CHAPTER IV.

"----What now remains But that once more we tempt the wat'ry plains, And wandering homewards, seek our safety hence."

DRYDEN.

Amongst the many contested questions which perplex conversation, and seem destined to remain undecided, is comparison between the sum of happiness derivable by those who are easily pleased, from frequently recurring and commonly procurable resources, and that resulting from the seldom tasted but vivid raptures of the fastidious, who, too refined for average gratification, find life a desert, in which, like "angel visits few and long between," the thinly scattered spangles of verdure glow with intensity of freshness amid surrounding gloom. We confess that our own minds suffered vacillation upon this important topic, till, having witnessed the every-day felicity of Henbury Lodge, we were enabled to cast the make-weight of its _beau rivant_ into the scale of "little things."

As a flat road, however, admits of quick driving, we shall not detain the reader unmercifully in describing a scene which presented no alterations of light and shade, no moral vicissitudes of hill and dale, to vary the landscape; but satisfy ourselves with a short sketch of connubial contentment in a welcome-home to Mr. and Mrs. Hartland, who after a brief aberration from their domestic settlement, returned to the delights of clipped hedges, rolled terrace, and trim bowers.

It may be remembered that our wedded pair had each passed the term when people of both sexes in the presumption of life's springtide, talk of marriage as a common event which "comes to all;" and toss their fortunes to and fro, with lavish prodigality, altogether unprophetic of succeeding dearth.

This was precisely the case with _ci-devant_ Miss Robinson, who, having rejected a crowd of aspirants, had begun to feel a chill frost creeping over the season of youth, and the joy of seeing herself now prosperously "_established_," and contemplating a well sized, well furnished mansion, in which she ruled by the style and title of "_Mrs._ Hartland," produced a degree of self-gratulation proportioned to the fears which had preceded her present elevation. She was a common place, prudent woman, and we must not be too severe on the weaknesses which were we, however, so stupid as not to observe, we should exercise no charity in forgiving. We do confess then, though not in the spirit of ill-nature, that no happiness ever transcended that of our recent matron, when seated in a new post-chaise, the pannels of which were like mirrors in which you might have shaved yourself, every strap and brace polished to black satin, postilion light and dapper, dressed in a fresh suit of green and silver, horses prancing, sun shining, she took her joyous course along her own smoothly gravelled approach, armed with a ticket-case of carved ivory in her hand, to perform the first circuit of country visits in return for those which had been unsparingly lavished on the late event. Neither did this gladness perish through its vivacity, as is the case with the generality of powerful stimulants, but there was a constantly recurring bliss in the sounds of "My _own_ house, my _own_ carriage, my _own_ servants," &c. which produced new impression at every repetition.

Mr. Hartland's situation was not less enviable. Having passed all his youthful prime without considering marriage as practicable, he had thought less than any body during early life of changing his condition; and since he had attained competency, and became desirous of uniting himself suitably to a virtuous partner, the difficulties of seeking, finding, choosing, proposing, and wedding, rose upon his view like Alps beyond Alps, and presented such a formidable barrier against hope, that he could not see how the matter was ever to be undertaken, much less how it would ever come to pass.

The husband, therefore, was just as much enchanted as the wife. He felt himself raised in the scale of creation; he was now a person of more consequence than he had ever been before. Then his affections, which had been arrested by his mother's death, and which might be said to have suffered a blockade since that event, were all set flowing again with redoubled tenderness and activity. His former poverty, too, having prevented him from being an object of competition, his vanity had never been excited, and he was a total stranger, in his own person, to those attentions, which, we are sorry to say, are often disgustingly paid to men by the fair sex, when rank or fortune furnishes motive for entrapping them. Mr. Hartland's gratitude, therefore, to Miss Robinson, for having married him, was as sincere as it was unbounded; and thus this favoured pair were, in the language of the nursery tales of olden time, "as happy as the day is long;" reminding us of the spider, who spinning her web from her own vitals, "lives along the line" of her own daily occupation; or (as we are given to comparison), the Hartlands frequently suggested to our memory the Epicurean aspiration of the celebrated Quin, "Oh, that I had a throat half a mile in length, and palate all the way." Now, the moral palate of Henbury's inhabitants extended to the utmost verge of their possessions; and they might be said to taste and relish whatever they found in their path.

