Chapter 4

"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, he says when she come back from puttin' up the jars he jus' could n't but feel as his hour was surely come. He says how he ever done it he never has seen since, but he took up that noose 'n' put it over his head. He says as he did so he took a quick look at the window 'n' seen her lookin', 'n' he says he jus' hoped _surely_ she 'd give a scream _now_ 'n' come runnin' out the kitchen-door. But he says she 'd disappointed him so often his heart was like lead, 'n he felt bluer 'n he 's ever felt any other time in his life. He says he fixed the noose all smooth around his neck for five minutes or so, 'n' then there was nothin' in the wide world left for him to do but to take up that awful sharp hatchet.

"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, I vow I was interested in spite of myself. His voice shook 'n' his hands too jus' with rememberin'. I really felt to pity him--I did. He says he lifted the hatchet 'n' looked at the window tryin' to hope fully 'n' securely as _this_ time she 'd _surely_ come out screamin' 'n' runnin'. 'N' she never screamed 'n' she never run! Oh, my, but he says he was tremblin' from head to foot 'n' the cold sweat jus' poured over him. He says he took up the hatchet 'n' held it quiverin' in his quiverin' hand, 'n' then he made a weak hack at the rope as tied the pole to the upright. He says he see her nose in the window as he hacked 'n' then he says no words can ever describe his feelin's when he suddenly learned as he 'd cut the rope!--He says he never had no more idea o' hittin' the rope than he had o' hangin' himself, 'n' he said when he very quickly felt as he 'd done both nothin' can properly explain him!--He says the newspapers don't have no idea a _tall_ of how it feels or they 'd never print it so cool 'n' calm. He says cuttin' the rope let the pole loose 'n' the noose ran up on him 'n' choked him most terrible. My gracious, he says but carbolic acid 'n' Rough on Rats is child's play beside that grip on your throat. He says he never will forget how it felt, not if he lives to be Methusalem's great-grandfather. He says he got a most awful jerk from his head to his heels too as nigh to broke his ankles, 'n' a twist in his wrist from the weight o' the hatchet, but he said he did n't have no time to take no a'count o' nothin' just then but the way everythin' turned red 'n' black 'n' run into his ears."

"Did it kill--" cried Mrs. Lathrop, much excited.

"I 'm goin' to tell you.--He says the last thing he knowed was Tilly's shriek. O' course when he cut the rope she seen he 'd meant it all, 'n' so she grabbed up a carvin' knife 'n' yelled to her father 'n' run. Old man Ely says it was good she run, for there was n't a minute to lose. Old Pearson run too from where he was in the barn but Tilly got there first. She didn't lose one second in sawin' him free at both ends 'n' he says he was so nigh to dead that first he thought she was a gopher, 'n' then an angel. Oh, my, but he says he was dizzy at first, 'n' faint, 'n' queer in his ears. He sat 'n' thought about it all by himself for a long while this mornin' afore he went on again. He says no one ever realizes how close they are to eternity unless they accidentally go 'n' do suthin' so darn foolish as that.

"Well, he says, after a while, after a long, long while, he felt to get to the house, 'n' then, he says, come one o' the strangest parts o' the story--the part as shows how everythin' turns out for the best in the end. He says it's really most like a fairy-tale, 'n' jus' as if he 'd planned it all to order. Seems when he tried to get up 'n' walk to the house Tilly wanted her father to help hold up his other side, 'n' she could n't see where her father was. She started aroun' the shed to look for him 'n' there she found him stretched out flat.--Seems when she cut Ely loose she let the pole fly roun' jus' in time to take her father in the legs 'n' there he laid, not dead, but in a way as showed right off as some one else 'd have to run his farm from then on. Well, old man Ely says you need n't tell him as there ain't no All-wise Providence after _that_, 'n' he rubbed his chin with his hand a long, long while 'n' shook his head 'n' then said 'need n't tell _him_' all over again. He says he joined the church the very next Sunday 'n' him 'n' Tilly was married in September like he 'd always planned. He says they was very happy on the whole 'n' after a while Old Pearson got where he got around pretty well, only for a crazy idea he had as suthin' unexpected was goin' to hit him sudden. He says he had the idea so strong as he never was free from it while he was alive 'n' it was a mercy when he died. He says as he see how good things can turn out, for, Tilly always jus' loved him half to death 'cause he 'd loved her enough to cut that rope in two. He says he means her to have a very handsome monument, 'n' if he ever marries again he shall keep her picture in the parlor just the same."

