Part 2

IF A WOMAN cares for a man she will never give him away; she will not even lend him to a friend.

IT IS not the woman the man she loves has kissed that should worry a jealous woman but the women he has not kissed—yet.

THE only criterion for choosing presents is one’s own taste; that is why old ladies give their nephews pin cushions, children give their parents toys, men give their wives cigars, and lovers give each other kisses.

YOU would be astonished at the calculations the most unmathematical woman can do in her head.

THE man who may mayn’t, the man who mayn’t will every time.

ONE’S friends are divided into two classes, those one knows because one must and those one knows because one mustn’t.

THERE are some men whose very insolence is flattery to a woman, while even the flattery of others is insulting.

MANY a woman who seems to want coaxing might be driven if the car were luxurious enough.

TO BE subject to one’s relations is worse than being subject to fits.

IN THE game of life the woman who is lucky in hearts generally holds the biggest diamonds too.

SOME women seem to think that they have only to wear a smile to be chic.

IT IS difficult enough to know the right people, but a hundred times more difficult to love the right people.

NARROW minds seem to be able to squeeze in anywhere.

LOVE is like a bazaar. The admittance is free but it costs you something before you get out.

YOU can never forget a sin you have confessed.

ONLY the novice attempts to fascinate a man by convincing him how charming she is; the woman who knows simply convinces him how charming he is and the rest just happens.

WOMAN has proved that she can take a man’s place among men. But she will never be able to take a man’s place among women.

EVERYONE has been young once, most women are young about three times.

MANY a woman tries to cheer herself up with the thought that her husband would be sorry if she died.

A WOMAN has to choose between being an episode and being a nuisance.

NO ONE has anything but contempt for the world’s opinion of them—unless it is a really good one.

IT IS hard to say which is the more to be pitied, a man with an ugly, unattractive wife he does not care for or the man with a pretty fascinating wife whom he does care for.

AS LONG as you return his presents a man will continue to love you, but return his love and he really does become discouraged.

SPEECH may have been given a woman to conceal her thoughts but clothes were certainly not given her to conceal her form.

PEOPLE who have lost their reputation generally acquire such very bad ones in its place.

THE fact that he is boring other people luckily does not prevent a man from amusing himself.

TO HAVE their private life made public is the way some people have got into and others out of society.

THREE is usually an unlucky number if one is the third.

IF A MAN loves his wife he thinks everyone does, and if he does not love her he thinks no one does—and in both cases he is probably wrong.

HOME comforts are things that are always sent to people away from home; those at home have to put up with the discomforts.

GOOD women are nearly always jealous of bad women—and they have every reason to be.

A MAN is really capable if he can successfully mix his wines and keep his women friends apart.

A MAN does not love a woman because she is a good house-keeper, but he is quite likely to unlove her because she is a bad one.

A GIRL must sometimes find it awfully difficult to give her friends a good reason for having married the only man who ever asked her.

YOU may feel for others but you must think for yourself.

THE very worst people often live at the very best addresses.

ALMOST anyone can see the humour of the situation when it is someone else who is situated.

FROM the way some people seem to avoid knowing themselves we imagine them to be quite particular about their acquaintances.

A MAN of honour does not help himself to another man’s property—until he can’t help himself.

MOST women live for the present, and the handsomer the present the better they live.

LOVE has so many components—multi-coloured beads threaded on the string of trust; break that and all the beads are scattered.

THAT a man is fat does not necessarily prove that he is generous—except to himself.

SO MANY people would give anything to escape from home to some place where they could be really at home.

GOODNESS only knows—half what wickedness knows.

THERE are all sorts of women. Choose one you like, but never try to change the one you choose.

THERE are people who are always complaining that they don’t know what to do, while the only trouble other people have is that they can’t remember what not to do.

AN INNOCENT question may have anything but an innocent answer.

EVERY woman acts one part in her life, that of the sort of girl the man she wants to marry wants to marry.

MEN always say that they loathe being flattered, but don’t take any notice—no man has ever known that he was flattered.

WOMEN are divided into two classes, good wives who have no husband, and bad wives who have several.

A PRETTY girl can afford to wear inexpensive dresses, on the other hand she is more likely to be able to afford costly ones than if she were plain.

WHEN a flapper wants to she does, when she doesn’t want to she says her mother won’t let her.

IT IS USELESS to be able to support a woman in luxury if you cannot support her _en déshabille_.

BETTER a will in your favour than a will of your own.

THE ONLY way to keep a man at home is to go out with him.

WOMEN love men for what they give them, men love women for what they deny them.

THE TROUBLE is that man is by nature a man—not a husband.

LETTERS that should never have been written and ought immediately to be destroyed are the only ones worth keeping.

‘TRUE FRIENDS’ are generally quite impossible, and true lovers highly improbable.

NEVER make a woman cry unless she insists.

A MAN is like an omelette, he cannot be successfully warmed up again once he has got cold.

YOU NEED not consider a man but you must amuse him.

TO KNOW and understand women requires brain: to know and understand men requires beauty.

WHEN a woman begins to boast of the insults she has been offered in the past her charms are waning.

A CLEVER woman can help her husband, a pretty woman can help herself.

