Chapter 6

"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, I wish 't you could 'a' been there to see us. The water jus' streamed off Mrs. Macy 'n' me, 'n' I bet them poultices was hot, for no one never asked f'r a nother o' their own free will. Young Dr. Brown soon had to take off his vest, 'n' roll up his sleeves c'nsiderably more high, 'n' I will say 't beavers was nothin' to the way he worked. When he had the last one sewed off 'n' was ready to go, he looked like there was nothin' left 's he did n't know how to do. He brung me home in his buggy. I know it was pretty late, 'n' I never was no great hand to approve o' buggy-ridin' after dark, but he's married 'n' I thought 's no real harm could come o' it, so I up 'n' in. Mrs. Macy said she 'd stay all night 'n' sleep with 'Liza Em'ly 'n' Rachel Rebecca in the little half-bed. We come up along through town, 'n' I tell you I never see the square so gay any election night 's it was last night. Not a store was closed, 'n' Mr. Kimball was sellin' soda-water 't four cents a glass, with a small sheet o' court plaster throwed in at that. Dr. Brown stopped to go in back o' the fountain 'n' mix suthin' 't they keep there for him, 'n' it was then 's I hear about Jathrop.

"Seems 't along about 'n hour after the cow 'd run over everybody, Jathrop come moonin' back from where the butcher lives out Cherry Pond way. Seems 't the sight o' his calmness jus' sort o' set every one 's wasn't a wreck plum crazy. Seems 't when he asked what was up Deacon White shook his fist 't him 'n' said he was what 'd ought to be up--strung up, 'n' Hiram Mullins wanted to souse him in the waterin'-trough. Seems 't Hiram was mad 'cause he paid for them teeth o' Gran'ma Mullins, 'n' the teacups too. Well, it was pretty lively, 'n' the first thing any one knew Mr. Weskin drawed Jathrop off to one side to cross-examine him a little, 'n' Hiram see him start to run f'r the station. Hiram didn't waste no words findin' fault 't Lawyer Weskin's lettin' him go, but he went after him jus' jumpin'. He didn't catch him, though, 'n' so that's the end o' Jathrop."

Miss Clegg paused, and drew a long, refreshing breath.

"I guess you've had a nice breakfast," she said in a minute, "only you'd ought to eat more."

"I didn't feel much--" said Mrs. Lathrop.

"Well, you 'd ought to. How's your leg? C'n you feel it this mornin'?"

"Oh, yes, I c'n--"

"Then it's all right so far. But I hear last night 's you c'n feel a leg even after it 's been cut off. Mrs. Macy says she heard of a man 's suffers awful yet in a leg as he lost in a planin'-mill over thirty years ago."

"My Lord alive!" cried Mrs. Lathrop.

"So you see you ain't sure whether your leg 's still there or not. However, I 've got to go, leg or no leg. I told Mrs. Macy I 'd be at the minister's at half-past eight to boil 'em all fresh 'n' I ain't got more 'n time to make it easy. I 'll be home to get you some dinner."

"I wish I knew where Ja--"

Susan stopped in the act of bending for the tray.

"Mrs. Lathrop!--Mrs. _Lathrop!_ Do you mean to say 's you don't know a blessin' when it 's throwed right square in your face like yesterday? Jathrop 's gone, 'n' he can't never come back, 'n' if you had ten legs you 'd ought to yield the last one o' 'em up to Heaven without a murmur out o' sheer gratitude over his bein' took. Now you lay still there 'n' don't even think such foolishness, or the Lord may lose his patience like the cow did hers, 'n' after feelin' 'n' seein' 'n' hearin' what a cow c'n do, I shouldn't feel noways inclined to rouse the Lord 'f I was you."

So saying, Susan took up her tray and left the room.

* * * * *

The morning was very long to the broken-legged one, who found herself quite unable to sleep under such circumstances. Her mind did not exactly race about among the startling developments of the past few hours, but it did dwell dubiously upon the more unfortunate phases of past, present, and (possible) future events.

She was glad beyond words when she heard Miss Clegg's step on the kitchen stoop about noon, and two minutes later Susan was occupying the rocker, and the repast which she had brought with her was beginning to occupy her friend.

