Swetnam, the Woman-hater, arraigned by women A new comedie, acted at the Red Bull, by the late Queenes seruants.

Part 2

Chapter 23,831 wordsPublic domain

_Iag._ My Lord _Lorenzo_!

_Lor._ Rise, my worthy Friend, I haue made proofe of thy vnfayned loue.

_Iag._ Th’exceeding happinesse to see you well, Is more then ioy can vtter: On my knees I beg your pardon for th’vnciuill speech My ignorant tongue committed.

_Lor._ No, thus I’le be reueng’d. _Imbraces him._ I know thou louest mee, and I must inioyne Thy loue vnto an act of secresie, Which you must not denie.

_Iag._ Sir, I obey.

_Lor._ Then thus it is, I must coniure your faith, And priuacie in my arriuall yet, For I intend a while in some disguise To obserue the times and humors of the Court.

_Iag._ How meanes your Grace? can you indure to see The Court eclipst with clouds of discontent, Your father mourne your absence, and all hearts Ore-whelm’d with sorrow, and you present, Sir?

_Lor._ _Iago_, I’me resolu’d: Therefore what shape or humor I assume, Take you no notice that I am the Prince.

_Iag._ Sir, I consent, And vow to your concealement.

_Lor._ It is enough, my brother’s dead, thou saist: I haue some teares to spend vpon his Tombe, We are the next vnto the Diadem, That’s the occasion I obscure my selfe. Happie’s that Prince, that ere he rules, shall know, VVhere the chiefe errors of his State doe grow.

_Exeunt._

ACT. II.

_Enter_ LISANDRO, _and_ LORETTA, _seuerall_.

_Lor._ My Lord _Lisandro_, y’are met happily.

_Lis._ _Loretta!_ welcome, welcome as my life. How fares my dearest Saint?

_Lor._ Like a distressed Prisoner, whose hard fate Hath bard her from all ioy in losing you, A torment which she counts insufferable.

_Lis._ This separation, like the stroke of death, Makes a diuorce betwixt my soule and mee; For how can I liue without her In whom my life subsists? For neuer did the Load-stone more respect The Northerne Pole, by natures kind instinct, Then my affections truly sympathize With her, the Starre of my felicitie.

_Lor._ Therefore shee prayes you, henceforth to desist, Respecting your owne safetie: VVorthie Prince, The times are troublesome and dangerous: As for her selfe, she’s arm’d to vndergoe All malice that for you they can inflict.

_Lis._ Oh my _Loretta_! thou appli’st a balme VVorse then the wound it selfe: It is impossible For me to liue at all but in her sight. But was this all shee said, That I should leaue her? Death could not ha’ spoke A word more fatall to my soule and mee: Let her inioyne mee to some other taske, Tho it were greater then the sonne of Ioue Did for his Step-dame _Iuno_ euer act: Let it be any thing, so I may not leaue Her sweet societie.

_Lor._ Then, here my Lord, read this.

_Lis._ I kisse thee for her sake, whose beautious hand Hath here inclos’d so mild and sweet a doome. See what a negatiue command shee hath Impos’d vpon my sloth to visit her, As if she taxed my neglect so long: But pardon, deare _Leonida_, I come To intimate thy fauor for my stay, Tho thou wert garded with an host of men. But how? I must disguise me in some other shape, For this is noted, and too full of danger. _Loretta_, Who’s admitted best accesse Vnto thy Lady?

_Lor._ Frier _Anthonie_, Her Graces Confessor.

_Lis._ As I could wish: I know the Frier well; I must assume that shape; It is the best: _Loretta_, weare this Iewell for my sake; Nay, prethee take it, not as recompence, But as a token of that future good Shall crowne thy merits, with such height and honour, Fortune shall be asham’d, and held a Foole, To suffer poore desert to ouer-match her. _Exit Lis._

_Lor._ I humbly thanke your Grace: Why, here’s a gift Able to make a Saint turne Oratrix, And pleade ’gainst Chastitie: I must confesse, _Lisandro_ is a Noble Gentleman, and ha’s good gifts,

And is, indeed, gracious with my Ladie: Yet for all that, wee poore Gentlewomen, that haue no other fortunes but our attendance, must now and then make the best vse of our places: wee haue president, and very lately too. But who comes here? my Lord _Nicanor_?

