CHAPTER XIII.

While, however, the Fates thus seemed to frown upon the aspiring attempts of Gammon towards Miss Aubrey, they smiled benignantly enough upon Titmouse, and his suit with the Lady Cecilia. The first shock over--which no lively sensibilities or strong feelings of her Ladyship tended to protract, she began to get familiar with the person, manners, and character of her future lord, and in a measure reconciled to her fate. "When people understand that they _must_ live together," said a very great man, "they learn to soften, by mutual accommodation, that yoke which they know that they cannot shake off; they become good husbands and wives, from the necessity of remaining husbands and wives, for necessity is a powerful master in teaching the duties which it imposes."[33] The serene intelligence of Lady Cecilia having satisfied her that "IT WAS HER FATE" to be married to Titmouse, she resigned herself to it tranquilly, calling in to her assistance divers co-operative reasons for the step which she had agreed to take. She could thereby accomplish at all events one darling object of her papa's--the reunion of the long and unhappily-severed family interests. Then Yatton was certainly a delightful estate to be mistress of--a charming residence, and one which she might in all probability calculate on having pretty nearly to herself. The rent-roll was large and unencumbered, and would admit of a handsome jointure. On her accession to her own independent rank, the odious name of Titmouse would disappear in the noble one of Lady Drelincourt, peeress in her own right, and representative of the oldest barony in the kingdom. Her husband would then become a mere cipher--no one would ever hear of him, or inquire after him, or think or care about him--a mere mote in the sunbeam of her own splendor. But, above all, thank Heaven! there were many ways in which a _separation_ might be brought about--never mind how soon after marriage: and a separation was becoming almost a matter of course, implying nothing derogatory to the character, or lessening to the personal consequence of the lady--who indeed was almost, as of course, recognized as an object of sympathy, rather than of suspicion or scorn. These were powerful forces, all impelling her in one direction--and irresistibly. How could it be otherwise with one like _her_--a mere creature of circumstance? Notwithstanding all this, however, there were occasions when Titmouse was presented to her in a somewhat startling and sickening aspect. It sometimes almost choked her to see him--ridiculous object!--in the company of gentlemen--to witness their treatment of him, and then reflect that he was about to become her--lord and master. One day, for instance, she accompanied the earl in the carriage to witness the hounds throw off, not far from Yatton, and where a very brilliant field was expected. There were, in fact, about two hundred of the leading gentlemen of the county assembled--and, dear reader, do try to picture to yourself the figure which Titmouse must have presented among them--his quizzing-glass screwed into his eye, and clad in his little pink and leathers!--What a _seat_ was his! How many significant and scornful smiles, and winks, and shrugs of the shoulders did his appearance occasion among his bold and high-bred companions! And only about four or five minutes after they had "gone away"--on the occasion in question, this unhappy little sinner was thoroughly found out by the noble animal he rode; and who equally well knew _his own business_, and what he had _on_! In trying to take a dwarf wall, on the opposite side of an old green horsepond by the road-side, he urged his horse with that weak and indecisive impulse which only disgusted him; so he suddenly drew back at the margin of the pond--and over head and heels flew Titmouse, descending plump on his head into the deep mud, where he remained for a moment or two, up to his shoulders, his little legs kicking about in the air--

"Who's that?" cried one--and another--and another--without stopping, any more than the Life Guards would have stopped for a sudden individual casualty in the midst of their tremendous charge at Waterloo--till the very last of them, who happened to be no less a person than Lord De la Zouch, seeing, as he came up, the desperate position of the fallen rider, reined up, dismounted, and with much effort and inconvenience aided in extricating Titmouse from his fearful yet ludicrous position--and thus fortunately preserved to society one of its brightest ornaments. As soon as he was safe---a dismal spectacle to gods and men--his preserver, not disposed, by discovering who Titmouse was, to supererogatory courtesy, mounted his horse, leaving Titmouse in the care of an old woman whose cottage was not far off, and where Titmouse, having had a good deal of the filth detached from him, remounted his horse and turned its head homewards--heartily disposed, had he but _dared_, cruelly to spur, and kick, and flog it; and in this pickle--stupid, and sullen, and crestfallen--he was overtaken and recognized by Lord Dreddlington and Lady Cecilia, returning from the field!

This was her future husband----

Then again--poor Lady Cecilia!--what thought you of the following, which was one of the letters he addressed to you?--Well might Miss Aubrey exclaim, "how I should like to see their correspondence!"

"The Albanny, Picadilly, London, 12th Oct. 18--.

"MY DEAR CECILIA,

"I take Up My pen To Inform you of Arriving safe Here, where Am sorry how^r. To say There Is No One which one knows except Tradespeople Going About and so Dull on Acc^t. of Customers Out of Town, Dearest love You Are the Girl of my Heart As I am of Your's, and am particular Lonely Alone Here and wish to be There _where she Is_ how I Long to Fold My dearest girl in My Arms hope You Don't Forget Me As soon As I am Absent do You often Think of _me_ w^h. I do indeed of _you_, and looking Forward to The Happy Days When We are United in the Happy bonds of Hymmen, never To part Again dearest I Was Driving yesterday In my New Cabb In the park, where whom Sh^d. I Meet but That Miss Aubrey W^h. they say (Between you And I and The post) is Truly in a Gallopping Consumption on Acc^t. Of my Not Having Her A likely thing indeed that I ever car'd for Such an individule w^h. Never Did Only of you, Dearest What shall I Send you As A Gift Shall it Be In The cloathing Line, For there Is a Wonderful Fine and Choice Assortm^t. of Cashmere Shawls and Most Remarkable Handsome Cloaks, All Newly arrived fr. Paris, Never Think Of The price w^h. Betwixt Lovers Goes For Nothing. However _Large the Figure_ Only Say what You Shall have and Down It shall Come And Now dearest Girl Adieu.

'Those Can't meet Again, who Never Part.'

dearest Your's to command till death. T. TITMOUSE.

"P. T. O.--Love and Duty To My Lord (of Course) who shall Feel only Too happy to Call My Father-In-Law, the Sooner The better."

When poor Lady Cecilia received this exquisite epistle, and had read over only half a dozen lines of it, she flung it on the floor; threw herself down on the sofa in her dressing-room; and remained silent and motionless for more than an hour. When she heard Miss Macspleuchan knock at her door for admittance, Lady Cecilia started up, snatched the letter from the floor, and thrust it into her dressing-case, before admitting her "humble companion."

