Part 2
“‘If you have a good hand get mad, slam down your cards, swear luck is against you, but you’ll “go in a V, if you lose it,” just by way of a “flyer.” Your opponent takes the bait, and, thinking you are bluffing, goes a V better. Now you’ve _got_ him, go the V and an X better; if he has a tolerable good hand he’ll see you and “call.” Say at first, “a small pair.” If they are good take the pool without discovering what else you may have; but if he has more than you first, show your triplets or two pair, as the case may be, and let all see it, that they may know that you did not cheat them, at least.
“‘If you “go in one” and are called, say in a very desponding tone while shuffling your cards, with the pack, “Only a pair of aces,” as if you had not the remotest idea of their being good,--but it’s a pretty safe hand, and if your opponent says they are good, take the pool; if not, then examine his hand to see if he outholds you.
“‘Having had a pretty good run of luck and finding it changing, draw your watch, swear that you have an engagement at such a time, which of course is now past; you are sorry, but will have revenge another time, change in your “chips,” pocket the “ready money,” and go on a “bender.”’
“This bit of sarcasm well delineates the methods of some players at this day.
“_Thirteenth._--Whenever you find yourself between two parties who ‘raise’ each other while you ‘_call along_,’ until this ‘see-sawing’ process finally drives you out, and the other two come to ‘a call,’ be sure and have the _defeated hand exhibited on the table_. The probabilities are they are ‘playing in together,’ and that there is but one _good_ hand, if even that.
“_Fourteenth._--A good poker player never indulges in strong drink, and especially to excess; neither does he talk much, or pay attention to the conversation of others while playing. A deaf player has the advantage of others, for he watches and sees all that is going on, and is not distracted by talkative players, or those who talk _for a purpose_, which many sharp players do. Your Uncle George decides that too much loquacity is indicative of ignorance of the game, inebriety, or sharpness.
“Let me here speak of what I would call _petty wrongs_ that annoy good players. Such as habitually discarding to the wrong place, throwing up hands out of time, looking over a neighbor’s hand, or asking such questions as: Well, what’s the ante? Who’s in? Any one straddled? What does it take now? How many cards did you draw? etc., etc., etc.
“These are annoyances that no gentleman should inflict upon his friends.
“_Fifteenth._--Whenever a new pack of cards is introduced for use, and the first deal shows an unusual number of good hands, or even at any time during the game, whenever an _unusual number_ of good hands are out at the same time, or _two unusually large hands_ are out against each other, it is well not to bet all one has on his hand, though he holds four aces; for the cards may have been ‘put up,’ and he to his sorrow, but too late, might find a straight flush against him. This is called ‘_Ringing in a Cold Deck_.’
“I have in my pocket a slip taken from one of our daily papers giving a description of a game where a ‘cold deck’ was ‘rung in’ for the purpose of robbing one of the party; but, as it resulted, without success, for the gentleman upon whom the attempt was made evidently was an experienced player. I’ll read it to you:
“‘Mr. Guggenheimer, Mr. Rosenbaum, Mr. Levi, Mr. Cohen, and Mr. Einstein were engaged in a little after-dinner game of “draw,” at the residence of the former gentleman. The host had occasion to leave the room for a short time, and when he returned the cards had been dealt for a new hand, and he was included, his approaching footsteps being heard. Mr. Guggenheimer raised the five cards allotted to him, and could scarcely believe his eyes when four kings were revealed. He inspected them carefully, but the entire quartette of monarchs were there.
“‘“Who doled these cards?” inquired Mr. Guggenheimer. “Jakey Einstein,” replied Mr. Rosenbaum.
“‘Once more Mr. Guggenheimer gazed at the tempting array, and not one of the kings had got away. It was his turn to bet; he took a last, long, lingering look--heaved a deep sigh, and gently murmured, “I pass.”’
“_Sixteenth._--Finally, my boy, your Uncle George must say that you stand a very poor chance of holding your own, and no chance of winning, if, in your party, there should be two or three playing, who are ‘in together’; for you play one hand against the best one of two or three others, as the case may be. There are many and ingenious ways in such cases of giving each other information as to the value of each other’s hands. From toe and knee knocking, position of the fingers in holding the cards, position of the cards when laid upon the table, the use of a letter, syllable, word, or sentence; the question you ask, and manner of asking; the position of your segar or toothpick in your mouth, etc., etc., etc. These parties have a sort of a _telephono-graphosto_ kind of information, which, many times, it is impossible to detect.