_Enter Nicanor_.

Here’s another Client——I must deuise some quaint deuice for him, to delude his frostie apprehension—— Oh I ha’t.

_Nic._ _Loretta_, how is’t, wench? How thriues my suit, ha? Hast broke with thy Lady yet?

_Lor._ He takes me for a Shee-Broker, but I’le fit him: I haue my Lord, but find her so obdure, That when I speake, she turnes away her eare, As if her mind were fixt on something else. The other day, finding her Grace alone, I came and mou’d your suit; told her how deare She stood in your affection; and protested, You lou’d her more then all the World beside.

_Nic._ Good, good: proceed.

_Lor._ At this she answer’d not a word, But kept her eye still fixt vpon me; Then I begun agen, and told her Grace (As from my selfe) how much your Honour Had merited her fauour by desert; How great you stood ith’ generall eye of all, And one selected by the King her Father, (Since Prince _Lorenzo’s_ death) to personate The King of Sicill after his decease.

_Nic._ Excellent good i’faith. Then what said shee?

_Lor._ At this, I might perceiue her colour change From red to pale, and then to red againe, As if disdaine and rage had faintly stroue In her confused brest for victorie. At length, hauing recal’d her spirits, She broke forth into these words; What, wilt thou Conspire with youth and frailtie, to inforce The rule of my affection ’gainst my will? Tho’ my body be confin’d his prisoner, Yet my mind is free. With that, shee charg’d mee That I neuer should hereafter vrge your suit; And this was all the comfort that I could From her with all my diligence attaine.

_Nic._ Cold comfort, Wench, but ’tis the generall fault Of women all, to make shew of dislike To those they most affect: and in that hope Thou shalt to her againe: No Citie Euer yeelded at first skirmish. Before, You came but to a parley, thou shalt now Giue an assault: There’s nothing batters more A womans resolution, then rich gifts; Then goe, _Loretta_.

_Lor._ 'Las, my Lord, you know——

_Nic._ Feare nothing, Wench, giue her this chaine of pearle, With it my selfe.

_Lor._ My Lord, I’le see what I can doe with her, But—

_Nic._ What, _Loretta_? Oh, you looke for a fee: Here, take this Gold: And if thou canst preuaile, (Harke in thine eare) When I am King——

_Lor._ I thanke your Lordship: Ha, ha, ha.— _Exit Lor._

_Nic._ This womans weaknesse was wel wrought vpon, Her words may take effect: ’Tis often seene That women are like Diamonds; nothing cuts so soone As their owne powder: yet there is one more Will make a happy second, Frier _Anthonie_ her Confessor; such men as hee Can preuaile much with credulous Penitents In causes of perswasion. Hoe, within?

_Enter Seruant._

_Scan._ Your Lordship call?

_Nic._ Bid Frier _Anthonie_ Come visit mee with all speed possible, I could not thinke vpon a better Agent. Their seeming sanctitie makes all their acts Sauour of Truth, Religion, Pietie, And proue that loue’s a heauenly Charitie, Without which there’s no safetie. Here he comes.

_Enter_ Lisandro _like a Frier_.

_Lis._ The benediction of the blessed Saints Attend your honour.

_Nic._ Welcome, holy Frier.

_Lis._ And crowne your wishes to your hearts desire.

_Nic._ Amen, _Anthonio_, I’le say Amen to that; but yet the meanes To make mee happy, lies within thy power.

_Lis._ Your Honour may command mee.

_Nic._ Then ’tis thus; Thou know’st with what a generall consent Of all Sicilia I was prelected By my dread Soueraigne, to espouse the faire Yet fond _Leonida_; granting me for dower The Crowne of Sicil, after his decease.

_Lis._ I hope, my Lord, there’s none dares question that.

_Nic._ To which intent, how many hopefull Princes Haue beene non-suted, onely for my sake? And to preuent all meanes of their accesse, Establish’d mee her Guardian: Now, the Princesse, Although I haue her Person, yet her Heart I find estrang’d from mee, and all my loue Is quitted with contempt.