A succession of such letters as the above might have had the effect upon Lady Cecilia's "_attachment_" to Titmouse, which the repeated affusion of cold water would have upon the thermometer; but the crack-brained Fates still favored Mr. Titmouse, by presently investing him with a character, and placing him in a position, calculated to give him personal dignity, and thereby redeem and elevate him in the estimation of his fastidious and lofty mistress--I mean that of candidate for a seat in Parliament--for the representation of a borough in which he had a commanding influence:--but this brings me to topics which must not be lightly handled.

After a national commotion commensurate with the magnitude of the boon which had been sought for, the great BILL FOR GIVING EVERYBODY EVERYTHING had passed into a law, and the people were frantic with joy. Its blooming first fruits were of a sort calculated to satisfy the public expectation, viz.--two or three earls were turned into marquises, and one or two marquises into dukes, and deservedly; for these great men had far higher titles to the gratitude and admiration of the country, in exacting this second Magna Charta from King ----, than the stern old barons in extorting the first from King John--namely, they parted with vast substantial political power, for only a nominal _quid pro quo_, in the shape of a bit of ribbon or a strawberry leaf. Its next immediate effect was to cleanse the Augean stable of the House of Commons, by opening upon it the floodgates of popular will and popular opinion; and having utterly expelled the herd of ignorant and mercenary wretches which had so long occupied and defiled it, their places were to be supplied by a band of patriots and statesmen, as gifted as disinterested--the people's own enlightened, unbiased, and deliberate choice. Once put the government of the country--it was said--the administration of affairs--into hands such as these, and the inevitable result would be, the immediate regeneration of society, and the securing the greatest happiness to the greatest number. It was fearfully apparent that, under the old system, we had sunk into irredeemable contempt abroad, and were on the very verge of ruin and anarchy at home. So blessedly true is it, that when things come to the worst, they begin to mend! In short, the enlightened and enlarged constituencies began forthwith to look out for fit objects of their choice--for the best men; men of independent fortune; of deep stake in the welfare of the country; of spotless private and consistent public character; who, having had adequate leisure, opportunity, inclination, and capacity, had fitted themselves to undertake, with advantage to the nation, the grave responsibilities of statesmen and legislators. Such candidates, therefore, as Mr. Tittlebat Titmouse, became naturally in universal request; and the consequence was, such a prodigious flight of Titmice into the House of Commons--but whither am I wandering? I have to do with only one little borough--that of Yatton in Yorkshire. The Great Charter operated upon it, by _first_, in a manner, _amputating_ it of one of its members; _secondly_, extending its boundary--Grilston, and one or two of the adjacent places, being incorporated into the new borough; _thirdly_, by the introduction of the new qualification of voters. I have ascertained from a very high quarter--in fact, from a Cabinet Minister, _since deceased_[34]--a curious and important fact; viz. that had Mr. Titmouse failed in recovering the Yatton property, or been of different political opinions, in either of these cases, the little borough of Yatton was doomed to utter extinction: a circumstance which shows the signal vigilance, the accurate and comprehensive knowledge of local interest and capabilities, evinced by those great and good men who were remodelling the representation of the country. How little did my hero suspect that his political opinions, as newly-installed owner of Yatton, formed a topic of anxious discussion at more than one Cabinet council, previous to the passing of the Great Bill! Upon such considerations did it--in fact--depend whether Yatton should be at once deposited in the sepulchre of "_Schedule A_;" or added to the dismal rank of surviving, but _maimed_ ones in "_Schedule B._" As its boundary was extended, so the constituency of Yatton was, as I have said, enlarged; the invaluable elective franchise being wisely given to those most in need of the advantages it could _immediately_ procure; and the fleeting nature of whose interest naturally enhanced their desire to consult the welfare of those who had a permanent and deep stake in its prosperity. Though, however, the change effected by the new act had so considerably added to the roll of electors, it had not given ground for serious apprehension as to the security of the seat of the owner of the Yatton property. After a very long and private interview between Gammon and Titmouse, in which something transpired which may be referred to hereafter, it was agreed that--(the New Writs having been issued within one week after the calmed and sobered new constituencies had been organized--which organization, again, had been wisely effected within a week or two after the passing of the act which had created them)--Mr. Titmouse should instantly scare away all competition, by announcing his determination to start for the borough. As soon as this was known, a deputation from a club of the new electors in Grilston waited upon Mr. Titmouse--to propose the pecuniary terms on which their support was to be obtained. Hereat he was somewhat startled--but Gammon saw in it the legitimate working of the new system; and--nothing was ever better managed!--nobody was in any mischievous secret--neither party compromised; and yet the happy result was--that _one hundred and nine_ votes were in a trice secured in Grilston alone for Mr. Titmouse. Then Gammon appointed Messrs. Bloodsuck and Son the local agents of Titmouse; for whom he wrote an address to the electors--and, Titmouse promising to have it printed forthwith, Mr. Gammon returned to town for a day or two. Nothing could have been more skilful than the document which he had prepared--at once terse, comprehensive, and showy; meaning everything, or nothing--(_dolosus semper versatur in generalibus_, was an observation of Lord Coke's on which Gammon had kept his eye fixed in drawing up his "Address.") Yet it came to pass, that on the evening of the day of Gammon's departure, a Mr. Phelim O'Doodle, a splendid billiard-player, (in fact he had commenced life in the capacity of _marker_ to a billiard-table near Leicester Square,) and also one of the first members returned--only a few days before--for an Irish borough in the Liberal interest, chanced to take Yatton in his way to Scotland, (where he was going to officiate professionally at a grand match at billiards, at the house of an early patron, Sir Archibald M'Cannon,) from London; and being intimate with Mr. Titmouse, from whom (to conceal nothing from the reader) he had borrowed a little money a few months before, to enable him to present himself to his intelligent and enthusiastic constituency--they sat down to canvass the merits of the Address which the astute but _absent_ Gammon had prepared for Titmouse. Mr. O'Doodle pronounced it "divilish tame, and _maiger_;" comparing it to toddy, with the _whiskey omitted_: and availing himself of Gammon's draft as far as he approved of it, he drew up the following, which put Titmouse into an ecstasy; and he sent it off the very next morning for insertion in the _Yorkshire Stingo_. Here is an exact copy of that judicious and able performance--which I must own I consider quite a model in its way.