They had neither of them seen much of the world, and neither knew any thing of that high and towering intellect, which, like the lofty eagle, quits the level of the plain, and builds its eyrie in an upper world all its own. The Hartlands had sharp common understandings, good nature, and discretion; but they rose not above mediocrity, and were of that class whose _natural_ walk is on the earth. They were _busy_ all day long about every thing; interested alike in the gravest or minutest concerns, and never tortured their brains with any subject of contemplation beyond the reach of sense. Healthful in mind, as well as in body; gay, and continually employed; they talked, and walked, and rode, and drove, dined out, and gave dinners at home, and were never weary of themselves, or of the society around them.

But the cup of existence is never unmixed. If the wormwood leaf float not on its surface, it will be found lying at the bottom. Three years glided by. The first was one of such novelty and incessant excitement, that no yawning chasm was seen, felt, or understood; the second was sometimes slightly tinged by anxiety lest the pleasant hedge-rows of Henbury Lodge should one day encircle another race, and stranger feet should press its smiling lawns; but when a third year closed its barren account with blighted hopes, expectation died away; and though Mr. and Mrs. Hartland were still the envy of the region in which they grew, and were universally declared to be worthy of an annual flitch, it was nevertheless remarked, and especially by Miss Ferret, whose penetration stood high in public regard, that "all was not right at Henbury."

At first her hints conveyed nothing more determinate, than was communicated in the adage, "All is not gold that glisters;" but this had the effect of setting those who were less intimate than herself with the friends whose undefined sorrows she zealously published, writhing with curiosity, while her own gained time for such inquisition as should bring her to the true cause of that change, the effects of which only her quick eye had as yet discerned. Besides, it was more consonant with Miss Ferret's idea of _true friendship_ to set other wits upon the discovery of any thing disagreeable, should such exist, than _directly_ to proclaim it herself; and therefore every purpose was gained of stimulating the industry of other gossips, while her innuendoes, darkly dropped, persuaded the entire vicinage that she knew a great deal more than she chose to reveal, and was only withheld from promulgating to the full extent of her information, by "the sincere regard which she entertained for the Hartlands."

But what is there which a union of talents and diligence will not compass and achieve? Miss Ferret's were soon crowned with success, and happily the cloud that overcast the horizon of Henbury was of that nature which might be trumpeted to the four corners of the earth (if indeed the round world have such convenient recesses for playing hide and seek), without the violation of those feelings which our busy blab professed for her _protegés_.

It was well known throughout the country that both Mr. and Mrs. Hartland were particularly partial to children; so much so, that whenever they appeared, the fond mothers of the neighbourhood used constantly to ring the nursery chimes for their edification or amusement, and many a morning call has been inconveniently protracted to the visitors, for the purpose of "seeing the baby," whose tedious delay after summons issued, and elaborate dress when produced, proved the complete metamorphosis which it had undergone in the interval, before it was considered to be fitly attired for exhibition in the drawing-room. But Miss Ferret, happening to be in company one day when the large family of a neighbouring curate was mentioned, remarked that Mrs. Hartland, who never gave herself the habit of _generalizing_ in conversation, replied rather pensively, "Alas! how unequally the gifts of Providence are distributed!"

Miss Ferret expressed herself to have felt as if she had been _shot_ when this observation fell from her friend; and it furnished a clue by which the whole labyrinth of her secret thoughts came to be developed. Pursuing the light which now glimmered, Miss Ferret immediately acquiesced in the justice of the remark, and proceeded to tell of a gentleman and lady who were the happiest people in the world, "_all but_ having no heirs to their fine estate," and added, "They have been married fully five years, and you may _suppose_ what their feelings are; for we must acknowledge that it is the most natural thing in the world to wish that one's name should not be cut off; and, as I often say, an extinguisher put over one's grave is enough to lower one's spirits; for the grave in itself is sufficiently gloomy in all conscience, without putting an end to the whole _stock_, who might live a little longer, all at a blow."

Mrs. Hartland sighed, while a faint colour was observed to glance across her countenance. After a slight pause, she said, as though she had often pondered the subject, "Yes, hope deferred, they say, maketh the heart sick."