"It 's jus' awful 's you can't get out," the visitor said sympathetically; "you're missin' things 's you'll never have a chance to see again--not 'f you live 's high 's Methusylem. The whole c'mmunity is in the square or else on the crick road. They've got the minister laid out on the sofa, like he was a president, 'n' Polly Allen 's right there every minute to open the door 'n' keep the line amovin'! Every one wants to see the minister 'n' every one wants to see the cow; so some goes for the minister first 'n' the cow later, 'n' others looks 't the cow first 'n' takes the minister in on the way back. They all stop one way or the other to look down at Mrs. Jilkins' clawin's on the side o' the ditch, 'n' they say the way she dug in the time she finally made it's almost beyond belief. The minister says it's nothin' but a joy to him to welcome his friends. He lays there 'n' quotes 'All thy waves 'n' billows went right over me,' 'n' smiles under his cotton, but Mr. Kimball says 'f he told the truth he'd say 'Jathrop Lathrop's cow 's went right over me 'instid.

"I must say 's the minister seems to be survivin' better 'n his wife. She says she thought 't the baby was the last straw, 'n' now here was a cow ten thousand times worse. She says bein' resigned is all right 'f you c'n be alone 'n' sit down in peace, but she'd like to know how any one c'd resign themselves to a husband 'n' twelve childern all freshly stepped on. I told her's the new baby hadn't been touched, but she seemed beyond payin' attention to trifles like tellin' the truth.

"Young Dr. Brown 's awful anxious for some fresh cotton 'n' old Dr. Carter to get here from Meadville. He says he wants to dress Henry Ward Beecher's ear 'f anybody c'n ever catch Henry Ward Beecher. 'Liza Em'ly 's goin' around huggin' herself 'n' groanin' to beat the band, but young Dr. Brown says he can't do nothin' for her because there ain't no way to get in behind a rib 'n' pry it out to place again. I guess the truth o' the matter is 't he 's jus' plum tired out piecin' 'n' mendin'. It's been a big job sewin' up after Jathrop's cow tore round like that. They say 's he had all of a foot to over-'n'-over along Mr. Fisher, 'n' Mr. Jilkins is jus' tufted like a sofa where he stopped up where he was skewered. Mrs. Jilkins is pretty hot yet over the parasol's bein' bust 'cause she 'd wrote her niece 's she was goin' to give it to her 'n' her niece 's bought a hat with yellow buttercups 'n' green leaves jus' to match it. But I'll tell you who's in a sad way,--it 's poor Gran'ma Mullins. From the first second 's they got her right end up again she begin to ask suthin', 'n' on a'count o' her teeth bein' gone no one could make out what it was. Hiram didn't get no sleep all night with her sighin' 'n' mumblin', 'n' towards mornin' he made out 's she was wantin' to know 'f Mr. Kimball 'd replace them cups 's the cow smashed. Hiram went right after breakfast 'n' asked, 'n' Mr. Kimball said not on Hiram's tin-type he wouldn't. He said Gran'ma Mullins was carryin' 'em herself sooner 'n trust Ed, 'n' he wa'n't to blame f'r such wild animals 's might naturally fancy takin' after her. They tried to console her by lettin' her see her teeth get put in a mustard box to go to the city to be mended, but the worst of it is 's two of the teeth can't be found in the square, 'n' Deacon White thinks he swallowed 'em when he laid there gaspin' so wide open. He says he never knowed such queer feelin's 's he had las' night. Mrs. Fisher was there, 'n' she said 'f Deacon White was bothered 's to how to act with them teeth he only needed to go 'n' consult Mr. Fisher 'cause there 's nothin' in the wide world 's Mr. Fisher ain't sure 't he knows more about 'n any one else. She says Mr. Fisher ain't a bit suited 't the way young Dr. Brown brought his edges together, 'n' she says he says 't jus' as soon 's he ain't so stiff 'n' sore about leanin' over he 's goin' to take all them stitches out 'n' sew himself up the way 't he 'd ought to be sewed."

Mrs. Lathrop turned a little in bed. Again the cracking noise might be heard, but neither one of the friends had mental leisure to notice it.

"Mr. Weskin stopped me on my way home," Susan continued, "'n' asked me what steps you was intendin' to take in regard to the lawsuits for damages--"

"Damages!" cried Mrs. Lathrop in great fright.

"Yes, your cow's damages."

"_My_ cow! I did n't have nothin' to do with her except get kicked by--"

"I know, but Mr. Weskin explained all that to me. Jathrop 's gone nobody knows where, 'n' so you come next. 'F he's proved dead leavin' property it 'd be yours, 'n' if he leaves damage-suits you inherit 'em jus' the same."