"_To the worthy and independent Electors of Yatton._

"GENTLEMEN,--His Majesty having been pleased to dissolve the late Parliament, under very remarkable and exciting circumstances, and, in the midst of the transports of enthusiasm arising out of the passing of that second Great Charter of our Liberties, _the Act for Giving Everybody Everything_, with kindly wisdom, to call upon you to exercise immediately the high and glorious privilege of choosing your representative in the New Parliament, I beg leave to announce myself as a candidate for that distinguished honor. Gentlemen, long before I succeeded in establishing my right to reside among you in my present capacity, I felt a deep interest in the welfare of the tenants of the property, and especially of those residing in the parts adjacent, and who are now so happily introduced into the constituency of this ancient and loyal borough. I trust that the circumstance of my ancestors having resided for ages within it, will not indispose you to a favorable reception of their descendant and representative. Gentlemen, my political opinions are those which led to the passing of the Great Measure I have alluded to, and which are bound up in it. Without going into details, which are too multifarious for the limits of such an Address as the present, let me assure you, that though firmly resolved to uphold the agricultural interests of this great country, I am equally anxious to sustain the commercial and manufacturing interests; and whenever they are unhappily in fatal conflict with each other, I shall be found at my post, zealously supporting _both_, to the utmost of my ability. Though a sincere and firm member and friend of the Established Church, I am not insensible to the fearful abuses which at present prevail in it; particularly in its revenues, which I am disposed to lessen and equalize--devoting the surplus capital to useful purposes connected with the State, from which she derived them, as history testifies. I am bent upon securing the utmost possible latitude to every species of Dissent. In fact, I greatly doubt whether any form of religion ought to be '_established_' in a free country. While I am resolved to uphold Protestantism, I think I best do so, by seeking to remove all restrictions from the Catholics, who, I am persuaded, will sacredly abstain from endeavoring to promote their own interests at the expense of ours. The infallible page of history establishes their humility, meekness, and moderation. Gentlemen, depend upon it, the established religion is most likely to flourish when surrounded by danger, and threatened by persecution; it has an inherent vitality which will defy, in the long run, all competition, and there _must_ be competition, or there can be no triumph. Gentlemen, I am for Peace, Retrenchment, and Reform, which are in fact the Three Polar Stars of my political conduct. I am an advocate for quarterly Parliaments, convinced that we cannot too often be summoned to give an account of our stewardship--and that the frequency of elections will occasion a wholesome agitation, and stimulus to trade. I am for extending the elective franchise to all, except those who are actually the inmates of a prison or a poor-house on the day of election; and for affording to electors the inviolable secrecy and protection of the Ballot. I am an uncompromising advocate of civil and religious liberty all over the globe; and, in short, of giving the greatest happiness to the greatest number. Gentlemen, before concluding, I wish to state explicitly, as the result of long and deep inquiry and reflection, that I am of opinion that every constituency is entitled, nay, bound, to exact from a candidate for its suffrages the most strict and minute pledges as to his future conduct in Parliament, in every matter, great or small, that can come before it; in order to prevent his judgment being influenced and warped by the dangerous sophistries and fallacies which are broached in Parliament, and protect his integrity from the base, sinister, and corrupt influences which are invariably brought to bear on public men. I am ready, therefore, to pledge myself to anything that may be required of me by any elector who may honor me with his support. Gentlemen, such are my political principles, and I humbly hope that they will prove to be those of the electors of this ancient and loyal borough, so as to warrant the legislature in having preserved it in existence, amid the wholesale havoc which it has just made in property of this description. Though it is not probable that we shall be harassed by a contest, I shall make a point of waiting upon you all personally, and humbly answering all questions that may be put to me: and should I be returned, rely upon it, that I will never give you occasion to regret your display of so signal an evidence of your confidence in me.--I have the honor to be, Gentlemen, your most obedient and humble servant,

"T. TITMOUSE.

"Yatton, 3d December, 18--."

"Upon my soul, if that don't carry the election hollow," said Mr. O'Doodle, laying down his pen, and mixing himself a fresh tumbler of half-and-half brandy and water, "you may call me bog-trotter to the end of my days, and be ---- to me!"!!!

"Why--a--ya--as! 'pon my life it's quite a superior article, and no mistake"--quoth Titmouse; "but--eh? d'ye think they'll ever believe I writ it all? Egad, my fine fellow, to compose a piece of composition like that, by Jove!--requires--and besides, suppose those dem fellows begin asking me all sorts of questions and thingembobs, eh? You _couldn't_ stay and go about with one a bit? Eh, Phelim?"

"Fait, Titty, an' it's mighty little awake to the way of _doing business_, that ye are! ah, ha! Murder and thieves! what does it signify what you choose to say or write to them? they're only _pisintry_: and--the real point to be looked at is this--all those that you can _command_--d'ye see--of course you will, or send 'em to the right about; and those that you can't--that's the _new_ blackguards round about--_buy_, if it's necessary, fait!"

"Oh, that's _done_!--It _is_, 'pon my soul!" whispered Titmouse.

"Oh? Is it in earnest you are? Then you're M. P. for the borough; and on the strength of it, I'll replenish!" and so he did, Titmouse following his example; and in a pretty state were they, some hour or two afterwards, conducted to their apartments.

It is difficult to describe the rage of Gammon on seeing the Address which had been substituted for that which he had prepared, with so much caution and tact: but the thing was done, and he was obliged to submit. The Address duly appeared in the _Yorkshire Stingo_. It was also placarded liberally all over the borough, and distributed about, exciting a good deal of interest, and also much approbation among the new electors. It was thought, however, that it was a piece of supererogation, inasmuch as there could be no possible doubt that Mr. Titmouse would _walk over the course_.

In this, however, it presently proved that the _quidnuncs_ of Yatton were terribly mistaken. A copy of the _Yorkshire Stingo_, containing the foregoing "Address," was sent, on the day of its publication, by Dr. Tatham to Mr. Aubrey, who had read it aloud, with feelings of mingled sorrow and contempt, on the evening of its arrival, in the presence of Mrs. Aubrey, Miss Aubrey, and also of one who was by no means an unfrequent visitor, Mr. Delamere. The Aubreys were sad enough; and he endeavored to dissipate the gloom which hung over them, by ridiculing, very bitterly and humorously, the pretensions of the would-be member for Yatton--the presumed writer (who, however, Kate protested, without giving her reasons, could never have been Mr. Titmouse) of the precious "Address." He partially succeeded. Both Aubrey and he laughed heartily as they went more deliberately over it; but Kate and Mrs. Aubrey spoke very gravely and indignantly about that part of it which related to the Established Church and the Protestant Religion.

