Chapter 21

Tartuffe, Elmire, Orgon (under the table)

Tartuffe. You wish to speak with me in here, I'm told. Elmire. Yes. I now have some secrets to unfold, But shut the door before I say a word And look around--we mustn't be overheard. [Tartuffe closes the door and returns.] I don't want another fracas to ensue Like the one that overtook us hitherto. Never before have I been so dismayed! Damis startled me and made me afraid For you. You must have seen that I did my best To disrupt his plan and soothe his unrest. It is true that I was so filled with shame That I never thought of denying his claim, But by the grace of God, I'm nearly sure All is for the best and we're now more secure. The prestige of your name has dispelled the storm, And my husband will never suspect you of harm. Defying those with rumors to foment, He wants us together at every moment. And that is why without blame I can Be alone with you although you're a man, And that allows me to open my heart Willingly to the sweet thoughts you impart. Tartuffe. I find it odd that you have kind words to say; Earlier you treated me in a different way. Elmire. Ah! If you're angry about that rebuff, You know nothing about a woman's love! And how little you know about our intent If you think a weak defense is really meant! At such times our modesty must contend With the tender feelings that triumph in the end. No matter how strongly you make love's claim, In embracing it we always feel some shame. We resist at first, but in our faces It's clear that we'll soon yield to your embraces. Our words and our wishes are often opposed: A refusal may mean we accept what's proposed. No doubt I am making too free a confession And I may be committing an indiscretion, But since my attempt at silence has gone awry, Ask yourself why I sought to pacify Damis, and what made me listen so long And so kindly to your sweet love song? Would I have reacted as you saw me do If the offer of your heart didn't please me too? And what should you be able to conclude From my fervent desire to preclude The marriage that has been announced just now? Isn't it that I'd hate for a wedding vow To come between us, and that I care for you And want nothing at all to split us in two? Tartuffe. There is no pleasure in Heaven above Sweeter than such words from the lips I love; Their honeyed sound flows richly through my senses With the sweetness of the purest essences. The pleasure of pleasing you is my one goal, And my heart finds happiness in that role, But that heart also takes the slight liberty Of daring to doubt this felicity. Perhaps these sweet words are a decorous ruse Designed to disrupt my hymeneal news; And, if I may speak quite freely with you, I won't believe that all you say is true Until I'm assured that you couldn't lie By a few of those favors for which I sigh. Such favors would make me your devotee And a true believer in your fondness for me. Elmire [she coughs to warn her husband]. Do you demand to push on with such great speed, And drain my heart dry by your burning need? I risk my life in proclaiming my love, And for you even that is not enough! Can't you be satisfied with what I say? Must you force me into going all the way? Tartuffe. The less one merits, the more one desires. Mere words will never quench our raging fires. A promised gift is often suspected; We rarely believe it, until we inspect it. I, who so little merit your favors, Doubt the happy outcome of my labors. And I will not believe a thing, my dear, Until you ease my pain to prove you're sincere. Elmire. Good God, your love is too oppressive; It troubles my soul and becomes obsessive! What a crazy power it has on the heart! With what fierce passion it tears me apart! What! Is there no way to stave off your desire? Won't you give me a moment to respire? Do you think it is fair to be so firm, To demand everything and watch me squirm, To take what you want, pushing and pressing, And abusing my weakness in acquiescing? Tartuffe. If you look on me with a kindly heart, Then prove how you feel by playing your part. Elmire. But how can I give you the things you seek Without offending that God of whom you speak? Tartuffe. If it's only God that opposes my desire, I'll think up a way to make him conspire, And that need not restrain your heart, my dear. Elmire. But the decrees of God scare me to tears. Tartuffe. I can dispel your foolish fears, madame, For I know the art of quashing each qualm. Though God forbids certain gratifications, With him one can reach one's accommodations. It is a science to stretch out the strings Of conscience in the service of diverse things And to rectify an evil action With the purity of our intention. Regarding these secrets, I shall instruct you; You need only allow me to conduct you. Satisfy my desire and have no fear; I'll assume the sin and leave your soul clear. [Elmire coughs more loudly.] That's quite a cough, madame. Elmire. Yes, it's a torment. Tartuffe [offering Elmire a piece of candy]. Would it help to have a licorice or mint? Elmire. It's an obstinate illness, and I see That all the mints in the world won't help me Tartuffe. It's certainly troublesome. Elmire. That's for sure! Tartuffe. Your scruples at least are easy to cure: You can be sure that I will keep things quiet-- A deed is evil only if men spy it. The noise of scandal is the source of offense; There is no sin if one sins in silence. Elmire [after having coughed and knocked on the table]. At last I see I'm forced to go astray, And I must consent to let you have your way, And that I cannot hope that short of the deed You will be content and willing to concede. It is very hard to be forced to do it, And in spite of myself to stoop down to it; But since you persist in making me obey, Since you refuse to believe what I say, And since you demand more convincing proof, I'll have to give in and quit acting aloof. If this action causes anyone grief, The blame be on him who refused all relief. The fault most certainly is none of mine. Tartuffe. Yes, madame, I agree and that is fine . . . Elmire. Peek out of the door and see, I beg you, If my spouse is spying on our rendezvous. Tartuffe. Why do you care what he sees or where he goes? He's a man who loves to be led by the nose. Our trysts are something he's proud of achieving, And he'd watch us go to it without believing. Elmire. No matter. Please, go have a look outside; I'd hate to think he's found some place to hide.