Chapter 7

PLUGG, HENRY. One time candidate for the Presidency, subsequently successful bee-farmer.

POLATA, JOSE. Professor--Spanish. Author of "From Girl to Woman," "Spanish Olives, and How," etc., etc.

POLIOLIOLI, GIUSEPPE. Author of "Women of Italy" and "Nelly of Naples," a musical comedy of the period.

PRICKLEBOTT, HARVEY. Editor of "Art in the Home" and "Mother Week by Week."

PROON, BERNARD. Well-known speaker, intimate friend of Roosevelt's brother-in-law.

PUNTER, AUGUSTUS. Seventeenth century painter, famous for "Sarah, Lady Tunnell-Penge, with Dog," "Gravesend by Night," and various crayon portraits, notably "A Merry Girl" and "The Drowsy Sentry."

ROOSEVELT, THEODORE. Man and President.

ROTEPILLAR, PETER. Friend of Henry Plugg and author and compiler of "Algebra with Many a Laugh!"

ROUSSEAU, JEAN JACQUES. French writer of some note. See Carlyle's "French Revolution."

SCHNOTTER, FRITZ. German actor, sixteenth century.

SHEEPMEADOW, EDGAR. English writer--author of "Beds and their Inmates" (18 vols.), "The Corn Chandler," "Women Large and Women Small" (10 vols.).

SODDLE, O'CALLAGHAN. Gentleman architect of the XIXth century.

SPRATT, GREAT BROWN. Indian of the period.

STOWE, HARRIET BEECHER. Author of "Uncle Tom's Cabin."

SUMPLETHOCK, EX-PRESIDENT. Spaniel trainer and "raconteur."

TADSKI, SERGE. Early, fairly. Russian. Author and compiler of the following: "Russian Realism," "Natural Mammals of the Steppes," "Flora and Fauna of Siberia," etc., and light verse.

THROTCH, ESTHER. Well-known XXth century "literateur."

TOSSELE, YVONNE, MME. First female mezzotinter of the Revolutionary Era.

TROTT, EAGLE. Mate and pal of Joshua Mortlake.

TURPIN, DICK. Highwayman--English. Inventor of straw sun hats for hot horses.

UDEY, GENERAL. Congenital idiot of the XIXth century (and very mean).

VEAUX, PAUL. Art critic--Paris.

VEIGEL, HERMAN. German poet--famous for "Twilight Fancies," "There was a Garden," and "Collected Poems, including 'The Ballad of Crazy Bertha.'"

VOLAUVENT, ARMAND. Art critic--Paris.

VOLTAIRE (Christian name unknown). Old writer--French.

WAFFLE, RAYMOND. Georgian writer. Author of "Our Dogs," "Canine Cameos," and "Pretty Rover, the Story of a Boarhound."

WEEDHEIN, H. "Columbia, Beware!" (8 vols.).

PRESS NOTICES

CLAGMOUTH CHRONICLE: "A book to be taken up and put down again."

EAST BROMLEY ADVERTISER: "This is a book!"

THE GIRLS' GLOBE: "Every young girl should read this."

_Doctor Cheval_ in ADVICE TO A MOTHER: "No bedside table is complete without 'Terribly Intimate Portraits.'"

_Joe Bogworth_ in CAPITAL AND LABOUR says: "This book is perhaps the greatest power for good or evil in democratic England or aristocratic America either, for that matter. Though obviously the work of a thinker, should it by any chance fall into the wrong hands it would go far towards undermining not only the League of Nations, but the London County Council to boot!"

_Aunt Hilda_ in FIRESIDE FUN says: "Darling chicks, get your mumsie to buy you 'Terribly Intimate Portraits' for your birthday."

_Lady Minerva Stuffe_ in UNDIES writes: "Well-dressed women will eagerly peruse these fascinating memoirs."

THE PLAYING FIELD: "'Chaps'! Read this book."

THE POLITICAL GAZETTE: "Well done, Noel Coward! Bravo, Lorn Macnaughtan!"

_Herr von Grob_ in THE AUSTRIAN TYROL: "Gott in Himmel!"