"Oh dear, dear!" quoth Kate at length, with a sudden burst of impetuosity, after a considerable and rather melancholy pause in the conversation; "only to think that such an odious little wretch is to represent the dear old----What would I not give to see him defeated!"

"Pho, Kate," replied her brother, rather sadly, "who is there to oppose him? Pickering told me, you know, that he should not go into the House again; and even if he felt disposed to contest Yatton, what chance could he have against Mr. Titmouse's influence?"

"Oh, I'm sure all the old tenants hate the little monkey, to a man--and that _you_ know, Charles, right well!"

"That may be, Kate, but they must vote for him, or be turned out of"----

"Oh, I've no _patience_, Charles, to hear of such things!" interrupted his sister, with not a little petulance in her manner.

"Do you mean to say, that you should like to see a rival start to contest your dear old borough with Mr. Titmouse?" inquired Mr. Delamere, who had been listening to the foregoing brief colloquy in silence, his eyes fixed with eager delight on the animated and beautiful countenance of Miss Aubrey.

"_Indeed_ I should, Mr. Delamere," cried Kate, eagerly--"I would give five guineas, if I had it"--adding, however, with a sudden sigh, looking at her brother; "but--heigh-ho!--as Charles says, how absurd it is to fret one's self about it--about a thing we can't help--and--a place one has no longer--alas!--any concern with!" As she said this, her voice fell a little, and her eyes filled with tears. But her little sally had been attended with consequences she never could have dreamed of.

Mr. Delamere took leave of them shortly afterwards, without communicating a word of any intentions he might have conceived upon the subject to any of them. But the first place he went to, in the morning, was a great banker's, who had been appointed the principal acting executor of the Marquis of Fallowfield, a very recently deceased uncle of Delamere's, to whom his Lordship had left a legacy of £3,000; and 'twas to get at this same legacy that was the object of Delamere's visit to Sir Omnium Bullion's. For some time the worthy baronet--who had not then even proved the will--would not listen to the entreaties of the eager young legatee: but the moment that he heard of the purpose for which it was wanted, Sir Omnium being a very fierce Tory, and who had _lost_ his own snug borough by the Bill for _Giving Everybody Everything_, instantly relented. "There, my fine fellow, that's a piece of pluck I vastly admire! Sign _that_," said Sir Omnium, tossing to him an "I. O. U. £3,000," and drawing him a check for the amount: wishing him, with all imaginable zeal and energy, good speed. Delamere's excitement would not allow him to wait till the evening, for the mail; so, within a couple of hours' time of effecting this delightful arrangement with Sir Omnium, he was seated in a post-chaise and four, rattling at top-speed on his way to Yorkshire.

Sufficiently astonished were Lord and Lady De la Zouch, when he presented himself to them at Fotheringham; but infinitely more so, when he named the object of his coming down, and with desperate entreaties besought his father's sanction for the enterprise. 'Twas very hard for Lord De la Zouch to deny anything to one on whom he doted as he did upon this, his only child. His Lordship, moreover, was one of the keenest politicians living; and as for elections, he was an old campaigner, and had stood several desperate contests, and spent immense sums upon them. And here was his son, to use a well-known phrase, indeed a _chip of the old block_!--Lord De la Zouch, in short, really felt a secret pleasure in contemplating the resemblance to his early self--and after a little demur he began to give way. He shook his head, however, discouragingly; spoke of Delamere's youth--barely two-and-twenty; the certainty of defeat, and the annoyance of being beaten by such a creature as Titmouse; the suddenness and lateness of the move--and so forth.

More and more impetuous, however, became his son.

"I'll tell you what, sir," said Lord De la Zouch, scarce able to speak with the gravity he wished, "it strikes me that this extraordinary, expensive, absurd, and hopeless scheme of yours, is all the result of--eh? I see--I understand! It's done to please--Come, now, be frank, sir! how long, before you left town, had you seen Miss"----

"I pledge my word, sir," replied Delamere, emphatically, "that neither Miss Aubrey, nor Mr. nor Mrs. Aubrey--whom, however, I certainly saw the very night before I quitted town, and even conversed with on the subject of Mr. Titmouse's Address--has interchanged one syllable with me on the subject of my starting for the borough; and I believe them to be at this moment as ignorant of what I am about as you, sir, were, the moment before you saw me here."

"It is enough," said his father, seriously, who knew that his son, equally with himself, had a rigorous regard for truth on all occasions, great and small--"and had it even been otherwise, I--I--eh? I don't think there's anything _very_ monstrous in it!" He paused, and smiled kindly at his son--and added, "Well--I--I--we certainly shall be laughed at for our pains; it's really a madcap sort of business, Geoffrey; but"--Lord De la Zouch had given way--"I own that I should not like to have been thwarted by _my_ father on an occasion like the present; so, let it be done, as you've set your heart upon it. And," he added with a smile, "pray, Mr. Delamere, have you considered what I shall have to pay for your sport?"

"Not one penny, sir!" replied his son, with a certain swell of manner.

"Ay, ay!" exclaimed his Lordship, briskly--"How's that, sir?"

Then Delamere told him of what he had done; at which Lord De la Zouch first looked serious, and then burst into laughter at the eagerness of old Sir Omnium to aid the affair. Lord De la Zouch well knew that the old baronet was infinitely exasperated against those who had robbed him of his borough! Never was "_Schedule A_" mentioned in his presence without a kind of spasm passing over his features! as though it were the burial-ground where lay one long and fondly loved! "No, no," said his Lordship, "that must not stand; I won't have _any_ risk of Sir Omnium's getting into a scrape, and shall write off to request him to annul the transaction--with many thanks for what he has done--and I'll try whether I have credit enough with my bankers--eh, Geoffrey?"

"You are very kind to me, sir, but really I would rather"----

"Pho, pho--let it be as I say; and now, go and dress for dinner, and, after that, the sooner you get about _your_ 'Address,' the better. Let me see a draft of it as soon as it is finished. Let Mr. Parkinson be sent for immediately from Grilston, to see how the land lies; and, in short, if we _do_ go into the thing, let us dash into it with spirit--I'll write off and have down from town--a-hem!" his Lordship suddenly paused--and then added--"And hark 'ee, sir--as to that Address of yours, I'll have no despicable trimming, and trying to catch votes by vague and flattering"----

"Trust me, sir!" said Delamere, with a proud smile, "mine shall be, at all events, a contrast to that of my '_honorable opponent_.'"