_Lis._ The Heauens forbid.

_Nic._ It is forbidden both by Heauen and Earth, And yet Shee do’s it; and thou know’st then, Frier, My hopes are frustrate. Therefore (holy Man) Thou art her Counsel-Closet, her Confessor, Of reuerend opinion with the Princesse.

_Lis._ I doe conceiue your Honour.

_Nic._ Be my Orator.

_Lis._ In what I may, my Lord.

_Nic._ If thou preuail’st, I le make thee Metropolitane of Sicil.

_Lis._ It shall be all my care.

_Nic._ Then farewell, Father. _Exit Nic._

_Lis._ All my prayers attend yee. So, here’s the fence throwne open; now my way Is made before mee: Godamercy Cowle; It is no maruell tho’ the credulous World Thought themselues safe from danger, when they were Inuested with this habit, ’tis the best, To couer, or to gaine a free accesse, That can be possible in any proiect. How finely I haue guld my Politician, That couets Loue, onely to gaine a Crowne? But if my Loue proue constant, Ile withstand All his desires with a more powerfull hand. _Exit._

_Enter_ LEONIDA _and_ LORETTA.

_Le._ Tell me, _Loretta_, Art thou sure ’twas he?

_Lor._ Madame, I liue not else.

_Le._ Thou do’st delude My feares with fond impossibilities: Prethee resolue me truly, I do long Most infinitely.

_Lor._ Not a syllable more now, And ’twould saue your life: not be-beleeu’d?

_Le._ Nay, sweet _Loretta_. Troth, I doe beleeue thee.

_Lor._ Discredited? I could fight with any liuing creature In this quarrell ’tis so iust.

_Le._ Haue I deseru’d No more respect, then to be trifled thus? Come, prethee tell me.

_Lor._ Yes? to delude Your feares with fond impossibilities?

_Le._ Nay, now thou tortur’st me.

_Lor._ Well, I haue done. But leaue your sighes, your heigh-ho’s, and ay-me’s: For I haue newes will warme you like the Sunne, And make you open like the Marigold.

_Le._ Why, now thou rauish’st me.

_Lor._ I heard you not cry out yet.

_Le._ Thou takest such a delight in crossing me.

_Lor._ 'Faith, now you talke of Crosses, Ile tell you, You haue chosen a Husband, so handsome, so complete, As if he had beene pickt Out of the Christ-Crosse row.

_Le._ As how, I prethee?

_Lor._ Why, Madame, thus:

Ile begin with A. and so proceed to the latter end of the Alphabet, comparing his good parts as thus: for A. hee is Amiable, Bountifull, Courteous, Diligent, Eloquent, Faithfull, Gracious, Humble, Iouiall, Kind, Louing, Magnanimous, Noble, Patient, Quiet, Royall, Secret, Trustie, Vigilant, Wittie, and Xceeding Youthfull. Now for Z, he’s zealous: so I conclude, pray God hee bee not Iealous.

_Le._ An excellent obseruation.

_Lor._ Who doe you think’s in loue with you? The old Dragon _Nicanor_, that watches the fruit of your _Hesperides_.

_Le._ Oh, that newes is stale.

_Lor._ He met but iust now, and would needs know, What returne I had made of his Aduenture. But I deuised such a Tale for my old Marchant, Able to make a Bankrout at report, But he notwithstanding fraughts me agen, With that he was not able, but with this, This Chaine of Pearle.

_Le._ Prethee, away with it, Ile not be chain’d to him.

_Lor._ Faith, and ’tis true, a Chaine is the worst Gift A Louer can send his Mistris, ’tis such an Embleme Of bondage hereafter. Who’s that?

_Enter_ LISANDRO.

_Le._ Father.

_Lis._ How fares my worthy Daughter?

_Le._ Eu’n as one Deuoted vnto sorrow, griefe and mone.

_Lis._ Then I must blame you, Ladie, you doe ill, To blast those Rosiall blossomes. Will you kill This gift of Nature, Beautie in the prime?

_Le._ Father, I vnderstand not what you say: The other day you talkt of Penitence, Commended Patience, Sorrow and Contrition, As Antidotes against the soules decay: And now, me thinkes, you speake of no such thing.