"My heavens!"

"Mr. Weskin says that's how it is, 'n' he mus' know. I 've always had a great respeck for what Mr. Weskin knows ever since he went into court 'n' proved 's the mill 's the other side o' the crick from where it is, jus' by havin' Hiram Mullins 'n' Sam Duruy stand up 'n' swear the mill-race run 'round behind it. I never could see how he done it, but I never felt to blame myself none f'r that, 'cause it takes another lawyer to see what a lawyer 's doin' anyhow. When a lawyer says anythin' 's so to me, I never take no time to disbelieve him 'cause 'f he wa'n't able to prove the truth o' his own lyin' he 'd never get to be in the law a _tall_. On the other hand, though, I don't trust him none, even if I ain't a mite o' doubt as to what he says. Believin' is cheap, you c'n believe the whole Bible 'n' it won't cost a cent 'n' is suthin' to your credit; but trustin' live folks is always expensive. 'F Lawyer Weskin says 's you c'n be sued, you 're pretty safe to feel it's so--the more so 's it was him 's sent Jathrop off so slick. But I ain't so sure 't I 'd sit down 'n' let him sue me 'f I was you. He c'n sue, from now on, but it's for you to c'nsider whether he gets anythin' but fun out o' it or not. 'F you 're willin' to be sued, it's ownin' you know you 've done suthin', 'n' you ain't done nothin'--it was the cow's did it to you. There ain't nothin' to be gained f'r even the wicked by ownin' up to bein' wicked in court, 'n' they often get off by ownin' up to bein' innocent. You can't never lose nothin' by swearin' 's it wa'n't you, 'n' 's far as my observation 's extended, a person 's starts out by tryin' to be honest 'n' sayin', 'Yes, I done it,' soon finds themselves with the whole neighborhood laid at their door 'n' never no thanks for it, neither.

"Mr. Weskin says 't Deacon White says 't some one 's got to pay him f'r happenin' to swallow Gran'ma Mullins' teeth when he wa'n't thinkin'. Well, 'f he's got a right to anythin', pretty nigh all the c'mmunity 's got a equal right. There 's Mr. Fisher with a slice out o' his side, 'n' them nine teacups o' Gran'ma Mullins'. There 's Mr. Jilkins goin' to set a price for every parasol punch he got, 'n' Mrs. Jilkins goin' to want a new parasol.

"'N' then it 'd be jus' like young Dr. Brown to perk up 'n' send you a bill, instid o' bein' everlastin'ly grateful for all the teachin' he owes straight to you. He's had a chance to perform 'most every kind o' operation 'n' to use up the last drop o' all his old liniments jus' as a result o' that one cow. Then too he's had a chance to call old Dr. Carter over in consultation, 'n' in the ordinary run o' things he could n't o' 'xpected to have nothin' to consult about f'r years 'n' years. He's a made young man 'n' all in one night, jus' owin' to you, 'n' the last time he whipped his horse through the square to-day, Mr. Kimball said he looked so busy 't he supposed they 'd elect him our next mayor.

"You was n't responsible f'r the cow's gettin', 'n' Jathrop was. It's Jathrop 's is to blame, 'n' if any one's to be sued it 'd ought to be him, 'n' he ain't got no property but the cow, 'n' she's hung up dead 'n' her own damage, so it's no use sum' him f'r anythin'. Folks 's ain't got nothin' don't never have any law troubles, 'n' Jathrop is gone off 'n' so he 's specially handy to blame for everythin'. 'S far 's my observation 's 'xtended, it 's always folks a long ways off 's it's wisest to lay all the faults to, 'n' 'f I was you--"

Mrs. Lathrop's eyes suddenly started out of her head.

"I can't feel my leg!" she cried.

Susan sprang to her feet.

"It's the plaster!" she exclaimed; then, starting towards the door, "I 'll run 'n' get the axe 'n' hack you right out."

"No--no," screamed Mrs. Lathrop, "not the axe."

"Then I 'll bring up the teakettle 'n' pour boilin' water on it till it softens 'n' comes off."

"No, I don't want--"

"Well, Mrs. Lathrop,"--Susan looked her disapproval,--"seems to me you 're jus' a little fussy. I must say if you ain't willin' to have it broke off or soaked off, I can't well see how it's goin' to be got off."

Mrs. Lathrop bunched herself somewhat, and a grating and powdering noise resulted.

