nose?
It wouldn’t be a bad idea to play amateur gardener.
The season wasn’t fitting for such a performance, however.
A large summer hat! That was the customary attire.
But my light-hearted straw one with its laughing bouquet was not adapted to November, however gorgeously the sun might shine.
And it’s sheer stupidity to track after a tradition.
I wound a large flapping piece of black crape about my head. (How awfully becoming the garb of a Catholic nun would be! I do not know what is dear, if it is not the rosary. A writhing rope around the waist is celestial carelessness.)
I appeared on the lawn, but without a sprinkler and rake. It would have been too theatrical to carry them.
I gathered the small stones from amid the grasses into a wheelbarrow near by.
Just as my new enterprise was beginning to seem so delightful, the luncheon gong gonged.
My uncle goggled from the hall, and said:
“Where have you been? I was afraid you had eloped.”
“I’ve no chance yet to meet a boy,” I spoke in an undertone.
Afterward I was ashamed that I had been so awkwardly sincere.
22nd—There was one thing that I wanted to test.
My uncle went out. I understood that he would not be back for some hours.
I found myself in his room, pulling out his drawer.
“Isn’t it elegant?” I exclaimed, picking up his dress-suit.
At last I had an opportunity to examine how I would look in a tapering coat.
Gentleman’s suit is fascinating.
“Where is his silk hat?” I said.
I reached up my arms to the top shelf of a closet, standing on the chair.
The door swung open.
Tamageta! My liver was crushed by the alarm.
A chambermaid threw her suspicious smile at me.
Alas!
My adventure failed.
23rd—I mean no one else but O Ada San, when I say “my sweet girl.”
She was tremendously nice, giving a tea-party in my honour.
The star actress doesn’t appear on the stage from the first of the first act. I thought I would present myself a bit later at the party, when they were tattling about my delay.
I delight in employing such little dramatic arts.
I dressed all in silk. It’s proper, of course, for a Japanese girl.
I chose cherry blossoms in preference to roses for my hat. Roses are acceptable, however, I said in my second thought, for they are given a thorn against affronters.
I went to Miss Ada’s looking my best.
They—six young ladies in a bunch—stretched out their hands. I was coaxed by their hailing smile.
Ada kissed me.
I had no charming manner in receiving a kiss before the people no more than in giving one. I blushed miserably. I knew I was bungling.
O Morning Glory, you are one century late!
They besieged me.
None of them was so pretty as Ada. Beauty is rare, I perceive, like good tweezers or ideal men.
I distributed my Japanese cards.
All of my new friends held them upside down.
Is it a modern vogue to be ignorant?
Ada played skilfully her role of hostess, which was a middle-aged part. She didn’t even spill the tea in serving. Her “Sugar? Two lumps?” sounded fit. She divided her entertaining eye-flashes among us.
Tea is the thing for afternoon, when woman is excused if she be silly.
We all undressed our too-tight coat of rhetoric in the sipping of tea.
We laughed, and laughed harder, not seeing what we were laughing at.
I couldn’t catch all of their names.
Such a delicious name as “Lily” was absurdly given to a girl with red blotches on her face.
(A few blemishes are a fascination, however, like slang thrown in the right place.)
Her flippancy was like the “buku buku” of a stream.
Lightness didn’t match with her heavy physique.
“How lovely an earthquake must be!” she chirruped. “Shall I go to Japan just on that account? A jolly moment I had last February. A baby earthquake visited here, as you know. I was drinking tea. The worst of it was that I let the cup tumble on to my pink dress. I prayed a whole week, nevertheless, to be called again.”
Woman has nothing to do with a hideous make-up. Miss Lily should not select a pink hue.
“You are awful!” I said.
I told about the horror of a certain famous Japanese earthquake. They all breathed out “Good heavens!”
There was one second of silence.
Ada struck a gushing melody on the piano.
The lively Meriken ladies prompted themselves to frisk about.
I was ready to cry in my destitution.
One girl hauled me up violently by the hand.
“Come and dance!”
Her arm crawled around my waist, while she directed:
“Right foot—now, left!”
I returned to Mrs. Willis’, my thoughts absorbed in a dancing academy.
“I must learn how to skip,” I said.
24th—I hate the alarm clock, simply because it is always so punctual.
“I was too late” is a delightful expression.
“Mrs. Willis’ breakfast is at quarter-past eight!”
Isn’t that “quarter-past” interesting?
And I can never be ready before nine.
25th—I dragged my uncle off to the Chute to enrich my store of zoology.