_Lis._ Mistake me not, deare Daughter, I spake then, Onely to mortifie the sinfull minde, But now I come with comfort, to restore Your fainting spirits that were grieu’d before: But Daughter, I must chide you.

_Le._ Father, why?

_Lis._ For your neglect, and too much crueltie To one that dearely loues you.

_Le._ Whom in the name of wonder?

_Lor._ On my life, This Frier’s made an agent in my suit.

_Lis._ The hope of Sicill, Map of true Nobilitie, Patterne of Wisdome, Grace and Grauitie.

_Le._ You prayse him highly, ha’s he ne’r a name?

_Lis._ Yes, is’t my Lord _Nicanor_.

_Le._ Oh, is’t he? His gray head shewes his wisdomes grauitie: And are you made his Agent, His Aduocate, to play the spokesman? Fie.

_Lis._ Daughter, this is a worke of Charitie, A holy action to combine in one: Two different hearts in holy Vnion.

_Le._ Frier, no more. I doe not like of these perswasions, Either ya’re not the same you seeme to be, Or all your Actions are Hypocrisie, My Faith is past alreadie, and my heart Ingag’d vnto a farre more worthy man: _Lisandro_ is the Prince my loue hath wonne.

_Lis._ Then here the Frier concludes: my taske is done.

_Le._ _Lisandro_, my deare Loue!

_Lis._ The same, sweet Princesse.

_Le._ Oh, you were too aduentrous, dearest Loue, What made you vndertake this hard attempt?

_Lis._ Your loue, sweet Lady, That makes all things easie.

_Le._ Oh, I am made immortall with thy sight: Here let me euer liue: I feare not now The worst that Fate or Malice can afflict: I haue enough, hauing thy companie.

_Lis._ And when I leaue to loue you, vertuous Madame, Vpon that minute, let me leaue to liue, That loue and life may both expire together.

_Lor._ Come, leaue your prating and protesting, And get you both in, and be naught awhile. ’Tis dangerous talking here in publike, Good Frier, look my Ladie dye no Nun. _Exit Le. & Lis._ Heigho! now could I wish my Sweet-heart Heere too, I feele such a tickling, somewhere About me: if he were here now, I would Neuer cast such an vnwilling deniall vpon him As I haue done, hauing so good a president as I haue. But stay, who’s this? As true as I liue, ’tis he. Oh, sweet Rogue, thou art come In the happiest minute.

_Enter_ SCANFARDO.

_Scan._ Am I, _Loretta_? Masse, I like that well. What, all alone? I like that better too. But where’s the Princesse?

_Lor._ Oh, she’s safe enough!

_Scan._ Is she indeed? I like that best of all.

_Lor._ And so do’s shee, I warrant yee, Or any woman else, that’s in her Case: ha, ha, ha!

_Scan._ There’s something in the wind now, that you laugh at.

_Lor._ Nothing indeed, sweet Loue: but ha, ha! I laugh at an odde Iest.

_Scan._ Come, I must know’t.

_Lor._ 'Deed but you must not.

_Scan._ Why? Dare you not trust me?

_Lor._ Yes, I dare: but As you are a man, reueale it not.

_Scan._ In troth, Ime angry, that you should mistrust me.

_Lor._ The Frier, the Frier: ha, ha, ha! He that the Lord imploy’d to be his Agent, Who doe you thinke it was?

_Scan._ Father _Anthonie_, wast not?

_Lor._ The Deuill it was: no faith, It was, ha, ha, ha! It was no other, then _Lisandro_ Prince of _Naples_, That stole to my Lady in that Habit, And guld your Lord most palpably.

_Scan._ Is’t possible? And where are they now?

_Lor._ Why? faith th’are eu’n at, Ha, ha, ha, ha! But good Sweet-heart, be silent.

_Scan._ Not a syllable I: it was a bold attempt, Knowing ’twas death, if but discouered once. But come, Sweet-heart, weele eu’n doe, As our betters haue done before vs, The example is easly followed, Hauing so good a Schoole-mistris. Shall we to bed?

_Lor._ Fye, seruant, how you talke? Troth you are to blame, to offer to assault The chastitie of any Gentlewoman, Vpon aduantage.