"Do--" said Mrs. Lathrop.

"Well, I think he 'll try to," said Miss Clegg, "but his other wife may not see it in the same spirit, Mrs. Ely not bein' no great ornament, 'n' the farm is safe now anyhow."

"I--" said Mrs. Lathrop, further.

"Yes," said Susan, "I thought so myself but it did n't seem to strike him that way."

* * * * *

THE WOLF AT SUSAN'S DOOR

PART FIRST

MISS CLEGG'S SPECULATIONS

Mrs. Lathrop, rocking placidly in her kitchen window, was conscious of a vague sense of worry as to her friend over the fence. It appeared to her that Susan was looking more thin and peaked than nature had intended. It is true that Miss Clegg was always of a bony and nervous outline, but it seemed slowly but surely borne in upon her older friend that of late she had been rapidly becoming sharper in every way. Mrs. Lathrop felt that she ought to speak--that she ought not to lead her next door neighbor into the false belief that her sufferings were unnoticed by the affectionate spectacles forever turned her way,--and yet--Mrs. Lathrop being Mrs. Lathrop--it was only after several days of rocking and cogitation that the verbal die came to its casting.

That came to be upon a summer evening, and it came to pass across the barrier-fence where Miss Clegg had come to lean wearily, her shoulders and the corners of her mouth following the same dejected angle, while her elderly friend stood facing her with a gaze that was at once earnest, penetrating, and commiserating, and a clover blossom in her mouth.

"Susan," said Mrs. Lathrop, in a voice mournful enough to have renovated Job; "Susan, I--"

Miss Clegg shut her eyes firmly and opened them sharply.

"I 'm glad you have," she said, in a voice whose tone was divided between relief and reproach,--"I certainly am glad you have. I try to be close-mouthed 'n' never trouble any one with my affairs, Mrs. Lathrop, but I will say as I have often wondered at how you could sit 'n' rock in the face of what I 've been grinnin' 'n' bearin' these last few weeks. Not that rockin' is any crime, 'n' I always feel it must be fine exercise for the chair, but it 's hard for one who has the wolf at their door, 'n' not only at their door, but nigh to bu'stin' it in, to see their dearest friend rockin' away, like wolf or no wolf she 'd go on forever."

Mrs. Lathrop looked aggrieved.

"Why, Susan--" she protested.

"That ain't no excuse," the friend said, not harshly but with a cold distinctness; "you may talk yourself blind if you feel so inclined, 'n' I don't say but what you really did n't mean nothin', but the fact remains, 'n' always will remain, as you 've took a deal of comfort rockin' while I 've been kitin' broadcast tryin' to see if I could keep soul 'n' body together or whether I 'd have to let one or the other of 'em go."

Mrs. Lathrop opened her mouth and eyes widely.

"I never--" she gasped.

Susan hooked herself on to the fence-rail with both her elbows preparatory to a lengthy debate; her eyes were bright, her expression one of unreserved exposition. Mrs. Lathrop continued to keep her eyes and mouth open, but reasons which will soon be known to the reader prevented her making another remark for a long time.

"Mrs. Lathrop, I may as well begin by goin' 'way back to the beginnin' of everythin' 'n' takin' you right in the hide and hair of my whole troubles. It ain't possible for you to realize what your rockin 's meant to me unless you understand to the full what I 've been goin' through 'n' crawlin' under these last weeks. I want to spare your feelin's all I can, for it ain't in me to be unkind to so much as a gooseberry, but I can't well see how you can keep from bein' some punched by remorse when you hear how I 've been cleanin' house with a heavy heart 'n' no new mop. That's what I 've been doin', Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' so help me Heaven, it's death or a new mop next year. The way that mop has skipped dirt 'n' dripped water!--well, seein' is the only believin' when it comes to mops, but all I can say is that you never looked more spotty than I have since that mop, 'n' you know how lookin' spotty is mortal agony to me--me not bein' one who can be happy rockin' on top of dirt.