The whole mystery was now unravelled, or as Miss Ferret expressed the same idea in her peculiar phraseology, "the cat was out of the bag;" and it was evident that the Henbury _thorn_ stood revealed, in the childless condition of that house. This point once established, it may be imagined that joy was at its height, on the actual expectation of an event, the delay of which only seemed _now_ to the grateful hearts of Mr. and Mrs. Hartland to have been expressly ordained for the purpose of enhancing its value. How readily we acknowledge the providence of divine interposition when we are pleased!

But we cannot stop to moralize, it is our duty to recount; and if we could bring our minds into full sympathy with those whose history we are narrating, there are few subjects of sufficient importance to alienate attention from the theme of our present consideration. The dread of disappointment rendered Mrs. Hartland very cautious in divulging her hopes; but at length prospects of the most gratifying nature opened to her view, and Miss Ferret received permission to diffuse tidings which appeared to tell the acme of human felicity. Doctors and apothecaries, nurses and nurse-tenders, frocks, pinnafores, cradles, and caps, tops and bottoms, goats' whey, rennet-whey, asses'-milk, cows'-milk, and a thousand other appliances equally interesting of this important season, which was now unequivocally approaching, absorbed the thoughts, and occupied the conversation at Henbury. Mrs. Hartland reclined upon a sofa, and issued her orders from thence through the faithful Ferret, with as much pomp and ceremony as ever hung upon the Ottoman Divan; while Mr. Hartland's anxious office was to forestal the newspapers, seize upon the letter-bag, and prepare every visitor by regular instruction upon the topics of their discourse, lest the slightest imprudence in communicating the current rumours of the day, might disturb the nervous system of his wife.

To this end, he generally took his station in an ante-room in which a sort of probationary noviciate was performed, and people, after being examined, admonished, and duly qualified, received admission tickets to the presence chamber.

As the fulness of time advanced, several weighty consultations were held, which called forth every power of taste and understanding which the Hartlands possessed, to meet the opposite arguments which were propounded in them. Two debates of longer and more difficult deliberation than all preceding, were however happily adjusted to the entire satisfaction of the parties, and the perfect reconcilement of contending opinions. In one of these it was decreed that if a son were to bless the parent eyes, he should be christened Algernon Robinson; and if the soft smiles of a daughter were destined to awaken love, rather than ambition, Melasina was to be her name. Mr. Hartland's father had unfortunately been called Peter, Mrs. Hartland's progenitor Jacob; and the reader will admit that two more impracticable appellations were never unluckily brought together to perplex the counsels of a pair who were looking forward with eager raptures to the baptismal font, and habitually impressed at the _same time_, with the propriety of sending family echoes to the latest posterity.

How to harmonize sounds without compromising respect was the question, and no small exertion of skill did it require to balance the pros and cons. Many cogent reasons were urged by Sir Roger and Lady Goodman for the regular descent of Peter, Jacob, or both; while a hint, which gave a climax to perplexity was thrown out by the latter, who said that she should not think the addition of her worthy husband's name an _unnatural_ appendage by way of compliment to him. Mrs. Hartland's rest was broken by this harassing choice of evils. At last she resolved on bursting her fetters, and declared the bold resolve to waive precedent, and not in compliance with an antiquated prejudice, entail on future generations the quaint appellations, which she determined to sacrifice to what she considered the true interests of her son.

"The junction of sur-names," said she, "may appease the shades of his dead grandfathers, and Goodman may bring up the rear. Whether boy or girl, the only sounds which need be uttered shall delight the ear, and all the rest may be smuggled away under initial letters. I am _resolved_ on Algernon or Melasina."

Mr. Hartland was in the habit of acquiescing in the decrees of his better half: and remembered how pleasantly his favourite Sterne has declared that a man who might have made a flourishing figure in the world as an Alexander might be Nicodemus'd into nothing. He therefore gave his assent and consent to Algernon for the male sex, Melasina for the female, and the debate was at an end.