"Go straight a-head, sir," continued Lord De la Zouch, with a lofty and determined air; "nail your colors to the mast. Speak out in a plain, manly way, so that no one can misunderstand you. I'd rather a thousand times over see you beaten out of the field--lose the election like a gentleman--than win it by any sort of _trickery_, especially as far as the profession of your political sentiments and opinions is concerned. Bear yourself so, Geoffrey, in this your maiden struggle, that when it is over, you may be able to lay your hand on your heart, and say, 'I have _won_ honorably'--or 'I have _lost_ honorably.' So long as you can feel and say _this_, laugh at election bills--at the long faces of your friends--the exulting faces of your enemies.--Will you bear all this in mind, Geoffrey?"

"I will, I will, sir," replied his eager son; and added, with an excited air, "won't it come on them like"----

"Do you hear that bell, sir?" said Lord De la Zouch, laughing, and moving away. Delamere bowed, and with a brisk step, a flushed cheek, and an elated air, betook himself to his dressing-room, to prepare for dinner.

Shortly afterwards, Mr. Parkinson made his appearance, and to his infinite amazement was invested instantly with the character of agent for Mr. Delamere, as candidate for the borough! After he and the earl had heard the following Address read by Delamere, they very heartily approved of it. Mr. Parkinson took it home with him; it was in the printer's hands that very night, and by seven o'clock in the morning, was being stuck up plentifully on all the walls in Grilston, and in fact, all over the borough:--

"_To the Independent Electors of the Borough of Yatton._

"GENTLEMEN--I hope you will not consider me presumptuous, in venturing to offer myself to your notice as a candidate for the honor of representing you in Parliament. In point of years, I am, I have reason to believe, even younger than the gentleman whom I have come forward to oppose. But, indeed, for the fact of his being personally a comparative stranger to you, I should have paused long before contesting with him the representation of a borough on which he has unquestionably certain legitimate claims. The moment, however, that I had read his Address, I resolved to come forward and oppose him. Gentlemen, the chief ground on which I am induced to take this step, is, that I disapprove of the tone and spirit of that Address, and hold opinions entirely opposed to all those which it expresses, and which I have no hesitation in saying I consider to be unworthy of any one seeking so grave a trust as that of representing you in Parliament. As for my own opinions, they are in all essential respects identical with those of the gentlemen who have, during a long series of years, represented you, and especially with those of my highly honored and gifted friend, Mr. Aubrey. Gentlemen, my own family is not unknown to you, nor are the opinions and principles which for centuries they have consistently supported, and which are also mine.

"I am an affectionate and uncompromising friend of our glorious and venerable Established Church, and of its union with the State; which it is my inflexible determination to support by every means in my power, as the most effectual mode of securing civil and religious liberty. I am disposed to resist any further concessions either to Roman Catholics or Dissenters, because I think that they cannot be made safely or advantageously. Gentlemen, there _is_ a point at which toleration becomes anarchy; and I am desirous to keep as far from that point as possible.

"I earnestly deprecate putting our Agricultural or Commercial and Manufacturing interests into _competition_ with each other, as needless and mischievous. Both are essential elements in the national welfare; both should be upheld to the utmost: but if circumstances _should_ unhappily bring them into inevitable conflict, I avow myself heart and soul a friend to the Agricultural interest.

"Gentlemen, I know not whether it would be more derogatory to your character, or to mine, to exact or give _pledges_ as to my conduct on any particular measure, great or small, which may come before Parliament. It appears to me both absurd and ignominious, and inconsistent with every true principle of representation. One, however, I willingly give you--that I will endeavor to do my duty, by consulting your interests as a part of the general interests of the nation. I trust that I shall never be found uncourteous or inaccessible; and I am confident that none of you will entertain unreasonable expectations concerning my power to serve you individually or collectively.

"Gentlemen, having entered into this contest, I pledge myself to fight it out to the last; and, if I fail, to retire with good humor. My friends and I will keep a vigilant eye on any attempts which may be made to resort to undue influence or coercion; which, however, I cannot suppose will be the case.

"Gentlemen, this is the best account I can give you, within the limits of such an Address as the present, of my political opinions, and of the motives which have induced me to come forward; and I shall, within a day or two, proceed to call upon you personally. In the mean while I remain, Gentlemen, your faithful servant,

"GEOFFREY LOVEL DELAMERE.

"_Fotheringham Castle, 7th Dec. 18--._"

Two or three days afterwards there arrived at Mr. Aubrey's, in Vivian Street, two large packets, franked "DE LA ZOUCH," and addressed to Mr. Aubrey, containing four copies of the foregoing "Address," accompanied by the following hurried note:--

"_Fotheringham, 8th Dec. 18--._

"MY DEAR AUBREY--What think you of this sudden and somewhat Quixotic enterprise of my son? I fear it is quite hopeless--but there was no resisting his importunities. I must say he is going into the affair (which has already made a prodigious stir down here) in a very fine spirit. His _Address_ is good, is it not? The only thing I regret is, his entering the lists with such a creature as that fellow Titmouse--and, moreover, being _beaten_ by him.--Yours ever faithfully and affectionately,

"DE LA ZOUCH.

"P. S.--You should only see little Dr. Tatham since he has heard of it. He spins about the village like a humming-top! I hope that, as far as his worldly interests are concerned, he is not acting imprudently: but _I_ will take care of that, for I love and reverence the little doctor. Our dear love to the ladies. (In great haste.)"

This letter was read with almost suspended breath, by Mr. Aubrey, and then by Mrs. and Miss Aubrey. With still greater emotion were the printed enclosures opened and read. Each was held in a trembling hand, its reader's color going and coming. Miss Aubrey's heart beat faster and faster; she turned very pale--but with a strong effort recovered herself. Then taking the candle, she withdrew with a hasty and excited air, taking her copy of the Address with her to her own room; and there burst into tears, and wept for some time. She felt her heart dissolving in tenderness towards Delamere! It was some time before she could summon resolution enough to return. When she did, Mrs. Aubrey made a faint effort to rally her; but each, on observing the traces of the other's recent and strong emotion, was silent, and with difficulty preserved any semblance of a calm demeanor.

