Chapter 28

Monsieur Loyal, Madame Pernelle, Orgon, Damis, Mariane, Dorine, Elmire, Cleante

Monsieur Loyal [to Dorine]. Hello, my dear sister. Could you please see If your master is in? Dorine. He has company, And I doubt he'll be able to see you now. Monsieur Loyal. I have not come here to cause a row. I don't think that my presence will displease Him; I come, in fact, to put him at ease. Dorine. Your name? Monsieur Loyal. Tell him only that I've come here For Monsieur Tartuffe, and to give him cheer. Dorine [to Orgon]. It's a man who has come quite civilly, On behalf of Monsieur Tartuffe, to see, He says, to your pleasure. Cleante [to Orgon]. You'd best find out Who he is and what he has come here about. Orgon [to Cleante]. Perhaps he has come here to reconcile us. How should I act and what should we discuss? Cleante. Don't let any of your anger appear, And if he speaks of a deal, make him be clear. Monsieur Loyal [to Orgon]. Greetings, sir. May God destroy all your foes And favor you as much as I propose! Orgon [aside to Cleante]. This civil start meets my approbation And foreshadows some accommodation. Monsieur Loyal. At one time I was your father's employee, And this whole house is very dear to me. Orgon. I ask your pardon, sir, but to my shame I'm totally ignorant of your name. Monsieur Loyal. My name is Loyal. I come from Normandy. I'm the bailiff here, in spite of envy. For the last forty years, thanks be to God, I've done my duty and retained by job. And I've come to you, with your permission, To serve this notice of your eviction. Orgon. What! You're here . . . Monsieur Loyal. Let's have no irritation. This is nothing more than notification, An order to evict both you and yours, Put your furniture out and lock the doors, Without pardon or delay to fulfill . . . Orgon. Me! Leave this place? Monsieur Loyal. Yes, monsieur, if you will. This house now belongs, I have ample proof, To your very good friend, Monsieur Tartuffe. He is master and lord of all your wealth By virtue of a deed he showed me himself. It is in due form and cannot be doubted. Damis [to Monsieur Loyal]. What impudence! I'm amazed about it. Monsieur Loyal [to Damis]. You and I, sir, have no business and you'd Best leave things to this man [pointing to Orgon], who's civil and shrewd, And knows too well the duties of my office To wish to oppose himself to justice. Orgon. But . . . Monsieur Loyal [to Orgon]. I know that not even a million Dollars would make you cause a rebellion, And that you will be an honest citizen And let me fulfill the orders I'm given. Damis. You may soon feel upon your black soutane, Monsieur Bailiff, the heavy weight of this cane. Monsieur Loyal [to Orgon]. Command your son to be quiet or depart, Monsieur; I would regret to have to report All this and make these matters more official. Damis [aside]. This Monsieur Loyal seems quite disloyal! Monsieur Loyal. For all worthy men there's a place in my heart, And I would not have wished, sir, to take part In this, except to lift some of your burden, By preventing the chore from falling to one Who might not share my opinion of you And who wouldn't proceed as gently as I do. Orgon. And what could be worse than the evil crime Of evicting me? Monsieur Loyal. I'm giving you time, And until morning I'll hold in abeyance The execution of this conveyance. I shall only come here with ten of my boys To spend the night, without scandal or noise. For the sake of form please bring to me, before You go up to bed, the keys to your door. I'll take care not to disrupt your repose And not to do anything you would oppose. But tomorrow morning you must get set To empty the house, down to the last brochette. My boys will assist you. Each one's a strong lout And will do all he can to help move you out. I'm doing my best to use common sense, And, since I'm treating you with such indulgence, I beg you, sir, to act the same way to me. Let no one bar me from doing my duty. Orgon [aside]. With a happy heart I would at once pay The last hundred francs that are mine today For the power and pleasure of hitting his snout With one absolutely sensational clout. Cleante [quietly, to Orgon]. Go easy, don't make things worse. Damis. My hand itches To get in a fight with these sons of bitches. Dorine. Monsieur Loyal, I think it might become you To have your broad back beaten black and blue. Monsieur Loyal. These wicked words deserve condemnation, And women, too, may earn incarceration. Cleante [to Monsieur Loyal]. Let's end it now; that's enough for today. Hand over the paper, and be on your way. Monsieur Loyal. Until later, then. Heaven keep you in joy! Orgon. May it confound you, and your employer!