_Scan._ Pox, leaue this forc’d modesty: for by this hand, I must enioy you now before we part.

_Lor._ I haue so farre ingag’d my selfe, you know, ’Tis now vaine to resist.

_Scan._ Why, now I like thee well. Where shall we meet?

_Lor._ In the with-drawing Chamber, there I lye.

_Scan._ Goe then, Ile follow.

_Lor._ Ile put out the light.

_Scan._ No matter, I shall find the way i’ the darke. Here was a strange discouerie but indeed, What will not women blab to those they loue? I am very loth to leaue my sport to night, And yet more loth to lose that rich reward My Lord will giue for this discouerie, Chiefly to be reueng’d vpon his riuall: Ile not forsake it, Venerie is sweet. But he that has good store of gold and wealth, May haue it at command, and not by stealth. _Exit._

_Enter_ Lisandro _and_ Leonida.

_Lis._ ’Tis late, deare Loue.

_Le._ You shall not part from me, Good sooth, you shall not. Frier _Anthonie_, You say, is faithfull: for _Loretta’s_ truth I dare ingage my life.

_Lis._ Why, so you doe; Should she proue false, both yours and mine, you know, Are forfeit to the Law.

_Le._ You are secure. Mistrust not then: true loue is void of feare. No danger can afflict a constant mind. This is no durance, no imprisonment, Rather a Paradise in ioying thee: My libertie alone consists in thee.

_Lis._ That is the reason, Ime so iealous, Sweet, Since in my freedome both our liues remaine. As for my selfe, what perill could be thought, I would not vndergoe to gaine your loue? Were it to scale the flaming Ætna’s top: Whose sulphurous smoke kils with infection, Cut through the Northerne Seas, or shoote the Gulfe? Or——

_Le._ I doe beleeue thee, Sweet.

_Lis._ But yet this houre Is not frequented by your Confessor, there lyes the danger.

_Le._ I ha’ confest to thee, from morne till night, From night till morne againe, all my transgression.

_Enter_ Nicanor.

_Lis._ Were I your Confessor, I know you would Both sinne, and be confest.

_Nic._ Breake ope the doore.

_Lis._ By Heauen, we are betrai’d.

_Le._ Oh my deare Loue.

_Lis._ My thoughts presag’d as much. What shall we doe? _Enter_ Nicanor _and a Guard_.

_Le._ Do not resist, _Lisandro_, stand: the worst, We can but dye. Oh, this _Loretta_, false, inhumane wretch!

_Nic._ Lay hands vpon them both. Is’t so indeed? Is this the zeale of your Confession? I feare, death giues the absolution.

_Le._ Hence, doting Foole, more welcome far is death, Then to bee linkt to Ages Leprosie. _Exeunt._

_Nic._ Beare vm away into their seuerall Wards. Let them be guarded strongly, till such time I shall acquaint my Soueraigne with this Plot. Rather then lose the Royall Dignitie, Ile striue to ruine a whole Progenie. _Exit._

Act. III.

_Enter_ ATTICVS, IAGO, NICANOR, _two Iudges_, _Notarie_, _and Attendants_.

_Att._ How full of troubles is the state of Kings, Abroad with Foes, at home, with faithlesse Friends, Within with cares, without, a thousand feares? Yet all summ’d vp together, doth not make Such an impression in our troubled thoughts, As this one Act of disobedience In our owne Issue.

_Iag._ Gracious Soueraigne, yet for that high respect, Be fauourable: she is your Daughter.

_1. Iud._ And the onely hope Of all Sicilie, since _Lorenzo’s_ losse.

_Att._ Bring to the Barre the Prisoners: this offence Hath lost in vs a Father and a Friend, And cals for Iustice from vs, as a King: Yet thinke not, Lords, but ’tis with griefe of mind, Nor can a Father easly forget a Daughter, Whom hee once so dearely lou’d: Yet we had rather become Issulesse, Then leaue it noted to Posteritie, An Act of such Iniustice.

_2. Iud._ Yet, dread Liege, Oh, doe not too much aggrauate the crime. Rather impute it to their childish loue.