"I drew it right up!" she cried joyfully.

Susan's expression became enigmatic.

Mrs. Lathrop manoeuvred further.

"I straightened it out!" she announced further.

Miss Clegg approached the bed.

"I don't believe 's it was ever broke," she said in deep disgust.

"Dr. Brown said he wa'n't sure," the invalid continued, elongating and contracting herself, caterpillar-like,' "he said 's he 'd wait the windin'--"

"Mrs. Lathrop," said Susan suddenly, "I 've jus' thought! It's this afternoon 's the butcher 'n' the man 's mends church spires 's comin' together to get the cow out o' the mill-wheel. The whole c'mmunity 's goin' down to look on, 'n' I can't see no good 'n' s'fficient reason why you should n't go too. I 'll help you dress, 'n' we 'll scurry along right now. 'F we meet Mr. Weskin 'n' he says lawsuit to you, you jus' up 'n' tell him 's you 're goin' to sue him for throwin' you head foremost into a fever on a'count o' not knowin' where your only son 's been gone all night, 'n' 'f young Dr. Brown _ever_ has the face to so much 's hint at a bill, you jus' out 'n' ask him 'f he knows a whole leg when he sees one, 'n' if he don't answer, say 't you 've got two in spite o' his plaster. There's always a way out o' anythin' 'f a person only don't try to think it out, but jus' speaks up sharp 'n' decided. Come on 'n' get up now, 'n' I 'll help you hurry, 'n' your leg won't miss nothin' after all."

Mrs. Lathrop got out of bed at once.

IV

SUSAN CLEGG'S COUSIN MARION

Mrs. Lathrop was of a placid disposition, and not inclined towards even that species of mental activity which a more than usual amount of astonishment demands. Therefore when she saw Susan going out one very rainy day she merely wondered where her energetic neighbor was going, and when, an hour later, she observed the same lady returning, she continued her usual trend of thought by the mildest possible further development of a species of curiosity as to where she had been.

Miss Clegg perceived the interested gaze directed towards her out of the kitchen window and decided to go in next door for a little visit. To that end she passed her own gate, entered Mrs. Lathrop's, proceeded up the front walk, stacked her dripping umbrella against one of the piazza posts, carefully disposed her rubbers beside the umbrella, and then entered the house.

She found Mrs. Lathrop seated in the kitchen.

"Why," said that lady, "I thought you was gone on up to see--"

"No," said the visitor, "I was to see her last week and I sha'n't go again for one while. Mrs. Brown 'n' me has been friends 'n' good friends for too many years to break off sudden, but still I never 'xpected 's she'd be one to try a new receipt on me 'n' never give me my choice's to whether I'd risk it or not until a good fifteen minutes after I'd swallowed the last bite. I can't feel anythin' but bitter still when I think of yesterday 'n' last night. I was sittin' there 's innocent 's a mule eatin' thistles, 'n' all of a sudden I felt to say, 'Mrs. Brown, did you put bakin' powder or yeast in that cake?' It was then 's she told me 't she'd up 'n' made it with suthin' 's a peddler throwed in at the door. 'Where's the label?' I says, puttin' my hand to where I felt the most need o' knowin' what in creation to come I had got in me. Well, Mrs. Lathrop, 'f she hadn't burned up the label; so there was nothin' f'r me to do but go home 'n' come nigh to dyin' of I did n't know what. I 've got a book, 'The Handy Family Friend,' 's tells what you 'd ought to take after you 've took anythin', 'n' I read it 'way through to see 'f there was any rule f'r when you don't know what you 've took, but there wa'n't no directions, 'n' so I jus' calmly spent the night hoppin' about like mad, 'n' I 'm free to confess 't there'll be a coolness in my feelin's towards Mrs. Brown henceforth. I ain't said nothin' direct to her herself, but I spoke my full mind to Mrs. Macy, 'n' Mrs. Macy give me to understand 's she should let Mrs. Brown know my sufferin's, 'n' I mentioned to Mr. Kimball 's I felt some hurt over bein' pierced to the core with cake 's nobody knowed what had raised it, 'n', although he laughed 'n' said mebbe Cain raised it, still I feel he 's safe to tell every one in town. I want 's every one sh'd know it. I consider 't when a woman goes to see another woman she 's unsuspectin' o' any new species o' cake-raisin', 'n' 'f there is any new species in the wind my view o' the matter is 's it 'd ought to be tried on somebody else 'n' not on me."