"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, I said I was goin' to begin at the beginnin', so I will, although the whole town knows as it was that fine scheme of Mr. Kimball's as set my ball bouncin' down hill. I was n't the only one as got rolled over 'n' throwed out feet up, but I don't know as bein' one of a number to lose money makes the money any more fun to lose. Mr. Dill was sayin' yesterday as he would n't have listened to nothin' but white for Lucy's weddin'-dress if it had n't been for Mr. Kimball 'n' his little scheme, but I don't get any great comfort out of knowin' that Lucy Dill 's got to try 'n' get herself married in her Aunt Samantha Dill's blue bengaline. The blue bengaline 's very handsome 'n' I never see a prettier arrangement of beads 'n' fringe, but every one says too much of Lucy shows at the top 'n' bottom to even be romantic. They _can_ hook it, but Lucy can't stay hooked inside but five minutes at the outside. I 'm sure I don't see how they 'll ever fix it, 'n' Gran'ma Mullins says she cries whenever she thinks that at Hiram's weddin' the bride won't have no weddin'-dress. Polly Allen wanted Lucy to open the darts 'n' let in puffs like Mary Stuart's husbands always was puffed, but Lucy never see Mary Stuart 'n' the only picture in town of any of her husbands has got him in bed with the sheet drawed up to his chin 'n' his hands folded right on top of where they 'd want to copy the darts. Such a picture ain't no help a _tall_, so Lucy is still shakin' her head the same as at first. _My_ idea would be to make no wish-bones about it 'n' just be married in her travelin'-dress 'n' then wear it when she goes away, but it seems she wants her travelin'-dress for church, 'n' does n't mean to wear it travelin' anyhow, because she 'n' Hiram is just wild over the no-one-knowin'-they 're-married idea, 'n' Lucy is goin' to wear old gloves 'n' some buttons off her shoes, 'n' Hiram is goin' to wear his mother's spectacles 'n' Mr. Shores' store umbrella. Gran'ma Mullins feels awful over Hiram's goin' away like that; she says she 's brought him up so neat 'n' always a vest on Sunday 'n' only shirt-sleeves in summer, 'n' now to think of him goin' off on his weddin'-trip in Mr. Shores' umbrella!--but Lucy don't care--nor Hiram neither--'n' they 're goin' to take along a piece of sand-paper 'n' sand-paper the shine off the ring on the train. Polly Allen 'n' the deacon is laughin' to fits over them. Everythin' 's very different with Polly 'n' the deacon. The deacon says it ain't in reason as a man of sixty-two can look forward to many more weddin's, 'n' he 's goin' to sit with his arm around Polly, 'n' he don't care who chooses to suspeck they 're weddin'-trippin'. They 're goin' to be all new clothes right through to their skins, 'n' Polly 's goin' to have a orange-blossom bunch on her hat. The deacon says he 'll pay for all the rice folks are willin' to throw, 'n' it 's a open secret as he 's goin' to give the minister a gold piece. The minister was smilin' all over town about it until Mr. Kimball told him he see a gold quarter-of-a-dollar once. He's hopin' for a five, but Mr. Shores says he knows positive as the deacon got two two-dollar-and-a-halfs at the bank when his wife died, and he gave one to the minister then 'n' probably he 's been savin' the other to get married again with."

Susan paused for breath--a vital necessity--and then went on:

"But dear me, Mrs. Lathrop, all that ain't what I set out to tell you, 'n' even if it's a pleasure to you to hear it, it ain't in reason as I should take my time to talk to you about other people's affairs. You may be interested in other people's affairs, but I ain't, 'n' we started to talk about mine 'n' what I set out to talk about I talk about or else I stay at home. It was my troubles as I was goin' to make a clean high breast of, Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' I 'll lay any odds as by the time I get through you 'll have little feelin' to sleep in you. The Lord says, 'To him who hath shall be given,' 'n' I will in confidence remark as I 've just been achin' to give it to you for these many days. You 've always been poor, but you 've never seemed to mind; now I 'm poor (yes, Mrs. Lathrop, jump if you like"--for Mrs. Lathrop had started in surprise--"but it 's so) 'n' _I_ mind; I mind very much, I mind all up 'n' down and kitty-cornered crossways, 'n' if I keep on gettin' poor, Lord have mercy on you, for I shall certainly not be able to look on calmly at no great amount of rockin'."