“I will now try to picture to you a successful, and yet _strictly honest, and liberal poker player_; one with whom many would rather play and _lose_, than to play with others and _win_. You have undoubtedly often heard this remark in your club: ‘Well, there is no use in playing with “Smithy,” for he always wins. I know he is a square, nice man, a liberal player, and one of the best fellows, socially, in the club; but we can’t beat him, and yet we have to play with him.’ Now, my boy; I will explain why this is so; and I may say, the language of the Old Roman will apply here very well:
“The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, But in ourselves, that we are underlings.’
“The fault is not in ‘Smithy,’ as you call him, but in you yourselves, in not giving that attention to the game that your friend ‘Smithy’ does. A good, honest, and successful poker player is one who not only follows the rules of the game--with such variation as circumstances seem to require--but always has his eyes open, his head clear, and knows all that is going on in the party with whom he is playing. He sees and _remembers_ their bets before they discard; he never forgets the number of cards discarded, and he soon learns their general style of playing; the probabilities of their bluffing, etc., etc. This gives him an advantage over all others who are not so observing, and causes him many times to ‘throw up’ a _very large hand_, instead of ‘calling.’ He who says, ‘I know I am beaten, but I will call on principle,’ as a rule will be the loser. Therefore, by closely watching the game, and remembering what takes place, you will acquire that knowledge necessary for success. Remember, my boy, in giving this picture of a good poker player, your uncle does not advise you to continue to play the game. He only wishes to give you such instruction, should you play, as will enable you not only to protect yourself, but make you a stronger player--remembering the old adage, that ‘Whatever is worth doing at all, is worth doing well.’
“A very common error of an inexperienced player, is to ‘start off’ in the game very rashly, ‘going in’ on ‘ace high,’ or even drawing five cards; and also of _crowding his bad luck_ during the game, and especially just before the time for closing, in trying to ‘get hunk.’ This is all wrong, and will surely bring losses and defeat. Play every hand, whether first or last, as though it was your only hand, and with all the care and coolness that I have mentioned of a good player--or of your friend Smithy.”
“Thanks, dear uncle! I have been delighted while listening to you. Of course I was aware of some of the points you have given me; still, the most are entirely new, instructive, and amusing, and explain many things that until now have been dark to me. They also prove to me that there has been cheating in games in which I have played, and explain how some wonderfully large hands have been made--some of which I did not feel satisfied with at the time. Now, while your conversation is fresh in my mind, if you will excuse me I will go to my room and write out a set of rules for directing and governing the playing in our club, which I know all the members will be pleased with.”
“Well, I think no objection will be raised, unless by those of the class I have named; who, as I have said, are found in nearly every club.
“Now having given you so much advice about looking out for the wrongs and irregularities of other players, I can not have you leave without impressing something very important upon your mind, namely: ‘_Above all, watch yourself_.’ It is an old saying that ‘one’s greatest enemy is one’s own self.’ Under no circumstances, therefore, remain in the game after midnight. All players have a right, in accordance with the rules of gaming, to leave off playing at midnight; and no gentleman can object to it. Whether you are ahead, therefore, or behind, QUIT WHEN THE CLOCK STRIKES TWELVE. By so doing, your head will be clear and all right for business on the morrow--remembering that there is another evening coming, for its share of recreation and rational amusement.
“_Finally._--I would advise you to quit the game entirely. From what I have said, you must see clearly that it has a great many more drawbacks than advantages. It has cost your Uncle George much money and time,--more than he ought to have given it,--especially during his younger years in the West and South. Nearly every day’s paper has reports of ruined characters, caused by enjoying ‘a little quiet game,’ or ‘a little game of draw.’ It is impossible to keep those who have a _predisposition to cheat_ out of the games, even of the most fashionable and respectable class of players. Therefore, I say, it would be better for you to quit it entirely.
“As I began by saying you must be sure and _have the cards cut before the deal_, so I close by saying you must be sure and see that _the dealer gives no one more than his complement of cards_. Some dealers are too much in the habit of giving themselves six or more cards; this alone, where all else is square, is a big per cent. ‘in favor of the dealer.’
“If what your Uncle George has said to you will be the means of saving you from becoming the victim of those who ‘cheat at cards,’ or save you from the sufferings and torments of those others I have mentioned, growing out of an undue attachment to the game of ‘Draw Poker,’ or induce you to give it up entirely, he will feel satisfied and happy.”
[Decoration: ten, jack, queen, king and ace of spades]
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