Part 4
I thought the fishes would be buildin nests in my ears long before I rote this. What do you suppose has happened? I wont ever be able to look you in the face again. Were right near land and aint so much as seen a Perryskope. An here I been runnin round in my Drowning Jacket for seven days like a fello wearin his shroud down to his office a week before he dies. I hope you aint bragged too much about it or theyll have the laugh on you. I feel kind of cheap but you really cant blame me. I took these other fellos word for it.
I aint the only goat thats been wearin my Drowning Jacket round though. They all had to and most of them slept in them. The tailor what designed these must have been a boiler maker once. If there vests there too short an if there coats where is the sleeves? They got a hump runnin down the backbone. I know now how a horse feels when he tries to roll over. Besides the Jackets, they made us carry round a tin bottle of water on a string all the time. I suppose if there was not enough water to drown us all we could empty out these.
Were just a few miles off shore, but I cant tell you just where. This is partly because I dont know. Joe Loomis says were comin into London, but Angus MacKenzie, the skotch fello, says it aint London. He thinks its Paris. I dont think so though cause if it was youd see the Ethel Tower.
You want to be careful when you address letters to me. If you address me too plain there liable to get to me and you cant tell who might be lookin. About all you can say on the address as far as I can find out is Bill Smith, A. E. F., which means Am Expecting Flowers.
I got to quit now cause were gettin near shore and the Sanitary Officer ast me to help him sweep out the boat when the other fellos is gone. Of course I said I would. Obligin. Thats me all over, Mable. As soon as I get ashore Im going to buy one of them John Brown belts you here so much about. I dont know when Ill be able to write to you again cause I understand theres a battle on now so I guess Ill be pretty busy for some time to come.
Yours till I rite again, _Bill_.
MABLE TO BILL
_Dearest William_:
Your letter received and contents noted. Through Spiritual Channels you have been with me ever since the momentous day we parted, and all I can say is, "May God in His infinite mercy watch over and take care of you, until you have been delivered safely into my arms."
Ever Thine, _Mable_.
P.S.--_Bill_:
Am going round with a new swell John and he writ this fer me. Itll make the fellos think Im a swell dame when you show it to them. Tear off this p. s. part. What's the matter, are you broke? You dont put no more stamps on your letters. Rite again.
Yours as long as you stay away, _Mable_.
DERE MABLE
LOVE LETTERS OF A ROOKIE By Lieut. EDWARD STREETER
The best selling book of 1918, 550,000 in 8 months. For genuine humor nothing written in recent years surpasses these letters from a "simple soldier" to his best girl. Read them--and live with the rookie through all his perplexities, through all his amusements, through all his work, live with him and laugh with him--and at him!
With 35 illustrations by Corp. "BILL" BRECK Boards, 12mo, net 75c
_The Navy "Dere Mable"_ BILTMORE OSWALD The Diary of a Hapless Recruit By J. THORNE SMITH, Jr., C.B.M., U.S.N.R.F.
This book does for the Navy fledgling what DERE MABLE does for the rookie of the Army. It is the veracious record of the haps and mishaps of a verdant land-lubber plunged into a whirl of unfamiliar duties at Pelham Bay, as told by a recruit who has been through the mill. His experience are one long riot of laughter--no one with a son or a brother or a sweetheart in the Service will want to miss it and no one who is a recruit himself can afford to miss it.
With 31 illustrations by Dick Dorgan, U.S.N.R.F. Boards, 12mo, uniform with DERE MABLE, net 75c.
Publishers FREDERICK A. STOKES COMPANY New York
READ AND LAUGH!
_Dere Mable_
LOVE LETTERS OF A ROOKIE By E. STREETER
_Written and illustrated by two men of the 27th Division while at Camp Wadsworth_
15TH PRINTING, COMPLETING 550,000
One Long Riot of Laughter
Biltmore Oswald
_The_ DIARY OF A HAPLESS RECRUIT _by_ J THORN SMITH U.S.N.R.F.
Written and illustrated by two men of the U. S. Naval Reserve Force at the Pelham Bay Training Station.