Chapter 2

THINGS thus commenced, the supper next was served; From playful tricks the painter never swerved, But placed himself at table 'twist the two, And jest and frolicking would still pursue. To women, wine, and fun, said he, I drink; Put round the toast; none from it e'er must shrink; The order was obeyed; the glass oft filled The party soon had all the liquor swilled:

THE wife just then, it seems, no servant kept; More wine to get, she to the cellar stept. But dreading ghosts, she Simonetta prayed; To light her down, she was so much afraid.

THE painter was alone with Alice left, A country belle, of beauty not bereft: Slight, nicely made, with rather pretty face, She thought herself possessed of ev'ry grace, And, in a country town, she well might get The appellation of a gay coquette.

THE wily spark, perceiving no one near; Soon ran from compliment to sweet and dear; Her lips assailed;--the tucker drew aside, And stole a kiss that hurt her husband's pride, Who all beheld; but spouses, that are sage, No trifles heed, nor peccadillos page; Though, doubtless, when such meetings are possessed, The simple kiss gives room to dread the rest; For when the devil whispers in the ear Of one that sleeps, he wakes at once to fear.

THE husband, howsoe'er, at length perceived Still more concessions, which his bosom grieved; While on the neck a hand appeared to please, The other wandered equally at ease; Be not offended, love! was often said; To frantick rage the sight her sposo led, Who, beating in his hat, was on the move To sally forth, his wrath to let them prove, To thrash his wife, and force her spark to feel his nervous arm could quickly make him reel.

BE not so silly, whispered t'other Wight; To stir up noise could ne'er be reckoned right; Be quiet now: consider where we are; Keep close, or else you'll all our pleasures mar; Remember, written 'tis, By others do The same as you would like they should by you; 'Tis proper in this place we should remain Till all is hushed in sleep: then freedom gain; That's my opinion how we ought to act Are you not half a cuckold now, in fact? Fair Alice has consented:-that's enough; The rest is mere compliance, nonsense, stuff!

THE husband seemed the reasons to approve; Some slight attempts the lady made to move; No time for more. What then? you ask:--Why, then-- The lady put her cap to rights agen; No mark appeared suspicion to awake, Except her cheek a scarlet hue might take. Mere trifle that; from talking it might spring; And other causes, doubtless, we could bring.

ONE of the belles, howe'er, who went for wine, Smiled, on returning, at the blushing sign: The painter's wife; but soon they filled each glass, And briskly round the bottle seemed to pass; They drank the host, the hostess, and the FAIR, Who, 'mong the three, should first her wishes share.

AT length, a second time the bottle failed; The hostess' fear of ghosts again prevailed, And mistress Alice now for escort went, Though much she wished the other to have sent; With Simonetta she was forced to change, And leave the painter at his ease to range.

THIS dame at first appeared to be severe Would leave the room, and feigned to be sincere; But when the painter seized her by the gown, She prudence showed, and feared he'd pull her down; Her clothes might tear, which led her to remain: On this the husband scarcely could contain; He seemed resolved his hiding place to leave; But instantly the other pulled his sleeve; Be easy friend, said he, it is but right, That equal favours we should have to-night, And cuckoldom should take you to his care, That we alike in ev'ry thing may fare.

ARE we not brothers in adventure, pray? And such our solemn promises, to-day. Since one the painter clearly has disgraced, The other equally should be embraced. In spite of ev'ry thing you now advance, Your wife as well as mine shall have a dance; A hand I'll lend, if wanting it be found; Say what you will, I'll see she has her round. She had it then:--our painter tried to please; The lady equally appeared at ease; Full time the others gave, and when they came, More wine was not required by spark nor dame; 'Twas late, and for the day enough he'd done; Good night was said: their course the belles had run; The painter, satisfied, retired to rest; The gay gallants, who lay so long distressed, The wily hostess from the closet drew, Abashed, disconsolate, and cuckolds too; Still worse to think, with all their care and pain; That neither of them could his wish obtain, Or e'en return the dame what she procured Their wives, whom she so cleverly allured.

HERE ends our tale; the business is complete; In soft amours success alone is sweet.

* The Saint Ampoule, or Holy Ampulla, a vial said to have descended from heaven, in which was oil for anointing the kings of France at the coronation, and formerly kept at Rheims.

ETEXT EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS:

By others do The same as you would like they should by you The wish to please is ever found the same We scarcely good can find without alloy When passion prompts, few obstacles can clog