The second dispute of magnitude which was settled about the same time, related to sponsors. Mr. Hartland belonged to a noble house, and the Earl of Marchdale, who held a high office under government, was his first cousin. Those who know any thing of the world, are aware that consanguinity to great men, unless in the nearest degrees, is more frequently a disadvantage than the contrary. A brother cannot be left in obscurity, and perhaps a nephew may have some chance of preferment, but cousins are generally shaken off and made to know their distance. Mr. Hartland's mother had once made an effort to seek for her son the countenance and protection of his noble relative, but received such peremptory repulse that a second experiment was never hazarded.

Times however were changed, and circumstances altered likewise. It had reached Lord Marchdale's ears that Mr. Hartland was no longer a poor man; and curiosity prompted him to ask where the newly acquired property of his kinsman was situated, which led to information that it lay in a certain county where he wished to increase his influence. Something a kin to shame at the recollection of former rough treatment exerted towards his relation, withheld his Lordship from offering his congratulations on an accession of fortune which might immediately suggest a remembrance of his former unkindness; but he formed the benevolent design of seizing on the first convenient opportunity for some token of conciliatory recognition of his cousin. Mr. Hartland's marriage would have afforded an auspicious occasion, but unluckily Lord Marchdale was making a tour on the Continent when that event took place, and to have written an epithalamium after his return, might not have had the desired effect.

"I should not have thanked any one for wishing _me_ joy on my nuptials, six months after date," thought his Lordship; and acting in this instance by the rule of doing to others, as he desired others should do towards him, he waited--and waited not in vain. Actuated by the motives to which we have alluded, to make more minute inquisition into the affairs of his uncle's only son than had been his wont, he became acquainted with the bright hopes which, like a morning in Spring, were breaking over the destiny of one whose prosperity promised now to transcend his own, for he was childless. Lord Marchdale therefore lost no more time, but hastened on receiving the intelligence to write the following epistle:

"DEAR FRANK,

"I am not one of those who advocate the perpetuation of family feuds. Your poor father and mine never agreed, but that is no reason why you and I should feel any hostility towards each other, though I fear that appearances are against me. My utter inability to serve you, when Mrs. Hartland applied to me in your behalf, having formerly obliged me reluctantly to disappoint her wishes, I learn now, with sincere satisfaction, that you no longer stand in need of aid, but are enabled proudly to raise your head amongst England's best protectors, her resident country gentlemen. I hear also the interesting news, that your happiness is likely to experience increase through an unexpected event; and am desirous that the young stranger should be a bond of re-union between us. If a boy, I wish that you may name him Algernon; and represent me at his baptism as godfather. If Mrs. Hartland should present you with a daughter, Lady Marchdale requests me to announce her disposition to stand sponsor. Believe me, dear Frank,

"Very truly yours,

"MARCHDALE."

The familiar style of this letter did not impose on Mr. Hartland, who saw through the kindliness of its contents; but it was agreed in full conclave, that it would be imprudent in the extreme to repel this advance; and as the possibility of succeeding to the Marchdale titles and estates had often in secret served as foundation for air built castles, which soothed Mrs. Hartland's solitary hours, she had already anticipated a part of her noble connexion's petition, by resolving on giving her child, should it prove a son, the only high sounding name in the family. Nothing could be more flattering to maternal ambition than the coincidence, which resolved all past solicitude into the pleasing certainty, that the expected progeny was to be ushered into life with due pretension. If a son, as it was earnestly prayed that the offspring should prove, Lord Marchdale and Sir Roger Goodman were to be his sureties; if a girl, Lady Marchdale and Lady Goodman were to perform the like office; and Miss Ferret, of whose adhesive assiduities it was impossible to get rid, was to be an honorary or supplemental corps of reserve. Nothing would tempt her to abandon the honour of "standing for the child;" and, to pacify her, Mrs. Hartland consented to her bearing it to the font, where she hoped that her over-zealous friend might be mistaken for a mere proxy.

All things being prepared, and the minds of all composed into tranquillity, Mrs. Hartland felt the moment arrived which was to crown her hopes and raise her consequence. But an event of such importance deserves a separate Chapter, and therefore we close this. Muffle the knocker, scatter straw round the house and offices, forbid all approach of horse or wheel that might disturb the anxious hour, and commit the invalid, with our blessing, to her medical attendants.