Equally strong emotions, but of a very different description, were excited in the bosoms of certain persons at Yatton Hall, by the appearance of Mr. Delamere's Address. 'Twas Mr. Barnabas Bloodsuck, (junior,)--a middle-sized, square-set young man, of about thirty, with a broad face, a very flat nose, light frizzly hair, and deep-set gray eyes--a bustling, confident, hard-mouthed fellow--who, happening to be stirring in the main street of Grilston early in the morning of the 8th December 18--, beheld a man in the act of sticking up Mr. Delamere's Address against a wall. Having prevailed on the man to part with one, Mr. Bloodsuck was within a quarter of an hour on horseback, galloping down to Yatton--almost imagining himself to be carrying with him a sort of hand-grenade, which might explode in his pocket as he went on. He was ushered into the breakfast-room, where sat Mr. Gammon and Mr. Titmouse, just finishing their morning meal.

"My stars--good-morning! gents,--but here's a kettle of fish!" quoth Mr. Bloodsuck, with an excited air, wiping the perspiration from his forehead; and then plucking out of his pocket the damp and crumpled Address of Mr. Delamere, he handed it to Mr. Gammon, who changed color on seeing it, and read it over in silence.

Mr. Titmouse looked at him with a disturbed air; and having finished his mixture of tea and brandy, "Eh--e--eh, Gammon!--I say"--he stammered--"what's in the wind? 'Pon my soul, you look--eh?"

"Nothing but a piece of good fortune, for which you are indebted to your distinguished friend, Mr. Phelim O'Something," replied Gammon, bitterly, "whose precious Address has called forth for you an opponent whom you would not otherwise have had."

"Hang Mr. O'Doodle!" exclaimed Titmouse; "I--'pon my precious soul--I always thought him a-a fool and a knave. I'll make him pay me the money he owes me!" and he strode up and down the room, with his hands thrust furiously into his pockets.

"You had perhaps better direct your powerful mind to this Address," quoth Mr. Gammon, with a blighting smile, "as it slightly concerns you;" and handing it to Titmouse, the latter sat down to try and obey him.

"That cock won't _really_ fight, though, eh?" inquired Mr. Bloodsuck, as he resumed his seat after helping himself to an enormous slice of cold beef at the side table.

"I think it _will_," replied Mr. Gammon, thoughtfully: and presently continued after a pause, with a visible effort to speak calmly, "it is useless to say anything about the haughty intolerant Toryism it displays; that is all fair; but _is_ it not hard, Mr. Bloodsuck, that when I had written an Address which would have effectually"----

"Mr. Phelim O'Doodle owes me three hundred pounds, Gammon, and I hope you'll get it for me at once; 'pon my soul, he's a most cursed scamp," quoth Titmouse, furiously, looking up with an air of desperate chagrin, on hearing Gammon's last words. That gentleman, however, took no notice of him, and proceeded, addressing Mr. Bloodsuck, "I have weighed every word in that Address. _It means mischief._ It has evidently been well considered; it is calm and determined--and we shall have a desperate contest, or I am grievously mistaken."

"E--e--eh? E--h? What, Gammon?" inquired Titmouse, who, though his eye appeared, in obedience to Gammon, to have been travelling over the all-important document which he held in his hand, had been listening with trembling anxiety to what was said by his companions.

"I say that we are to have a contested election: that you won't walk over the course, as you might have done. Here's a most formidable opponent started against you!"

"What? 'Pon my soul--for _my_ borough? For Yatton?"

"Yes, and one who will fight you tooth and nail."

"'Pon--my--precious soul! What a cursed scamp! What a most infernal black----Who is it?"

"No _blackguard_, sir," interrupted Gammon, very sternly; "but--a gentleman, perhaps, even, every way equal to yourself," he added with a cruel smile, "the Honorable Mr. Delamere, the son and heir of Lord De la Zouch."

"By jingo! you don't say so! Why, he's a hundred thousand a-year," interrupted Titmouse, turning very pale.

"Oh, _that_ he has, at least," interposed Mr. Bloodsuck, who had nearly finished a rapid and most disgusting breakfast; "and two such bitter Tories you never saw or heard of before--for, like father, like son."

"Egad! is it?" inquired Titmouse, completely crestfallen. "Well! and what if--eh, Gammon? Isn't it?"

"It is a very serious business, sir, indeed," quoth Gammon, gravely.

"By Jove--isn't it a cursed piece of--impudence! What? Come into _my borough_? He might as well come into my house! Isn't one as much mine, as the other? It's as bad as housebreaking--but we're beforehand with him, anyhow, with those prime chaps at Gr----" Mr. Bloodsuck's teeth chattered; he glanced towards the door; and Gammon gave Titmouse a look which almost paralyzed, and at all events silenced him.

"They'll bleed freely?" said Bloodsuck, by-and-by, with a desperate effort to look concerned--whereas he was in a secret ecstasy at the profitable work in prospect for their house.

"Lord De la Zouch would not have entered into this thing if he had not some end in view which he considers attainable--and as for money"----

"Oh, as for that," said Bloodsuck, with a matter-of-fact air, "ten thousand pounds to him is a mere drop in the bucket."

"O Lord! O Lord! and must _I_ spend money too?" inquired Titmouse, with a look of ludicrous alarm.

"We must talk this matter over alone, Mr. Bloodsuck," said Gammon, anxiously--"shall we go to Grilston, or will you fetch your father hither?"'

"'Pon my soul, Gammon," quoth Titmouse, desperately, and snapping his finger and thumb, "those cursed Aubreys, you may depend on 't, are at the bottom of all this"----

"_That_ there's not the least doubt of," quoth Bloodsuck, as he buttoned up his coat with a matter-of-fact air; but the words of Titmouse caused Mr. Gammon suddenly to dart first at one, and then at the other of the speakers, a keen penetrating glance; and presently his expressive countenance showed that _surprise_ had been succeeded by deep chagrin, which soon settled into gloomy thoughtfulness.

NOTES.

[Footnote 1: NOTE 1. Page 1.

See _post_, Chapter V., Preliminary Note.]

[Footnote 2: NOTE 2. Page 5.