MOONLIGHT does not make things happen but it makes them visible.

THE husband who counts is the one who has something to count.

THERE IS a lot of difference between the man who admires fresh complexions and the man who likes fresh faces.

A WOMAN never notices that there is nothing to do in a place unless there is no one to do it with.

THERE are no middle-aged people now: they are young, wonderful for their age, and then dead.

THE ACT of ‘putting your cards on the table’ does not necessarily reveal what your foot is doing under it.

VERY few women will go so far to prove that their price is above rubies as to refuse—rubies.

MEN never grow up, they begin and end in arms.

THE history of the world is the story of how different people made the same mistake. Progress is the occasional departure from this order when someone has sufficient genius to think of a new sort of mistake to make.

WOMEN will destroy a man’s faith, his illusions, his love: but they will _not_ destroy his letters.

A MAN goes to a woman when he is in trouble—and gets into more trouble.

IF A WOMAN wants a thing she gets it. If a man wants a thing he buys it.

OPINIONS differ as to whether it is bad to be modern or merely modern to be bad.

FIRE-ARMS and freedom are two things that very few women ever handle properly.

WHAT a woman doesn’t know she guesses, and what she guesses she knows.

NO WOMAN with real beauty ever had false modesty.

WHEN a man has money to burn the chronic borrower is a match for him.

SOME people who boast of not wearing their heart on their sleeve probably know that if they did it would give them a most awfully shabby appearance.

MOST women look better on a cushioned couch than on a pedestal, and certainly feel more at home.

WHEN a woman wants a man to love her it does not necessarily mean that she loves him; it probably means that some other woman loves him.

THERE are people who read books, look at cathedrals and commit sins merely to provide themselves with topics of conversation.

A MAN’S sense of honour is a very delicate mechanism and apt to get out of order if brought too near a pretty woman.

WOMAN is the eternal question, and man is the answer to it.

PEOPLE will tell you that they never do what they are ashamed of, when what they really mean is that they are never ashamed of what they do.

ORIGINALLY an animal, man has been improved by civilization and may eventually develop into a perfect beast.

IF A WOMAN speaks without thinking, she may perhaps say what she really thinks.

A MAN who will come and go at a woman’s word invariably has to go once oftener than he comes.

TO LOOK WELL DRESSED is a matter of technique; to look well undressed requires natural gifts.

A WOMAN should exercise the greatest care in the choice of the men she allows to love her, for by the quality of her lovers the quality of her attractions will be judged.

FEW MEN are quite so intolerable as the eulogies of the women who love them make them out to be.

A WOMAN loses her illusions at just about the same time as she loses her looks.

THE TRUE test is not whether a man behaves like a gentleman, but whether he misbehaves like one.

CONVERSATION IS listening to yourself in the presence of others.

A LOVER’S eyes are a flattering mirror.

WHEN you see an old man alone you are looking at something very sad. When you see an old man with a young woman you are looking at something rich.

IT IS NOT quite fair to blame people for not possessing the virtues with which your imagination has endowed them.

A MAN’S IDEA of ‘life’ is a series of improbable situations with impossible people.

A WOMAN’S KISSES prove almost as little as her words. A man kisses a woman because she attracts him, while a woman kisses a man because she likes to attract him.

SO MANY rich men have given up all the pleasures of youth so that when they are old they can afford all the things they can no longer enjoy.

A WOMAN’S chief asset lies in what is invested with mystery; a man’s chief assets must needs be invested with knowledge.

NOW-A-DAYS it is almost impossible to keep outsiders outside.

MOST MARRIED people would get on so much better together if they were apart.

A MAN will tell a woman that he loves her for herself alone, but what he really means is that he loves her for himself alone.

MOST PEOPLE’S idea of ‘starting afresh’ is going on in the same way somewhere else.

WHEN A woman marries she displays her ability to do so. When a man marries he displays his inability not to do so.

IT IS the man with plenty of cash who gets plenty of change.

YOU CANNOT make a young girl’s interest grow by pouring lotion on a bald head.

IN MARRIAGE or any other adversity a nice man’s best points come out, which is very delightful as long as his teeth are not his best point.

NO MAN ever regrets resisting temptation, because no man ever resists a temptation.

NEVER ask a man—just make him tell you.

A MAN kisses whom he may and loves whom he mayn’t.

WHAT a woman wears reveals more than what she says.

RED haired women generally look as if they would like to be kissed, while red haired men look as if they would like to be bald.

THE book of life is illustrated in black and white; dreams are the colour supplement.

THE most tragic moment of a woman’s life is the one in which she realises that she can at last play with fire without getting burnt.

WHEN a woman believes in a man’s fidelity it is not because she trusts him, but because she has confidence in herself.

MOST people would like their own ways and other people’s means.

THERE are not enough men to go round, but some heroes attempt to put things right by going round as much as ever they can.

SUCCESSFUL men take advantage of opportunities—successful women take advantage of successful men.

MOST women start a love affair by having a secret with a man, and end by having secrets from him.

IT IS a woman’s lot to pretend to care less than she does, while a man pretends to care more than he does. They both leave off pretending about the same time.

MEN have privileges—but they have to pay the cab.

THE object of a woman with a past is probably a man with a present.