_Att._ To loue, my Lords? if that were lowable, What Act so vile, but might be so excus’d? The Murderer, that sheddeth guiltlesse bloud, Might plead, it was for loue of his Reuenge, The Felon likewise might excuse his theft, With loue of money, and the Traytor too Might say, It was for loue of Soueraigntie. And indeed, all offenders so might plead. _A Barre._ Therefore, my Lords, you that sit here to Iudge, Let all respect of persons be forgot, And deale vprightly, that you may resemble The highest Iudge, whose seat on Earth you hold: And for you know, the Lawes of Sicilie Forbid to punish two, for one offence, Let your care be to find the principall, The _Primus Motor_ that begun the cause; For the effect (you see) is but the issue That one of them may worthily receiue Deserued death; the other, may be sent (As lesse offending) into banishment. _Exit_ King.

_The Prisoners brought to the _Enter_ Lisandro, _and_ Leonida. Barre by a Gard._

_1. Iudg._ Th’offence wherewith you both stand tax’d withall, Appeares so manifest in grosse, that now We need not question all particulars In publique here: yet your triall shall Be honourable, as your Persons were Before this blacke Impression. Therefore say, Which of you two begun th’occasion, By any meanes, direct or indirect? And answer truely, as you looke for grace.

_Lis._ ’Twas I, my honour’d Lords.

_Leo._ My Lords, ’twas I.

_Lis._ Let not this honourable Court be swaid By false suggestions; that the fault was mine, Appeares as manifest as mid-dayes Sunne, ’Twas I that first attempted, su’d, and prai’d, Vs’d all the subtile engins Art could inuent, Or Nature yeeld, to force affection, Onely to gaine the royall Princesse loue; For what can Women aboue weakenesse act? Or, what Fort’s so strong, but yeelds at length To a continued siege? Th’attempt, I knew, was hard and dangerous: Therefore more honourable in the conquest; Which ere I would haue left, I would ha’ past More dangers then ere _Iason_ vnder-went. Then, since you see (my Lords) the guilt was mine, Pardon the Princesse, Mee to death resigne.

_Leo._ Pardon (my Lords) _Lisandro_, let me dye: If euer you’le performe an act of iustice Shall make you truely famous, doe it here, Here vpon me; the guilt alone is mine: ’Twas this alluring face, and tempting smiles, That drew on his affections. Say that Hee Did first commence the suit; the fault was mine In yeelding to it: ’Tis a greater shame For women to consent, then men to aske: And yet, before he spoke, I had ingag’d My heart and loue to him, vnask’d, vnpraid; And then (you know) how soone our eyes discouers The true affection that we beare our Louers: Then since the guilt alone remaines in Mee, Let me be iudg’d, and set _Lisandro_ free.

_2. Iudg._ This knot is intricate.

_Lis._ ’Tis fallacie. Who can alledge one Article ’gainst her? Th’offence was, breaking of the Kings command, That none, on paine of death, should visit her, Vnlesse appoynted by the King himselfe; And that alone was mine: ’Twas my deuice; I tooke the borrowed shape; I broke the Law, And I must suffer for’t: Then doe not wrong Her spotlesse Chastitie.

_4. Iudg._ How, Chastitie?

_Lis._ If any here conceiue her otherwise, That very thought will damne him: She’s as chaste As ere your Mothers in their cradles were, For any act committed.

_2. Iudg._ Harder still.

_1. Iudg._ A confused Labyrinth: we shal ne’r wind out.

_Leo._ My Lords, beleeue him not; the guilt lies here: ’Twas I that sent him that deluding shape, In which he got admittance; The offence Rests onely here: And therefore (good my Lords) Let the condemning sentence passe on mee; Or else, I will protest to all the world, You are vniust; And take my death vpon’t.

_Lis._ Fie, Madam, how you wrong your innocence! And seeming (Lady) to be pittifull To mee, you are most cruell; for my life Should be a willing sacrifice to death, To expiate the guilt of my offence. Remember what continuall paines I tooke, By messages, intreaties, gifts, and prayers, To win your fauour, deare _Leonida_, Iustice in this will be Impietie, Vnlesse it here be shew’d. I beg it may.