An important and salutary improvement in the law of libel, especially in the case of newspapers, was effected in 1843, by statute 6 and 7 Vict. c. 96. Till then the TRUTH was inadmissible as a _justification_ on a criminal prosecution for libel--the rule being that the greater the truth the greater was the libel--by which was meant its greater tendency to a breach of the peace. Now, however, the defendant may _defend_ himself against an indictment or information, by pleading that the charge was true, and that it was for the public benefit that it should have been published; but he must specially state in his plea the particular facts by reason of which it was for the public benefit. If such plea, or evidence in support of it, should be false or malicious, the act allows that circumstance to be taken into consideration in awarding punishment. A serious amount of fine, imprisonment, and hard labor, may be inflicted for publishing, or threatening (with intent to extort money) to publish, a false and malicious libel. In _civil_ proceedings a defendant may plead that he was not guilty of _actual_ malice or _gross_ negligence; and offered to publish, or published, a full apology, in which case he may pay money into court by way of amends; and in all actions of defamation he may show an apology, or offer of one, in mitigation of damages. This statute does not extend to Scotland.]

[Footnote 3: NOTE 3. Page 32.

Troilus and Cressida, i. 3.]

[Footnote 4: NOTE 4. Page 40.

The great increase of business alone, is the cause of the accumulation of arrears--especially in the Queen's Bench, which is almost overpowered by the enormous pressure of its criminal business. All the three superior courts have recently adopted post-terminal fittings, to enable them to despatch their arrears; an act of Parliament having been passed (stat. 1 and 2 Vict. c. 32) for that purpose.]

[Footnote 5: NOTE 5. Page 42.

If the reader will refer to vol. i. p. 490, he may see how the _disabilities_ here alluded to arose, and affected the case. The doctrine of "adverse possession" is founded on the anxiety of our law to secure quietude of title. It gives every reasonable facility for the assertion of just rights against wrongful possessors of property; but with equal reasonableness fixes a limit to immunity from the consequences of negligent acquiescence under usurpation, considering it, in a word, better policy to protect a person in possession, than to encourage a struggle for it among strangers. _Vigilantibus non dormientibus jura subveniunt_, is the maxim of the common law, on which also the statute law has often acted, and recently with great effect, by stat. 3 and 4 Will. 4, c. 27, (passed on the 24th July 1833.) By its provisions, many of the most subtle and difficult questions concerning the nature of "possession" are got rid of; and the period of twenty years from the commencement of the rights of possession, fixed as that within which alone an action or suit in equity for the recovery of lands must be brought--unless a party was, when his right accrued, laboring under the _disability_ of infancy, coverture, insanity, or absence beyond seas: in any of which cases an extension of _ten_ years is allowed: but it is expressly provided, that however numerous such disabilities may have been--however long and uninterruptedly they may have lasted--_forty_ years shall be absolutely the limit within which the action or suit must be brought from the time of the _right first accruing_. If the statute "once begin to run," as the lawyers say, "nothing can stop it." The above constitute some of the boldest and best of the great alterations recently effected in our English system of real property law. A far longer period than the present one was requisite to constitute "adverse possession" at the time mentioned in the text.]

[Footnote 6: NOTE 6. Page 43.

See _post_, Chapter V., Preliminary Note.]

[Footnote 7: NOTE 7. Page 49.

"[Greek: 'Anthropinos]," signifies in this place, (1 Corinth. x. 13,) says a commentator on this memorable passage of Scripture, "such as is suited to the nature and circumstances of man; such as every man may reasonably expect, if he consider the nature of his body and soul, and his situation in the present world."]

[Footnote 8: NOTE 8. Page 54.

It might be inferred, from a somewhat loose statement in an English law treatise, that in a case like that of Mr. Aubrey--viz. of possession of property in entire ignorance that it belonged to another--a Court of Equity would protect against the rightful owner's claim for the mesne profits. Such, however, is by no means the case. Mr. Titmouse had recovered at law--by the superior strength of his title, and without requiring any assistance whatever from a Court of Equity; the mesne profits, therefore, were absolutely his--and any interference, by a Court of Equity, to deprive him of them, would have been an act of direct spoliation. Such a notion, therefore, is utterly destitute of foundation. If Mr. Titmouse had been compelled to seek the assistance of a Court of Equity in order to prosecute his claim, and had clearly been guilty of negligence or fraud; it is possible that some terms might have been imposed upon him, with reference to the mesne profits to be wrung from his comparatively-speaking innocent opponent--but even then, it is conceived that Equity would be very slow and jealous in exercising such a stretch of power. The Roman law took a different view of the subject, regarding him--_qui justas causas habuisset quare bona ad se pertinere existimasset_, (Dig. Lib. v. Tit. iii. 1, 20, &c.)--with great leniency, and exempting him from payment of mesne profits accrued previous to the action. According to the law of Scotland, a _bonâ fide_ possessor evicted (i. e. turned out) by a person having a better right, is entitled to retain the fruits or profits (called "_violent profits_") which he may have reaped or received during his _bonâ fide_ possession. It would seem, however, that this doctrine is based not solely upon the _bonâ fide_ ignorance of the ousted party, but upon the concurring _negligence_ and _delay_ of his victorious opponent.]

[Footnote 9: NOTE 9. Page 58.

It is by no means a matter of course, to apply for and obtain this nominal appointment, which occasions _ipso facto_ the vacating a seat in Parliament. It is a matter of discretion with the Chancellor of the Exchequer; and he has _refused_ it during the present session [1844] to several applicants.]

[Footnote 10: NOTE 10. Page 75.

This species of sport has recently, alas! been seriously interfered with, by the increased power given, in such cases, to the police magistrates.]

[Footnote 11: NOTE 11. Page 91.

See Dr. Bubble's "Account of the late Landslips, and of the Remains of Subterranean Castles."--Quarto Edition, Vol. III. pp. 2000-2008.]

[Footnote 12: NOTE 12. Page 91.

_Ante_, Vol. 1., p. 441.]

[Footnote 13: NOTE 13. Page 93.

Horace, Carm. 1. 34, _ad finem._]

[Footnote 14: NOTE 14. Page 96.

Troilus and Cressida, i. 3.]

[Footnote 15: NOTE 15. Page 224.

1 Samuel, ch. ii., v. 36.]

[Footnote 16: NOTE 16. Page 234.

It may be as well to apprise the reader, that this strange mode of pleading has been lately superseded by one more reasonable and intelligible.]

[Footnote 17: NOTE 17. Page 281.