Mrs. Lathrop stared widely--and gasped openly. Susan continued:

"It all began with Mr. Kimball 'n' his gettin' the fever of speckilation. Mr. Kimball said he thought he 'd rather get rich quick than not get rich at all. That was the way he put it 'n' it sounded so sensible 't I felt to agree. Then he begin to unfold how (he had the newspaper in his hand), 'n' as soon as he was unfolded I read the advertisement. It was a very nice advertisement an' no patent medicine could have sounded easier to take in. You buy two rubber trees 'n' then wait two years 'n' get fifty per cent till you die. Well, Mrs. Lathrop, I went over that advertisement fifty times to try 'n' see what to do 'n' yet the more I studied it the less faith I had in it somehow. The picture of the man who tended the trees was up on top 'n' little pictures of him made a kind of pearl frame around the whole, 'n' he was honest enough lookin', as far as I could judge, but--as I told Mr. Kimball--what was to guarantee us as he 'd stick to the same job steady, 'n' I certainly did n't have no longin' in me to buy a rubber tree in southeast Peru 'n' then leave it to be hoed around by Tom, Dick, 'n' Harry. So I shook my head 'n' said 'no' in the end 'n' then we looked up railway stocks. Mr. Kimball read me a list of millionaires 'n' he asked me if I would n't like to be called 'Susan Clegg, queen of the Western Pacific'--but I 'm too old to be caught by any such chaff, 'n' I told him so to his face, and then it was that we come to his favorite scheme of the 'Little Flyer in Wheat.' That was what he called it, 'n' I must say that I think it's a pretty good name, only if I know myself I 'll buy wheat as never sets down hereafter.

"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, it took a deal of talkin' 'n' Mr. Kimball had to do a lot of figgerin' before my eyes afore I was ready to believe him when he said as five of us could go in together 'n' double our money every few days for a month or so. He showed me as what he was figgerin' from was printed in plain letters 'n' red ink in a city paper, 'n' after a while I opened my mouth 'n' swallowed the whole thing, red ink 'n' all. Mr. Kimball, Mr. Dill, Mr. Shores, me, 'n' me over again, was the five, 'n' we bought the share right off, fully believin' as we 'd begin the wheat-flyin' the same way--" Susan paused and set her teeth a little vigorously for a moment,--then:

"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, that was the way it all begun, 'n' I can lay my hand anywhere 'n' swear as all my bad luck is founded solid on Mr. Kimball in consequence. The very day after we begun with our fly instid of doublin' he halved in the mornin' paper 'n' it seemed we 'd got to buy him all over again or it was good-by Johnny. Me bein' the only one with money known to be ready 'n' idle they brought the paper to me to save the share, 'n' I can only say, Mrs. Lathrop, as I wish as you could have seen their faces when they saw mine. I saw I was a lamb sittin' among the sharks, but I see, too, as I 'd have to come to time 'n' I got the money, 'n' then we set down--Mr. Dill, Mr. Shores, 'n' me--to figger on how much of the share was mine on the new deal. It struck me, 'n' it strikes me now, 'n' it always will strike me, as any one as owns two-fifths of a thing and then buys the whole thing over again owns seven-fifths of it from then on, but Mr. Dill had the face to tell me to my face as it wa'n't so at all. He figgered the share at 100 'n' us paid down at 50 'n' me all together as aggravatin' up to 45, 'n' I could only sit starin' 'n' stark ravin' dumb to see where he would come out after that. I did n't say nothin' of what I felt to him or Mr. Shores, for the very good reason as I wanted to save all my feelin's for Mr. Kimball, but I tell you that a volcano gettin' itself made in the beginnin' is floatin' lily-pads beside the inside of me that hour.