Miss Clegg stopped and shook her head hard.

"Where have you--" began Mrs. Lathrop.

"Oh, that reminds me," said the caller with a sudden start. She paused a second, as if to gather force for the proper delivery of her next speech; a wondrous glow of unconscious but exalted triumph rose to her visage. "I went," she announced, her voice high-keyed with confidence as to what was about to fall upon the totally unprepared placidity of the unsuspecting Mrs. Lathrop,--"I went to post a letter to Cousin Marion!"

Mrs. Lathrop's jaw dropped. A sudden and complete paralysis of all her faculties seemed to be the immediate effect of her friend's astounding communication.

For a full half-minute there was silence in the kitchen while Susan rocked and enjoyed the sight of the havoc wrought by her speech.

But at last Mrs. Lathrop gathered some fragments out of the wreck of her sensibilities and said feebly,--

"Why, Susan, I never hear as you had one single--"

"Nor me, neither," said the caller,--and then the sluice-gates opened, and the stream swept through and madly on again,--"nor me, neither, Mrs. Lathrop. I never even dreamed o' any such goin's on, 'n' I c'n assure you 's the shock 's come 's heavy on me 's on you. I went up garret this mornin' 's innocent 's a babe whose mother 's yet unborn, 'n' there I found her."

"In the garret!" cried Mrs. Lathrop.

Miss Clegg drew a long breath.

"In a trunk. 'N' jus' 's unexpected 's the comin' o' Judgment Day. Mrs. Lathrop, you c'n believe me or not jus' 's you please, but I give you my Gospel word of honor as when I turned down the flap o' a trunk 'n' see that old mousey letter stuck in it cornerways, I no more thought o' findin' a cousin than I did o' findin' a moth, 'n' _you_ know how scarce moths is with me; I ain't so much 's seen one 'xcept on your side o' the house in twenty years, I do believe. 'N' I could n't in conscience say 's I was pleased when I did see the letter, f'r I thought's like 's not it was a bill, 'n' anyhow I wa'n't inclined to be over-pleased at anythin' this mornin'--I persume you saw how the minister come in on me?"

"Yes," said Mrs. Lathrop, "I see him. What--"

"Wanted to name the baby after me, 'n' I call it a pretty time to come namin' a baby when a woman has got one leg on a ladder 'n' her head tied up for bats. I thought he was the tin-peddler from Meadville, 'n' I run f'r my rag-bag, 'n' then there it was only the minister after all! Well, I was n't pleased a _tall_, 'n' I did n't ask him in, neither. I stood fair 'n' square in the doorway, 'n' 'f he was 'xpectin' to see me look happy over havin' a compliment paid me, 't was one more time 's he did n't get what he 'xpected. That was what he called it,--'payin' me a compliment,'--'n' I mus' say 's it struck me 's pretty high-flown language f'r jus' simply wantin' to name a thirteenth baby after the richest woman in the c'mmunity. Seems to me thirteen was a good many to wait afore thinkin' o' me anyhow, 'n' I ain't noways sure 's I want a thirteenth baby named after me anyway. I never was foolish like some folks, 'n' you know _that_ 's well 's I do, Mrs. Lathrop, but still you know, too, 's it's never nothin' but safe to keep away fr'm the under side o' ladders 'n' the number thirteen. I 've heard Gran'ma Mullins tell a dozen times 's how 'f she 'd never 'a' gone picnickin' on twice thirteen--that's twenty-six--o' July she 'd never 'a' met her husband, 'n' might o' married Deacon White. They was both after her, 'n' she picked out the wrong one, 'n' first he went to the war 'n' then he went to the dogs, 'n' now there she is in a four-room cottage 'n' Deacon White's wife orderin' a patent ice-box out o' a catalogue 'n' him never sayin' a word. She c'd 'a' took a world o' comfort with his daughter, 'n' I don't believe she takes none to speak o' with Hiram, 'n' anyway I was clean put out with the minister afore I even see him, f'r I can't abide that way he 'n' his wife's both got o' talkin' 'n' talkin' 'n' never gettin' aroun' to sayin' what they set out to. I like folks 's is right quick 'n' sharp, 'n' these roamin', meanderin' kind o' everlastin' talkers ain't my idea a _tall_. 'N' I 'm free to confess 's I did get some tempered to-day standin' there listenin' to what did n't interest me no more 'n a pussy-willow, 'n' me wild to be rootin' up garret all the time.