"_Mayhem_," saith Blackstone, "is a battery attended with this aggravating circumstance: that thereby the party injured is forever disabled from making so good a defence against future external injuries, as before he might have done. Among these defensive members are reckoned not only arms and legs, but a finger, an eye, and a _fore-tooth_; but the loss of one of the _jaw_-teeth, is no _mayhem_ at common law, for they can be of no use in fighting."--3 _Black. Comm._ p. 121.]

[Footnote 18: NOTE 18. Page 282.

In the year 1838, arrest on mesne process was abolished by statute 1 and 2 Vict. c. 110, (which recited that "the power of arrest upon mesne process was unnecessarily extensive and severe, and ought to be relaxed,") except in cases where a debtor may be arrested by order of a judge, to prevent his quitting the kingdom. In the year 1844, the legislature went so far (stat. 7 and 8 Vict. c. 96, § 58) as to abolish arrest on _final_ process, in all cases of debts not exceeding £20, independently of costs. The policy of this measure is gravely questionable.]

[Footnote 19: NOTE 19. Page 283.

A _detainer_ signifies a writ, by means of which a prisoner, once arrested, may be detained at the suit of any _other_ creditor.]

[Footnote 20: NOTE 20. Page 285.

The last acts of the kind are those for abolishing Arrest on Mesne Process (see _ante_, p. 282, note) and amending the Insolvent Laws, (stat. 1 and 2 Vict. c. 110, § 78, and 7 and 8 Vict. c. 96, § 59.)]

[Footnote 21: NOTE 21. Page 312.

For a really _short_-sighted person a concave glass, and for a too _long_-sighted man a convex glass, is requisite: but simpletons who wear a glass for mere appearance' sake, have one through which they can really see--_i. e._ a piece of common window-glass. Three-fourths of the young men about town wear the last kind of glass.]

[Footnote 22: NOTE 22. Page 316.

Since this was written, Great Britain has, by the demonstration of her irresistible naval and military power, and by the wisdom of her diplomacy, totally changed our relations with China--which has opened to us five of her ports, ceded to us a great island, and entered into a commercial treaty with us!]

[Footnote 23: NOTE 23. Page 339.

Hor. Carm. V., iv.]

[Footnote 24: NOTE 24. Page 352.

Plowden's _Commentaries_, 308, a, (Sharrington _v._ Strotton.)]

[Footnote 25: NOTE 25. Page 362.

About the time when this was originally written, there was a person who, chiefly at Windsor, occasioned much surprise and curiosity by the power which he appeared to exercise over horses, by touching, as he alleged, a particular nerve within the mouth.]

[Footnote 26: NOTE 26. Page 372.

Per bend Ermine and Pean, two lions rampant combatant, counter-changed, armed and langued Gules; surmounted by three bendlets undee Argent, on each three fleurs-de-lis Azure; on a chief Or, three TITMICE volant proper; all within a bordure gobonated Argent and Sable.

CREST.--On a cap of maintenance a Titmouse proper, ducally gorged Or, holding in his beak a woodlouse embowed Azure. Motto--"_Je le tiens._"

_Note._--The Author was favored, on the first appearance of this portion of the work, with several complimentary communications on the subject of Sir Gorgeous Tintack's feats in heraldry: and one gentleman eminent in that science, and to whom the author is indebted for the annexed spirited drawing, has requested the author to annex to the separate edition, as he now does, the two following very curious extracts from old heraldic writers:--the first, supporting the author's ridicule of the prevalent folly of devising complicated coats of arms; and the second being a very remarkable specimen of the extent to which an enthusiast in the science was carried on its behalf.

_First_--"An other thing that is amisse, as I take it, and hath great neede to be reformed, is the quartering of many markes in one shield, coate, or banner; for sithence it is true that such markes serue to no other vse, but for a commander to lead by, or to be known by, it is of necessitie that the same should be _apparent_, _faire_, and _easie to be understoode_: so that the quartering of many of them together, doth hinder the vse for which they are provided.--As how is it possible for a plaine unlearned man to discover and know a sunder, six or eight--sometimes thirty or forty several marks clustered altogether in one shield or banner, nay, though he had as good skill as _Robert Glower_, late Somerset that dead is, and the eies of an egle, amongst such a confusion of things, yet should he never be able to decipher the errors that are dalie committed in this one point, nor discover or know one banner or standard from an other, be the same neuer so large?"--_Treatise on the True Use of Armes--by Mr. Sampson Erdswicke_, [a famous antiquary in the reign of Queen Elizabeth.]

[_Secondly._--An extract from the _Book of St. Alban's_, written late in the fifteenth century, by _Dame Juliana Berners, Abbess of St. Alban's_]--

"_Cain_ and all his offspring became _churls_ both by the curse of God, and his own father. _Seth_ was made a _gentleman_, through his father and mother's blessing, from whose loins issued _Noah_, a _gentleman_ by kind and lineage. Of Noah's sons, _Chem_ became a churl by his father's curse, on account of his gross barbarism towards his father. _Japhet_ and _Shem_, Noah made gentlemen. From the offspring of gentlemanly Japhet came _Abraham_, _Moyses_, and the Prophets, and also the King of the right line of Mary, of whom that only absolute gentleman[X] Jesus was borne; perfite God and perfite man according to his manhood, King of the land of Juda, and the Jewes, and _gentleman_ by his Mother Mary, princess of coate Armour."

[X] One of our oldest dramatists speaks of our Saviour in an earnest sense as "the _first true gentleman_ that ever lived."]

[Footnote 27: NOTE 27. Page 374.

I vehemently suspect myself guilty of a slight anachronism here; this ancient and illustrious monarchy having been mediatized by the congress of Vienna in 1815--its territories now forming part of the parish of Hahnroost, in the kingdom of ----.]

[Footnote 28: NOTE 28. Page 399.

_Ante_, p. 265.]

[Footnote 29: NOTE 29. Page 415.

[Greek: Mêdeia], 1036-9. _Anglicé_: Alas, alas, my children! why do you fondly fix your eyes upon me? Why beams upon me _that last smile_ of yours? Oh, woe! woe! is me! What shall I do? For now that I have seen the bright eyes of my little ones, my heart is broken!]

[Footnote 30: NOTE 30. Page 415.

Ezek. xii. 18.]

[Footnote 31: NOTE 31. Page 453.

Since this work was published, a very important statute (6 and 7 Vict.