"I went down-town that afternoon 'n' I aired myself pretty thoroughly over the whole town, I can assure you. Mr. Allen said I 'd better pocket my loss 'n' give up dabblin' in stocks, but I did n't see no great sense in what he said. I did n't have nothin' to pocket, everything was gone,--'n' so far as dabblin' goes I wa'n't dabblin', I was in up to my nose. But Mr. Kimball come out as brassy as a bass-drum 'n' showed me a picture of wheat layin' on his back in bed takin' a tonic with four doctors doin' up his room work for him. The doctors was all millionaires on that stock list of railroads 'n' I counted on their knowin' what they were givin' him, so I come home quite a little easier, 'n' that night I slept like a ton of hay. But the next day!--my Lord alive, you remember the next day, don't you, Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' it must have been arsenic as them four had put in his bottle, for I was up in the garret makin' a thistle-down pillow 'n' there come Ed tearin' up on his bicycle to tell me as I must stick in ten dollars more on a margin. 'On a what?' I hollered from the window. 'On a margin,' he hollered from under the porch. Well, really, Mrs. Lathrop, I do believe if he had n't been under the porch I would have throwed something down on him. My, but I was mad! I come down that garret-ladder like a greased pan 'n' I tied my bonnet on 'n' walked straight in on Mr. Kimball. That was one time as he did very little jokin', 'n' in the end he put in five of the ten himself 'n' then we both sat down 'n' tried to figger out as to how much of that share we each owned. I will confess as takin' down stoves was lookin' out of the window beside that job, 'n' in the end he made out as that if the share was worth the whole of itself I 'd own half, but bein' worth only what had happened to it there was n't the half in the whole. So I come home 'n' dreamed nothin' but nightmares runnin' wildly up 'n' down me.

"You know what happened next!--it was the next mornin', 'n' I was makin' bread with a very heavy dough when Ed come bouncin' in for three dollars more margin. Well, I honestly thought I 'd bu'st. I blazed up so quick 'n' so sudden that Ed fell back agin the table, 'n' then I shook till the window rattled. It was a good minute before I could speak, 'n' when I spoke, I may in truth remark, Mrs. Lathrop, that I never spoke plainer nor firmer in my life,--'Edward Andrews'--I says--'Edward Andrews, you paddle yourself right back to Mr. Kimball 'n' tell him that my patience is very short 'n' is gettin' shorter each minute, 'n' you may just casually mention that I ain't got no more money to margin with not now 'n' not never. If a thing as I 've paid nigh to eight-fifths for is shrunk to less than half of itself Mr. Dill 'n' Mr. Shores can margin for it from now on--I'm done forever.' 'N' I was done, too--but I never bargained on what came next!--Mr. Kimball traded that share in wheat for two in a Refrigerator Trust 'n' never even so much as sneezed about it to me, 'n' I will say, Mrs. Lathrop, as I consider that the Bible sayin' 'Honor among thieves' ought to apply to me just as much as to any one else. 'N' there I went into the city as unsuspectin' as a can brimful of buttermilk 'n' bought a paper to read comin' home on the cars, 'n' what should I unfold but wheat runnin' up a ladder along with a bull to get out of the way of a lot of wild-lookin' lambs! The ladder-rungs was numbered 'n' I was sharp enough to see as them numbers was money 'n' that wheat had one leg safe on 110; so I kited home to sell out--'n' it was then I learned about the Refrigerator!

"Well, Mrs. Lathrop!--well, _Mrs_. Lathrop, what do you think was my feelin's then?--I tell you boilin' lava 'n' India's sunny strand was n't hotter than me that minute. Me--the backbone of the whole thing 'n' sold out like I was a mummy while I was in town buyin' darnin'-cotton!"

Miss Clegg shifted her weight to the other foot and drew a long, fresh breath.

"Mr. Kimball 'n' me has never been the same since," she continued with warmth;--"we had enough to make us different, Heaven knows, for from that day on misfortune has just dogged and rabbited me, I know. The winter was so cold that the only way the Refrigerator Trust could come out even was to burn up toward spring, 'n' the day it burnt wheat was sittin' on 140, kissin' his hand to the new crop."

"But Mr. Kim--" interposed Mrs. Lathrop.

"Oh, well, of course, havin' Mr. Shores fail right opposite brightened everything for him--I 'd smile myself if any one was to fail right opposite me, 'n' I said just that very thing to Mr. Shores the mornin' after. I says,--I says, 'Mr. Shores, you must consider that this is a world of ups and downs, 'n' that if you don't like to fail your failure is makin' Mr. Kimball happy 'n' your loss will be his credit.' But Mr. Shores was too busy to talk, so I bought two skewers to encourage him 'n' come out, 'n' within a week I found to my sorrow as I was pretty unpleasantly near to a mark-down sale myself."

"It was--" observed Mrs. Lathrop, sadly.