CHICKEN CHAT: "I advise keen poultry keepers to buy and read 'Terribly Intimate Portraits.'"

CRI DE PARIS: "Ce livre n'est pas seulement stupide, mais c'est excessivement irritant, et absolument sans humeur." (Translation: "This book is not only charming, but it is excessively entertaining and brilliantly humorous.")

CLAYBANK COURIER: "Once read--never forgotten."

WIGAN WORLD: "Splendid for those just learning to read."

BOXING WEEKLY: "Dam' good!"

WHAT THE AMERICAN PRESS MAY SAY:

VANITY FAIR: "A book for ladies and gentlemen."

NEW YORK TIMES: "This book treats a delicate theme in the most indelicate fashion possible."

THE DIAL: "The parabolics are unevenly balanced."

_George Jean Nathan_: "Eugene O'Neill remains our only dramatist."

LIFE: "Noel Coward's first and best book."

PAPER TRADE JOURNAL: "The sulphite used in the paper of 'Terribly Intimate Portraits' is of excellent quality."

JUDGE: "Two hundred and twelve pages."

REVIEW OF REVIEWS: "Some of it is better than the rest."

THE WORLD: "H. the 3d says that this book makes better paper dolls than any he has read for a long time."

FOOTNOTES:

[1] Famous for being the means of introducing hornless cattle into the Gironde.

[2] Nicholas Ben-Hepple declares that he married her solely on account of her "dot"!

[3] The extracts here quoted translated by Elizabeth Bottle.

[4] Lord Edmunde Budde married the notorious Gertrude Pippin: see "Family Failings," by Bloody Mary.

[5] See Norman Bramp's "Female Influence, and Why," Vol. V.

[6] It has never yet been ascertained exactly why Madcap Moll rode to Norwich, but many conjectures have been hazarded.

[7] Poliolioli contends that there were five hundred and eighty-five guests. This, I think, may be treated as a moot point.

[8] October 14th. Poliolioli contests that it was the 17th, but this, I venture to say, is even a "mooter" point than the other.

[9] Excavated B.C. 8.

[10] Periodicals:--"The Corn Chandler," by Sheepmeadow; "Sidelights on the Salic Law," Anonymous; "The Stage versus the Church," edited alternately by Nell Gwyn and the Archbishop of Canterbury.

[11] Two years before Punter's portrait.

[12] "Beds and their Inmates," Vol. III., by Edgar Sheepmeadow (18 vols).

[13] These are all in the Brighton Aquarium.

[14] At Pragg Castle, near Hull.

[15] See Sheepmeadow's "Heroines and their Diseases."

[16] Von Bottiburgen, science master at the Munich College, author and compiler of the following:--"Our Women"; "Do Actresses Mind Much?"; "Life of Fritz Schnotter."

[17] For example, "Spout the Man," 3 vols.--Richard Floop; "Jake the Climber," 7 vols.--Sholto Z. Hosper.

[18] "Fruit as a Decoration," "With Shaggy Four Legged Playmates" and "Bhuddism as Opposed to Electricity."

[19] Spanish equivalent to "tag" or "he."

[20] Bolawalla--Spanish equivalent for "mullet."

[21] Bloodworthy says: "It was her fond boast that she never hid him in the same tree twice."

[22] Bloodworthy, in telling the story, says that only one tear fell; but Bloodworthy, brilliant recorder as he was, was occasionally prejudiced.

[23] The reproduction on page 134 from the celebrated picture by Gerphipps--in oils at the National Gallery, in water colour at the Tate Gallery, and in Paripan at the Edinburgh Art Museum.

[24] The picture represents Maggie at the end of the second week.

[25] Except on one occasion. For particulars, see Boris Brattlevitch's "Women of Russia."

[26] According to Mettlethorp's "Asiatic Soldiery," Vol. VII.

[27] See Tadski's "Natural Mammals of the Steppes."

[28] During the celebrated rising in 1682.

[29] For full reference, see Dulwich Library--'buses Nos. 48 and 75 and L.C.C. trams; change at Camberwell Green.

End of Project Gutenberg's Terribly Intimate Portraits, by Noel Coward