Tales and Novels — Volume 04

Sir John Bull was a native of Ireland, _bred_ and _born_ in the city of Cork. His real name was Phelim O’Mooney, and he was by profession a _stocah_, or walking gentleman; that...

As I was not, as formerly, asleep in my carriage on deck, when we came within sight of the Irish shore, I saw, and hailed with delight, the beautiful bay of Dublin. The moment w...

Early one morning, after having passed a feverish night, tortured in my dreams by the voices and faces of the people who had surrounded me the preceding day, I was awakened by t...

In vain I attempted to interest myself in my domestic affairs; the silence and solitude of my own castle appeared to me intolerably melancholy, after my return from Ormsby Villa...

To preserve the continuity of my story, and not to fatigue the reader with the journals of my comings and goings from Ormsby Villa to Glenthorn Castle, and from Glenthorn Castle...

I have not thought it necessary to record every visit that I received from all my country neighbours; but I must now mention one, which led to important consequences; a visit fr...

If, among those who maybe tempted to peruse my history, there should be any mere novel readers, let me advise them to throw the book aside at the commencement of this chapter; f...

“Le vrai n’est pas toujours vraisemblable,” says an acute observer of human affairs. The romance of real life certainly goes beyond all other romances; and there are facts which...

When the first grey light of morning began to make objects indistinctly visible, I thought I saw the door of my apartment open very softly. I was broad awake, and kept my eyes f...

“Es tu contente à la fleur de tes ans? As tu des goûts et des amusemens? Tu dois mener une assez douce vie. L’autre en deux mots répondait ‘Je m’ennuie.’ C’est un grand mal, dit...

After my marriage, my old malady rose to an insupportable height. The pleasures of the table were all that seemed left to me in life. Most of the young men of any _ton_, either...

The philosophy we learn from books makes but a faint impression upon the mind, in comparison with that which we are taught by our own experience; and we sometimes feel surprised...

I could now boast that I had travelled all over Ireland, from north to south; but, in fact, I had seen nothing of the country or of its inhabitants. In these commodious parties...

Upon my arrival at Y---- house, I found two ladies in the drawing-room, in earnest conversation with Lady Y----. In their external appearance they were nearly what my friend had...

We have laid down the general law of bulls and blunders; but, as there is no rule without an exception, we may perhaps allow an exception in favour of little Dominick.

“Wild wit, invention ever new,” appear in high perfection amongst even the youngest inhabitants of an Irish cottage. The word _wit_, amongst the lower classes of Ireland, means...

We presume that we have successfully disputed the claims imposed upon the public, in behalf of certain spurious alien blunders, pretending to be native, original Irish bulls; an...

In the morning I awoke with a confused notion that something extraordinary had happened; but it was a good while before I recollected myself sufficiently to be perfectly sensibl...

Upon looking over our last chapter on practical bulls, we were much concerned to find that we have so few Irish and so many foreign blunders. It is with still more regret we per...

In one of the coaches which travel between Bath and London, an Irish, a Scotch, and an English gentleman happened to be passengers. They were well informed and well-bred, had se...

Perhaps the reader may wish to see as well as hear the petitioner. At first view you might have taken him for a Spaniard. He was tall; and if he had been a gentleman, you would...

Bred up in luxurious indolence, I was surrounded by friends who seemed to have no business in this world but to save me the trouble of thinking or acting for myself; and I was c...

When I awoke, I thought that I was on shipboard; for the first sound I heard was that of the sea booming against the castle walls. I arose, looked out of the window of my bedcha...

I remember to have heard, in some epilogue to a tragedy, that the tide of pity and of love, whilst it overwhelms, fertilizes the soul. That it may deposit the seeds of future fe...

No _well-informed_ Englishman would laugh at the blunders of such a character as little Dominick; but there are people who justify the assertion, that laughter always arises fro...

One morning--it was the day after my physicians had pronounced me out of all danger--Crawley sent me a note by Ellinor, congratulating me upon my recovery, and begging to speak...

“What new wonders? What new misfortunes, Ellinor?” said I, as Ellinor, with a face of consternation, appeared again in the morning in my room, just as I was going down to breakf...

Madame de Sevigné observes, that there are few people sufficiently candid, or sufficiently enlightened, to distinguish, in their judgments of others, between those faults and mi...

“‘Twas doing nothing was his curse;-- Is there a vice can plague us worse? The wretch who digs the mine for bread, Or ploughs, that others may be fed, Feels less fatigue than th...

We lamented, in our last chapter, that there is nothing new under the sun; yet, perhaps, the thoughts and phraseology of the following story may not be familiar to the English.

Having proved by a perfect syllogism that the Irish must blunder, we might rest satisfied with our labours; but there are minds of so perverse a sort, that they will not yield t...

The difficulty of selecting from the vulgar herd of Irish bulls one that shall be entitled to the prize, from the united merits of pre-eminent absurdity, and indisputable origin...

Unfortunately _for me_, the rebellion in Ireland was soon quelled; the nightly scouring of our county ceased; the poor people returned to their duty and their homes; the occupat...

As we have not hitherto been successful in finding original Irish bulls in language, we must now look for them in conduct. A person may be guilty of a solecism without uttering...

Gaming relieved me from that insuperable listlessness by which I was oppressed. I became interested--I became agitated; in short, I found a new kind of stimulus, and I indulged...

“Who, too deep for his hearers, still went on refining, And thought of convincing, whilst they thought of dining; In short, ‘twas his fate, unemployed or in place, sir, To eat m...